My shoulders sagged, and I let out a breath. Did I feel relief she wasn’t holding it against me?
No.
Her forgiveness was too freely given, and I didn’t deserve that.
“Don’t let me off the hook so easily. My family hurt yours—”
“Were you personally involved? Did you know what your father was doing at the time?”
I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t privy to that information.”
“Then why would I hold you responsible for something you didn’t do?”
My jaw went rigid. “Because I share his DNA. Maybe I wasn’t there to execute the deal, but it could have been me, had I been older. I’m not innocent. Don’t pretend that I am.”
“None of us are innocent, Lucas. The Bible says that we’ve all sinned, but Jesus offers forgiveness to those who believe in Him.”
“I’m not sure what He has to do with this conversation.”
“He has everything to do with this conversation. He’s the reason I can forgive what happened to my family. None of it happened outside of His notice, and He’s been with me every step of the way, guiding me, protecting me.” Tears slid down her cheeks, but she didn’t move to wipe them away. “My father is gone, and I will miss him until the day I die, but I know he would want me to show Christ’s love and forgiveness to others. That was the kind of man he was.”
“You have a remarkable faith. I wish I had what you have.”
She reached over to touch my arm. “You can, Lucas.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.” My phone rang, and I saw it was from Pete Jensen. “I have to take this. It could be about your brother.” I hit the answer button and held the phone to my ear. “Pete, what’s up?”
“Mr. Armstrong, I have good news. I found Aria’s brother.”
My heart soared until I realized I didn’t know exactly what he’d found. I considered taking the call in the other room, but keeping the information to myself wouldn’t be fair to Aria. If it had been Calista who had gone missing, I’d want to know the second information was available. “Hold on, Pete. Aria’s with me right now, so I’m going to put you on speaker.”
Aria’s eyes widened. “Did he find something?”
I nodded and slid closer to her so we could both hear. “Go ahead, Pete.”
“Hi, Aria,” Pete said. “I have some good news for you.”
She gasped. “You found him?” Her eyes lit up with joy, and she pressed her lips together as if trying to hold back more tears.
“Yes, he’s in a drug rehab facility in Los Angeles, and he’s supposed to get out in a few days.”
“Drugs?” Her face went pale. “Is he okay?”
“As far as I know. I wasn’t able to talk to him, but I have a contact who works in the Department of Mental Health, and she refers clients to rehab. She helped me locate him in the system as a favor. Obviously, due to HIPPA laws, I don’t know the details of his case or what kind of drugs he was on, but I do have the number of his therapist if you’d like to speak with her.”
“Yes, l need that number,” she said, voice rising. “I want to call her right away.”
I went in search of a notepad and brought it back. “Go ahead, Pete.”
He shared the number, and we wrote it down. Aria beamed, and her face lit with so much joy my heart expanded. The urge to pull her into another hug was so strong it took everything in me to resist.
I had to stop doing that . . . pulling her close . . . hugging her. Her reaction yesterday when I’d referred to her as my girlfriend and put my arm around her, claiming her as mine . . . It was clear she had feelings for me too. It wouldn’t be right to encourage that when nothing could come of it.
We said goodbye to Pete, and Aria called the therapist. She learned that Chase had been trying to locate her as well. The therapist, Camille Watson, hadn’t shared much. She stated she was bound by confidentiality, but she took Aria’s cell number and promised to let Chase know she’d reached out.
After the call, Aria stood, appearing elated and happier than I’d ever seen her before. “I can’t believe it. I’ve been searching for so long.” She glanced at me, and I stood as well. “Lucas, I was so worried he was . . .” Her lip trembled. “I thought he might be . . .”
“You weren’t sure if he was still alive.”
She nodded. “I have you to thank for this.” She flew at me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Her head settled against my chest, and it felt good to have her so close, but it was wrong. “Thank you so much for helping me,” she said. “I’ll never forget your kindness.”
I didn’t push her away, but I didn’t put my arms around her either. At some point, whatever this was between us, it had to end. Instead, I patted her back a couple times and cleared my throat. “I’m glad we found him. That’s all that matters.” My voice was hoarse, gruff.
She must have sensed my hesitancy because she pulled away, eyes large. “I’m sorry. I kind of attacked you just now.”
Despite my stoic mood, I smiled faintly. “I’d like to say do it anytime you want, but it’s not a good idea. We should probably talk.”
Her face sobered, and she nodded, looking down at the floor. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“I’m going to be completely upfront with you right now.” My throat constricted, and I had to swallow to get the words out. “It would be easy to pretend nothing happened between us, but I don’t want you to wonder if it was all in your head.” I reached out to touch her arm and then pulled back. “I have feelings for you. You’ve come to mean something to me.” I looked away. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but neither of us have the freedom to pursue a relationship. It’s probably best that from here on out we keep a professional distance.”
Her eyes were sad, and the energy and elation I’d seen moments earlier faded. “Thank you for being honest,” she said quietly, glancing down. “I want you to know that I have feelings for you too. I’ve been drawn to you from the beginning.”
