The Edge

by SJD Peterson

  Denny pouted and stopped moving long enough to take a sip of his water. “Damn, that’s too bad. I don’t have the same kind of restriction, so if you ever want to get a little naughty and break some rules….” He tilted his head again, leaving the offer hanging in the air. “Well, you know?”

  “I’ll keep that in mind, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. I can’t do shit without asking Nash for permission first….” Something nagged at him, something Denny had said a moment ago. “Wait, what do you mean you don’t have the same kind of restrictions? Nash referred to you as Malcolm’s boy?”

  “Only a temporary situation. It’s not official or anything.” Denny waved a dismissive hand. “Malcolm’s a good man. He’s taken me in hand to try to help me with some of my issues. I’ve never been contracted, too hard for me to stay focused on anyone or anything for too long.” Denny shrugged one shoulder and went back to playing with the salt and pepper shakers. “It makes it hard to do what you’re told when your brain misfires all the time and you forget what you’re supposed to be doing.”

  “I sort of envy you. You don’t have to worry about him having to know where you are and what you’re doing twenty-four seven. You can tell him to fuck off if he tells you to jump, and call him out on his bullshit.”

  Denny gasped, and Joshua looked up to see the shock evident in his blue eyes.

  “Ignore me. I’m in a mood today, and well, I wonder if submitting is all it’s cracked up to be some days.” Especially when he keeps forcing up shit from the past. Shit Joshua didn’t want to think about. Ever. He gave himself an internal shake. He didn’t want that fucked-up mess ruining his lunch. It wasn’t Denny’s fault, and Joshua wasn’t in the mood to try to swallow down bile. It would only ruin his meal.

  “I get it. Submitting can be difficult, and freedom hard to give up. I’ll give you that.” Denny sighed. “But I think if you find someone who cares enough about you, who wants the best for you, who protects you, that you’ll give up control of your free time.” Denny leaned over the table and stared at him. “It’s worth it. Don’t you think?”

  Sometimes it is, and other times it will mess you up and make you think of past shit that will fucking gut you. Joshua leaned across the table, mimicking Denny, and stared right back. “Most days, but….” He sat back into the booth and laughed bitterly. “Like I said, ignore me. I’m the twitchy brooding type, remember.”

  “How about we work on putting you in a better mood? Let’s order some food. Have a drink or two if you like. It’s on me.”

  “I don’t drink, but thanks anyway.”

  “Then have tea,” Denny said. He waved a waitress over. “Could I get a glass of iced sweet tea and my friend will have….”

  “I’ll have water with lemon, please.”

  The tiny brown-haired girl, who barely looked old enough to have a job, nodded and smiled shyly. “And do you need a moment longer before you’re ready to order?”

  “I know what I want.” Denny looked at Joshua. “Do you need a minute?”

  Joshua grabbed a menu from the holder. “Umm, what do you recommend?”

  “The best chicken alfredo in town,” Denny said confidently.

  Joshua glanced at Denny and then back at the waitress. “I’ll just have what he’s having.” The girl nodded and hurried off.

  “I don’t drink either,” Denny stated.

  “How come?”

  The question was casual, but there was a slight change in Denny’s posture. He was suddenly intent, like he wasn’t going to treat this as a big joke. A serious Denny was like another creature entirely, yet the change was subtle. “Alcohol is as dangerous as any other drug.” Denny shrugged. “It impairs one’s judgment,” he said with a grin, “and I have enough issues with bad judgment without it. You?”

  His reasons were simple, and he didn’t mind discussing them. “You know that brooding disposition you were talking about?”

  “Yeah?”

  “It intensifies tenfold.”

  “Oh dear Lord.” Denny’s eyes went comically wide. He then blew out a breath and shook a single finger at Joshua. “No alcohol for you, hotty man.”

  The waitress appeared with a tray laden with dishes. Pasta, bread, salad—plates filled the table in short order, and Denny looked at it and beamed. Actually fucking beamed. Obviously, the man was a major foodie if he got a boner from his dinner being served.

  “Oh. My. God. This looks and smells amazing.”

