His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue

by Allison, Wesley

  “Um, I was just trying to read your tattoo,” he said.

  A small thin line of script ran from her sternum, curving first down and then over and back up as it followed the underside of her left breast.

  “When you start to live outside yourself, it’s all dangerous,” he read. “I don’t think I know that quote.”

  “It’s from The Garden of Eden, by Earnest Hemingway. Do you mind if we join you?”

  Mike waved to the two lounges to his right. Bella sat down closest to him and Delia took the farther chair.

  “I haven’t read that book,” said Mike. “I like Hemingway though.”

  “I haven’t read it either,” said Bella. “I just liked the quote. It was on the library wall at school.”

  Patience exchanged packets with Delia and compared their schedules.

  “I was about to bring out a light lunch for Mike,” she said. “Would you like to join us?”

  “You’re going to eat here by the pool?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right then. Delia knows what I want. You two can coordinate.” Bella ran a hand through her short brown hair. “What were you watching, Mike?”

  “Oh, something very literary and you know… weighty. Certainly not a superhero movie.”

  “Superheroes? I’ve heard of them. Boys like them. I only know one: Batman. Were you watching Batman? It was Batman, wasn’t it?”

  “I was watching Watchmen.”

  “Is it like Batman?”

  “As a matter of fact, it is a little. How about I loan it to you?” He punched in a ‘lend.’ “There.”

  “Thanks, but I probably won’t watch it for a while. There are too many things to do here. Tomorrow, I’m taking dance lessons. Then the next day, Delia and I are taking the copter to Adelaide. We’re going to Palmerland and ride the world’s highest roller coaster. Do you want to come?”

  “Not even a little bit,” said Mike.

  “What was it you studied in school,” Patience asked Bella, knowing full well the answer.

  “Education. I was planning on becoming a teacher.”

  “Good God, don’t do that,” said Mike.

  “Oh, I’m not going to. I’ve got a very nice job lined up with a textbook company. They sent headhunters to school and they convinced me. I’ve already signed the contract.”

  “Good pay?” asked Mike.

  “Not bad—435.”

  “Four thirty-five? As in $435,000?”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “Well that was a good choice. You know that is about ten times what they paid me when I started teaching.”

  “That was probably a long while ago though, right?” said Bella.

  Mike stared at her.

  “Our lunches are here,” announced Patience as a Daffodil crewmen set out their meals on a nearby table with four upright chairs.

  Moving to the table, they took their places. Mike sat on Patience’s right, while Bella was on her left, and Delia was directly across from her. Patience had ordered Mike a cob salad with heirloom tomatoes and a glass of lemonade. She ordered water for herself. The plates before Bella and Delia were identical—small squid, stuffed with oysters. They quickly dived into their meals.

  “Does Delia eat all the time?” Mike asked Bella.

  “Sure. It just seems more natural.”

  “It’s a waste of food though, since she really doesn’t need it.”

  “Well, it’s not like there are starving people in the world.”

  “Yes, there are,” said Mike. “There are about three billion of them.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, her little bit won’t make any difference.”

  “I love your hair,” Patience said to Delia. “What shade is it exactly?”

  Delia looked across at her and answered “strawberry blond number 29” with a nonverbal signal.

  “Strawberry blond number 29,” Patience repeated with a small frown. She turned to Bella. “I see you’re going to the spa in 31 minutes. Mike and I will be staying here. Perhaps we will see you tonight at the show.”

  “Maybe. Does anyone want dessert?”

  Patience saw that both of the other women had finished their food. Mike was eating much slower than usual. He was only halfway through his salad. She realized that his slow speed was probably due to the inordinate amount of attention he was paying to Bella’s bare breasts.

  “Mike, did you want dessert?” she asked him.

  “Can’t think… I can’t think of anything… um, no. No dessert for me. I had a big breakfast.” He looked up at the brunette’s face. “We had room service this morning—biscuits and gravy.”