My first inclination was to reach out and caress her face, but I pulled back. I had to stop doing that. It had become a reflex, but it needed to stop. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. You’ve been upfront about your intentions from the beginning. I should have kept a better handle on my feelings.”
“No, it’s my fault. I couldn’t stay away from you. The blame falls squarely on my shoulders.”
“Lucas.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“I won’t ever forget you, Aria, but you’ll find someone else, someone who deserves you.” I did my best to smile. “Maybe even that friend that texted you a while back. What did you say his name was?”
The blood drained from her face. “Mason. Yeah, we’re supposed to go on a date when I get back.”
I nodded, feeling like I was being ripped apart from the inside. “You should give him a chance. I want you to be happy.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “My feelings for him aren’t—”
“Promise me you’ll try. Please. I want you to be able to move on.”
She nodded reluctantly. “Okay. I’ll try.” She put a hand at her throat. “When we get to L.A., I plan on looking for another job. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but we can’t be around each other anymore.”
My heart slammed into my throat. She was leaving? For good? Of course, she was. How could I think she’d want to hang around and watch me pursue the next woman? And, if I had to witness her go on that date with Mason . . . No, it was for the best that she find another job. My brow pulled, and I let out a long sigh. “That’s wise. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you and Chase are taken care of.”
“You don’t have to do that. You’ve already done more than enough.”
I put a hand up to stop her. “Yes, I do. I won’t be able to rest if I know you’re struggling. Let me do this for you, Aria.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.”
Her words were
like a knife to my gut. I owed her a debt I could never pay back. The humility, the forgiveness in her voice . . . It nearly killed me. “Let me take care of you and your brother. I’m asking you for this one thing. Please.” I stared at her intently, letting her know by my expression that it was important to me.
“Fine. Just don’t go overboard.”
“Great. Now that we’ve settled that, I have some errands to do.” I had to get out of the house. Standing with her like this was slowly eating me up inside. “I’ll see you later.”
I grabbed the keys to my car and took off, every muscle in my body straining from the stress of this entire situation. I was doing the right thing.
This was the right thing.
It was.
I knew it was.
Then why did I feel like I was making the biggest mistake of my life?
Chapter 22
Aria
Lucas and I walked through the lobby of the cement structure, and my heart rate increased. In just a few short minutes I would see my brother’s face—finally.
It felt like a dream. If I didn’t hold on to it tightly enough, I might wake up in my old studio apartment and find that none of this was real, and it had all been a figment of my imagination.
A receptionist glanced up from her desk and greeted us. “May I help you?”
“Yes, we’re here to pick up Chase Dasher. He’s discharging today.”
She nodded. “Please have a seat. He’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Lucas and I sat on a stiff tan couch that seemed like it must have been county issued because it lacked any amount of comfort whatsoever.
I stared at the wall as if in a daze. So much had occurred, my head was still buzzing from all the changes. My brother returned my call the same day I’d spoken to his therapist, and he’d told me he was discharging in a week. We’d arranged for me to pick him up today. He didn’t have anywhere to go, but I’d assured him he could live with me. I’d wanted him to tell me everything, but he’d held back. Said he’d rather talk about it in person. I was anxious to know what happened to him, but I respected his desire to share when he was ready.
The day after our phone conversation, I’d considered buying a plane ticket and flying home right away so I could see Chase, but I would need that money for both of us. He was out of work, and from what I gathered, he didn’t have much.
The last few days in Kauai had been torturous. Lucas spent most of the time shut up in his room making phone calls and dealing with business stuff. Not only had I felt antsy to see Chase again, but my heart broke every time I saw Lucas and knew each day would be one of our last together.
We both understood it was best to part ways, but it didn’t make it any easier because my feelings for him had grown. It was like a part of me had been damaged and would never heal. Once he brought Chase and me back to my studio apartment, he would fly to Boston where the next woman on his list lived. Just thinking about it made my breath catch, like the oxygen in the room was slowly dissipating.
Remember the rain.
Warmth flooded through me as the image of God’s protection and unending love came to mind. On that fateful night, I’d hid behind that dumpster with the rain pouring down on me. I could have so easily been harmed, but the Lord was with me then, and He’d be with me now. I wouldn’t stop believing that even though my heart was in tatters.
A door on the other side of the reception desk opened, and a woman stood there, talking to someone in low tones. I could only see the back of her brown hair, but her voice filtered over. “Make sure you attend the support group I referred you to. It’s vital to your ongoing treatment that you follow through. I’ll look for you next week for outpatient therapy. I’m so proud of you, Chase. You’ve come a long way.”
I stood, my heart crashing so hard in my chest I could hear it in my ears. Five years ago, my father passed away, and it had been four long years since I’d seen my little brother. Four years of searching, not knowing if he was dead or alive. What would he look like? Would he be the same Chase I once knew?
I twisted my hands in front of me, waiting. The woman stepped to the side and Chase walked through the door. He looked skinny—too skinny—and he was much taller than he’d been the last time I’d seen him. His black, shiny hair was a little longer, curling around his neck, but his eyes were still the same vibrant blue I remembered.
