I stopped walking and tugged on his hand to stop him in his tracks. “Why do you say that? I haven’t met your father, and I know what others have said, but when I look at you, I only see how you’ve treated me.”
He closed his eyes for a second. “In school, I was a bully, and I ostracized plenty of kids. When I grew older, I liked that I had money—knew exactly how to throw around my power to get my way. If anyone crossed me, I made their lives miserable, just like my ol’ man made mine unbearable.” He glanced at me, eyes bleak. “You know, they almost put me in foster care.”
“What happened?”
“When my dad took me to the hospital for the broken arm, the doctor didn’t believe my story. He called CPS.”
“And they didn’t take you?”
He shook his head. “The social worker was about to detain me, but Dad called someone higher up and he took care of it—told the social worker to let it go. Said he would personally handle it, but he never did.” He blew out a breath. “I wasn’t completely honest with you that day we talked about our parents. I mentioned my dad kicked out my mom because she had a drug problem.” He ran a hand through his hair and pressed his lips together. “Truth is, she left on her own volition. When I turned eighteen, I had my investigator find her, and I don’t know what I thought—guess a part of me thought once we found each other, she’d want a relationship with me. But when I called her, it was clear she didn’t.” He continued to stare at the sand as we walked. “It nearly devastated me, Aria, and I almost ended my life. If my own mother couldn’t love me . . .”
Tears sprung to my eyes. “Oh, Lucas, I’m so sorry. The adults in your life failed you. They should have protected you. They should have been there for you.”
He reached over and wiped the tears falling down my face. “Please don’t cry for me. I’m not worth these tears.”
His statement only made me cry more. How could he feel he wasn’t worth it? We’d lived very different lives, and I’d gone through some rough moments in foster care, but at least I had memories of the way my dad loved me, and I’d never doubted his love. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a home where love didn’t exist at all. “Lucas, don’t say that. You are worth it. I’m crying because I care. My tears prove that you are worth it.”
His expression reflected an inner battle, and, for a second, I thought he might turn and walk away. But then he drew me into his arms, and we stood like that for a long while, just holding each other. I felt his tears on my neck, but by the time he pulled back, his face was emotionless and stoic again, and I could tell he was already pushing the feelings back down.
“Let’s talk about something else,” he said. “I didn’t mean for the conversation to get this heavy.”
I put my hand on his arm. “I want you to know that I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about it again.”
He inhaled a shaky breath, and his chest rose with the motion. “Thanks.” He nodded in the direction of an outdoor beach restaurant at the border of the street and the sand. “You want to step in and get a drink?”
“Sure.”
Lucas kept a fair bit of distance from me as we walked towards the restaurant. I felt this tug to reach out to him and touch him—to try to ease the sadness that rolled off him, but I knew only God could heal that broken part of him. As much as I longed to be there for him, I had to pull back a little as well, or my heart would become so entangled, I wouldn’t know how to extricate myself.
As we neared the restaurant, I noticed a sign that said: The Beach Cabana Club, and it looked like an enormous hut with tiki torches and live music. It had an indoor-outdoor feel as the front wall where customers entered was basically non-existent. The music grew louder the closer we got, and a bunch of people danced and mingled near the center where a bar had been set up. I’d never been one to get involved in the bar scene, and I decided I wouldn’t have any alcohol.
A hostess seated us, and we both ordered drinks: a Shirley Temple with extra cherries for me and an ice tea for Lucas. I was surprised Lucas didn’t get something with alcohol, but I remembered him saying his father used to drink before beating him, so it made sense that he abstained. We watched the sunset for a while and didn’t say much. We’d already spilled our guts, and it was nice to sit quietly and not feel the need to talk. It felt comfortable—not awkward at all.
I found myself looking at the people dancing in the center of the restaurant, and it seemed like they were having a good time. This one couple was really goofy, and they kept pulling a lot of dorky eighties moves. I put a hand over my mouth to contain my laughter.
Lucas still appeared lost in thought, like something was bothering him, but I felt his eyes on me while I watched the couple.
He smiled faintly. “Want to dance?”
My jaw dropped open. “You dance?” I hadn’t expected that. He seemed so reserved at times, I couldn’t picture it.
He shrugged. “A little. What about you?”
I loved dancing, but it was something I usually did in the confines of my own room. Maybe I was a bit sheltered in some ways because of the strict rules in foster care, but I had never danced in front of others. Still, I wasn’t self-conscious about it, and the music beckoned to me. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Lucas took my hand, and we walked out to the dance floor, already moving to the beat. The song, Don’t Worry, Be Happy was playing, and it was so uplifting, both of us couldn’t help but relax and enjoy the moment.
Women stared at Lucas as we joined the scene, and I had to hide a smile because it was obvious he was being ogled by half the restaurant, but he didn’t seem to notice or even care.
