Before I Let You Go

by Angie Daniels

  “Now I think we’re getting somewhere,” Jaden stated as he slid over on the bench.

  After bowling a seven, Jabarie returned to his seat. “Man, take it from me. If you want her, then don’t let anything stand in the way.”

  Diamere met Jabarie’s intense look and knew that he was talking from personal experience. He had lost Brenna when his meddling parents tried to intervene. Their interference cost the couple five years of misery before they finally found each other again.

  “I agree,” Jaden added. “You know I almost lost Danica because of something that was said. Take it from me, it’s not worth it.”

  Diamere dragged a hand across his face. He had been in denial for the past few weeks but couldn’t lie to himself any longer. He hadn’t seen Kelly in three days and he had a deep pain inside that only she could mend. He had to come to terms with what had happened. And he was now ready to admit that he loved her. There was no way he could keep playing this game. His cousins were right—it was time for him to go get his woman.

  Chapter 19

  This is just what I needed, Kelly thought as she stood on the sunporch where she had spent so much of her life, staring out at the lake in front of her. A satisfied smile softened her mouth. Her grandparents’ cottage was located in a secluded wooded section of Rehoboth Beach, on a cul-de-sac with four other houses. The stretch of private lake was shared only by the homes that surrounded it. At one time the water used to be stocked with fish, but her grandfather said it hadn’t been that way in over a decade.

  For as long as she could remember, Kelly had spent all her summers here—the times when she left the world of reality behind to enter one of sheer fantasy. And fantasy was what it was going to take to get her to stop thinking about Diamere.

  She took a seat on a padded patio lounge chair and picked up a book that had been highly recommended by Essence. But after an hour of comparing the hero in the story to Diamere, Kelly groaned and tossed the book aside. Staring out at the lake again, she felt a tidal wave of emotion wash over her. She was definitely in love, and not being with Diamere, not being able to see his handsome face, caused a painful ache inside. She was beginning to think that maybe she had simply been in love with the idea of being in love. Had to be. She had gotten over Devin way too easily. None of his gifts or begging her to take him back had swayed her decision to end their relationship. Yet with Diamere it was different, she thought as she brought her iced tea to her lips and tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. Losing Diamere, she felt as if she had also lost a part of herself.

  She rose from the chair and wandered to the other end of the deck, leaning against the railing. They’d had an understanding. A no-strings-attached relationship. Neither of them wanted a commitment. Or did they? Her breath stilled as she considered the question carefully. Being his wife…Giving birth to his children…Her heart skipped a beat just thinking about being Mrs. Diamere Redmond. Mother and wife. Children with his smooth chocolate skin and her large cinnamon eyes…Unconsciously, she placed her hand over her stomach. Was there any chance that maybe—

  Realizing she was being ridiculous, she pushed that thought aside, as well. What they had was a short, end-of-summer fling that was now over. No matter how desperately she wanted him.

  She closed her eyes again and willed away thoughts of him. School was starting next week and she was going to be too busy meeting her darling little students and teaching them how to count and read to have time for a relationship. Yep. It was a good thing their fling had run its course and was finally over.

  The sun had begun to beat down on her face. Feeling sticky, Kelly slid open the patio door and stepped into the house, where she was met by a gust of cool air. Her damp shirt turned cold, and immediately she began to shiver. Kelly moved to her room and pulled a T-shirt from a drawer just as her cell phone beeped, indicating a missed call. Picking it up, she checked first to see who had called. Essence. Five times.

  She hit Talk and waited until her sister-in-law picked up on the other line.

  “Why haven’t you called us!” she barked by way of greeting.

  Kelly’s lips twitched with humor. “Sorry. I was wrapped up in the beauty of this place and forgot all about phoning.”

  “Well, your mother is worried sick.”

  She rolled her eyes dramatically. “My mother forgets I am a grown woman.”

