The Believer (The Shakers 2)

by Ann H. Gabhart

  "Yea," Ethan said. He had no other words.

  "You are late to your duty."

  "I lost count of the time," Ethan said as he obediently followed Brother Martin away from the graveyard. He would follow the rules. He would put his hands to work and he would strive to be simple in the Shaker way.

  "You are to stay with me on this day while your fingers begin to heal. As it is your left hand that is injured, you can help copy some lessons for the young brothers, and then with the morning, you will be assigned to work in the Carpenters' Shop'

  "How will I work with this?" Ethan held up his splinted hand.

  "Worry not. Until your hand is better, you will only be fetching supplies for the other carvers or sweeping and cleaning. As Mother Ann teaches, good spirits will not stay where we allow dirt to collect. So we must keep our workrooms as clean and neat as we keep our spirits and our hearts" Brother Martin looked at Ethan sharply. "It is good we have meeting this evening, for I sense you have some work to do cleaning out your heart and putting the right feelings back into your spirit"

  "Yea;' Ethan answered.

  But that night at meeting, his spirit was not put right. All he could think of was the darkness falling outside and where Elizabeth might find to lay her head. In spite of the way he stomped and shook as he exercised the dances for Mother Ann and sang the songs begging to be brought low and live the simple life, he longed for only one simple thing. That was to feel Elizabeth's head resting in the hollow of his shoulder and to know she was safe.

  He feared such thinking might bring conflict into the meeting, and so he withdrew from the dances to sit and watch. Some moved with freedom of spirit, but others seemed unsure and unblessed as they went through the motions of the dance. Brother Payton was one of those. He didn't seem able to keep his mind on the proper steps or his eye on the marks in the wooden floor that kept the dances orderly. Once he stumbled and fell, but the brothers around him picked him up and kept him in the flow of the dancers.

  They would have done the same for Ethan. They would have carried him forward. Their strengths would suffice for his weaknesses. Yet he had pulled away. A fact noted by Brother Martin if the frown that darkened his face when he looked Ethan's way was any indication. If only Brother Issachar could once more be beside Ethan on the benches. If only he could tell him what to do. Then had he not already told him what to do in his last words before he died? Follow your heart. But the stones of sorrow were crushing his heart.

  When at last the exercises ended and the brothers and sisters began filing out of their proper doors to retire for the evening, Ethan was relieved. It had been a long day with the fire keeping many of them out of their beds for much of the night. Rest would be a gift. Elder Joseph said as much when he bid them goodnight.

  Ethan knelt by his bed to say his nightly prayers, but he found no proper petitions in his head. No "guide these hands to do thy work." No "bless our society." No pleas for love from Mother Ann. No requests for gifts to use for his brethren and sisters. There was only Elizabeth. And so, although Brother Martin would surely say he was compounding his sin, Ethan's silent prayers were for her safety.

  But his heart had no confidence in his prayers, and even after exhausted sleep finally overtook him, he found no rest. In his dreams he was running. At first he seemed to be chasing after someone, but then he was being pursued. He saw the flash of Hawk Boyd's knife in the darkness that pressed in on him. Then there was Brother Martin frowning, shaking his head, turning his back, refusing to help Ethan escape the knife. Ethan stumbled over something. Brother Issachar lay dead at his feet. And far ahead, he heard Elizabeth scream. He could not help her. He could never run so far in time. Not with the way he was having to push his legs forward as if running through a river of molasses. It was pulling him down into it until, like a fly caught in a spider's web, he could no longer move.

  He jerked awake and stared at the darkness pushing down on him. Clouds must be over the moon, as scant light came through the windows. That was how it would be for Brother Issachar in his grave, but no. Brother Issachar would have stepped over into heaven. He would be in the glorious light. With his Eva.

