Requiem

by E L Strife

  Rio chuckled. “I could show him sometime. There are a few tide pools topside. Besides, I like having him around. I’m learning from him too and can use an excuse for a break now and then.” He leaned forward on his knees, rubbing his face in his hands. “I’ve been in the office so much I’m starting to think I should move in.”

  Arising from the bed, she walked to the door, picking up the bag of things Rio bought in town. “Thank you for watching him. I may need you to. We have quite the task ahead of us.”

  “Nakio,” he called out. “How are you holding up? There’ve been a lot of changes in the last week and a half.”

  It didn’t matter how, only if she held it together. “I am functioning within operational parameters.”

  After a calculating scan of her, his eyes narrowed.

  She set the bag back down. “Exhausted and sore. I’m as conscious during rest as I am awake. Bennett’s going through a major transition I have to help with. Azure doesn’t like it when I work with Bennett. I don’t understand why he’s so moody.” She hesitated. “Bennett is just generally emotional for a shepherd.”

  “I’ve never seen him this stable since he started.”

  What? Her curiosity made her sit back at Rio’s side.

  He hid his mouth behind a hand then waved it away from him in a helpless gesture. “He didn’t hit the Passive phase until almost the end of the Initiation month window. I had to synthesize a special formula and dosage for him.” His arm flopped into his lap. “That first week he was on, he was so mechanical in his operations. I felt awful like I’d destroyed this beautiful, sensitive creature.” Rio’s lips pursed flat for a sullen moment. “Jameson cares for you. I know it just in how he looks at you.”

  “He’s a Team Leader. He watches out for everyone,” she stated. Some part of her hoped if she pretended like he didn’t care so much, she wouldn’t have to deal with how torn she felt inside.

  He shook his head. “Bennett knows he has to protect you. He’s not human.”

  She straightened then wondered why it had startled her Rio knew. Of course, he did. He had the same security clearance as Command.

  “His father was destined to be a prospector. He told me one day, decades ago, in confidence. The Shepherds United was a different organization. Families were permitted then, but he had a falling out with Command. When he didn’t return with the Rescue, I figured he’d transitioned.”

  Anger flared through her, leaving her body hot and prickling. “Bennett’s had enough hidden from him.”

  Rio lifted his hands in defense. “I know a lot of secrets and say nothing because I can do more to help if I’m here. Command disregards secrets. I work around those private details without stating things explicitly. It’s how I protect all sides.”

  Her face tightened in confusion.

  “Command forced Senior to leave his family and the station because of what he was. It destroyed him.” He braced himself on the edge of the bed and checked on Kios, relaxing when he noted the boy’s attention still on the screen. “He moved to the remote island given to you. Refused to interact with anyone or stay too long at Home Station.” Rio looked back at her. “I’m the one who demanded we find Jameson Junior. I requested he keep his family name, knowing the house fire had taken the lives of his mother and brother.”

  He took a deep, shaky breath.

  “I have to confess this to you. I think it’s time. Your instructor, Sensei Edolin, was my brother and Bennett Senior’s co-shepherd. Senior was my best friend since we were the size of Kios. When they and Master Yashina died—” Rio trailed off, eyes shimmering with water. He coughed and cleared his throat. “I couldn’t, uh—” He folded one hand inside the other, cracking his knuckles. “I couldn’t entrust anyone else with you two.”

  Atana’s lips unsealed. Rio was an orphan like all of them, had lost his brother and his best friend, had no team, and bore the burden of Command’s secrets alone. She reached out and took one of his hands in hers.

  He let out a short breath, looking to their fingers in mild disbelief. “Agutra really did break your shell.”

  The warmth of his hand inside hers made her feel safe enough to admit failure. “Too many sources of disturbances to block them all out. With the obligations hanging over my head, I just don’t have the neurons to spare for every instance of necessary self-regulation.”