  “You’re not that grown,” Essence replied with a snort. “And you know, regardless of how old you get, you’ll always be your mother’s baby.”

  She chuckled and held the phone to her ear with one hand while she pulled her shirt over her head with the other. “You’re definitely right about that. I’ll give her a call later to let her know I’m okay.”

  “You better.” There was a slight pause. “Somebody’s been asking about you.”

  Her head rose. “Who?”

  “You know who.”

  Kelly knew but she needed to hear Essence say it.

  “Come on, Kelly, you know it’s Diamere.”

  She clicked her tongue. “What’s he want?”

  “He came over here last night, and he and Mark were in the living room for a long time, talking. I tried to eavesdrop, but as soon as I stepped through the door they both stopped talking. But I know they were talking about you.”

  Kelly snorted through the phone. “They could have been talking about baseball.”

  “Nope. Because as I was going to the kitchen, Diamere stopped me and asked if you had made it safely. I told him you did, but I wouldn’t know since you hadn’t bothered to call anyone.”

  Kelly smiled at the thought that Diamere had been asking about her. Still, she needed to stay focused. “I hope you didn’t tell him where to find me.”

  “Of course not. I know you need your space. But that’s not to say Mark didn’t run his mouth. There’s no telling.”

  Oh, brother. The last thing she needed was for Mark to give away her hiding place. “I hope he didn’t.”

  “Diamere looked really sad that you were no longer here.”

  She gave a weak laugh as she lowered herself onto the bed. “Oh, please. It’s not like he’ll never see me again.”

  “No, but he looked like he knew what the two of you had was over.”

  “It is over between us. Diamere isn’t interested in anything other than a fling. Well, I ain’t the one.”

  There was a pause. “But I thought that was what you wanted.”

  Kelly released a heavy sigh. “It was, or at least that’s what I thought I wanted. But once I started seeing Diamere, I realized I wanted something more.” She wanted everything love had to offer. The house with the white picket fence and the two-plus kids. She was even willing to give up her Saturn for a family minivan.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Kelly groaned. “Even if I say no you’re gonna ask me anyway.”

  “True.” Essence chuckled, then immediately sobered. “Do you love him?”

  “Yes,” she said breathlessly. “I never stopped loving him.” She had finally come to terms with it. Diamere had always held her heart.

  “Have you told him?”

  “Are you crazy? Hell no.”

  “Well, why not?” her sister-in-law said, as if the solution was simple.

  “Diamere made it clear that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, so what would I look like, telling him I loved him?”

  “You might find out he feels the same way.”

  Her breathing stalled. “Does he?”

  “I don’t know. That’s something you need to find out for yourself. You owe it to yourself.”

  Kelly flopped back on the bed. “Listen, I already put my heart on the line once. There is no way I’m setting myself up for another letdown. If Diamere wants me for more than a quick romp in the sack, then he needs to let me know. Otherwise the relationship is over.”

  Essence released a heavy sigh in her ear. “I don’t know who’s more stubborn, you or Mark.”

&
nbsp; Kelly chuckled. “I think I’ve got him beat.”

  “I’m beginning to agree.”

  They chatted for a while longer, then said their goodbyes. Moving down to the kitchen, Kelly thought about what Essence had said. There was no way she would ever tell Diamere she loved him. What they had was over and the sooner her heart realized that the better.

  Chapter 20

  After dinner, Kelly sat out on the deck reading again. The temperature had cooled off considerably and she appreciated the breeze. The weatherman called for heavy rain in the morning and the rest of the week. Kelly frowned. It was just what she needed to darken her mood.

  She glanced into the pale water, which gleamed invitingly, its promise of coolness irresistible to her heated flesh. A swim might help her get to sleep tonight, she thought. And if it was expected to rain for the duration of her visit, this evening might be her last chance.