  At the rising bell, Ethan went to his duty. There had always been a certain comfort in the sameness of his life. He knew what was expected. He knew what was to come. He had not only accepted that, he'd sought that smooth ride through life. Like floating down a serene lake. He had run from the tosses and turns of a stormy river. Then the world had come to him, had found him in spite of his Shaker clothes and promises, had stolen Brother Issachar from him, had pushed Elizabeth into his path. Had dumped him into the river of life where now he must decide which shore to swim toward.

  He worked through the day with few spoken words. There was no need for conversation. The carpenters were busy shaping their chairs and chests. He swept up their sawdust and carved leavings awkwardly with his one good hand and helped to sand smooth some of the pieces. Brother Payton was putting together a chair, but though he ran his hands over the spindles lovingly, he looked as if he had slept as poorly as Ethan.

  It wasn't until late in the afternoon when it was almost time for the evening meal that Brother Payton came out of the Carpenters' Shop to where Ethan was straightening some lumber that lay ready for the morrow's work. Logs not yet split into planks lay to the side, and Ethan easily picked out the last log he had helped Brother Issachar bring into the village before they left for New Orleans. The brethren had left it through the winter for Brother Issachar, who envisioned a beautiful oaken desk for the Ministry. Now the promise of that log would have to be wrought by another workman.

  Payton nodded toward the oak log. "That is Brother Issachar's log. None of the brethren want to cut into it:"

  "He would want it used," Ethan said.

  "Yea, Brother Micah says the same, but he says we can wait until the sorrow is not so sharp" Payton's eyes lifted to Ethan's face. "You could make something from it:"

  "I'm not a gifted craftsman. I can only do simple pieces. A holding box or a bench. It would be better if the log became the desk Brother Issachar planned it to be:"

  "I love working with the wood"

  "Yea, Brother Issachar told me you have a gift for the wood last fall when he worked with you in the Carpenters' Shop. He said your first chair showed promise'

  The young Shaker's cheeks turned red with pleasure. "I would that I could work with the wood all the time, but I know I have to take my turns with the other duties'

  'A Believer has many duties," Ethan said.

  "I'm learning that is so" Payton looked over his shoulder and around nervously as if he feared they were being watched. He lowered his voice. "I also feel bound by duty to my sisters of the world who left us yesterday'

  "They made their choice"

  "For evil, many are saying in my ear this day, but Elizabeth and Hannah have no evil in their hearts:" Payton stared at Ethan's face a moment before going on. "If they did any wrong, caused any problems, it was not with wrong intent:"

  "Why do you tell me this?" Ethan asked. "I have said aught against them:"

  "Because she gave me a message for you before she left. And she was always a faithful sister who loved me without exception. Our mother died when I was twelve:"

  Ethan shut his eyes. He wanted to walk away from this brother. He didn't want to be opened up to more pain. At the same time he longed to have Elizabeth's words in his ears. He opened his eyes and stared at the brother in front of him. He was so young with the same eagerness for the Shaker way that Ethan had known at his age.

  "What is it?" Ethan forced out the question.

  Again Payton glanced around. He knew eyes might be watching and ears listening. "She asked me to tell you that she hoped your pathway here was free of stones to cause you to stumble and that she was sorry if she was such a stumbling block in your path"

  "She wasn't the stumbling block in my path. My own worldly desires were stones enough to trip me"

  Payton lo
oked uncomfortable. "Well, she wanted me to tell you:"

  "Where did they go? Do you know?"

  "I cannot say for a certainty. She spoke of going to Colton Linley." Payton looked stricken at the thought. "Sister Lettie said she spoke the same to her. I begged her not to:"

  "Colton Linley?" Ethan felt ice cold at the thought of Elizabeth with another man. That had not been in his mind. He had thought to push her aside. He had worried that she might not have shelter. He had not thought of her with another. That changed everything.

  "Our neighbor in the world. He has long claimed Elizabeth must be his wife, but she could never bear the thought of it. That's why we came to Harmony Hill. To escape Colton. That is why I burned our cabin with so little guilt to keep our things from his hands" Payton looked down at the ground. "I know that was wrong now"

  Ethan didn't care about the burned cabin. He didn't care about anything at that moment except Elizabeth. "You mean that man who tried to carry Elizabeth from here only days ago?"