  “I understand that struggle, more than you know.” Swallowing audibly, he curled his hand around hers and closed his eyes. “Trust me when I say that Jameson cares with his whole being. He may not have had thirteen years, but he’ll fit thirteen years of love and kindness into thirteen seconds. Then he’ll be gone, never to be seen in this corner of the universe again.”

  “Never?” The word barely eked out through her bursting anguish.

  “One prospector for the universe cannot possibly spare much time for us.” Rio hummed a sad note to himself.

  Atana detached her focus from everything except the deepest pushes and pulls in her mind. There was a pleasant balancing of the energy and emotions within her when she was around Bennett, something natural, not ruled by time, experiences, or interests. Azure was familiar, comforting, their mutual trust and sympathy earned through years of trauma bonding. Bennett was different, a beacon of warmth in the chilled darkness of the space inside, always there, always had been, not needing her to prove anything to earn his devotion.

  Rio’s words dragged her back to reality. “I noticed that too.”

  Catching his slate-blue eyes on her, she spluttered, “I’ve been operating on instinct because I don’t understand the appropriate actions of emotional or social behavior.”

  He patted her hand. “There is only one major rule which seems to preside over most species not accounted for in the Code. If you are intimate with a male, if you mate with one, you cannot retract it or the feelings it will evoke. Per regulation, if you end up with a child, they would discharge you and the father from UP, to protect the child.”

  Atana stared at him, not surprised at his bluntness. But behind his practiced bearing, she saw a loneliness today she’d never noticed before. Considering Kio’s words, an idea curled her lips. “Maybe you should talk to this—Athia?”

  His forehead crinkled above widening eyes. “Don’t put ideas in my head.”

  Atana lifted a shoulder. “Tanner called this constructive teasing when I see something of repressed curiosity on a person’s face and I encourage it by acknowledging it. Your face reddened a little when you said her name earlier. You like her.”

  “Hush, Nakio.” Rio’s face betrayed his demand with a darkening blush. “There will be no more talk of Athia. This is my duty, here. My responsibility is to the shepherds.”

  “You’re a shepherd too.” She squeezed his hand. “You’ve always kept my secrets. I’ll keep yours.” After a nod from him, Atana let go and stood. “Kios, it’s time we let Rio sleep.”

  The boy hopped up from his chair and ran over to the man, slinging his arms around his waist. “Eih ahna.”

  Rio snugly returned the boy’s hug and looked up at her.

  She smiled, mouthing, thank you.

  As Atana picked up the bag and opened the door for Kios, Rio called to her.

  She stopped and glanced back.

  His eyes were pink with endearment. “Don’t waste time with the ones you love.”

  Chapter 52

  KIOS TOOK HER HAND unprompted as Rio’s door closed. “Who do you love, Sahara?”

  Atana stopped and looked down at him. He asked the most curious questions, always concerned with feelings and family. “I don’t know. I don’t think I understand love.”

  He lifted his hands in the air, and she bent over to pick him up, despite her aching body. Situating him on her hip, Atana carried him down the hall toward her room, the bag hooked over her wrist.

  “You don’t have to understand love. You have to feel it.” The boy clung to her shoulder, his head swiveling at the passing shepherds.

&n
bsp; She inspected his starry-night eyes as he bounced in her arms with each step. “I’m not used to feelings either, Kios.”

  “You know it.” He looked back to her and patted his tummy. “Veriia onas il verons.”

  “Life’s instinct is love. Very true, Kios.” Azure’s booming voice caught her off guard. He sidled up next to them. “How’s our young warrior doing today?”

  Kios immediately reached for Azure.

  “Where were you going?” he asked as Atana lifted the boy up to him.

  Kios ran his hands over the large thermo-stripes around Azure’s neck then snuggled up against his chest. The boy never did such things with Atana during the day. She figured it because she hid her markings, making her as unfamiliar as any other shepherd to him.

  “The room to drop off this stuff then the lab. I’m borrowing Teek from you for a bit.”

  She could feel the heat radiating from Azure’s body when he leaned in, without him even touching her.