  Rising, she went inside and changed into a pink-and-white bathing suit. She slid her feet into a pair of white flip-flops and went into the bathroom to retrieve a towel. Within minutes she was at the dock, where her grandfather kept a small boat. Kelly lowered her towel onto the wood planks and waded into the lake. Once clear of the edges, which were choked with weeds, she swam for about a hundred yards. The water was cool and invigorating. When she reached the center of the lake, Kelly turned over and floated on her back and closed her eyes. Immediately, images of Diamere danced before her and her body ached for his touch. She missed him. There was no denying it. He had made her feel alive and every bit a woman. In such a short time he had showed her how wrong she had been. There was still love in her heart and a part of her was still willing to give it another chance, with the hope of eventually finding the man she would one day spend the rest of her life with. How ironic that she’d found that in the one man she couldn’t have.

  Tears stung the corners of her eyes, rolled down her cheeks and into the lake. Getting over Diamere was not going to be easy; she could see that now. She also knew she had made the right choice by ending their relationship the way she had. She was in too deep and any further involvement would have done nothing but intensify the heartache.

  She wasn’t sure how long she lay there thinking about him and the time they’d spent together, before she heard a bird crying overhead.

  Brushing Diamere from her mind, Kelly flipped over onto her stomach and swam several feet before she stopped for a brief rest and noticed that clouds had accumulated. The sky had grown strangely gray. She had swum at night many times growing up. When her grandparents weren’t paying attention, she would sneak out of her room for a swim. It was her time alone, without her brother underfoot. A time for her own private thoughts. However, this evening the silence seemed unusually eerie, making her feel apprehensive. She glanced around and noticed none of the neighbors were sitting out on their decks. Everything was quiet, except for the wind, which had begun to pick up speed. Feeling increasingly uneasy, Kelly started swimming back toward the dock. A moment later she knew she had made the right choice when the skies were suddenly split by a bright flash of lightning.

  A storm. She had never been out in the lake during a storm before. Whenever one struck at the cottage she always had fun curling up under the covers between her grandparents, holding a small flashlight. But she wasn’t in her grandparents’ bed. She was out in the middle of the lake. Suddenly frightened, she swam faster, while rumbles of thunder increased as the storm drew nearer. The sky lit up as another flash of lightning danced over the water, making her conscious of her own safety.

  Kelly was close to the pier when thunder clapped loudly as a tree was struck by a bolt of lightning. It was a large oak and it came down with a crash. Kelly saw it falling, but she was too much in shock to move. At the last moment she swam to the side and the tree missed her, but the waves from it engulfed her, nearly drowning her as they swept her under. Half blinded by fear, she didn’t see the man cutting through the water in her direction with swift, powerful strokes.

  Spluttering wildly, Kelly tried to fight her way back to the surface, but the waves were too much for her. Her arms and legs hurt and she was suddenly so tired she gasped for breath. She must have lost consciousness and started to dream, because she felt arms around her, lifting her out of the water. It took her a few seconds to realize that the face she saw and the voice she heard belonged to Diamere.

  “Kelly, quit fighting me! I got you. Just hold still!”

  His tone was raspy, almost as much so as his breathing. Realizing he had her safe, Kelly quit flailing and allowed him to carry her. She knew if she didn’t they would both drown. Holding on to her, he swam to the shore and lifted her from the water. Clinging to him, she choked helplessly as she tried to clear her lungs. When Diamere reached the pier, he stretched her out on the wooden planks. She lay there coughing and spitting up water as her heart pounded.

  Diamere climbed out of the water. Immediately, he cradled her in his arms and gazed down at her. Fear and concern burned in his eyes. “Baby, are you okay?”

  She was glad he was here. If he hadn’t come when he had, there was no telling what might have happened. “Yes, I’m okay,” she managed to say after clearing her lungs some more. The rain beat heavily on her face and skin, yet the feeling was refreshing considering what had just happened to her. Diamere stroked her shoulder as he tried to bring his own breathing under control. “What in the world were you thinking, swimming on a night like this?”

  “It wasn’t raining when I set out,” she gasped, then coughed some more.