  “I’m going for a swim,” said Bella. “Have a great afternoon.”

  She got up and walked toward the pool. Mike’s eyes followed her all-but-bare bottom. Patience noticed that he was not the only one. Delia’s robot eyes never left her human’s form. She watched her until she dived into the pool. Then she sent a nonverbal send-off signal to Patience and got up without acknowledging Mike at all. He didn’t seem to notice her terseness, but just watched her swaying form. Then he turned his attention back to his salad.

  “Good salad.”

  “Nice ass too,” said Patience.

  He nodded and shrugged.

  “What were you about to say before?” she wondered.

  “What?”

  “When I asked you if you wanted something for dessert, you were about to say something else. What were you about to say?”

  “Honestly. Looking at Bella’s nipples, the only dessert I could think of was Jujubes, and I really didn’t want any. They get stuck in your teeth.”

  “The human brain is a very odd thing,” said Patience.

  “What were you saying about a show at…?” His voice trailed off as another almost nude woman walked past. “Um… a show tonight?”

  “I thought you wanted me to handle the itinerary?”

  “Fine, don’t tell me. But what are we doing now?” He pushed away his still not finished salad and took a long drink of his lemonade.

  “I scheduled twenty seven more minutes here at poolside, followed by two hours in the casino.”

  “Casino, huh? Well, change of plans. Let’s go back up to our room.”

  They left the solarium and walked down a long, wide hallway past one of the casinos. Reaching the elevators, they headed for the Sangria Deck.

  “I thought you were enjoying the poolside, Mike,” said Patience. “You certainly seemed to enjoy ogling the women.”

  He took her arm and pulled her to him, cupped the back of her head with his other hand, and kissed her deeply on the lips.

  “Oh,” she said simply, when he had broken the kiss.

  He looked into her eyes.

  “I don’t do this enough. You really are beautiful, you know.”

  “You have to think that,” she said. “You customized my appearance on the Daffodil website.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I mean, you really are beautiful, but when I look into your eyes, I can see how beautiful you are inside.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” she replied, as the elevator door opened and they stepped out. “My eyeballs have a solid coating on the back. You would have to open me up to see my insides.”

  Several people waited to step aboard and the two of them had to go around, momentarily separating from each other. When Mike had caught up with Patience and started down the hall beside her, he said. “I mean your soul.”

  “Do you suppose I have one?”

  “I’m sure you do,” he said, “though I’m not so sure about me.”

  He quickly reached up and yanked the ties on her top, pulling it off.

  “You’re very naughty,” she said, raising her hands in the slightest demonstration of modesty. “Come on, you.”

  Patience ran down the hall and into the stateroom. It took Mike a full 14 seconds to catch up and enter the room, where he found her
nude, twirling her bikini bottom on her fingertip. Clasping her face in his hands, Mike kissed her again. She could feel his breath in her mouth and it made her feel for a moment as though she had her own.

  “Close the door,” she ordered.

  “Maybe I want people to watch,” he said, but turned back and closed, then locked, the door.

  By the time he turned back around again, she was in the center of the bed, legs straight up in the air. She opened and closed them, scissors-like several times, while he peeled off his trunks. Then she bent them at the knee and rocked back so that her knees were up near her shoulders. Mike climbed onto the bed and captured her left foot in his hand. He kissed his way up her calf and her thigh.

  “You don’t need to tease me. I’m ready for you.”

  “Don’t spoil my fun,” he said, tucking his knees on either side of her buttocks.

  She knew from his smile that he was joking. She recognized the arousal in his glazed eyes, as if she needed anything other than the prodding manhood to tell her. She reached down and guided it into her, watching as Mike’s eyes rolled back into his head.

  “Remember that I promised you something special if you befriended Ryan?” she asked.

  “Don’t make me remember anything,” he said, starting to pump in and out slowly. “I don’t have enough blood in my brain.”