  “This smells like we’ll be able to ward off vampires for a hundred-mile radius,” Joshua remarked.

  “And that’s a bad thing?” Denny winked.

  “No, an evening without encountering the Prince of Darkness isn’t a bad thing,” Joshua insisted, picking up his fork.

  “Dude! You’re not a fan of Ozzy?”

  Joshua stared at Denny, unblinking. Then it hit him, and he started laughing. Denny joined in, and the sound filled Joshua with warmth. He’d been so frickin’ nervous about this “date,” but he was beginning to realize he’d been silly to worry. Denny was on the same level Joshua was. Two subs trying to find their way. He didn’t have to worry about his posture, what he said, or keeping his eyes lowered. It felt good to have someone to cut up and joke with, if only for a little while. Plus he liked the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne. The guy couldn’t be all bad.

  Joshua took a bite of his pasta, the flavor of garlic exploding across his taste buds. Alfredo wasn’t his favorite, but it wasn’t bad, and there was the added bonus of the vampire repellent thingy.

  He washed down his food with a sip of water, then asked, “You said Malcolm was taking you to hand. There are lots of Doms at the club. Why him?”

  “Like I said, I’ve had a rough time finding a Dom. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences in a row, and I had honestly given up on finding one who suited me, let alone one that could deal with my issues. I’ve been through almost everyone at the club. So, when Malcolm offered to take me on, I jumped at the chance. I think he just felt sorry for me.”

  “I couldn’t stand to be with someone who felt that way. I hate being pitied,” Joshua said with true conviction. No way could he handle it. He fucking hated it when Nash looked at him with a sympathetic expression. Hated it!

  “I don’t mind. I’m just lucky he was willing to help. Plus, he’s like the top of the tops, ya know? It also doesn’t hurt that he’s super fucking sexy either.”

  “He is that,” Joshua agreed. “I’ve always had a boner for the older daddies.”

  “Oh. My. God. Me too! I nearly came in my pants the night he offered to take me in the back. Hell, maybe I did—part of it is a blur—but he beat me and fucked me like I’d never been before. What really blew me away was how quickly I was able to let go and hand over the reins of control to him. Frightening, really. I have trust issues too, by the way. So it even shocked me when he offered to make me his boy until I found the right one for me, and I didn’t even hesitate to say yes.”

  Denny’s words were filled with hope, but Joshua caught the hint of sadness in his tone. “But?”

  “I have never felt so connected to someone before like I do with Malcolm. And now that I have it….” Denny poked at some pasta, shook his head, and went silent.

  “You don’t want to give him up?”

  “No, but I don’t know how I could ever be good enough for him. I mean, he’s a god, and I’m”—Denny looked up at Joshua and give him a sad smile—“me.”

  “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. I seriously doubt Malcolm would have agreed to take you on if he didn’t see something in you.”

  Denny didn’t respond right away. He ate his meal, but Joshua couldn’t help but think Denny’s mind was on what Joshua had said, not his food.

  After a couple of minutes, Denny nodded and said, “Yeah, I guess so.” Denny took another bite and lifted his glass. “What about you? What does Nash see in you?”

  I have no fucking clue, was the first thing that popped in Joshua’s
head. Surprisingly, he was enjoying his lunch with Denny and didn’t want to put a damper on it by getting too deep into his issues.

  He decided to go with a version of the truth. “To be honest, we are still working things out. We’re both really different people with different needs…. Well, on some things. For now, I do for him, he takes care of me. It’s tit for tat. We haven’t really gotten into the deeper stuff yet.”

  “Sounds like we’re both in sort of a transition period.”

  The story of my life. He was always in transition or some shit where he had to learn to deal with battling wants and desires.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure. I can’t promise I’ll answer, but you can ask,” Joshua said. He tried to sound nonchalant, but his tone was sad even to his own ears.

  “There are some rumors running rampant in the club. They say you can handle more pain than all the subs combined.”

  Joshua, uncomfortable with this line of conversation, wasn’t sure how to respond. Although he barely knew Denny, it felt wrong to outright lie to him. Then again, he wasn’t sure if the full truth was any of his business.

