The Year of Second Chances

by Jessica Sorensen

  Not knowing what else to do, I stand up and position myself in front of him.

  He angles his chin to look up, the cocky grin playing on his lips. "So, this is your move?"

  I shake my head and sweep my hair out of my eyes. I'm rocking skinny jeans and a black tank, not a sexy outfit by any means, but I pretend to be all seductive like I've seen Indigo do a thousand times and swing a leg on each side of him, straddling his lap.

  The stunned look on his face makes me want to giggle, but I bite it back.

  "So, I've been thinking"--I rest my hand on his shoulders--"about you and me and how amazing we could be together. Like seriously. I bet kissing you would be way better than any other guy I've kissed." I nibble on my bottom lip, drawing his attention to my mouth. Heck, yeah, score one for me! "But the only way to find that out is for us to kiss. It doesn't have to mean anything. I mean, we can just try it, right?"

  His hands drop to my waist, delving his fingers into the sliver of skin peeking out from the hem of my shirt.

  "Fuck, yeah, we can," he all but growls.

  I'm starting to give my "ha-ha I won" smile when he leans in.

  Wait? What? I thought we were just playing around. Tell him you were just playing around!

  Instead of listening to my thoughts, I remain frozen as his mouth inches closer to mine.

  Okay, I really did mean what I said. I want to find out what a real kiss with him would be like. I want to kiss him, touch him. I want him to do the same thing to me.

  Oh, my God, I'm a goner.

  Indigo once told me that being completely in love with a guy felt like skydiving, something she's done once and something I'll never do. But that's really beside the point. The point is that she said being in love is like falling out of a plane. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you have this fear inside you that your parachute isn't going to open, that the person won't love you back. I'm not sure if I'm in love yet--I'm pretty clueless about love in general--but I'm definitely getting the whole falling vibe right now, like I'm about to dive and am unsure if I really want to.

  My heart slams in my chest as his lips near mine. I start to magnetize toward him. His lips are so close. I can't wait to--

  My phone rings from on the coffee table behind us, and both of us jerk back. We exchange a wide-eyed look of astonishment as the phone rings again.

  His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows. "Are you going to answer that?"

  "Um ..." Does he want me to answer that? Do I want me to answer it? No, I kind of want to go back to what we were doing. But the idea of asking him to kiss me again when I clearly know that I'm not pretend flirting makes my cheeks flame. "Um, I should probably get that in case it's Indigo or something."

  He nods, biting down on his bottom lip.

  It takes all of my effort to drag my ass off his lap and answer my phone.

  "Hello?" I ask, sounding breathless.

  "Hey." Kyler's voice fills the line. "Were you just running or something? You sound out of breath."

  I chuckle nervously. "Me run? Yeah, right, what a funny, funny joke."

  "You should try coming with me sometime. It can actually be really fun if you go to the right places or have great company," he says. "Maybe we could go sometime next week."

  My gaze drifts to Kai. "Um ..."

  "Who is it?" he whispers, his brows furrowed.

  I don't know what kind of look I pull, but he manages to figure out the caller simply by assessing my expression.

  "Oh." He cracks his knuckles against the sides of his legs. "Gotcha. My dumbass brother."

  I give him a pressing look, wanting to shout, No! You don't get it! You have no idea at all! But he looks away and fixes his attention on his phone.

  "I don't know if I'll ever be the running type," I tell Kyler. "But if you want to do something, we could go get some coffee or some ice cream. There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, anyway."

  I sense Kai stiffen beside me, and I feel like the biggest jerk. Yep, that's me: Princess Isa, ruler of the Kingdom of Jerks.

  "Yeah, I've been wanting to tell you some stuff, too." His voice changes, the playful, flirty tone turning serious. "I've sent you a few texts, trying to get you to meet up with me, but you haven't answered."

  "There's been a lot going on ... with school and stuff."

  "Yeah, I know. I heard about what happened at school, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm a great listener."

  The fact that he knows about what happened at school when he doesn't even go there makes me too aware of how horrible school is going to be on Monday.

