by Hart, Eve R.
But I couldn’t go there. It wasn’t in the cards for me and I was happy with that. I had Irenna’s kids, you know, when I got around to seeing them.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. Seriously, Silas, that job is going to kill you if you don’t take a break every now and then.”
Boy, she didn’t have a clue how accurate that statement could really be. Though I had never had any major problems so far, I wasn’t cocky enough to deny the danger that came with every job.
One of the things I loved about my sister was that she gave me hell but she was always understanding.
“I will make some time, I promise.”
“Peter’s third birthday is in two months. Be here.” Her tone told me that I had no way to get out of it.
With a small laugh, I told her that I’d be there. Just like her to call in the big guns when she was really missing me. What kind of asshole would miss that? Not me. I might have been a little messed up but I wasn’t that bad of a fuck-up.
I opened my mouth to tell her about Jessica. The air choked my lungs and I closed my mouth with a snap.
I knew exactly what Irenna would say if I told her I might be close to tracking down the little girl that once had been her best friend. I’d heard it before and it didn’t matter that this time was different. I knew I was close. I knew it was her. It didn’t matter that it had been twenty years since I’d seen her, those eyes didn’t lie. But if I said something, it would only rip open old wounds. It was best to keep it to myself for now.
“I’ll call you soon,” I said. The memories were starting to seep into my head and I didn’t have the strength to pretend I wasn’t a mess right now. Just like the last twenty years of my life.
“I love you, Silas.”
“Love you too, sis.”
I hung up with a heavy heart.
Come hell or high water, I was going to find her. I was going to make sure she was safe. And I was going to bring her back to the people that loved her.
Interview
Part 3
“Let’s talk about the events leading up to when the police arrived on scene.”
“Okay.”
“What time did Mr. Ramos arrive at the residence tonight?”
“A little after seven, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yes, I wanted to make him dinner, so I did. I remember pulling it out of the oven. It was six. Then he called and he told me he was taking me to dinner. So I got ready to go out. And that usually takes me about an hour. He came walking into the condo right as I finished up.”
“Then you went to dinner?”
“Yes.”
“How were things when the two of you returned home? Did you have a fight?”
“He—” *sigh* “He was irritated about something.”
“Do you know what he was irritated about?”
“No.”
“Is that how you ended up with that bruise on your cheek?”
“Yes.”
“Is this the first time that something like that has happened?”
“Yes.”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t see it coming?”
“No.”
-6-
Jessica
I never thought I was stupid. Especially when it came to street smarts. I had survived living on the streets. I even spent many years with an outlaw motorcycle club, for fuck’s sake. I wasn’t dumb, I knew what went on. And believe it or not, that was the best situation I’d found myself a part of in a long time. My time there was good and I’d look back on it with fond memories.
I had been dealt a bum hand nearly all my life. It was all pretty much bad, so the best that it got for me was the best kind of bad.
I should have known that I was floating too high. There was bound to be a crash and it would have been soon.
Ray kissed me goodbye and headed off to work. He was looking at opening something else up and I knew he’d be gone a few days. Though he didn’t come right out and say it, I had a feeling it was something along the lines of another bar. Something in my gut told me it was a strip club. I couldn’t explain it, there was just something about the way he was acting. Almost like he wasn’t thrilled but maybe it was a deal too good to pass up. It wasn’t really that much of a shock since I’d seen the not-so-upscale bar he owned. I’d worked there and knew it couldn’t be pulling in that much, but still, he kept it. But that was his business and not mine. I was sure he had his reasons. So a strip club wasn’t really out of the question. It wasn’t like I cared. When run well, they could pull in a lot of money. And I had a feeling he would take care of the people that worked there. That was a plus. I figured I’d ask him more about it once he made his decision.
So I spent my two days off lounging around the house. I didn’t do anything exciting, it was pretty much like any other day.
By the time of my next shift, I was actually ready to get out of the house. I was more excited to go to work than anyone ever should have been.
But the moment I got to work, I started to feel ill. My head was pounding and I felt nauseous. It had been a long time since I’d had a migraine. I usually got them near my period but once I started taking birth control regularly, I hadn’t had them as much. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t get them at all. I knew what this was and I had a feeling I wouldn’t be any good for the rest of the day. Hating that I didn’t really have much of a choice, I told my manager I needed to go home. Luckily, he didn’t give me shit about it.
The ride back to the condo was torture. I wanted nothing more than to lay down and take a long nap. With any luck, I’d wake up in a few hours and it would be gone.
The elevator felt like it took forever to climb to the top floor. I was just glad I was alone.
As I stepped off the elevator, I thought about sending Ray a text just to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and that I’d headed home early. However, before I had a chance to pull out my phone, I noticed that there was someone in the condo. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I knew better than to call out. It could have been Ray. Maybe he’d come home early or stopped by to get something he forgot. Though that rarely happened, I wasn’t going to rule it out.
