Attack of the Mutant Underwear

by Tom Birdseye

  Yep, a real live kiss, not just a chocolate one. I can still feel it, right here on my cheek. Wow!

  Can’t go on about the love life of Cody Lee Carson anymore, though. I’m out of room in this journal, last page. Way back in September, Ms. B said I should find my true writing voice. Well, I guess this is it. No fancy words out of the thesaurus. No trying to sound like someone I’m not. Just me talking on paper.

  Which turned out pretty okay, if I do say so myself. Who knows, I may even send it to one of those New York publishers and see if they’ll make it into a book!

  Starring Cody Lee New Me Carson.

  Who, in brilliant-hero-type-guy style, defeats the …

  ATTACK

  OF THE

  MUTANT

  UNDERWEAR

  Acknowledgments

  Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Listen Up, Everybody!

  I, Tom I-Thought-I’d-Never-Get-This-One-Done Birdseye, have an announcement to make. I am very, very, VERY grateful to all the people who helped me turn what began as a fuzzy, vague story idea into this book: Debbie Never-Ending-Support Birdseye, Amy Editor-in-the-Making Birdseye, Kelsey Unique-Perspective Birdseye, Regina Hit-the-Nail-on-the-Head Griffin, John and Kate We-Love-Books Briggs, Dan Stinky-Feet Arp, Gayle Field-Trip Larsen, Connie Always-an-Answer Anderson, Candace Cheerfully-Helpful Hawley, Robert Field-Research Raffield, Dave Gotta-Grant Groth, Chaundra Yay-Kids Smith, Gary Literacy-Man Phillips, and the many inspirational, off-the-wall-wacky kids and wonderful educators I’ve met in schools around the planet.

  About the Author

  As a kid, Tom Birdseye was decidedly uninterested in writing—or any academic aspect of school, for that matter—never imagining that he would eventually become a published author. And yet, nineteen titles later—novels, picture books, and nonfiction—that is exactly what has happened. His work has been recognized for its excellence by the International Reading Association, Children’s Book Council, National Council of Social Studies, Society of School Librarians International, Oregon Library Association, and Oregon Reading Association, among others. Combined, his books have either won or been finalists for state children’s choice awards forty-three times. Life, it seems, is full of who’d-a-thought-its. He lives and writes in Corvallis, Oregon, but launches mountaineering expeditions to his beloved Cascades on a regular basis.

  All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2003 by Tom Birdseye

  Cover design by Connie Gabbert

  ISBN: 978-1-4976-4587-5

  This edition published in 2014 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.

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  New York, NY 10014

  www.openroadmedia.com

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