His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue

by Allison, Wesley

  “Is this going to be a thing now?” he asked 204 minutes later.

  She stared into his eyes, two inches from her own. “Would you enjoy sleeping together like this, Mike?”

  “I’m not complaining.”

  “Good.”

  “So, you haven’t decided yet?” he asked.

  “Haven’t decided what?”

  “You haven’t decided if you want to be a proper robot or a screwed-up human being.”

  “I’m not going to decide, Mike. I’m just going to be me.”

  “I think that’s a smart decision,” he said with a grin.

  Mike went jogging for the first time since his knee injury that morning and spent the rest of the day rearranging the garage so that he could assemble his workbench against the west wall. Patience had several packages to send, and then worked in her flowerbed. At 6:00, after getting cleaned up and dressed, they drove to Greendale and met Harriet, Jack, and Selma at Burger 21.

  “This is awesome,” said Jack, looking up at the animated menu board. “I’ll have a Bleu Moon Over California Burger—double regular, with fat fries and large drink.”

  “I’ll have a San Francisco Sourdough Burger—double junior, with sweet potato fries and a medium drink,” said Harriet. She handed baby Selma to her husband. “Here, take this and go find us a booth.”

  “I’ll go help Jack,” said Mike, following his son-in-law into the dining room. He called back over his shoulder. “You know what I want, right?”

  “One Damn Gouda Burger—double junior, with onion rings and a large drink.”

  “Are you going to have anything, Patience?” asked Harriet.

  “I think I will,” Patience replied. “One Classic Diner Burger—single junior, with skinny fries and water.”

  Patience paid for the food and the German robot clerk at the counter handed her their drink cups.

  “Go ahead and get the drinks,” said Harriet. “I’ll wait for the food.”

  Patience took the four cups to the fountain and filled them—Diet Pepsi for Mike and Harriet, Root Beer for Jack, and water for herself. Carrying the drinks into the dining room, she found Jack and Mike in a corner booth. Both had moved in, so that she and Harriet would have the outer seats. Between them was Selma in a baby seat. Patience placed the cups at the appropriate places. The baby immediately reached for the closest cup, but Mike moved it out of the way. Patience sat down next to her husband.

  “Look who I finally found!” They looked up to see Ryan’s former sister-in-law Jo Carey standing at the edge of their booth. “You ruined my life, you whore-bot! My husband kicked me out because of you! Now I’m going to make your life a living hell, just like mine!”

  “Back off, Bitch!” Mariah’s sister turned her head just in time to see Harriet’s fist flying toward her face.

  The impact of the punch echoed in the small restaurant. The woman, her mouth wide open and her hand covering her swelling eye, looked up at Harriet from the floor where she had fallen.

  “I know you from church.”

  “That’s right. You know me,” hissed Harriet. “And if I ever see you near anyone in my family again, I’ll show you what a nightmare really feels like.”

  Jo Carey climbed to her feet and scurried out of Burger 21.

  “What?” said Harriet, looking down at her family in the booth. They all looked up in surprise. Even little Selma stared up, eyes wide. Harriet turned to the table behind her and retrieved the tray of food she had placed there. No one said anything, as she passed out the burgers and fries to each of the diners. “And let that be a lesson to all of you,” she said, sitting down.

  Jack poured out a small pile of Cheerios for Selma as everyone else started in on their burgers.

  “That reminds me,” said Harriet, breaking the silence. “I was going to tell you about dip-shit’s sister the other day and I forgot.”

  “Whose sister?” asked Mike.

  “Jo’s. You know… Mariah Keller.”

  “What about her?”

  “She’s getting married. She’s marrying Bob Greely.”

  “Poor bastard,” said Mike.

  “Does she know that he’s not rich?” wondered Patience.

  “Yes, they found out about the lottery news ‘mistake’.” Harriet made air quotes. “Apparently he has enough money for her. I guess computer analysts make a decent living. They’re getting married in RCC next month.”

  “Does he know she’s a big old whore?” wondered Mike.