  “Well, I promised, so here it is.” Patience began to rapidly contract and release her internal muscles, cycling them more and more quickly.

  “Oh God,” said Mike, slamming down so hard that it seemed like he was trying to climb into her, penis first.

  He made two or three quick movements and then just dropped down onto her. His eyes were clenched tightly shut. Seeing his mouth right above hers, Patience latched her own onto it. She stuck in her tongue as far as possible. His eyes opened and they stared into each other as his body shuddered violently to orgasm. She kept kissing him until he went completely limp.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, she asked, “So, did you enjoy that?”

  He made a kind of whimpering sound. Then he took five or six deep breaths.

  “Holy shit, Patience. What the hell was that?”

  “Did you enjoy that, Mike?”

  “I’m tempted to ask why you never did that before, but if you had back… you know, when we first met… I probably would have died of a heart attack.”

  “It’s something I just learned,” she said, licking his ear. “I didn’t know how to do it five years ago. In fact, I didn’t know about it until this trip.”

  “No? What about… you know… when you said what you said.”

  “I have a theoretical knowledge of several thousand techniques and positions that we have yet to try. When I promised you something special for being a friend to Ryan, I was thinking of performing one of them for you. This technique was something that wouldn’t be found in the databases, because it is something that a human woman couldn’t do.”

  “Then where did you get it?”

  “It was in a packet exchange I got from one of the flight attendants. For some reason they have an especially large repertoire of sexual activities. Would you like me to perform in this manner often, Mike?”

  “Yes. No. Wait a minute.” He lifted himself up on his hands and knees, but Patience still held him with her arms and legs. Reaching down, he unhooked her feet. Then he looked down at where their pelvises were joined. “Just checking to make sure it’s still there. Um, maybe this is something you should save for special occasions.”

  Ten minutes later, after Patience had cleaned them both up and helped him back into his swimsuit, Mike was asleep in a lounger on the balcony. Patience put a towel over his feet, the only part of him completely exposed to the bright sun. She had just begun straightening up around the room when she detected Wanda nearby. Opening the door, she found the redhead and Ryan only a few feet away. Ryan looked completely exhausted, though Wanda was, not unsurprisingly, her bright and bubbly self.

  “Did you have fun at the water park?”

  Ryan gave a sigh and a nod.

  “It was so wonderful!” squealed Wanda. “You should have seen Ryan sliding down the big slide.”

  “It wasn’t really that big,” he said, pushing past her and opening their stateroom door. “I’ve been on bigger ones back home, but this was pretty cool because the movement of the ship added to the feeling.”

  “He looked so excited,” Wanda continued. “Like a little boy.”

  “Come on,” he said, pulling her arm. “Let’s go inside.”

  They stepped into their room and closed the door. Wanda continued an excited narrative of their activities, sent digitally to Patience, including videos of Ryan on each piece of water park equipment.

  “Sounds like they had fun,” said Mike from behind Patience.

  “Did Wanda wake you up, dear?”

  “How could she not?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. I’ve been sleeping too much on this trip already. Do you think we have time to go down to the spa before dinner? I could go for a massage.”

  “Lie down on the bed, Mike,” said Patience. “I can give you as good a massage as any Daffodil onboard.”

  At 7:00, Mike and Patience met Ryan and Wanda in the hall and walked together to the elevator. Fourteen minutes later, they were being led by a human maître-de through the Incubus Steakhouse. The restaurant was in the rear of the ship. Hanging out into the air and open on three sides to the sea breeze, it was almost like they were floating. They were quickly seated, but it was quite busy.

  “I’m starving,” said Ryan. “I was having too much fun to eat lunch today.”

  Mike nodded, but turned his attention to the menu.

  “As soon as you’ve decided what you want, Patience and I can send the orders,” said Wanda. “You don’t have to wait for a waiter.”