“Aria,” he said, grinning.
I flew at him, grabbing hold of him in a tight hug. All the years of looking for him caught up to me, and I lost it. “Chase . . . Chase . . . My baby brother. I can’t believe this.” Tears rushed from my eyes, and I couldn’t seem to get out a coherent sentence after that, but I didn’t care if I looked like a blabbering idiot. I was just so happy to see him.
Chase was never one to show his emotions, but he teared up. “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again.” His voice was hoarse, and he kept swiping at his eyes. “Running away was a mistake. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“We can talk about all that when we get home. Right now, I just want to celebrate that I finally found you.”
“You look exactly the same,” he said with a lopsided smile. “Still short and scrawny.”
I threw my head back and laughed. “I’m not that short, and I’m a lot tougher now. I could probably kick your butt if I had to.”
It was his turn to laugh. “Now that I’d like to see.” His eyes strayed behind me, and when I turned to look, Lucas had stood and was walking towards us.
He offered his hand. “I’m Lucas Armstrong, Aria’s employer. It’s nice to meet you.”
Chase shook his hand. “Aria told me over the phone what you did for us. I owe you everything for bringing my sister to me.”
Instead of seeming proud for his part in helping us, Lucas seemed almost miserable. His face was drawn and tired, and his eyes flickered with sadness and something else . . . guilt. “I’m the one who owes you.”
Chase cocked his head to the side, confusion showing in his expression. There was a lot I would need to fill him in on but now wasn’t the time.
“I know you two have a lot of catching up to do,” Lucas said, “and I don’t want to get in the middle of that. How about if I take you home?”
My insides twisted from that statement. This would be it. We’d part ways, and I would probably never see him again. My body felt like it was being stretched in two different directions, as if a part of me celebrated and was at peace from finally seeing my brother again, and the other part mourned the loss of someone who had become dear to me. The happiness and the pain were a messy ball of emotion I didn’t know how to handle. One second I wanted to cry from happiness, and the next I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide.
I nodded, putting an arm around Chase as we followed Lucas to the car. Chase probably hated the extra affection, but I wasn’t letting go—not yet.
We got in the vehicle and Sam pulled away from the curb. Chase and I sat in the back, and Lucas sat up front with Sam. My brother and I chatted like we had when we were young kids, and we both had so much to say, I didn’t realize we weren’t headed to my apartment until Sam drove up to a restaurant. The exterior was covered in brick, and the doors were bright red.
“Are we stopping for lunch?” I asked. “It’s a little early for that. It’s probably not even open.”
Lucas glanced at me over his shoulder with a veiled expression. “We’re just going to stop for a few minutes. Come on inside. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
I shrugged. “All right.”
Lucas, Chase, and I slid out of the car and walked inside while Sam parked the car. My eyes scanned the room. An elaborate chandelier hung from the ceiling, and booths formed the outer rim of the restaurant. Tables with white tablecloths were scattered throughout the center of the room, and wall lamps kept the lighting dim enough to create an enjoyable ambiance. The décor was simple but classy. The restaurant was empty, wh
ich further solidified my thoughts that we were too early for lunch.
“This place looks upscale,” Chase said.
A stocky man with graying hair and a black mustache walked over to greet us. “You must be Mr. Armstrong.”
“I am.” Lucas stepped forward to shake his hand. “And this is Aria and Chase.”
“My name is Emilio,” he said. “Welcome.”
“Thank you,” I said. Both Chase and I shook his hand, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He had a friendly way about him that set me right at ease.
“I hear you both grew up with an Italian restaurant in the family,” Emilio said.
“We did.” How did he know that? Lucas didn’t even seem to know him that well. What was going on?
“I used to help out in the kitchen,” Chase said. “And Aria played her violin for the customers.”
“She knows how to make a really good pizza,” Lucas said.
Chase grinned. “You haven’t tasted mine yet. It’ll knock hers out of the park.”
“He’s not kidding,” I said. “His is so much better. He was always better at cooking.”
Lucas’s eyes were trained on me. “I don’t know. That barbecue chicken pizza you made was amazing. I can’t imagine anything better.” His eyes lingered on my face a bit longer, and then he looked away as if it pained him to remember.
“I hope you like the place,” Emilio said. “But if there’s something you don’t like, we’ll fix it.”
My head jerked back in surprise. “Why would we ask you to fix anything?”
He looked confused and glanced at Lucas. “You haven’t told her yet?”
Lucas flushed and ran a hand along the back of his head. “No, I . . . I haven’t had a chance.”
“Would you like me to do the honors then?” Emilio asked.
Lucas nodded. “Please.”
Emilio held his arms out wide. “Without further ado, welcome to Emilio’s. This place has been my life for thirty years, but now I’m handing it over to you so I can retire and travel to Italy.”
The Ruthless Billionaire: A Clean Billionaire Romance (California Elite) Page 17
