“You’re a better woman than I am,” Claire admitted. “I’d have gone bonkers before now if I had to be around his intensity for days on end. But don’t you dare tell anyone I admitted that.”
Mary giggled. “Afraid of the big bad wolf?”
“Yes, both him and my husband,” she admitted as their laughter rang into the kitchen. “We certainly do attract intense men,” Claire added.
Mary snorted. “Lee’s helping me as a professional, Claire. That’s all it is. Don’t let your mind go anywhere else with this.” Then she changed the subject. “Grab the potatoes on your way in, then we’re ready to eat.”
* * *
Claire watched her sister walk away and shook her head. Could this work if her sister wasn’t able to admit her feelings for Lee? They were so obvious. How could she not see it? As Claire joined everyone at the table, Lance’s brow furrowed when he looked at her and then at Mary.
Suddenly Claire realized why Lee had been so adamant about keeping her away from Mary. A flush moved from her chest into her cheeks as she realized that she may have undermined Lee moments before in the kitchen without intending to. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer, asking God to please continue to work in Mary’s heart despite her mistake.
When Claire opened her eyes, Lee was watching her. She didn’t think it was possible, but her face turned hotter. She shifted her eyes away from his, but she could feel him watching her.
After breakfast Claire offered to clean up, freeing Mary to do whatever was needed with Lee.
Much to her chagrin, Lee asked Mary to do something for him before their scheduled session, and then he followed Claire into the kitchen with an arm full of dishes. After he set them down, he crossed his arms and looked at her.
“Is there anything you need to tell me, Claire?” His intense grey eyes assessed her.
Claire felt a familiar blush move into her cheeks. “Umm, well,” she paused and risked a quick glance at him before turning back to the sink.
“Eyes on me, Claire.”
She blew out a quick breath and glared at him. “I might have said something to Mary when we were in the kitchen,” she admitted.
He waited—waited like only Lee Jamison could do. Expectantly—confident that she would somehow bare her soul to him.
“Why do you do that?” She seethed.
“What exactly?”
“That,” she declared. “What you’re doing right now. It’s unnerving,” She faced him with her hands on her hips.
Jim popped his head into the room then his eyes widened. “Need help here, doc?”
“No, I’ve got it, Jim, but thanks.”
Claire barely suppressed a growl, then exhaled. “Okay, so I might have admitted to Mary that I didn’t understand how she handled your intensity for days on end.”
“And you did that because?” Lee asked.
“Because she asked me for help with getting you off her case. Seriously, Doctor Jamison, you have no idea how—how intimidating it is.” Claire’s eyes were flashing, her chest heaving. “Why did you even bother to ask me about this? You can read minds, you probably already knew all of this anyway.”
Lee chuckled.
“You think this is funny?”
Mary walked into the kitchen and froze in her tracks at the site of Claire with her hands on her hips and eyes blazing, and Lee with a smirk on his face. She abruptly turned around to leave.
“Don’t you dare walk away, Mary Hawarden,” Claire seethed. “You asked me for help getting Lee off your back, and then think you can walk away when I’m the one who gets in trouble?”
Mary bit her lip, obviously trying not to laugh, but that seemed to only incense Claire further.
Claire narrowed her eyes at her sister. “I have been worried sick about you for more than a week now, not even sure if you would recover consciousness, and then I do something stupid like undermine Lee in front of you, and now—“ her voice broke and her eyes filled with tears— “and now I’m worried that I might have ruined everything.” She finished as the tears streamed down her face.
Mary rushed to her sister and hugged her tight. They clung to each other as tears streamed down both of their faces. Mary pulled back from Claire and reached for her hand, pulling her to the kitchen table.
Once seated, she looked Claire in the eyes. “Let’s get something straight right now. You are in no way responsible for anything that has happened in my life.”
“But I want everything to be better for you, Mary,” Claire admitted, tears gathering again. “It hurts me when you’re hurting and you’ve been hurting for so long. Then I found Sully and fell in love, and—and I feel so guilty,” she admitted with tears now streaming down her cheeks, onto her arms. “You deserve to find love again. Please don’t live in the past any more.”
Mary rose and paced the kitchen while Jim and Lee looked on. Lee’s arm was on Jim’s as if holding him back from interfering.
“You can’t want that for me, Claire.”
“But I do,” Claire whispered. “You’re meant to be a wife and mother, Mary, I just know it. I’m sorry Mike died, I truly am, but you have your whole entire life still ahead of you. I can’t bear to watch you punish yourself any more,” Claire begged.
Mary pressed her hand to her stomach and took two steps back. Her face paled and then she fled to her bedroom and slammed the door.
“Oh Lord no,” Claire sobbed. “What have I done?” She dropped her head into her hands and wailed.
Lee walked over to Claire and put his hand on her shoulder, but she didn’t even know he was there.
“Claire. Claire!” He said sharply until she finally glanced up at him. “You may well have helped Mary by opening this next door,” he smiled down at her then looked at Jim. “Comfort her,” he said nodding toward Claire before taking confident strides toward Mary’s room.