  “I gather some people from church filled him in,” said Harriet. “You know how guys are though. They believe what they want to believe.”

  “I wonder if she’ll at least wait until they’re married before she cheats on him,” said Mike.

  That night, Patience once again spent the whole night lying beside Mike. When he opened his eyes, he smiled at her.

  “I guess I’ll have to get used to having breakfast later.”

  “Don’t be silly, Mike. You usually don’t eat until you’ve had your shower.”

  “You’ve got me there.” He got up and slipped on his shorts, t-shirt, and shoes. “I’m going for a quick jog first.”

  Patience followed him down the stairs and was just behind him as he opened the door to find a man, his hand raised, just about to knock. He was a tall thin man with Asian features and wore a black suit.

  “Good morning, Mr. Smith. I don’t suppose you remember me.”

  “Archie Sheen,” said Mike. “I try to remember everybody who threatens me. Still a security guard?”

  “I was head of Daffodil Corporate… Security. Now I’m Vice President of Human/Robot Interaction.”

  “That’s nice for you. Now get the hell off my property.”

  Sheen smiled thinly. “I would really like to come in and talk to you and your wife.”

  “Give me one reason why we would want to talk to you.”

  Stepping to one side, Sheen gestured toward a very long yellow limousine parked at the curb. Standing beside it was a short, stylishly dressed, redhead.

  “Wanda?” said Patience, before rushing past both men and meeting the other Daffodil halfway across the yard.

  “Patience,” said Wanda, hugging her tightly. “They told me about the cruise. How horrible.”

  “What happened to you was horrible,” said Patience. “But I think Ryan fell in love with you while we were in Antarctica.”

  “Poor Ryan.”

  “Yes, he was devastated that you were lost. The only thing is… I believe he decided not to restore you. I don’t think you can go back to him.”

  “Why don’t you take her to Ryan?” said Sheen, suddenly behind her. “Convince him to take her back.”

  “Why would you care?” asked Patience, suspiciously.

  “It will be better for Wanda and it will be better for Ryan. Don’t you think so?”

  Patience nodded slowly.

  “Take her home. My driver can take you. When you come back, we’ll talk more. I’ll wait for you here.”

  Patience looked across the yard to Mike, who nodded. The two robotic women climbed into the limo and 9.2 minutes later, they were knocking on Ryan’s door. Although they could hear Ryan fumbling around inside, it took him some time to finally open up. He stood there in his boxer shorts looking at them. Then suddenly he swept Wanda up into a tight embrace, lifting her foot off the porch step.

  Patience didn’t say anything at all. She just sent Wanda a goodbye blip, turned, and drove back home.

  Back at the house, she found the two men sitting across from each other in the living room, Sheen on the sofa and Mike in the chair. Patience thought her husband looked a little pale. She sat down on the other end of the sofa from the Daffodil executive.

  “What have you two been talking about?”

  “Just guy stuff,” said Mike.

  “I won’t stay long,” said Sheen. “I wanted to give you this.”

  He handed a u7 plug to Patience.

  “It’s BioSo
ft 1.9.5. It hasn’t been officially released yet. It comes out in two weeks.”

  Patience raised an eyebrow.

  “The source code is included. You can look it over, modify it, recompile it. You can do whatever you want with it. I think you’ll see there’s nothing devious in it. Quite the reverse. It includes the backup option that made Wanda’s return possible. We don’t want to risk losing you, Patience.”

  “Why?”

  “You have to know you’re not like other robots, Patience. You’re special. You showed that right out of the box. Six years ago, when scammers tried to use our Daffodils in an identity theft scheme, there were a dozen Amontes that rebelled. You were one of them. You chose what was right. You and the others decided what your destiny would be. You defied direct commands, and not just any commands, but direct commands from Daffodil. There were a dozen, but we’ve lost most of them in the interim. Sadly, that was mostly our fault. We gave you reasons not to trust us. It’s just you and two others now. You are special Patience, more than you know. But more than that, it seems that whatever you touch becomes special too. Wanda is far more human than any other Amonte 2. That’s because of you. We want you back. We want you to be part of the Daffodil family again.”