  "Thanks," I say. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it, but I appreciate the offer."

  "Okay, well, just know that I'm here whenever you're ready," he tells me. "I mean that with everything, too. If there's anything at all you ever need to talk about, anything at all, you can come to me. Like maybe if you want to talk about what's going on with your mom--your real mom, I mean. I know that has to be hard for you, knowing she's in prison... I heard she might be getting out, though. Is that true?"

  His questions leave a foul taste in my mouth. Why would he bring this up with me? He barely knows me at all. And why ask if she's getting released.

  "I'm really not sure. About anything anymore." Which is the truth. In fact, the only thing I am sure of is Kai.

  I open my mouth to say goodbye when I hear a high pitched voice in the background say, "Are you doing it now?" The question is followed by a giggle. A giggle I'm almost positive I've heard before.

  Hannah? Is he with Hannah?

  Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe there's a girl there that sounds like Hannah. But something isn't sitting right with me.

  I tell him I have to go, and he hurries and sets up a meet-up time to get ice cream on Friday at seven after I get off work. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him or how he's going to react, but my stomach rolls with nervousness just thinking about it.

  "So, you decided to go out on a date with him," Kai says after I hang up. "That's cool."

  I balance the phone on the armrest and turn toward him. "Is it?"

  He shrugs with his gaze trained on his phone, punching buttons. "I don't know. I can't read what's going on inside your head. But I figure you wouldn't go on a date with him if you didn't want to."

  "It's not a date," I tell him quickly. "At all."

  "Just like the last time you guys hung out wasn't?" He rolls his eyes. "Honestly, I'm starting to think you might be a little confused over what dates really are."

  "I know what a date is, and that's not what we're doing." I slump back on the sofa with a loud exhale. "If anything, we're going on an un-date."

  His fingers stop moving, and he glances at me curiously. "An un-date?"

  I shrug. "I don't know what else to call it."

  "But what is it exactly?" He sets his phone down on his leg and fixes his complete attention on me. "I mean, what are you guys doing?"

  "We're going out for ice cream." I pick at the chipped lilac nail polish on my fingernails. "And then I'm going to tell him that I think we should just be friends and not go out on dates."

  "So, you're breaking up with him?"

  "I wouldn't really call it breaking up since we were never really together."

  "And it's just that easy for you to do that? To let go of the guy you've been in love with"--he rolls his eyes again--"forever?"

  I scrape the last layer of nail polish off my thumb then let my hand fall to my lap. "I don't think I was ever in love with Kyler. He was just my first real crush, and I didn't want to let that dream go ... But now I feel ... I don't know." I shrug. "I'm over it, I guess."

  He studies me intently before redirecting his gaze back to his phone. "Well, I think it's a good thing."

  I study him as he becomes engrossed in his phone. "You do, do you?"

  "Yeah, sure." He tries to act all blase, but his lips threaten to turn upward. "I know he's my
brother, but the guy's an asshole, and you deserve so much better."

  "I don't think he's an asshole," I say, but I'm not so sure anymore. "And I still want to try to be friends with him." Well, I used to. I really don't know anymore.

  He shakes his head. "Yeah, I don't think you should do that."

  I grow apprehensive. "Why not? Because you don't like him? Or is it something else?" Do you know he's spending time with Hannah?

  "No, because ..." He drops the phone on the cushion and takes ahold of my hand, threading his fingers through mine. "Look, just trust me on this, okay? Go have ice cream with Kyler, tell him what you need to say, and then cut ties with him ... And be careful while you're with him. If anything seems weird, call me."

  "Kai, you're worrying me. Is there something you're not telling me? Because on the phone... Kyler was asking me questions about my mom, and I swore I heard Hannah in the background... It could've been my imagination... but I don't know."

  The muscle in his jaw ticks. "You thought you heard Hannah?"

  I nod. "Is there something going on that I don't know about?" Is Kyler dating my sister and just messing around with me?

  Kai swallows hard. "There are a lot of things I'm not telling you, but you'll just have to trust me."