  Diamere lifted her into his arms and she rested her cheek against his chest as he carried her away from the lake and up the path toward the cottage. She didn’t know how he knew which house belonged to her grandparents or what he was doing here, but right now she was too exhausted to care. She was just glad he was here. Closing her eyes, she tightened her hold around his neck while the rain continued to fall.

  Diamere carried her through the door and into the bedroom, where he sat her down on the bed, helping her out of her bathing suit. Kelly was too tired to object. Her arms were so heavy she could barely lift them. As soon as she was completely undressed, he reached for her grandmother’s handmade quilt and wrapped it around Kelly’s shivering body, then assisted her to lie down on the bed.

  “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  At his instruction, she waited as he went out through the door and down the hall. Within seconds she heard water pouring into the tub.

  Rain was still beating heavily on the roof and lightning flashed outside of the bedroom window. Kelly began to shiver uncontrollably, not because she was cold but because she was scared. What in the world had she been thinking, going swimming when a thunderstorm was coming? If her family ever found out, she would never hear the end of it. She would have to swear Diamere to secrecy.

  Kelly was too exhausted to think straight, but she was almost certain the sky was only slightly overcast when she had first headed out. The meteorologist had predicted rain wasn’t due until late evening. So what happened? She took a deep breath. It wouldn’t be the first time a weatherman was wrong. Forecasting was more like fortune-telling.

  Closing her eyes, she relaxed on the bed. If Diamere hadn’t arrived just then, there was no telling what might have happened.

  Nope, she wasn’t going to go there. She pushed the thought aside and thanked the Lord for delivering her through an incident that could have been tragic.

  She’d started to drift off to sleep when she felt someone tapping her on the arm. “Kelly, wake up.”

  Slowly, she raised her eyelids and groaned. “No. Let me sleep, please.”

  “Not until I’m sure you’re okay. Look at you. You’re still shivering.” He tossed back the blanket and lifted her out of the bed as if she were a small child, then carried her down the hall to the bathroom.

  With stubborn pride, Kelly pushed against his chest. “Diamere, I c-c-can walk!” she cried, teeth chattering.

  “
Hush, Kelly. I need to get you warm,” he commanded gently, with enough deep tones in his voice that she knew it wasn’t up for discussion. Once he stepped into the bathroom he lowered her gently into the tub of warm water. Any further protest evaporated instantly. “Lie back and relax,” he said as he took a seat on the floor next to the tub.

  Kelly gave him a curious glance. “Are you going to sit there and watch me?”

  His mouth quirked. “I’ve already seen you naked.”

  She blushed and looked down, realizing she was completely exposed. “Just because you’ve seen me doesn’t mean I want an audience.”

  “I’ll stay just long enough to know you’re okay.”

  After a couple of seconds, she gave him a nonchalant shrug. “Suit yourself.”

  Ignoring him, she leaned back and slid beneath the water. Within minutes her body temperature rose and she started to feel herself relaxing. Closing her eyes, she released a heavy sigh.

  “Sounds like you’re feeling better already.”

  She opened her eyes and gave him a sidelong look. “I am, thanks.”

  He smiled and appeared pleased that she was going to be okay. “How about some tea?”

  Her eyelids fluttered open long enough for her to look up at him. Did he really care that much? “Tea sounds wonderful.” Her eyes traveled the length of his wet body. “You might want to check the room across the hall. Mark should have something dry you can put on.”

  Nodding, Diamere rose from the floor and headed down the hall in search of the kitchen. As Kelly closed her eyes, a thought suddenly came to her mind. What in the world was he doing here?

  Diamere went into the kitchen and combed the cabinets until he found the tea bags and a large blue mug. Moving to the sink, he filled the mug to the rim with water, then walked over to the utility cart near the window and popped the microwave open, setting the mug inside. While he waited for the water to heat, he paced around the room, trying to keep his emotions under control.