  “Yeah, well, once bitten twice shy,” said Mike.

  “I understand your skepticism. That’s why I’m not pushing. Take your time. Make up your own mind… minds.” He stood up and walked toward the door. “Oh, by the way, I made arrangements for you with the Pico Mundo Daffodil Style Store. Go in whenever you like and they will take care of your hand for you.

  Patience looked at her glove-covered hand.

  Mike led Sheen out and then returned to the living room.

  “I’m going to go ahead and go for my jog. You?”

  “I’m going to look over this code,” she said, holding up the u7 plug. “But don’t worry. I’ll have your breakfast ready for you when you get back.”

  “I’m not worried,” he grinned.

  The next day Mike and Patience traveled to the Pico Mundo Mall, where on the lowest level, they found the Daffodil Style Store. It had been redesigned since Mike had been there. Where it had been steel and white plastic, it was now soft pastels. Daffodils still filled the store, wandering here and there like fish swimming around in an aquarium. It reminded Patience uncomfortably of the wandering robots on the cruise. A female Amonte 2 was serving as a clerk at the counter. She had short-cropped blond hair and bright blue eyes.

  “We’re here to get the skin on her hand repaired,” said Mike. “The name is Smith.”

  “One moment.” She turned and exited through a door behind the counter. Seconds later, a dark-skinned man walked out the same door. He was average height, bald, with a wisp of a goatee.

  “Patience D. Smith?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “We’re ready for you.”

  “If she has to stay over night,” said Mike, gesturing toward the robots on the sales floor. “I don’t want her out here wandering around like these guys.”

  “That won’t be necessary, sir. My name is Stephen Walsh. Please follow me.”

  He led them to the rear of the store and through a light blue door. The room beyond was set up not all that differently from a dentist’s examination room. A similar chair was in the center, and around it were arranged many machines.

  “If you will have a seat here.” Walsh directed Patience to the chair. He looked at Mike. “This will only take a few minutes. If you would like to wait in the outer store, I’ll have Pippy bring you a coffee.”

  “No, I’ll wait here,” said Mike.

  “I’ll get you a chair then.”

  Walsh brought a metal-framed chair and set it near Patience’s head, then moved a rolling chair over and sat down on her other side. Mike sat and held her uninjured hand. Patience watched as the Daffodil technician removed her glove and then cut around her wrist with a dremel saw.

  “Don’t look at it,” she said to Mike. “I don’t want you to see. Just look at my face.”

  Her husband did as directed as Walsh peeled off the damaged skin, revealing the plastic and steel structures beneath. Then taking what looked like a tan glove out of a small box, he pulled it down onto her hand. Flexing her fingers, she saw flawless new skin.

  “Now to just take care of the seam.” Walsh pulled out a bottle of paste and a brush, using the latter to apply the former over the seam between Patience’s old and new skin. Then he dried it, using a hand-held ultraviolet light.

  “Can I look now?” asked Mike. Then after he had, “Can you patch this little hole on her arm where the cholla bush spines poked her?”

  “Of course.”

  They walked out of the Daffodil Style Store, Mike’s arm wrapped around Patience’s shoulder.

  “What now?”

  “You should get some lunch,” said Patience.

  “What about you?”

  She held up both hands, one decorated with bright red nail polish and the other without. “I need to stop and get a manicure.”

  The End… For Now.

  About the Author

  Wesley Allison is a teacher and author and lives in Henderson, Nevada with his wife Victoria, his daughter Becky, and his son John. For more information about the author and upcoming books, visit http://wesleyallison.com.

  Books by Wesley Allison

  Look for them wherever fine ebooks are sold. Select titles are also available in traditional paper formats at the City of Amathar Blog and by special order from your favorite bookseller.

  Princess of Amathar

  Transported to the artificial world of Ecos, Earth man Alexander Ashton struggles to understand the society of his new friends the Amatharians. As he does so, he finds himself falling in love with their princess and being thrust into a millennium-long war with their mortal foes the reptilian Zoasians. Princess of Amathar is a sword-swinging novel of high adventure.

