Love in the Friend Zone

by Molly E. Lee

  She squealed before turning her card over. “Jack!”

  I immediately looked to Randy who filled me in quickly. “Never have I ever.” He whispered in my ear, holding up three fingers to his forehead. “Drop one when she says something you’ve done. The last person with fingers still up has to drink.”

  My stomach rolled. I wasn’t as open with the intimate details of my life as I’m sure she was used to with the party circuit she and her crew constantly worked—hell, the girl had allowed Don to give everyone on Snapchat a play by play of the first time they did it. It had been expected since Donna and Jarred had done the same thing weeks before them. Something I never understood about their group, they were all about airing their personal life on social media.

  Katy held her own fingers and scanned everyone at the table. “Never have I ever kissed a girl.”

  Randy, Todd, Fynn, and even Jenny dropped a finger. Then Katy followed.

  I was the only one, apparently, who hadn’t kissed a girl. Maybe I should’ve texted Zoey and seen what we were missing? The thought made me chuckle. Okay, maybe this won’t be so bad. I took a deep breath as Katy spoke again.

  “Never have I ever smoked pot.”

  Fynn and myself, along with everyone else at the table, dropped a finger.

  “Never have I ever had sex.”

  Heat flushed to my cheeks as I saw everyone’s hand drop besides Fynn’s and mine. We were the only two with one finger left on our heads.

  “Sudden death, I’ll have to think of a good one.” Katy said. She straightened when Fynn shot her a curious glance. She looked between the two of us before arching a perfectly tweezed eyebrow at me.

  “Never have I ever had a sex dream about my best friend.”

  She could’ve hit me in the chest with a sledgehammer and I would’ve been less shocked. From the state of my skin, I was sure I had burst into flames, but I didn’t drop a finger. Instead, I swallowed the truth, refusing to look at Fynn.

  Katy gasped as the rest of the table chorused with a round of drawn out Ohs! For a second I thought I’d accidentally somehow admitted the truth, or that it was plastered on my face, but a quick glance at Fynn and the air froze in my lungs.

  He’d dropped a finger. “What?” he asked me innocently, holding his cup to his lips. “We’ve been friends for more than a decade,” he said like that explained everything.

  Heat worked its way up from my toes all the way to the crown of my head. I laughed, for once feeling like I wasn’t the one with a dark secret in our friendship.

  Katy snorted behind the drink she took, drawing Fynn’s attention back to her.

  Fynn laughed nervously at my side. “Relax, Katy. It’s just a dumb game.” He took another drink.

  “Agreed,” I said, suddenly feeling as if the room were entirely too small. “I’m out.” I pushed away from the table, unable to sit through the torture for another minute. With the way the game was going, I’d be outed in no time. And while I had tried numerous times to tell Fynn tonight, I wanted it to be on my terms, or come from someone who cared about us both, like Zoey. Not because of some dumb game.

  “Braylen, hold up!” Fynn called after me as I darted into the hallway, and if it had been anyone else, I would’ve ignored it and kept running. But it was Fynn, so I turned around.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  He offered me an easy grin, like he didn’t have a clue why I was bolting.

  “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there. You don’t have to rush off.”

  Holy crap, he really is oblivious.

  I stood there, my mouth opening and closing as I hunted for the words that would make him understand.

  “I’m not embarrassed,” I said, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth while looking up at him. “Flattered, sure, but not embarrassed.”

  He furrowed his brow at me. “Are you seriously saying that you’ve never…” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Dreamt about that?”

  I sighed, wishing he would just know so I didn’t have to make a fool of myself explaining.

  “It’s your turn, Fynny!” Katy poked her head out of the entryway, grinning at him while she batted her baby blues. “It was a quick round and we’re back to you, since Braylen bailed.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Forget it,” I said, turning on my heels and leaving him to make his choice. Follow me and finish our conversation, or return to Katy.

  It only took a minute to realize it hadn’t been that hard a decision for him.