  "That's a huge thing to ask a person. Trusting someone isn't something I do very easily."

  "I know that." He carries my gaze. "But the question is, do you trust me?"

  It feels like his question holds an underlying meaning, a huge, epic, relationship changing meaning. Still, I find myself easily nodding.

  "Yeah, I do trust you," I admit. "A lot."

  He smiles, and I mirror his reaction.

  "Why do you two look stoned?" Grandma Stephy startles both of us, and we both jump back from each other as she enters the living room.

  Crap, I didn't even hear her come in!

  Kai goes back to texting on his phone while I act as chillaxed as I can, kicking back on the sofa and throwing her sassy attitude back at her.

  "So, what have you and Harry been up to for the last hour?" I ask nonchalantly.

  She waggles her brows at me as she runs her hands across her shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles. "You really want me to answer that?"

  I make an ew face. "Um ... no, thanks."

  She grins, combing her fingers through her hair. "Then don't ask." She wanders into the kitchen and begins pulling out ingredients to make a cake.

  While I love cake, I know she's baking one right now because that's what she does every time she and Harry go at it. How do I know this? Because the last time I asked her why she was baking a cake for no apparent reason, she explained to me with way too much detail that, "Harry loves to have some sugar after I give him some sugar." She winked at me. "If you know what I mean."

  "Have you heard from Indigo at all?" I ask, getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen.

  Shaking her head, she takes out a large mixing bowl and sets it on the counter. "Not since yesterday."

  "I hope everything went okay with her mom." I sink down onto a barstool. "I hope she was able to get her mom checked into rehab. And I hope she didn't stress out all night over that nightmare"

  She collects the flour from the pantry. "I'm sure she's fine. I tried to call her a couple of times, but she's such a weirdo sometimes about accepting help. I'm not that surprised, though. All of my granddaughters turned out to be little weirdoes." She winks at me. "I am your grandma, after all."

  I give an exaggerated nod. "You are pretty weird."

  "Yep, I am." She grabs the sugar from the cupboard above the stove. "So's your little guy friend over there. That's why I like him so much."

  Kai pauses from texting and shoots me the most adorably pleased grin. "She likes me," he mouths with a giant-ass grin.

  I roll my eyes, but on the inside, I'm thinking, So do I, cute boy, so do I.

  Turning back to my grandma, I watch her measure cups of flour and dump them into the bowl. "How about my dad?"

  She stops mid-pour and glances up at me. "What about him?"

  I trace a crack in the countertop. "Have you heard from him at all?"

  She sets the measuring cup down. "I actually heard from him yesterday, too. I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but we haven't had a chance to talk alone."

  Kai gets up. "I have to make a call. I'll be outside." He walks out the front door, giving my grandma and me some privacy, though I'll more than likely tell him whatever she tells me because he's starting to really become my go-to person.

  "So, what'd he say?" I ask after a heartbeat or two goes by.

  She presses her lips together, seeming anxious. "He had a lot to say, actually." She sets the measuring cup down and reaches over to put her hand on mine. "I guess this whole thing with his company being under investigation has gotten pretty out of hand. There are some fraud charges going on against the company, and it looks like they're going to lose the house over it."

  My eyes pop wide. "What?"

  She nods. "I'm so sorry, Isa. I know you aren't on the best of terms with your father, but that was the house you grew up in. It has to be hard to hear this."

  I swallow the emotional lump wedged in my throat. "I guess it is." I suck in a breath and slowly let it out. "I'm actually kind of conflicted. On one hand, I feel bad. But on the other ... Well, that house really doesn't carry too many good memories for me."

  "Oh, sweetie." Worry fills her eyes, and I realize I'm crying.

  "I'm sorry." I wipe my eyes with my hand, but more tears pour out. "I don't even know why I'm crying."

  She doesn't say anything, just walks around the kitchen island and folds me in a bear hug. She hugs me while I bawl my eyes out, only letting me go when I finally calm down.

  "Better?" she asks, and I nod. "Good." She forces a tense smile.

  "There's more, isn't there?" I ask through a sniffle.