I stopped and listened. I heard multiple voices so I knew that there were at least two people in the condo. Were we being robbed? I mean, how the hell did they get in here if that were the case? Call the cops, that should have been my first thought. And maybe it would have been if I’d had a more normal life. The last thing I wanted to deal with was the cops.
I tried to listen but I couldn’t make out much of what was being said. The sound was coming from Ray’s office, a place I didn’t ever go. It was his space and he’d asked me nicely not to enter his office once. I didn’t think anything of it, I just assumed he didn’t want me messing up his paperwork. And since I didn’t ever have a reason to go in there, I wasn’t bothered by it.
Only now I wanted to find out what was going on. The closer I tiptoed to the door, the harder the tingles ran down my spine.
“A fucking FBI agent,” he snarled.
I sucked in a sharp breath. I recognized that voice but it seemed so unfamiliar right now. It didn’t have the soft, tender undertone that it usually did. It was hard and terrifying.
“Right under my nose acting as one of my crew. How did this happen?!” He was roaring with anger. I had no clue what he was talking about or who he was even talking to. “I need that body disposed of. I want to know if there are any other surprises I might not be aware of. If they were able to get one inside then there might be more. We need to be more cautious. Figure out some way to get the FBI off of our backs.”
“Yes, boss.” I definitely didn’t recognize that voice.
“There’s got to be someone on the inside that we can use. I don’t care if you have to make it very clear that helping is not an option.”
“I understand. I’ll make sure there are no more complications.”
“Get this handled
or I will make an example out of you just like I did him,” Ray said with a coldness in his tone that chilled me to the bone.
I cautiously and quietly took steps backward until I reached the entrance to the hall.
“Ray? Is that you? Are you home?” I called out sounding innocent enough. I should have run, gotten back on the elevator and made my escape. The fear that he would hear me before I made it out was what stopped me. I had to do the smart thing here. And hopefully, this was it. “Ray?”
“Jessica,” he said as he walked out of the office to meet me. There was an edge in his tone and it was clear he wasn’t happy that I was here right now. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?”
By the time he started asking questions, he’d gotten his tone under control. He might have sounded normal enough, but there was a flash in his eyes that screamed darkness. It was only there a second before he wiped it away. And as odd as it sounded, there was a strange kind of buzzing radiating from him. He was like a man that could snap at any moment.
I found the teenage girl in me quickly. I knew I had to play it smart even though I was kicking myself that I didn’t have one fucking clue the man I’d been falling for all these months was the same one standing in that room. His words rang out in my head, the evil tone somehow came through even louder not. That threat he ordered might have been lacking details, but I heard between the lines just fine.
Survive.
And that was something I knew how to do well.
“I had a headache,” I told him truthfully. “I came home to take a nap because it wasn’t going away.”
I made the mistake of glancing down at his collar. It was the same style suit I’d seen him in too many times to count. Only now, the brownish-red dots that weren’t supposed to be there stuck out against the crisp white and I knew there was no way to play it off like I hadn’t seen them. There were more decorating his jacket though those weren’t as noticeable.
“Ray, did you hurt yourself?” I asked sounding frantic as I began to run my fingers all over his body like I was checking for an injury. Of course, it was all for show.
He chuckled and lightly grabbed my wrists to stop me.
“I’m fine,” he said softly and there was a tenderness in his eyes as he smiled at me. It was so strange to see right now. This man was clearly not who I thought he was. Only I didn’t have the first clue what he’d been hiding from me all this time. But if the FBI were involved, it couldn't have been anything good.
That was the moment the other man stepped out and decided to make himself known. I let out a small gasp as my eyes went over Ray’s shoulder to take him in. After all, I had to act as if I didn’t know anyone else was there. He was tall and big, the kind of man that would make for a good bodyguard. And by the way he was going for the gun on his hip, I assumed that was what he was.
“I didn’t know you had a meeting. I’m sorry I interrupted,” I said with a little flutter of my lashes up at Ray.
Ray’s eyes went hard for a second as he half-turned to the other man.
“This is Glen. He’s here to watch you and make sure nothing happens to you.”
I blinked at his words.
“Wh-why would I need someone to make sure nothing happens to me?” I asked dumbly. It seemed that Glen was as taken off-guard by Ray’s statement as I was. And he looked none too happy about what his boss had said.
“There was an issue at one of my clubs tonight. Someone came in and tried to shoot me. Fortunately, I wasn’t hit, but someone else was.” He wiped his hand through the air as if to indicate that was where the blood had come from.
The lies rolled so easily off his tongue that I almost believed him. If I hadn’t overheard what I had a few moments ago, I just might have bought it.
“Are they okay?” I asked doing my best to sound concerned.
I wanted to vomit for many reasons. Playing this part was making me sick. And knowing this man was not who I thought he was made me even sicker.
“Yes, he is fine. In the hospital and will make a full recovery.”
“And what about you? Is someone trying to kill you?”