  He took a sip of water, then responded over the rim. “Rumors sometimes have a small sliver of truth, but usually are exaggerated and blown out of proportion.”

  Denny licked a drop of sauce from his finger, then raised his brows. “And?”

  “And I guess I can handle a lot of pain, but I highly doubt I can handle more than all the subs combined.”

  “Conrad told me he overheard Kirk say you scared the shit out of him. Is that one of those exaggerations too?” Denny asked, but he was looking at his plate, not at Joshua.

  “I know that’s your way of beating around asking me if I’m a slut for pain, and yeah, I guess I am. But aren’t we all to some degree or another? I mean, Malcolm’s range is legendary. I’ve never played with him, but I hear tears come quickly with him.”

  “You have a point, and yeah, they do.” Denny giggled.

  “Okay, my turn to ask you a question. You ever play with Nash?”

  “Yeah, several times. He’s not as hard-core as some of the Doms, but he’s fun.”

  A strange feeling came over Joshua. He wasn’t sure what it was. He was pissed and sad. Actually more pissed than sad, but he had no idea why. The emotions coursing through him were foreign, something he’d never experienced before.

  Wait. Joshua froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. Holy fuck, he was jealous, which was completely and utterly stupid. He’d never been the possessive type. He wasn’t a huge fan of his Dom sharing him with every Tom, Dick, or Harry but hadn’t ever had a problem watching his Dom take on another sub. Threesomes, foursomes, and group orgies were hot as hell. Christ, he’d taken himself in hand countless times and blown his load while watching his Dom fuck and beat another sub. He’d also gotten off in a major way the night he was put on stage and a Dom fucked him while another took a crop to his chest, stomach, and dick. He had no idea why he was suddenly feeling the way he was.

  “Whoa, did I say something wrong?” Denny asked. He reached across the table and laid his hand on Joshua’s forearm, suddenly looking very nervous. “I thought you knew. I mean, I haven’t been with him since you two hooked up. Nash hasn’t been with any of the boys since he’s been with you.”

  “No, you didn’t say anything wrong. Was just thinking about something else,” Joshua said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was just a small fib. One he had to tell because he honestly didn’t know how to deal with the shit he was feeling.

  “Oh, good. I wouldn’t want to upset you.”

  “Nah, you didn’t.” A thought occurred to Joshua, and he added, “In fact, you may be able to help me understand him.”

  Denny patted Joshua’s arm, then sat back. He picked up a breadstick and munched on it. “I’ll try. What are you having difficulty with?”

  “He gave me my own room—”

  “Seriously? You lucky bastard. My friend Julian has a pallet next to his master’s bed and in two years hasn’t slept on a mattress. Seriously, dude, two fucking years. No way could I handle that. I’m a total cuddle whore, but at least you have a bed. And honey, I’d take that and a body pillow over a pallet any day of the week.”

  Joshua set his fork down, sat back in his chair, and picked at his breadstick, while the man rambled on about beds, cuddling, and all the people he knew who either liked or hated cuddling. It had nothing to do with what Joshua wanted to ask him, and his crazy chatter certainly wasn’t going to help with Nash. Joshua didn’t dare interrupt. He decided the animated man was quite cute when he was on a roll, and Joshua was enjoying the show immensely.

  It took several minutes before Denny realized what he was doing. His cheeks turned a bright shade of red. “I was babbling, wasn’t I?”

  “Uh-huh. But at least you’re cute while doing it.”

  Denny preened a little at the praise. “Okay, so umm… yeah. I totally forgot what you asked me.” Before Joshua could answer, Denny blurted out “Oh, I remember. You were talking about Nash giving you your own room.” He bounced in his seat while clapping. “Yay, me!”

  “Good job,” Joshua praised. He winked then became more serious. “I do appreciate having my own room, but I find I resent him for keeping me out of his.” He set the bread down without haven taken a bite. “I know he enjoys me being in his bed, so I don’t understand why he’s punishing me. I haven’t done anything. At least I don’t think I have. So any suggestions on how I can get him to stop being a dick and let me in his bed?”