Chapter 21
Mary’s Farm
Lee knocked on the door to Mary’s room, then opened it.
Mary was sitting on her bed as though in a stupor. “Go away,” she said.
“Mary, we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t,” she answered softly. Her words filled with unshed tears.
He tried to gather into her arms but she pushed him away.
“Please go away,” she pleaded.
“I’m not going to do that,” he told her calmly.
“I can’t do this.” She clenched the quilt that lay on top of her bed. “I can’t do this. I can’t make a decision. I don’t know what to do. I can’t—,” suddenly her throat began to tighten and she was gasping for breath.
Lee sat behind her on the bed and gathered her to his chest, pressing on her sternum.
“No—“ she cried.
“Yes, Mary, let me help you.” He whispered in her ear. “Let me in. Slow your breathing. Listen to my voice.”
* * *
“Is that what I’m doing?” Mary asked when her breathing finally returned to normal. “Punishing myself?”
Lee simply held her tight.
“I have to make a decision, Lee, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t marry Gerald, but if I don’t, I have to give up the farm—and Colossal—and Mike’s dream.”
“If Mike was the one left behind, Mary, would you want him to live out your dream or move on and find happiness?”
“I—I wouldn’t expect that. I would want him to be happy.”
“Then why can’t you give yourself permission to do the same thing?”
“I am punishing myself, aren’t I? Claire was right. I feel guilty that I dragged him to Bareglen Creek, took him away from his family, and that he died. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” She turned to look into Lee’s eyes, begging him to understand.
Lee moved to sit in front of her. He took her hands into his. “Look at me, Mary.”
He waited until she did. “Do you really believe that? Would you blame Mike if you had moved here for him?”
“No, I guess not
, but that doesn’t change how I feel. It’s so raw.”
He nodded. “Your feelings are very real, but feelings can sometimes be misplaced. Talking about this and processing it is what will help you to categorize it correctly in your psyche. The very thing you don’t want to do is the very thing that will ultimately free you.”
He tipped her face back up so her eyes once again met his. “You’re a strong woman, Mary, and although grieving the loss of someone we love is hard—so very hard—it will not destroy you.”
“I know that.” She held back a sob. “I grieved Mike’s death, but I couldn’t let go of the guilt that he died because he came here with me. Mike’s family blamed me—.”
“And now they want you to marry their other son… Do you see anything amiss with that, Mary?”
Her eyes widened in shock. “It’s not right,” she whispered.
“You’re correct, it’s not right,” he agreed. “I try to never tell a patient—or friend—what they should do, but in this case, Mary, I feel that it would harm you if you were to marry Mike’s brother, regardless of whether or not he is a good man.”
“Oh, he’s not a good man, trust me. He’s always been a bully—mean to the core.” She paused. “I wasn’t thinking right—how could I have even considered marriage to Gerald an option?”
“Why did you?”
“Because I wanted to keep Mike’s dream of building a farm alive, for his sake.” She looked up into Lee’s eyes, “because I wanted him to know how sorry I am for failing him.”
Lee wiped the tears from Mary’s cheeks. “Do you still believe that, Mary? That you failed him?”
“No, I loved him, and he knew that.”
“Was the farm ever part of your dream?” he asked, curious.
She looked surprised. “No—no, it was never my dream,” she admitted. “It was never my dream,” she repeated.
“What is your dream, Mary?”
Tears fell fast and furious, steaming like a river down her cheeks. “I want to teach. I want to marry and have children. I want to go back to Philadelphia,” she admitted, and for the first time in days, a smile shone through her tears.
Lee smiled back at her and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
Her breath caught in her throat at the intimate gesture.
“Then that is what we’ll help you do, Mary.”
“I need to send a telegram right away.”
“I’d like for you to rest for an hour or so, and then we can go into town together. Would you like that?” He asked her tenderly.
“Yes. Yes, I would.”
When Lee moved from the bed Mary couldn’t help the plea that rose from her throat, “Please?”
He stopped and looked at her. “What do you need, Mary?”
“Never mind. Nothing,” she shook her head.
“What do you need, Mary?” He asked again patiently.
“Would you stay with me while I rest?”
He placed his hand under her chin and smiled with pride. “Yes, I would love to stay here with you. I’m pleased you asked.”
She smiled shyly at him.
He raised his eyebrows at her in that no-nonsense way she’d come to adore. “Lie down,” he instructed, and she did. He wrapped a blanket tightly around her body and she fell almost asleep immediately with Lee by her side.
Chapter 22
Mary’s Farm
Mary woke three hours later feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. True to his word, when she opened her eyes she saw Lee sitting beside her reading a large medical reference book. He hadn’t noticed that she was awake, so she enjoyed observing him for a change.
His features were pronounced, and he was such a handsome man. She wondered how he could possibly still be single, then berated herself for letting her thoughts run in that direction. Lee was helping her as a friend of the family and a professional, and she couldn’t let her heart expect anything else.
