Forgiving Patience

by Jennifer Simpkins

  “Do you know what you did to my car?” He stood there, arms still crossed, looking either dumbfounded or like he couldn’t give a damn. “Let me inform you, your little stunt probably scratched the paint.”

  “Are you hurt?” He didn’t hide in his voice that he wasn’t the least bit concerned for her well-being.

  “What?”

  “I asked, are you hurt?”

  “No, I’m not hurt. Does that make it okay for you?” A flash of fire entered her stare. She too, crossed her arms, taking a strong stance against the man using his long legs to leave his position on the front porch and approach her. She expected to see a limp or even a wince of pain as he walked. There was no evidence of either. To a person who didn’t enjoy America’s pastime he would look like a perfectly healthy man. A man who had never experienced excruciating pain. But she knew differently.

  Even though she was a New York fan through and through, on a quiet night or lazy Sunday, she would find herself searching the channels for an Atlanta game—thankfully Jake hadn’t played for Boston…otherwise there would be a lot more hostility going on right now. It was something she’d never admitted to anyone.

  It had been a clear July night. She ducked out of the office an hour early and found herself curled up on the sofa, gripping the remote as she watched what was unfolding on her television screen.

  Rounding second base, heading to third, she could see Jake’s childlike grin fade to stone. Even through his recent pain, his concern seemed to still be for the game. He headed home against the third base coach’s instruction, and came face-to-face with Carlos Lorenzo. The only hope Jake had at being safe and getting the assurance run was to charge the two-hundred-and-something pound catcher. After successfully catching the ball being bulleted from centerfield, Lorenzo planted both feet and guarded his plate. He was known as being a man who didn’t mind being trampled over. Jake gave it all he had, and after coming into contact with the man, he collapsed on home plate, grabbing his right leg. The television cut to commercial too quickly for her to comprehend what had happened. The manager and his other teammates tried to downplay his accident at first, but Anna knew in her gut it wasn’t going to be okay for Jake. She cried for him that night—another thing that remained a secret.

  He stopped an arm’s length away. She took a calming breath and stared at the magnificent man. He had all the classically charming looks. His hair was still russet, dripping with sweat and curling out from under his ball cap. A slight dimple was centered on a strong chin, and the blue eyes gone dark were unreadable and staring into her, causing her proudly strong stance to weaken.

  He kept in shape probably out of habit more than anything. She imagined that if he rolled up his sleeves, he would reveal a farmer’s tan. His clothes and boots were covered in that day’s grime. He smelled of sweat and dirt, but under all that, she could smell the cologne he’d put on that morning. The mixture of scents flowed to her through the gentle breeze provided by Mother Nature.

  “You don’t have anything broken. You’re not bleeding. Did you happen to hit your head?”

  She instantly reached to rub a palm across her forehead. “No.”

  “Then we can rule out a concussion, so I don’t see what the big deal is.”

  “The big deal—you want to know what the big deal is? I was driving down a usually deserted road, my road, only to be run up on by a reckless jerk and forced off. That, is the big frigging deal.”

  “Sorry, but I’m not seeing how this is my fault—”

  He didn’t get the chance to finish before she stopped him in midsentence. She already knew he wasn’t going to cop to it. Taking responsibility for anything wasn’t his style.

  “I see you haven’t changed.”

  “What makes you think that?” he asked, still sporting his ‘I don’t give a damn’ expression.

  “You don’t care what you do or who you hurt, just so long you get what you want.”

  She was showing him the backbone she hadn’t had all those years ago. Her good friend Liza would’ve been proud. She’d worked hard for this backbone. It was nice to finally put it to good use. He couldn’t break her heart, run her off the road, or anything else he desired. He could take his charming looks and stick it. She wasn’t falling for it.

  “What are you looking at?” She watched as his sapphire gaze ran up and down her body.

  “I’m just picturing your cute little ass.”

  My what? Did he just comment on my butt? Like a switch being flipped on, she could see that somewhat half grin spread out to a full-on smirk. So, he was changing tactics. He’d decided the demanding asshole card wasn’t working so he thought the old appealing Jake one would. Men were confusing and so not worth the trouble.

  “You haven’t even seen my b…” Shut up, she scolded herself. She’d just walked into that one.

  “So you like the idea that I like your rear.”

  “No. I could care less about what you like or don’t like for that matter. Now, can we get back to the part where you apologize?”

  Ignoring her, he asked, “You don’t even want to know how I know you have a nice ass?” She decided it was time to regroup and hold whatever comments to herself. Her backbone was getting her into all kinds of trouble.

  “You have some damn fine, sexy curves you used to not…” Her stomach fluttered as his voice went low. “And well, by the way those jeans look from the front, I can picture the view from the back perfectly in my mind. Just fair warning, when you do actually turn away from me…I will be staring a little too long for your comfort.”

  “I will not be turning away until I hear an apology, so you’ll have to find some other willing woman to gawk at, because it won’t be me if I can help it.”

  “Wanna bet?”

  “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

  “Kinda figured you’d say that.” Before she realized her danger, it was too late to prevent the strong arms from gripping her feminine shoulders, swinging her backside toward him.