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  “No. I won’t pull you from a Command-assigned task. I told Teek I would show him the lab. I figured you might need him to manufacture some components at some point since he’s so good at it.”

  “Oh.” He nodded to himself, his tone less convincing. “I will take Kios then. I’m heading to talk with the doku in the main hangar. We have a few discrepancies in unit conversions between languages I need to set straight.” He slumped beneath his dirty blue work shirt until a male shepherd, passing in the hallway, another with bright sapphire eyes, snagged his attention.

  Azure’s nostrils flared. He hunkered forward with a glare, a soft rumble escaping his ribs.

  Tracking Azure’s focus, Atana watched the sergeant jerk his gaze from her waist to the source of the deep sound. The man visibly swallowed and refocused on the distant lunchroom, increasing the pace of his steps.

  “Azure,” she scolded. “You can’t do that here.”

  Dragging his gaze back to her, Azure stopped growling. “Sorry. Instinct is hard to prevent.” His ears tensed backward. “I will find you later to discuss the parts I need for collector modifications.”

  When he spun toward the elevators, the disappointment loosening his stride made her lunge out and snag his elbow. He warily turned to face her. Opening her mouth, she hesitated, not having a plan ready to explain her action. Her instinct had made the demand.

  “What’s—on your mind?” she asked.

  Azure glanced around them and took a step closer. His careful inspection of her sent a hot flush cascading down her spine. Code said it was wrong, but she couldn’t help the way his familiar tower of muscles and new, shower-clean scent tugged at the primal parts of her brain. His skin held fresh, juicy notes, with the pungent, musky undertone a Xahu’ré male in his prime carried. She traced up his boxy jaw to the planes of his hardened, scarred face landing on the torches for eyes that could make her do anything in a single glance.

  Uncertainty clipped his words. “Do you think any of this will work with the state both our homes are in?”

  Kios stared down at her in similar doubt, though she didn’t think he understood the gravity of Azure’s question.

  “I never anticipate things working.” Atana rested her hands on the web-belt holding her SIs to her hips. Steadying herself, she internally hushed the rapid beat in her chest, reconsidering a visit to Rio for serum. “But I fight with every ounce, every day. I set up the plan and expect it to fail, then install backup measures until I run out of weaknesses to strengthen.”

  The answer made him sigh, nod, and look away. She’d used the same system when they were younger.

  “What specifically concerns you?” she asked. “The fact that Earth houses Verros along with numerous species, not human?” She paused, eyeing his features for any sign of a nerve struck. Nothing. “The potential traitors in our Universal Protectors?” Still, no movement. Of course not. Verros were common traitors to him. “Agutra and Earth merging forces in battle?”

  A slight lift of a cheek told her she was on the right path.

  “The collectors being capable of fighting the Kyras when they get here?”

  His eyes zigzagged across the gray floor, working over a project she couldn’t see. It was too early to know that for sure, however unlikely that was to begin with.

  “You’re concerned we’re too divided, different, to unite in time?” She tilted her head and watched him fixate on Kios. He was repressing something intense and raw inside with a distraction. “Are you doubting our knowledge of the Suanoan forces coming for us?”

  The anxious, frustrated sway of his body and how he wiped the frown from his face with a hand, leaving his expression blank, said more than words. He had, clearly, accounted for those things, knew the risks and costs for the chance at a future with continued freedom.

  This was deeper, personal. The thought brought back old fears and regrets beneath pangs of failure. It was about her.

  “All of it!” Azure finally bellowed then waved a dismissive hand in the air. “None of it.”

  Without warning, Kios grabbed Azure’s darkened cheeks and pulled their foreheads together. Azure inhaled sharply, his shoulders rising and falling with his eyelids. They lingered in a private moment for several breaths.

  “I know, Kios. Thank you for the reminder.”

  Atana stared, tongue-tied and confused. She hadn’t heard their thoughts in Ether and wished she had. Kios had stolen Azure’s anger in a matter of seconds.