“I don’t know yet. But don’t worry, I will figure it out. I’m sure it’s nothing to be concerned with but your safety is too important to me.”
“I understand,” I said with a nod.
“Why don’t you go lay down and I’m going to get a shower. Okay?” His voice was soft and soothing as he tried to brush it off like it was nothing.
I nodded, doing my best to push the shaky feeling away. Then I went to the bedroom and crawled under the covers. My eyes closed though I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. And they stayed that way when I heard Ray enter the room. He didn’t try to talk to me or touch me. Instead, he headed directly for the shower, the water starting up a moment after I heard the door close.
My mind spun out of control. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t seen some kind of sign or something that gave me a hint that things weren’t what they seemed with him. Me, of all people. I’d been around a lot of fucked up and shady shit in my lifetime. This was something I shouldn’t have missed. He was good— really fucking good— if he had me fooled.
Now, I just had to be better. Because I couldn’t even give him one reason to have any kind of doubt in me. He had to think that I had no clue about anything. That I hadn’t heard part of his conversation. And if he started to push, I needed to show him that I could handle the things that he was really into.
Whatever that was.
I knew it wasn’t simply owning and running a bunch of businesses. Yep, how I hadn’t seen it before now was kind of blowing my mind. I wasn’t an idiot, not when it came to things like this. However, it was clear that I’d gotten a little rusty and began to let my guard slip.
What was it he could be into?
Guns?
Drugs?
Human trafficking?
Maybe he smuggled in exotic animals. That wasn’t that bad.
Okay, I couldn’t even try to believe that one. I’d seen the documentaries on that sort of thing, and I was one of those people who valued animal life the same as human life. The number of animals that actually made it into the country was significantly less than the amount they had started with and not to mention the traumatic things those poor animals had to go through.
Really, my mind knew that no matter what the answer was to the question it wouldn’t make it any better.
I supposed it made me a bit of a hypocrite. The Steel Paragons MC ran guns. I knew this though it was never told to me outright. I could throw out a bunch of different things to try and justify it. And that right there should have told me that maybe it wasn’t as shocking as I’d made it in my head.
I’d seen the softness in Ray’s eyes when he looked at me. He did care, that was something he couldn’t hide. Just like the feeling that crawled down my spine as I thought of him touching me now was something I couldn’t hide. I couldn’t ignore. Oh, yeah, I was smart enough to realize that too.
This situation was the same, yet it wasn’t. The men of the MC never hid who they truly were from me. Sure they had different sides to them, but it never felt frightening to me. I never felt fear when it came to my life from them.
I guess I could have talked circles to try to explain it. I figured that was my minds way of trying to sort this all out. The best thing I could really say was that this felt different, and if I’d learned anything in my life it was to listen to your gut.
Ray was a dangerous man.
He wasn’t the kind of man you questioned or messed with.
At least not if you wanted to stay alive.
And what was that about some FBI agent? I’d heard it even if I didn’t know what he was talking about at first. The guy was dead and I knew, just knew, that Ray didn’t have any regrets about killing him.
Needless to say, my head was a mess. How could I accept one group for the things they did but feel such uncertainty with Ray?
&n
bsp; The one thing I did know was that this wasn’t going to work out. He might have cared about me, he might have even loved me, but this was not the future I saw for myself. This wasn’t the kind of life I wanted to raise kids in. That had been part of the reason I’d left the motorcycle club. A fresh start and a life without that dangerous edge. A life where I didn’t feel like I had to look over my shoulder.
With a sigh, I buried myself further down in the blankets. I wanted to fade away and escape this newfound knowledge that I’d been slapped in the face with. Yeah, I realized that was dumb, but just for a moment, I wanted to believe that I still had something good.
Eventually, I heard the water cut off and I prepared myself for him to enter the bedroom.
I could picture him in my mind as he moved around the room. I knew how he dried his balls with three rough rubs of the towel before he reached for his underwear. I knew how he took that same towel and ran it over his hair with the same vigor that he did his balls. The towel hit the bed and I saw it floating through the air in my mind. I didn’t jump because I predicted the movement. The sound of his nice slacks filled the air as they zipped up his legs. Then his shirt, every button done with perfection, starting from the bottom up.
I felt the bed dip behind me but I didn’t turn around. I wasn’t playing asleep, I just didn’t know what to say to him right now. His hand on my shoulder made me cringe but I held it inside.
“I’m sorry,” he said and that tone held the tenderness that I had come to know well.
I wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for the fact that I was in pain from my head or from my heart-shattering. Okay, the last part he really didn’t have any clue about since I was doing my best to hide it and everything. I still wasn’t sure if he believed me when I played dumb. That was maybe the most dangerous thing right now.
I said nothing and continued to feign sleep.
Luckily a few moments later, I felt the bed shift as it lost his weight and then the door softly closed.
My eyes opened and I let out a long breath as I saw I was alone.