  “Oh sweetie, haven’t you learned all Doms can be dicks? But in all seriousness, have you asked him what you can do to gain entry into his snuggle world?”

  “No, and damn sure not in those words,” Joshua answered.

  “Fine, use your own words,” Denny said flippantly. He munched on his dinner, speaking with his mouth full as he continued. “You’re a smart little sub. You said he enjoys you being there. I suggest you make him need you there.”

  “And how am I supposed to do that?”

  “Do you have to serve him coffee and breakfast in bed? Malcolm is a tyrant without his morning coffee.”

  “Yeah, he likes his coffee in bed. I don’t think he’s a tyrant without it, but he does get a bit grumpy.” Joshua laughed.

  “So tomorrow take him his coffee a few minutes earlier than he expects it. Instead of going to your knees and waiting for him to wake up to the smell of the fresh brew, slide beneath the covers, wrap your lips around his dick, and blow him awake. He’ll open those eyes with a big ol’ smile on his face.”

  Joshua raised an eyebrow, pausing just long enough to say, “And this is getting me in his bed all night, how?” He finished the last bite of his pasta. He set his fork down, surprised he’d cleared his plate.

  “I told you it was good.” Denny nodded toward Joshua’s plate. “Anyway, after a good-morning orgasm, move up and snuggle into his side while he is drinking his coffee. Now, from what I know about Nash, he’ll thank you—he’s so fucking polite all the time—and want to return the favor.”

  “Well, I’d never say no to a little reciprocation.” Joshua knew he was grinning entirely too widely, even though he still had no idea how this was going to help him get into Nash’s bed all night. He was a sucker, literally, for a good pole-slurping, especially when said pole-slurping was being done by a cocky and confident Dom.

  “Your job is to make sure he thinks it’s his idea, his pleasure that has you using that sexy hot bod of yours for a pillow every night.”

  “They do like to be the one calling the shots. Okay, so morning blowjobs, what else?”

  Denny winked and licked his lips, looking particularly naughty, sort of like a demented sprite. “I’d rather show you.”

  “Denny,” Joshua said warningly.

  “Not my fault,” he said, sporting an impressive pout. “If you weren’t so yummy-looking.”

  “Thank you, but focus, will you?”<
br />
  “I’ll try.” Denny winked. “Okay, so, instead of just blowing him awake, make sure you lube yourself up before you make his coffee. Then, when it’s time to get him… up, go down on him like usual, but just before he pops, crawl up his body and sit on his cock.”

  “Ohhhh,” Joshua breathed and felt his own cock react to that suggestion. “Oh, that is wicked.”

  “Trust me, he will want you in his bed every morning.”

  “Thank you. You’re far more creative than I am.”

  “Possibly just more of a pervert,” Denny said with a wink.

  “I seriously doubt that.” Joshua grinned.

  Denny snorted. “Anyway, walk to heel all the time. Keep your posture perfect, get naked every chance you get. And baby, even if you don’t feel it, pretend to be the perfect little sub. It will make him happy. Content. When he’s like that, you have a much better chance of reaching your goal of nightly snuggles.”

  “I’ve been doing the complete opposite. I mean, I do what he says, but I don’t even try to go the extra mile. I think I’ve been blaming him for being a dick, then trying to figure out a way to get what I want.” Joshua grinned. “I kind of like the idea of manipulating him.”

  “We all use manipulation to some extent. Just don’t get content. Trying to use that technique for too long will only come back to bite you in the ass. And not in a good way.”

  “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. You haven’t steered me wrong yet.” He pointed to his plate. “That was delicious.”

  “Glad you liked it,” Denny said with another grin. “Let’s do this again. I don’t have any friends in the scene, and it’s nice to have a conversation where I don’t have to monitor everything I say.” He waved the waitress over.

  “Sure, I’d like that.” And surprisingly he wasn’t lying. He’d been irritated that Nash and Malcolm had set this up and given Joshua no say in the matter. Now, he figured he owed them both a thank-you. He really had enjoyed talking with Denny. It was strange being with someone who didn’t want anything from him. Stranger still that Joshua didn’t want anything in return. A rare thing in his life.