  "Yea, the very one. He's a hard man who thinks only of his own wants and needs. Elizabeth's life will be misery with him:" Payton looked up, his eyes awash with tears. "I should have gone with them. Brother Micah said I shouldn't. That I risked eternal damnation if I did, but they are my sisters. So I prayed before they left and I thought I had an answer. Aristotle:"

  Ethan frowned and shook his head a bit to try to make sense of Payton's words. "Aristotle?"

  "Our dog"

  "I remember. The one we gave the storekeeper."

  "Yea. I told Elizabeth to look for him. That you had once spoken of the man's kindness in taking the dog when I was worried about Aristotle after we came to the village. I thought perhaps she might even marry him'

  "He was old. Older even than Brother Issachar."

  "But kind, you said. Anything would be better than her going to Colton. I only had to look into her eyes when she spoke of him to know that. And to remember the way he attacked her in our own father's grave before we came here. I should have gone and gotten my father's gun that day."

  `A Shaker does not use such carnal weapons:' Ethan thought of Hawk Boyd, who had stabbed Brother Issachar with no compunction. Even if Ethan had been forewarned, he wouldn't have known how to stop it from happening any more than he knew how to stop Colton Linley from hurting Elizabeth. "We are men of peace" His words were a plea to the Eternal Father to show him a way.

  "I wasn't a Shaker then. Perhaps I should not be now."

  "Nay. You should follow your heart as Elizabeth did:"

  He heard the echo of Brother Issachar's words in his own heart as the bell began ringing to summon the brethren and sisters from their work duties to their evening meals, each in their own houses. From long habit, Ethan turned at the sound and began walking along the way to the Centre Family House even though his thoughts were in turmoil.

  Payton fell in beside him. "She doesn't follow her heart to Colton"

  "You are right. It is her love for others that has made her set her feet on that path. For you. For the little sister" Ethan hesitated. "For me"

  "The love of a sister," Payton said.

  "For you. Not for me:"

  Payton stared over at him. "What are you going to do?"

  "What I have to do, the same as Elizabeth:" Ethan looked off down the road that led out of the village. He couldn't stay in the middle of the river. He had to swim through the waters, no matter how rough, toward one of the shores.

  A man who had been checking his saddle girths beside the road up ahead of them suddenly mounted up and rode straight toward them. Ethan and Payton jumped for the grass beside the pathway, but the man came after them. He reined in his horse with inches to spare. "Payton Duncan," he said. "I have been waiting for you"

  It was Colton Linley. The man Payton had feared Elizabeth was going to. Ethan could not bear the thought of this man touching her. Ever.

  "Where is she?" the man demanded. "I've been watching all day. Where have these crazy people hidden her?"

  Ethan stepped in front of Payton. "You have no business here. Be on your way." His voice shook, not from fear but anger.

  "I remember you" Linley leaned down from his horse toward Ethan. "You're the one that kept me from taking her last time I was here, but nobody is going to stop me next time. The woman is mine and I take what is mine. So tell me where she is or I'll burn this whole place down one building at a time"

  "You're the one who has been setting the fires?" Payton stared up at the man with big eyes.

  "An eye for an eye. You people believe that, don't you? You burned mine. I'll burn theirs:" He let his horse prance a couple of steps closer to them. "Now I want to know where she is or some people are going to be very sorry. Starting with you two"

  "I don't know where she is;' Payton said as he backed up a couple of steps.

  Ethan stood his ground. The man's horse was so close that if the horse tossed its head, it would likely hit Ethan and knock him to the side. He looked into the horse's eye and saw the animal's panic. Ethan made a soft sound with his tongue. A horse knew when a man meant to treat it kindly. It wasn't Ethan the horse feared but the man on its back. Ethan looked at the bit pulling back against its mouth and saw flecks of blood. The Shakers would never use such a cruel bit.

  "What goes on here?" Brother Micah spoke behind them.