  Chapter Eight

  Fynn

  I crunched my empty cup in one hand, squeezing it so hard it splintered around the sides before I tossed it in the garbage. Another beer down. Still didn’t numb the war raging in my head. The one that was screaming at me to run out of the room and shake Braylen by her shoulders—force her to tell me the truth about what really was bothering her, because that line about her being in love with someone just didn’t sit right with me.

  Something like jealousy twisted my gut before a flash of warm hope killed the sensation.

  Hope from the idea that she might mean me.

  That’s insane.

  I knew Bray too well for her to hide something like that, and I highly doubted she would keep the guy’s name from me, either. Which led me to believe she’d made it up to get me off her case.

  She’d left the game in a hurry, and sure, Katy had been a little more open with intimate details than Bray or even I was used to, but I didn’t think they’d bother Bray that much. Not to the point of abandoning a game. She rarely did that, as competitive as she was.

  I hadn’t been this confused since that one week in sixth grade when she’d gotten her first period. She’d never been this distant with me—besides then. Earlier, when they’d playfully competed at video games, I thought there was a chance they’d somehow…mesh.

  They’ll never be friends.

  The notion hit me like I’d fallen through a frozen lake. Whenever I had pictured being with Katy before, Braylen had always remained in my life. After seeing the two of them tonight—whenever we made it into the same room—there was definitely something about the pair that simply didn’t fit perfectly together. They were decent to each other, but they didn’t like the same things—Katy was all fabrics, parties, and brash names for her friends. Bray was comics, staying up late to hit deadlines, and aspirations to be a hard-hitting journalist after college. I had always pictured being the Jimmy Olsen to her Lois Lane, but my head was spinning tonight. Being with Katy would mean losing that dream with Braylen.

  My chest tightened as I dug deeper, wondering if I could ever actually be with someone who didn’t jive with my best friend. Then again, I was getting ahead of myself. I hadn’t even kissed Katy yet. And there was no telling if we’d truly hit it off like I kept thinking we would. With each passing minute I spent with Katy, I learned a fraction more about her, but nothing major yet to unravel her mystery completely.

  And, as much as I hated to acknowledge it, the fairytale like story I’d weaved in my head for her had yet to be proven even slightly true.

  Still, I couldn’t deny how my ego had flared when Katy had gotten snippy over me during the game. Did that make me no better than Don or one of his goons? That a simple show of territorial claim from someone as gorgeous and popular as her had made me feel like I was finally being seen?

  Unable to come to a definitive answer on that one, I decided to ignore it.

  The game had ended so I headed to the kitchen and poured myself another drink.

  Why was I worried that Katy and Braylen would never get along? Being with one wouldn’t guarantee I lost the other, right?

  Wrong.

  I kept on drinking until the fresh cup was empty. The truth sat heavy in my gut. No. Katy and Braylen would never run in the same circle, but hell, it’s not like I fit into Katy’s crew either…I merely wanted her to fit in mine. And Braylen was the crew. Sure, we had other people we counted on—Gordon, Zoey, Lennon even—but she’d been
my right hand since before I could remember. Katy couldn’t change that.

  The way Bray was acting made me think differently, but I tried to silence the annoying voice in my head as I searched the house for Katy. Donna had pulled her to the side after Randy had won the Kings game.

  Randy. He was fast to put the moves on Bray. Maybe he was the guy she spoke of, though there was no way she’d fall in love with him after knowing him a few hours. He’d just met her and yet he was already rushing her off to the woods or getting her to play drinking games and holding her hand and shit. He wanted more than that. Surely Bray could see through his act.

  Then again, she did almost eat almonds tonight. Her head definitely wasn’t on straight. Another mystery I couldn’t solve that was driving me crazy. Was she so enamored by college-Randy that she wouldn’t notice as he slowly but surely made his way into her pants?

  “Fuck.”

  “What’s up, Fynn?” Gordon stopped me in the hallway on my way to the front of the house.

  “Huh?” I asked, finally coming out of my head and to the present.