Not a minute passed before his eyes met hers. “You’re awake.” Then they darkened to that smoky grey color that was the first clue that he was studying someone—in this case her—and it made the butterflies in her stomach act up again. She felt herself blushing and then looked away. He moved from the chair to sit on the edge of her bed, making it impossible for her to avoid him. “How are you feeling?”
She smiled. “Like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.”
He nodded, still assessing her.
“I’d like to get up and go into town, if that’s all right?” she asked.
His mouth turned up at the corners. “I think that’s something the doctor can approve,” he agreed. But he didn’t move.
“Umm, can you move so I can get up?” She tilted her head and asked with a sheepish grin.
His grey eyes softened and he offered her his hand.
* * *
Mary paused when she walked into the dining area and all eyes turned to her. Sully was sitting beside Claire, with Jim on her other side, and even Lance and Magdalena were there.
Lee gave her arm a comforting squeeze.
Mary took a deep breath and moved to the table. “I’ve made a decision,” she began, “but before I go there, I want you—each of you—to know how much I appreciate your love and support. I’m not sure I could have made it without you,” she admitted, “and I’m awfully glad I didn’t have to.” She paused and smiled. “Thanks to our resident psychiatrist, and Doctor Holloway,” she added, “the last few days have been eventful and I can honestly say that for the first time in nearly two years I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.”
Claire started to rise, but Sully held her down. Mary chuckled when Claire scowled at him.
“I’ve decided to release the farm to Mike’s family.” The silence in the room was deafening. “Jim, I should have come to you first to talk about this in light of all you’ve done to literally walk away from your life in Philadelphia to help me with my life here. I do not take that lightly and I know I can never begin to repay you for your devotion and support.”
“It’s not needed, sis.” His eyes filled with tears.
“Lee and I are going into town so that I can send the telegram, and hopefully I’ll know more within the next day or two as to when I need to vacate the premises, if the animals need to be sold, etc.”
“What will you do?” Claire asked.
“I’m not sure just yet, but I’ll be returning to Philadelphia and I’ll figure it out from there.”
“I’ll be sad to see you go, Mary,” Magdalena admitted, “but I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“I love you, too, Mags, and we’ll still see each other. I’ll make sure of it,” she promised.
“If you are able to stay until we return in a few hours, I would love to celebrate this new start with all of you. I’ll make a huge dinner—“
“Mary, you’ve barely returned from being infirmed,” Lee admonished.
“Don’t worry Doctor Jamison, we’ll take care of everything,” Claire assured him, and Magdalena agreed.
Despite obvious hesitance, he nodded. “I’m still in charge of your care, Mary,” he reminded her.
“Of course you are, doctor,” she agreed with a wink at Claire.
Chapter 23
The Hawarden Home | Philadelphia, PA
“Mary, you have a letter here from the University of Pennsylvania,” her mother announced, calling up the stairs.
“I’ll be right there!” Mary practically took the stairs two-by-two in her haste.
“Goodness, daughter, you act as though you are still but a child.”
“I’m still your child, mother,” Mary teased.
“Yes, well, it won’t do any of us any good if you fall and break your leg, now, will it?” She scolded as she handed the letter to Mary. “Well, go on, open it,” her mother grinned in spite of herself.
“It’s an invitation,” Mary could barely keep the excitement out
of her voice. “Lee Jamison has invited me to be his guest at a lecture.”
“How lovely!” Her mother exclaimed. “We’ll have to go shopping and find a suitable dress. We could go today, in fact, Mary.”
“Mother, it isn’t for two weeks so we have plenty of time.”
“One cannot be too early or prepared for occasions such as these, my daughter.” Then in a rare moment of emotion, her mother placed her hand on Mary’s arm and squeezed. “It’s good to have you home, Mary. We missed you.”
Tears jumped into Mary’s eyes. “I missed you and father, too, mother.”
As quickly as it happened, her mother’s emotion evaporated. “Now if we could just get Claire and Sullivan to move here, life would be just perfect,” her mother exclaimed as she moved to the parlor.
Mary held the invitation up to her chest and twirled. Oh, she mustn’t get her hopes up that this was anything more than a polite gesture from Doctor Jamison to a former patient, but try thought she might to dissuade herself, the joy she felt wouldn’t die. She was positive this day couldn’t get any more perfect.
* * *
Susan Jamison greeted Eloise at the door. “Come in Eloise, you’re right on time and Cook has just finished blueberry scones.” Susan ushered her friend into the parlor and closed the French doors. “So tell me, how are you?”
“Well, I’ve been better.”
“What do you mean?”
“We received a telegram three weeks ago from Mary Hawarden releasing the farm to us, so now we own a farm in Texas.”
Susan swallowed before commenting. “I’m so sorry, Eloise, you must have been so disappointed. How is Gerald taking this?”
“He threw a fit. He’d counted on using the farm as leverage to gain her as his wife, and when she declined—well, I don’t dare tell you what he did!”
CHARMED Boxed Set 1, Hero Hearts Historical: Inspirational Western Romance Page 28