  Ethan kept his focus on the horse, but out of the corner of his eyes he saw other brothers coming toward them. The horse skittered to the side away from Ethan.

  The man on the horse turned his attention to the new arrivals as he said, "I have come for this boy's sister. She is to be my wife"

  "If you speak of our former sister, Elizabeth, we know not where she is. She left our village yesterday," Brother Micah said.

  The news seemed to surprise the man and throw him off balance.

  Ethan spoke up. "This man admits to setting the fires we've suffered"

  Brother Micah glanced at Ethan and then narrowed his eyes on the man on the horse. "Is that true?"

  "His word against mine;' Linley said even as he gathered his reins to turn his horse away from them.

  `And mine;' Payton said.

  The man stared down at Payton. "Who would believe a boy who has the smell of smoke on him?"

  "Our brothers do not lie. If you ever come into our village again, we will have you arrested;' Brother Micah said.

  A worried look flashed across Linley's face, but then he laughed and pulled his horse sharply back from the men gathered there behind Ethan and Payton. "It's good to know you don't lie. That means the woman I seek will be in the town. No doubt seeking me. I told her she would come to me"

  Ethan forgot the brothers around him. "She will never come to you:"

  The man looked straight at Ethan. "Oh, but she will. One way or another. I've done plenty to make sure of that and no pretty boy like you can stop me. Best stay here and keep dancing:" He laughed again as he wheeled his horse around and galloped away.

  "We've surely seen the last of him and good riddance,' Brother Micah said. "Now our supper awaits. Come, brethren, we must not tarry."

  Ethan looked at the men around him. He no longer belonged with them. He was Hawk Boyd's son. He wanted to kill the man on the horse. He was no longer a man of peace. "I must go to her," he said.

  "Nay, my brother, your place is with us:" Brother Micah looked truly distressed.

  "It was, but no more:" He stepped away from them.

  Brother Micah didn't give up. "Think of what Brother Martin would tell you. You are a Believer. Do not risk eternal damnation for the carnal lust of a woman:"

  Ethan didn't turn, but kept walking away through the dust the horse's hooves had stirred up on the road. Behind him, he heard them begin stomping and crying, "Woe:" He didn't hear Payton's young voice among them.

  Even so, the sound mashed down on his heart. He knew not what he would do without his brothers, but he could not turn around. He'd made his decision. He was swimming through the rough
waters toward Elizabeth. Pray that he would be in time. Pray that the Eternal Father would still hear his supplications even if the seed of Hawk Boyd was flowering within him.

  He had no horse. No weapon. No idea of what he could do to stop the man, but he kept walking toward the town even after darkness fell. He did have one thing the man did not. He knew where Elizabeth was. The storekeeper might help them, and there would be a sheriff in the town.

  So he prayed as he walked that he would reach her first. And even though he was walking away from what he had been taught to believe by Brother Martin and the elders, he didn't feel deserted by the Lord. His mind went back to Preacher Joe, who had always walked hand in hand with the Lord. He hadn't been a Shaker, but he had believed. He had taught Ethan Scripture. And, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.

  It was after midnight when he reached the town. He took shelter in a stable to wait for the morning light. The man's horse was there, put into a stall without the proper care. Ethan laid his hand on the horse's nose and spoke into his ear. Then he rubbed him down before he led him to the water trough. The horse had no part of the evil of his owner.

  Mr. Wiley kept insisting they call him Uncle Felix, and by the end of the first day under his roof, the name rolled off Elizabeth's tongue as if he actually was their uncle. Elizabeth and Hannah cleaned and straightened the back living quarters all through the day. She wasn't exactly hiding from the eyes of Uncle Felix's customers, but at the same time she couldn't keep from worrying what Colton might do when he found out they were there.

  Felix assured her she had no reason to fear. That he'd been running the store in the town for many years, and in that time had dealt with more than a few reprobates. His cousin, the sheriff, was right down the street at the courthouse, and he was the kind of sheriff who knew what was going on in his town.