  “I know what I want,” said Ryan. “Iceberg wedge, prime filet medium, creamed spinach, crème brulee.”

  “What about you, Mike?” asked Patience.

  “Lobster bisque with cognac, filet medium well, potatoes, chocolate mouse cake.”

  The two robots sent their orders as soon as their men had spoken them. Then the four of them found themselves looking at each other, and not speaking for several minutes.

  “Well, this is fun,” said Mike, at last.

  Ryan laughed.

  “So what are you doing tomorrow?” he wondered. “I really want to go deep sea fishing. Then I thought I would try to get some of the casino’s money. Any of that sound fun?”

  “Mike and I won’t be able to join you,” said Patience. “We’re going speed boating.”

  “Really?” said Mike.

  Patience nodded.

  “That sounds like fun too,” said Ryan. “Maybe we could tag along with you. How many fit in a speedboat?”

  “I’m checking right now,” said Patience. “Yes, we can still get you booked. You’ll have your own boat. There, it’s done.”

  “Thank you, Patience.” Ryan gave Wanda a squeeze on the shoulder. “That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?”

  Wanda smiled with undiluted happiness.

  Their dinners arrived and both of the men expressed pleasure in their food choices. By the time they had finished the crème brulee and chocolate mouse cake, Patience could detect satisfied satiation from both of them.

  “Let’s hurry down to the showroom,” said Wanda. “I am quite excited to see Earth Intruders: The Musical.”

  “I like a show as much as the next guy,” said Ryan, “but I still don’t have any idea what this show is about.”

  “Nobody does,” said Mike.

  “Huh?”

  “It was a Broadway musical that came out about twenty years ago. It was a huge flop.”

  “Then why are they putting it on now, here on the cruise?”

  “It’s probably because it’s the Daffodil and Me cruise,” said Mike. “You know the whole thing w
ith Daffodils and Björk.”

  Ryan shook his head uncomprehendingly.

  “Björk was a singer from Iceland. It’s her music that the play is based on. Well, one of the guys who wrote the original robot code that Daffodil adapted…”

  “UREC,” added Patience.

  “Right. Well, he was a Björk fan and he inserted her into the code. All the Daffodil BioSoft is based on that code. Voila, all Daffodils love Björk, deep down in their little electronic hearts.”

  “Björk is a wonderful singer,” said Patience.

  “We should hurry,” said Wanda. “I do not want to miss the beginning.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Patience enjoyed the evening show immensely, as did Wanda. Mike seemed to enjoy it too, though Ryan seemed mostly confused by the mechanical polar bears and yaks, dancing sunflowers and vines, and summersaulting geishas. By the time the tectonic plates transformed into giant human faces, he was half asleep.

  Back in their room, Mike read for a while and then fell asleep. Patience had offered sex. In fact she had coyly teased him, but he had not recovered from that afternoon’s activities. Truthfully, she hadn’t expected it, but she would have welcomed it.

  After straightening the room and making sure that her husband was sleeping comfortably, Patience again felt that feeling of unusefullness. She decided to take a walk around the ship. There were quite a few human passengers still up and about. Some were having late snacks and some were dancing in the nightclubs. Quite a few were playing games in the casinos. When she made her way out onto the Promenade Deck however, she was surprised to see the number of unattended robots wandering around, apparently aimlessly. Some were standing near the railing and watching the moonlight reflect off the ocean waves, but others were moving randomly, exchanging packets with whomever they came into contact.

  As Patience walked beside the railing, she made eye contact with each of those she passed. The information they passed to her was innocuous and for the most part uninteresting—time, weather, schedules. She made cursory connections with an Amonte 2 and a Barone. The third robot she touched with her network connection though had something quite strange. There were several corruptions in his files. Patience gave him another glance, curling her nose in distaste as she realized she had wirelessly touched a Gizmo. He was one of the newer models and his outer workmanship was quite good. Tall and dark-haired, he had a chiseled jaw and a strong nose.