  “Are you crazy? Let me go, Jake.” She was saying everything her mind was screaming, but in her gut she wanted to see if she still felt the same way in his arms. Over the years she’d wondered if what they’d had was really real…or just some hormonal crush.

  And it was just as she’d expected—intense. Wonderful. Her attraction and need for him was still almost too much to put in words. And given how tightly he held her…he too, had to feel something familiar.

  Still…feelings or not, she was not letting him off easy. She tried throwing an elbow into his gut, but he anticipated the blow and stopped her mid-motion.

  He pulled her up hard against him, causing her breath to become ragged. She tried putting up a small fight, just for show purposes, only to be yanked back, fitting nicely against his rock-solid body—a body that even under these circumstances, she could appreciate.

  “Not a chance. Not only can I see your ass, I can feel it right…there.” He placed a hand on her midsection and pulled her up as close as she could get, making them practically one person. Her body settled at his thighs. Oh God—she could feel everything he had to offer a woman. “I have to say it feels better than it looks—if that’s even possible.” His voice was low and thick as it vibrated against her exposed neck.

  Even though it was well above ninety degrees outside, a chill slid down her spine, and lower—wait. No, what she was feeling lower, like between her thighs lower, was not a chill. It was something she hadn’t felt in so many years, she couldn’t remember the last time.

  She was sure he could see the goose bumps popping up, revealing he had more than just a strong hold on her. He also had her reacting to him. She was desperately trying not to tremble.

  She tried swallowing, her jumping heart now residing in her throat.

  Anna wanted to demand that he release her immediately but was afraid her weakening knees wouldn’t hold her up on their own. As if sensing her near faint, he shifted one hand from her waist to trace his in
dex finger up her neck. He was killing her insides.

  “It makes me wonder what other assets look and feel this damn good.”

  To keep up her pretense of really not wanting him, she pleaded, “Please stop.”

  Anna couldn’t think about much else. The only sounds she could make out were the sounds of her pounding heart and Jake’s steady breathing in her ear. She could’ve been in Times Square, and it would’ve sounded all the same to her.

  “You sure that’s what you really want? From where I’m standing, you seem to be enjoying this…” She lost her ability to hear his whispering words.

  She was becoming entranced by the motions of his gentle finger gliding up—down—and up again. Her eyes seemed to involuntarily close. Her head tilted downward, giving him better access to the spot she hadn’t known could be so sensitive, only to be zapped back to reality.

  She was held up by only her own strength and will. What the hell?

  Just like that, his touch was gone, vaporized. A tingling sensation was the only remnant he left behind.

  Her back was still to him. “Wha…what in the hell are you doing?” Had she just imagined his hard, muscular body holding her, touching her, making her want to cry out in need? No, of course not. It was real. It felt real.

  “You don’t look like the kind of woman who will have sex on the front lawn—but I can keep going…if you’d like.”

  She took a second to pull herself back together before turning to face him again.

  There were probably other women in town who would agree to front lawn sex, especially after feeling those hands on their bodies and seeing sweat running down his throat, pooling at the neckline of his shirt. Not her. When she saw him lift his shirt to wipe the sweat beads running down his face, showing a well-maintained stomach, she felt nothing.

  Get real. She’d just experienced firsthand how he could cause any woman to respond to a simple touch. Except that simple touch was lethal.

  “You’ll never know what kind of woman I am.”

  “Mmmm.” He acted as if he were mulling that over. “You sure? I don’t think you can afford losing another bet to me. You still look pretty rattled after the first one.”

  “It’s always a bet with you, Jake. Isn’t that how we got started in the first place?” Her voice broke slightly. He was bringing up memories she’d been trying to shove aside for the past eleven years. Their entire history had started with a stupid bet—what did that say about their past relationship?

  “Lighten up. There’s no need to be hostile. I’m sorry, okay.”

  Taking a small, calming breath, she replied, “Watch yourself. I haven’t touched on the hostility I can dish out. I wasn’t expecting to see you here now, but I will hash out our differences if that’s what you really want, or you can get the hell out of my way.”

  He took a step back from her and held his hands out as though he were surrendering. She stomped past him, not bothering to give him another look. After opening her car door, she heard him holler, “Nice license plate.” She turned and glared while he stood there looking all sexy and cocky. Anna didn’t have to look at what he was pointing at on the front of her car. Jake hated New York, and he was going to ride her ass every chance he got about it.

  “Bring it on, Lawrence,” she murmured. He apparently didn’t hear her, but that was fine. She ensconced herself in her car and slammed the door. Jake stood in place with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered on his face. What a jackass.

  Why couldn’t he be a Red Sox fan? It would be so much easier to hate him if he was.

  Chapter Two

  Anna made up an excuse about needing to drive into town for supplies just to get away from Jake. Everything she needed for the night was right beside her, neatly packed in her suitcases, but given her state of mind, it was crucial she get away. She had a bottle of cheap wine she’d bought before entering Patience’s city limits. She had enough food and clothes, so she was prepared for a long couple weeks.

  She was furious with herself for allowing Jake to make her think things, feel things, and touch her affection-starved body. She was literally insane. He’d had her almost moaning at his gentle touch. A technique he’d clearly mastered on plenty of other women.