He was a much better dancer than he’d let on, and if I had known ahead of time how good he was, I might have declined and stayed in my seat. I looked like an idiot next to him. He had rhythm and moved to the music like it was second nature. Me, on the other hand? I was a bit like that goofy couple doing eighties moves. Not that I did eighties moves, but my dancing was hardly anything to brag about. Still, it was all about having fun, so I didn’t allow my inner critic to surface, and I let loose and was just myself.
At one point, Lucas twirled me around and around, and I was so lost in our laughter and the spinning room and the carefree environment that I never wanted it to end. When the song concluded, a slow one took its place.
For a second, we both stood there, unsure if we should go back to our seats or continue dancing. Lucas made that decision for the both of us by tugging me in closer. I put one hand on his shoulder, and he took my other hand in his. His eyes bored into mine for a fleeting moment, but it was enough to send chills down my spine and a shot of adrenaline surged straight to my stomach. Speaking of my stomach, the butterflies did a few of their own dance moves as if to let me know they were still alive and kicking.
We’d hugged earlier, so it wasn’t as if we hadn’t been this close before, but the music, the mood, it started doing things to me. A longing to be closer to him, to hold a special place in his life swept over me.
Being only friends didn’t feel enough anymore.
The realization sent a panicky sensation through my chest, and my breath shuddered. A lightheaded sensation came over me. Maybe it was from spinning and twirling earlier, or maybe my emotions were getting the best of me. We were only halfway through the song, and I had to get away. I couldn’t do this anymore.
It felt as though my feelings would envelop me, consume me in a flame of fire until there was nothing left but ash. I pulled back. “I . . . I have to use the restroom.”
One corner of his mouth edged up. “Now?”
“Yes. Now.”
He snickered. “You better hurry up then.”
I took off in the direction of the restrooms, my heart pounding so hard it hurt. Once I was in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face, and then went into a stall and sat down. I ducked my head between my legs so the blood would flow back and the dizziness would go away.
Lord, help me. I don’t want
to cross the line. Maybe I already have, but I don’t want to do anything that will dishonor You. Help me to go back out there and be the friend that Lucas needs and not focus on my own feelings. Help him to turn to You for salvation. Heal his heart and show him Your love.
I walked out of the restroom feeling calmer and more at peace. Allowing my emotions to go wild probably hadn’t been the best idea, but it happened, so now it was time to reign myself in and maintain control.
A man in a black tank top approached me. “Excuse me, do you have the time?” His head was shaved on both sides with thick hair going down the middle—basically, a mohawk hairstyle that didn’t stick straight up.
“I’m sorry, I don’t.”
He put a hand at his chin. “Do I know you?”
“No, we’ve never met.”
“I thought I saw you at the zip line tour.”
“Oh, maybe we were at the same one, but I don’t remember seeing you.”
He shook his head slowly as if considering. “I’m pretty sure I saw you. Your long black hair stands out.” He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s gorgeous by the way.”
“Thank you.” I started to leave, but he placed a hand on my arm.
“You are one gorgeous lady. Are you here with anyone?”
He was starting to make me uncomfortable. “I’m here with my friend. I should probably get back to him.”
“Oh, he’s just a friend?”
It felt like a trick question, and if the answer was “yes” then he would never go away. “It was nice chatting with you, but I have to go.”
I started to leave again, but this time he grabbed my wrist and wouldn’t release it. “Have a drink with me, sweetness.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help but notice how yellow his teeth were. That explained the stale breath assaulting my nose.
“No, thank you. Please let me pass.”
The humor disappeared from his eyes. “Not until you and I have a drink.”
Chapter 21
Lucas
Aria left in the middle of the song.
She’d given some excuse about needing to use the restroom, but I knew it was more than that. There was a connection between us, and it was growing stronger and stronger each day. She knew what my intentions were—I had to marry to keep my inheritance.
She’d also made it clear she couldn’t be with me.
But dancing close like that—it felt like we were meant to be together. Like everything we’d experienced led up to this very moment. A moment that seemed so real—so evident. At least to me.
I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. With each passing day, I was falling for her a little more. I’d known from the first day we arrived in Kauai I needed to keep my distance, yet I hadn’t been able to do it.
This was bad—it wouldn’t end well for either of us.
Maybe I should cut the trip short. Another week of this would be unbearable. I already felt like I didn’t want to let her go, and it was only going to make what I had to do harder. There was no question I had to do it. If I didn’t abide by my father’s wishes, I’d lose everything.
But how was I supposed to court the next woman when my heart had slowly been given over to Aria piece-by-piece?
I headed over to our table to wait for her, and after a few minutes, I noticed her standing by the restroom door, talking to some guy. The predatory look on his face made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
He put a hand on her arm, and she said something to him and tried to walk by, but then he grabbed her wrist and held her there.
Without thinking, I stood out of my chair so fast it scuffed on the ground and hit the empty table behind. I didn’t bother to look back but strode towards Aria. I didn’t know what I planned on doing, but if I had to fight the guy, I’d do it. He needed to take his hands off her.
Just as I reached them he said, “Come on, baby, give me a chance.”