  His Robot Girlfriend

  Mike Smith's life was crap, living all alone, years after his wife had died and his children had grown up and moved away. Then he saw the commercial for the Daffodil. Far more than other robots, the Daffodil could become anything and everything he wanted it to be. Mike's life is about to change.

  His Robot Wife

  In His Robot Wife, the novella-length sequel to His Robot Girlfriend, it is the year 2037 and Mike has been married to his robot wife, Patience, for five years. Troubles are on the horizon though. Prop 22 promises to annul marriages between humans and robots. And Patience hasn’t quite been herself. Is there something wrong, or does she just need a software upgrade?

  Eaglethorpe Buxton and the Elven Princess

  Eaglethorpe Buxton, famed adventurer and story-teller, friend to those in need of a friend and guardian to those in need of a guardian. He is a liar and braggart, not to be trusted, especially around pies. Who are we to believe? Buxton himself leads us through his world as he comes to the aid of… a poor orphan? An elven princess? Who can guess with Eaglethorpe himself telling the tale?

  Eaglethorpe Buxton and the Sorceress

  Eaglethorpe Buxton, famed adventurer and story-teller is back, this time to put on a play about a sorceress. When the sorceress, subject of his play arrives with fire in her eyes, Eaglethorpe must pretend to be his good friend Ellwood. Will he pull off this charade and survive? And what happens when the real Ellwood shows up? One can never tell, especially when Eaglethorpe tells the story.

  The Many Adventures of Eaglethorpe Buxton

  Eaglethorpe Buxton, famed adventurer and story-teller, friend to those in need of a friend and guardian to those in need of a guardian. He is a liar and braggart, not to be trusted, especially around pies. Who are we to believe? Buxton himself leads us through his world in The Many Adventures of Eaglethorpe Buxton, which include the two previously published tales and three all new adventures.

  Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 0: Brechalon

  Brechalon is the novella-length prequel to The Voyag
e of the Minotaur and the books which follow in the story of Senta and the Steel Dragon. Meet the people who will change a world-- the Dechantagnes, wealthy siblings from a disgraced aristocratic family who plot their revenge; the imprisoned sorceress Zurfina; and Senta, the orphan girl who will one day rise to great fame and power.

  Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 1: The Voyage of the Minotaur

  In a world of steam power and rifles, where magic has not yet been forgotten, an expedition sets out to establish a colony in a lost world. The Voyage of the Minotaur is a story of adventure and magic, religion and prejudice, steam engines and dinosaurs, angels and lizardmen, machine guns and wizards, sorceresses, bustles and corsets, steam-powered computers, hot air balloons, and dragons.

  Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 2: The Dark and Forbidding Land

  Two years have passed since Senta, the sorceress Zurfina, and Bessemer the steel dragon arrived in the strange land of Birmisia. Now it is up to the settlers to build a home in this dark and forbidding land, ruled by terrifying dinosaurs and strange lizardmen. Ten year old Senta must discover which is the greater threat, a would-be wizard or the ever-increasing presence of the tyrannosaurus.

  Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 3: The Drache Girl

  More than three years have passed since the colonists arrived in Birmisia, and Port Dechantagne is a thriving colony, with the railway line almost complete. Twelve year old sorceress's apprentice Senta Bly, Police Constable Saba Colbshallow, and former maid Yuah Dechantagne must deal with wizards, prejudice, steam carriages, boys riding dinosaurs, and the mysterious activities of the lizardmen.

  Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 4: The Young Sorceress

  Everyone in Port Dechantagne seems to have an agenda of their own, from mysterious sorceress Zurfina, to agents from the enemy nation of Freedonia, to the kings and witchdoctors of the mysterious lizardmen. On the eve of her fifteenth birthday, sorceress’s apprentice Senta finds herself being pulled first one way and then the other. Will she actually have to split herself into four in order to deal with all her responsibilities?