  She cranked up the radio, allowing the unique voices of the band, Kings of Leon, to blare through the car speakers. They were doing a poor job of blocking what had just taken place with Jake, and the thoughts that snuck up on her lately, plaguing her mind. Usually, music was an escape for her. It made her feel like she was somewhere else, doing something else, or even being someone else, but right now it seemed that no amount of music could take away the demons she was going to be forced to deal with for the next couple of weeks.

  Her childhood home contained enough pain to fill an endless pit. It was going to be the hardest challenge because of the secrets that no young girl deserved knowing or experiencing. How she wished that pit would sink into the ground, allowing her to forget. She knew forgiveness was out of the question but maybe she would be lucky and eventually forget. Forgiveness was overrated in her book. How could anyone ask her to forgive someone like that? A person who was so dark and cold that their soul was blacker than black. No—forgiveness was not going to happen. Ever.

  Some days were good. Those days she could go all day and not think about the late night visits from the devil himself. Days like today, she wasn’t so lucky. She awoke this morning in drenched night clothes, taking a minute too long to remember she wasn’t being smothered with the smell and look of her small childhood bedroom. It was always frightening to awaken and think she was back in that hellhole, but she was adjusting to the frequent night terrors, at least that’s what she told herself.

  Then, she had Em’s wedding. It was her main purpose for passing the city limits sign. She cherished her best friend. She’d left Linden mainly to come back to help and to be a part of what Anna hoped would be one of the happiest days Em would ever remember. It wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing with Em ever was, but she was guaranteed a memorable experience. If anything, being around Em would be entertaining and one of the best parts about Patience.

  While she was thrilled at seeing her childhood friend, she couldn’t wait to get back to her current home, Linden. It resembled Patience in size, but what was important was that the people were different. She loved the fact that she was anonymous and got the privilege of supplying the little bit of information she wanted to make public rather than having everyone know everything about her.

  Most people in Linden only knew she’d grown up a day’s drive away in Patience, Tennessee, had come to spend time with her mom’s sister, had never married, and that she’d decided to stay because she fell in love with the quaint town. When her mother had moved to town a couple of years ago, people got a little nosier. They got more curious about Ms. Kelly and what had made her suddenly move away from her home to live in a new place with new people, at her age—which was only fifty, but when they noticed that the frail woman was sick, they were respectful and only helped if they were needed. Anna really did love it there. She had good friends, an aunt she adored, and the dream of opening up her own small coffee shop and bookstore. Life was good there. It was quiet, simple, and most of all—safe.

  She didn’t want to go to Em’s just yet. It was going on six o’clock, and Anna knew Em would already be at the Banquet Hall for her party. She would have to wait to talk to her nosy friend there. Maybe she would be able to shine some light on the whole situation. No, it was not a situation. It was a full on problem.

  Anna decided she needed to make a quick stop at Garrett’s and see what was going on with the house. He’d been the one dealing with the previous renters and trying to sell it. He wouldn’t make enough from selling the house to make up for everything he’d done, which was a lot more than she originally thought. He was the only one who could’ve had the house painted to its former glory. It looked better than she remembered from her childhood memories. She wondered if that was all
he’d done. She had been a little too preoccupied to have a good look around, but first thing in the morning she was going to have a walk around and make a list of all the repairs she needed to have done. Hopefully, it wouldn’t put too big of a dent into her already diminishing bank account.

  Great, it looked like Garrett was still working. Anna parked behind a compact car and a late-model Mustang with two different colored doors. The office was on the small side, but looked very cute on its corner lot. If she remembered correctly, the office had once been a residential home. It reminded her of a country cottage, something that should be sitting in some coastal town. The yard was neatly kept, driveway was paved, and there were two rocking chairs on the porch—a fixture of every porch in Patience. There was also a small building in the back, right where the drive ended. It matched the office perfectly.

  A sign that read Garrett Tillman Realty hung above the door. Before she could ring the doorbell, the door flew open and a petite woman stood just inside the door, looking about to burst with excitement. Anna didn’t know if she had to pee or if she’d just won the lottery.

  She looked like she was in her early twenties. The bumble-bee yellow dress with matching earrings seemed to fit the woman’s mood and bubbly personality. Her stylish, sleek bob cut made her look almost childlike. Instead of heels, she wore white Keds. It seemed like an odd choice, especially on the overly excited woman. Keds seemed boring, and boring wasn’t the word to describe the person in front of her.

  “Oh, you must be Anna. I’ve been waiting to meet you. Come in.” The woman squealed with excitement, clapping her hands at the same time. Anna didn’t know where this enthusiasm was coming from, because it couldn’t have anything to do with her being back in town. “Do you need anything—juice, Coke, water?” Anna was finding it difficult to get a word in.

  “No, I’m fine. What’s your name? I don’t think we’ve met?”

  “I’m sorry. I always forget to tell people that. I moved to town about a month ago, so nobody knows me very well yet. My name is Georgia McKinnley. I was raised in Georgia, so my mama gave me the name. It’s kind of cool, I guess.”