I put my arm around Aria’s shoulders and glared at him. “That’s my girlfriend you’re calling baby.”
Aria looked surprised, but she didn’t say anything.
“Remove your hands,” I said. “Now.”
He released his grip on her wrist and held both hands in the air. “Sorry, man. She said she was here with a friend. Thought she was fair game.”
“She’s not. She belongs to me.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Like a snake, he slithered off to the next woman on the other side of the room. What a slime-ball.
Once he left, I didn’t remove my arm. Claiming her like that made me want to touch her more. I contemplated backing her against the wall and kissing her until she pushed me away again, but I restrained myself because I’d be no better than that guy, and Aria deserved to be treated with more respect. It wouldn’t help anything, and, ultimately, I didn’t want to hurt her.
Maybe I already had.
It was what I did. I hurt people.
I exhaled and lifted my arm from around her. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Why did you tell him I was your girlfriend?”
“Because he needed to take his paws off you. I didn’t like it.”
“But I don’t belong to you. You lied—”
“What did you want me to do? I thought I just saved you from that creep.”
Her eyes teared up. “You did. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. But hearing you say I belonged to you . . . Lucas this is too much. I can’t go on like this.”
She ran out of the restaurant, and I let her go. It felt as though she took my heart with her, and I was left with a hollow cavity in my chest.
I’d warned her about me, but she’d wanted to believe the best. It was time to tell her the truth and stop going through the motions like everything would be okay.
Everything would not be okay.
I would marry someone I didn’t love, and Aria would go back to L.A. and forget all about me.
That was how this would end. To think differently would be a disservice to both of us.
I left the restaurant and found her a few paces away from the entrance, standing with her arms wrapped around her waist. She was staring out at the water, a wistful expression on her face.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
She didn’t look at me, but she knew I was there. “What is it?”
“Why don’t we walk back to the parking lot where we promised to meet Sam.”
She followed me, and my heart sped up as I contemplated what to say. There was no nice way to tell her what my father’s actions had done to her family, so I said nothing and kept my hands in my pockets as we walked along the beach.
She finally stopped walking. “Just tell me. What’s going on?”
I bit down on my bottom lip and stared at the sand. “The man who shut your father’s restaurant down—he was my father.”
Silence.
She stared at me with a stunned expression like she couldn’t believe what I’d said. The blood drained from her face, and her eyes blinked rapidly as if I’d just slapped her.
I swallowed. “I didn’t want to tell you, but you deserve to know the truth.”
“How long have you known?” Her voice sounded strangled like someone had wrapped their fingers around her throat, and she was gasping for breath. “How could you keep this from me?” Tears slid down her face so quickly they dripped on her neck.
“I found out a week ago. Pete Jensen uncovered the details when he was looking into Chase’s past for clues of his whereabouts. I wanted to tell you then, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I was afraid.”
“You told me you weren’t afraid of anything.”
“Looks like you just discovered my one weakness.”
“What’s that?”
I sighed. “You.”
Her face crumbled, and she put a hand over it, ducking her head. A sob escaped from her throat, and her shoulders shook the slightest bit.
“Aria, I’m so sorry.” I reached to give he
r a hug, but she pushed me away.
“I can’t Lucas. Give me time to process this.” She took a deep breath and calmed herself, but she still wouldn’t look at me.
I nodded. “All right, I understand.”
We walked back to the parking lot in silence, and I was relieved to see Sam had already arrived. If we’d had to wait for him, it would have been awkward and uncomfortable.
On the drive back home, all I could think about was the way her face had fallen and the tears that wet her cheeks. I’d done that to her. Somehow, I had to make it right.
***
The next morning, I sat at the kitchen island and ate cereal for breakfast. Aria was in another room vacuuming since she’d taken the cleaning job back after everything with Hillary blew up. I thought about how I’d attempted to speak with her the previous evening, and she’d told me she needed more time before she was ready to talk. I understood. I guess I hadn’t expected anything different, but it still stung.
I took a walk outside, and when I returned, Aria was vacuuming in the living room. She turned the vacuum off. “Lucas, can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure.”
She gestured for me to take a seat, and we both sat down on the couch. Pain was etched all over her face, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. Seeing her like this weighed on me. I wanted to be angry with my father, but instead, I just felt angry with myself for not telling her sooner.
“Aria, I . . .” I stumbled over my words, wanting to say more, but I wasn’t sure how to convey how sorry I was. Words didn’t seem adequate, and as much as I planned to do everything in my power to make things right, I could never take back what had already been done. I could never undo the damage.
“I’ve had time to think,” she said, looking down at her hands. “You completely took me off guard when you spoke with me yesterday. I thought I’d dealt with my feelings over the loss of my father and what happened with the restaurant. I thought I’d moved on. But when you told me your father was behind everything . . .” She met my gaze, eyes watery. “It crushed me. But Lucas, it wasn’t your fault, and I don’t hold you responsible.”
The Ruthless Billionaire: A Clean Billionaire Romance (California Elite) Page 16