  Meeting her eyes with doting sincerity, Azure hooked her hand with his, shifting in until mere molecules separated their bodies. His lips tucked inward a moment before parting in preparation. Kios watched from his arm.

  “I am concerned the Suanoa will find out.” Azure squeezed her fingers, kicking her heart rate up a notch. “About you, Bennett, and Kios.”

  An inexplicable knot formed in her throat. “Why us?”

  Azure looked down at the boy. “Because you’re special in a way no others are in the entire universe.” His jaw slacked and jutted to a side. “I don’t want to think about what they’ll do.” One of his fingers grazed the surface of her palm. “To you.”

  The lightness of his touch sent a shiver through her arm that didn’t stop until it invaded every muscle. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Just—” He let out a forceful breath. “There’s too much to explain. I’ll remind you later. For now, please trust me.” Azure lifted their hands, uncaring of the shepherds walking by. All shades of blue sparks ignited between their palms. “This is a weapon Suanoa do not have. They are like humans. They will destroy what they fear before they take the time, the risk, to understand it.”

  Weaving her fingers between his, Atana tamped out the hot sparks with a squeeze. “You’re one of us, you know.” A corner of her mouth curled. “Yanir sim niveriia vehr, ria’ii nux alatus dak giat’ii.”

  Chapter 53

  BENNETT TREMBLED IN HIS SLEEP. Another thundering boom rattled around inside his skull.

  His eyes had glazed over while staring at the screen in the Tactical lab, the specifications of Agutra blurring together in his mind. He’d hoped a five-minute break to sit in the silence of his room would help clear his thoughts enough to refocus. He should’ve known better. Should’ve anticipated the exhaustion would rule his body.

  Bennett tried to fight the dream at first and wake himself. He had plans to work on—things to do. But the images he saw were unusually crisp, awakening a rude urgency in his heart. They sank teeth into bone. He folded on instinct. This was exigent. Fate changing. Supernatural.

  Flames burst up from the HVAC systems in the hallway where Bennett stood. Metal trusses jutted out from the collapsed ceiling, the lights flickering as they swung from their cords. Sparks sprayed from the shredded wiring.

  A shepherd shouted behind him, “No, they’re all down. Levels Eight and Nine are compromised, flooded out. Emergency storm doors have failed. Everyone is drowning!”

 
Bennett tilted his head. “Tanner?”

  The sergeant didn’t respond when he sprinted past and into a lunchroom. Bennett felt no gust of wind in the young man’s wake. Following him around the corner into the lunchroom, Bennett stopped when Tanner collapsed to the floor, collecting a lifeless magenta Primvera. Pulling her to his chest, he cried out, his face contorted in anguish.

  A piece of Bennett’s heart stung in empathy.

  Beyond Tanner, Josie and Panton were out cold by the observation window, riddled with bullets. Cutter lay draped over a table, blood running from his back. Imara, Ramura, and Lavrion were slumped, piled up in a corner, their bodies shredded like they’d been put through a blender.

  At the scraping of thin metal against itself, Bennett looked to his feet.

  A Linéten blade-ball rolled past, the rings still gyrating, a white-chrome orb hovering in its center. It swished to a stop in a puddle of blood.

  He tracked a red trail into a private conference room. Bennett felt it, knew he didn’t want to go in there. His curiosity compelled him—and something deeper. Something at the core of his cells told him he had to.

  Shifting reluctantly into the opening, he saw the back of her head, her soft waves soaked in the puddle beneath her frozen face. The scars on her exposed neck, above her leather collar, were enough to convince him of who she was. Azure lay at her side, his trembling fingers touching her lifeless chin with his last breath.

  The frantic beat of Bennett’s heart seized his insides as he gazed upon the death and destruction around him.

  A broad horn sounded, quaking the structure he was in. He looked back to the observation windows to see the glass fracture, the silhouette of a massive ship behind. Frigid ocean water burst into the hall, swallowing him alive.

  The pressure crushed the air from his lungs as he tumbled in the waves, fighting to orient himself, to understand, to stop it, to breathe.