  Gordon cocked an eyebrow at me, moving me to the side of the guest bathroom as Jarred sprinted inside it and slammed the door shut. “You just snapped, fuck. What’d you do, lose your date?”

  I said that out loud? Shit. I raked my hands through my hair. “I think I’m losing it, man.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall next to me. “That makes two of us. Reasoning?”

  I shook my head. “Katy. Braylen. Both are making my head spin.”

  “Women.” A muscle in his jaw ticked.

  “Zoey your source?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know, bro. I felt like crap about what I did earlier. I came here to apologize to her and now I don’t know what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.” He shifted, taking a drink of his beer. “I thought you and Braylen were just friends.”

  “We are.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  Good question. “Something’s off.”

  “And?”

  “And it bothers me. I don’t know where her head is at and I’m worried about her.”

  Gordon straightened, his eyes locking on something across the room. “Looks like she’s doing fine to me.”

  “What?” I snapped, following his gaze.

  There, pressed against the wall, was Braylen, looking up intently into Randy’s eyes as he stood so close to her I could barely tell the two apart. He wasn’t touching her, and yet I felt like he was smothering her. She wasn’t pushing him away, but her eyes were unsure.

  “Dude,” Gordon said, placing his hand on my chest and pushing me back toward the wall. I hadn’t even realized I moved. “You’re shaking.”

  “What?” I asked for the second time, focusing on him as I shook out my limbs. “No I’m not.”

  “You sure you don’t have a thing for Braylen?”

  I glared at him. Why did everyone get our friendship so twisted?

  Why are you?

  Gordon raised his hands in defense. “Never mind. How are things progressing with the school princess?”

  I forced air out of my lungs and kept my eyes on him, instead of in the other room where I wanted to look. “Good.” And that was at least the truth. I think. “She’s been…” I wanted to say nice or fun or any combination of interesting words that would describe the night so far, but I couldn’t get the image of Randy and Braylen out of my head.

  “Nice,” Gordon filled in for me. “Figured she’d be back with Don by the end of the night. You’re screwing up a bet for me, but I’m happy for you.”

  “You bet on her getting back with Don?” I laughed.

  “Fifty bucks.” He smirked. “You know there’s always either a massive breakup or hookup at Lennon’s parties. Looks like I bet on the wrong horse.”

  “She has talked about him,” I said, sighing. “Maybe don’t cut your losses just yet.” It could be I was too used to them being together, it hadn’t sunk in yet that she was actually interested in me.

  Gordon scrunched his eyebrows up, tilting his head at me. “Are you drunk?”

  “No, man. Are you?” I took another drink just to prove how not drunk I was.

  “I’m on my way. But you’ve got Katy dangling by a string and you’re acting like all you can think about is your BFF with her panties in a twist.”

  “And you’re slow dancing with your arch-nemesis. Which of us has it worse?”

  He chuckled. “Touché.”

  After a few beats of silence, where I continued to struggle not to look back to the room I knew Braylen was in, I bumped my cup with Gordon’s. “How are you holding up?”

  He shrugged. “I made an ass of myself earlier today.”

  “I was there.”

  He rolled his eyes and took another drink. “I’m paying for it now, trust me.”

  “Care to share the reason behind going rogue for your speech?”

  “I just snapped after I lost…” His eyes fell to the contents of his cup as he swirled the liquid in a circle.

  “What did you lose?” I asked after he’d stared at his drink so long he seemed to be somewhere else altogether.

  “Everything.” He shook his head.

  I straightened at the seriousness in his tone. “You need to talk, man?”

  Gordon took another long drink. “Maybe another time.”

  “Fair enough.” I knew not to push if he didn’t want to talk, and from the looks of it, he was dealing with much more than the hell that could be Zoey if you pissed her off.

  A loud clink of porcelain sounded from the bathroom door next to us, making the two of us jump.

  “A twenty says Jarred just cracked his head open passing out in there.” Gordon motioned to the door.