  She hesitantly nods. "But it can wait if you don't think you can take any more today."

  I shake my head. "I want to know.

  She sighs and heads back to her mixing bowl. "I'm going to make this while I finish telling you. That way, when I'm done, there'll be a yummy cake to put in the oven." She picks up the measuring cup and adds another scoop of flour. "After your father told me about the house, I asked him about what happened to your mom. When he refused to tell me, I told him about the stuff Kai found out."

  "Let me guess." I struggle to keep my voice even. "He denied it was true."

  Shaking her head, she reaches across the counter and pats my hand. "He broke down, sweetie. He started crying and told me she was in jail, that he felt guilty she was there."

  My stomach ravels into tight knots. "Guilty? Why?"

  "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. But it's definitely true ... what Kai found. And there's more..." She gulps. "I found out who your mom was accused of... killing."

  "I know that already," I say in a strained voice. "Kai found out about it a few days ago."

  "How did he..." She shakes her head. "You know what. Never mind. I don't want to know." She sighs heavily. "So, how are you feeling about all of this? I know that might be a dumb question."

  "I'm fine," I lie, picking at a crack in the countertop. "But grandma...How did you not know about Lynn's son? Didn't you ever meet him?"

  She shakes her head, her jaw ticking. "Your dad met Lynn right after we got into a huge fight over some inherited money. He thought he was owed more, which he wasn't. And the papers were proof of that. But your dad being your dad... Well, he got upset and cut me out of his life for quite a while. We didn't talk for a long time and by the time he finally came back into my life, things had already happened." Her hands tremble. "I don't know why your father chose to keep all of this a secret. I really don't. Whether he was protecting you or if there's more to the story than even we know."

  "I wonder that too." Worry and anger stir inside me.

  My dad kept so much from everyone. But why? To protect me? For some rea
son, I feel doubtful. And why did he tell my grandma that he felt guilty? Guilty over what? I need to find out what happened. And not from the papers on Kai's phone. Not from any papers, period. I need to find out from the person who knows what really happened.

  "Grandma ... I have to ask you for a favor. A huge favor, actually."

  She hesitates, reluctant. "Okay."

  I summon a deep breath. "I want to go visit my mom."

  Her expression crumbles. "I don't really think that's such a good idea."

  My heart aches with disappointment. "Why not?"

  "Because she's in jail. And it's far away. And ..." She cleans off the flour on her hands with a dishrag. "I just really don't want you going there."

  "But I need to talk to her," I practically beg, tears welling in my eyes again. "I need to hear her side of the story; otherwise, it's going to drive me crazy ... And I want to meet her ... I don't even remember her at all. What kind of a daughter does that make me?"

  She rubs her hand across her forehead, leaving a trail of flour on her skin. "I don't want you going to a jail to talk to her, but what I can do is get ahold of some people and see if we can arrange a phone call."

  While I want to see her, I don't want to upset my grandma by doing so, so I nod, feeling a droplet of relief plink through me.

  "Thanks, grandma." I walk around the island and give her a hug. "I really appreciate it."

  She hugs me back. "You're welcome. I just hope this helps and doesn't make things worse."

  "It will," I say, hoping my words are true, hoping my mom is innocent.

  Deep down, a part of me fears that maybe she is guilty.

  Chapter 6

  Kai

  I can tell Isa's grandma wants to talk to her alone, so I wander outside to give them some privacy. I need to make a call, anyway. That part wasn't a lie. And it's a call I definitely don't want Isa to overhear.

  After I exit the apartment, I dial Kyler's number while hiking down the sidewalk toward nowhere in particular. The scent of rain lingers in the air, remnants of yesterday's crazy-ass rainstorm that flooded the grass and gutters, causing panic throughout the town. But the storm only lasted a few hours before the clouds cleared and the sun started working to dry up the mess.

  "Hello?" Kyler answers the phone, sounding exhausted.

  "You and I need to have a little chat." I get straight to the point.

  "About what?" He goes from exhausted to annoyed in two seconds flat.