  I shook my head, reluctantly handing him my drink as I moved to pry the door open.

  “Shut the fucking door!” Jarred yelled the second I got it open.

  “Ah, man, not cool!” I hollered back and slammed the door, trying to erase the vision of his naked ass sitting on the back of the toilet as opposed to the seat.

  Gordon covered half his face trying to hide his laugh.

  “Lennon will kill him,” I said, taking my drink back.

  “Should’ve bet on him doing an upper decker.” Gordon shook his head. “I didn’t realize their little feud was still going.”

  “Still? Dude, it’s an ongoing event that hasn’t stopped since it started in grade school.”

  “Who was it again that started the prank war?” he asked.

  I furrowed my brow, trying to think back to sixth grade. “I honestly can’t remember. My money is on Jarred.”

  “Was it sixth grade that Jarred stole Lennon’s lunch without him knowing and doused the inside of his PB&J with cayenne?”

  I nodded. “Yep.” Lennon had been out sick for two days because he’d wolfed the sandwich down in two bites before he realized what was wrong with it. “And Lennon retaliated by stuffing Jarred’s bags with firecrackers.”

  “Jarred was suspended for a week,” Gordon said, laughing as he glanced at the bathroom’s closed door. “Figured this kind of thing would’ve stopped by now. Or at least tonight it would end. I mean, we’ve graduated!” He held his arms out to indicate the whole house, but he looked anything but celebratory. “It’s time to move on. Off to college and leaving these people in the dust.” He took another drink.

  I shrugged. “Somehow I feel like Jarred will never grow up. I’m sure if he could, he’d follow Lennon on tour, pranking him in arenas filled with Lennon’s screaming fans.”

  “Shit,” Gordon said through his laughs. “I bet you he was passing out, not pranking. Guess I owe you twenty.”

  “Keep it. You may need it to take Zoey out tomorrow.”

  His laugh stopped instantly as he glared at me. “Low blow, man.”

  “Good luck,” I said, nodding as I passed him, heading for where I spotted Katy chatting with Donna on the secon
d-floor stair landing.

  “You need it more than me!” Gordon shouted from behind.

  “We’ll see about that!” I called over my shoulder. I sounded confident but truth was, he was right. With the way it felt like a magnet tugged on my core—in the opposite direction where I knew Braylen was and not to the girl I walked toward—I needed all the luck I could get.

  “There you are!” Katy grabbed my wrists once I reached her. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

  I glanced around, confused how she could have a hard time finding me, but shrugging. “Here I am.”

  “Here you are,” Donna said, flashing Katy a smirk I wasn’t even about to try and decipher. “Where’s your camera?”

  Katy smacked her on the stomach.

  “In my car,” I answered. “Lennon wants some shots of the show later. If he gets back in time, that is.”

  “Where did he go?” Katy asked.

  “I don’t know. Somewhere with Jade.”

  “Shut up!” Katy’s mouth nearly came unhinged it dropped so fast. “There is no way Lennon Pryor went somewhere with the mathlete.”

  I squinted at her. “Why?”

  She twisted the ends of her long blonde hair. “They so don’t mesh.”

  “You never know.”

  Donna giggled beside Katy. “Yeah, you totally never do.” She squeezed Katy’s shoulder. “Catch you later, bitch.”

  “Bye!” Katy grinned at me. “See, I don’t always call her something back.”

  I arched an eyebrow at her, wondering why she felt the need to point it out. My eyes darted to the fifty other people who stood around us in groups—a bunch of them playing beer pong at the tables just a few feet from us. Jarred bumped my shoulder as he pushed through us to get to one of the tables.

  “How’s your car?” Katy smacked him as he passed us and he flipped her off. She giggled.

  After the prank he’d just pulled in Lennon’s guest bath, his car would be the last thing I’d be worried about if I were him. Of course, I suppose Gordon and I were the only ones who knew what he’d done, but Lennon wouldn’t have a hard time guessing.