Redemption (Iris Series)

by Lynn, Rebecca

  “Shit, how can he not see you as a woman? Your tits are spectacular!”

  Janie cringed and laughed. “The bane of my existence.”

  “How so? Do they cause you problems?”

  “Not a ton, but when I was younger they did. I was much heavier then. In fact, it’s only been a couple of years since I’ve lost the weight, and—”

  “Really? How much have you lost?” Ayanna leaned forward, interested to hear her story.

  “About 50 pounds,” she said sheepishly.

  “50?! That’s awesome! What an accomplishment...you should be so proud of yourself! How did you do it? When was this?”

  “It’s been a couple of years or so. I mainly changed my eating. I’m mostly vegetarian now, and I try to exercise four or five times a week. I was jogging for a bit, but my frickin’ boobs are so damn heavy, I felt like I was getting black eyes!” she guffawed. “I do more low impact exercising now, like Pilates and Yoga. Stuff like that.”

  “Wow. That’s great. What was it that made you decide to lose it?”

  She sighed. “I’ve been heavy most of my life, and when I hit 25, I finally got to the point where I wanted to feel better about myself, you know? Be healthy. And since I was a chef and starting the catering business, I really wanted to focus on healthy foods which is kinda what spurred me into organic and locally grown. It all seemed to go hand in hand.”

  “You inspire me. Seriously.” She paused, then switched gears. “So, who’s the fucking idiot who doesn’t see you as a woman?”

  Janie giggled, then got serious. “He’s…” She sighed. “He’s someone who just doesn’t see me that way. I’m more like a sister to him, and I don’t know if there will ever be a day that he’ll see me as something else.” She was looking off into space, coming to grips with a reality that was obviously painful.

  “Do you see him often? I mean, does he live in the area so you have to bump into him?”

  “Yeah, he’s around.” She cleared her throat. “He lives in Manhattan.”

  Thinking of her own new journey, Ayanna said, “Well, maybe you need to start approaching him in a different way. If you think he only sees you as a sister then you need to start approaching him as a woman. If you know you’re going to see him, wear something sexy to get his attention. You’ve got all of the right parts, trust me. You have a kick ass body, Janie. All curves. You’ve worked hard for it. Don’t hide it. Let him see it.”

  She leaned forward and looked Ayanna in the eye, then nodded slowly as she was processing what Ayanna had said. “Yeah, I might be able to work on that.” She licked her lips. “Yeah,” she said again, this time with a twinkle in her eye. Then, she abruptly changed subjects.

  “And what about you, Miss ‘No Sex for 40 Days.’ How’s the self-reflection going?”

  Ayanna shared a little more about why she had made the decision to change, and the realizations she had begun to have. “I’m excited about this time in my life. Lots of great changes. New job, new place, new ma—” She stopped herself before she said man. “Just new adventures.”

  Janie raised an eyebrow. “Why do I feel like you were going to say something else there at the end?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ayanna said innocently.

  Janie laughed. “Alright, we’ll play it your way for now, but I have to say I’m really stoked about your new job, too.”

  “Me, too.”

  After Janie left, Ayanna went to the grocery store to get the food for Jonathan’s dinner that was happening the next night. Once she got the food home and put everything away, she began prepping the kitchen to get it ready for her pork tenderloin with sautéed pears, and her potato and bacon salad with rosemary vinaigrette.

  And of course, the Oreos. She couldn’t forget those, she smiled. She was excited about the new way she was going to be presenting them.

  At a little before seven that night, with her kitchen set up to her liking, she settled in to catch up on her blog. Because she tried to write an article at least three to five times a week, sometimes they were short and pithy, other times they were a bit longer. Tonight was a night for short and pithy. She was going to write about the joy...of Oreos.

  An hour later, she heard her phone go off and with butterflies in her stomach, she got up to get it, hoping the message was from the Oreo King. Sure enough, it was.

  JW: Hey. What r u doing?

  She smiled.

  AS: Thinking about Oreos.

  She settled against the pillow on her bed and waited for his response. It came shortly after.

  JW: Mmm. I wouldn’t mind having some right now. Any chance u have any?

  She giggled and rolled her eyes. Ignoring his question, she wrote back.

  AS: I guess it’s a good thing there’s a store right down the block.

  She could spare a few for him tonight, but she wanted to play a little.

  JW: Ur a cruel woman, Ayanna.

  AS: Spoilsport. Do u need like 20, or would 2 suffice?

  JW: 2 would just about cover me.

  She chuckled.

  AS: Come on down, champ.

  Less than a minute later, she heard the knock on her door. He must’ve been standing in the hallway. She could feel the blood flowing hot inside her, she was so excited to see him. Trying to calm herself, she sauntered to the door in her cut-off jeans, fitted peach colored V-neck, and her hair down her back. She turned the knob and pulled the door open...

  ...then sighed. God, this man really did it for her. There he stood in khaki shorts, a navy blue t-shirt, and slip on casual shoes. But it was his eyes. His eyes were so damned sexy.

  She licked her lips and leaned against the door while she held it open.

  “Hi,” she said her voice husky.

  He swallowed then cleared his throat. “Hi, yourself.” He gave her an appreciative once over with his baby blues. “I hear this is the place to come when a man is jonesin’ for some cookies.” His eyes were glued to her lips.

  She gave him a look. “That’s what you heard, huh?” Then she knocked herself in the head as if she’d just remembered something. “Did you see my number on the bathroom stall over at Luigi’s? I’ve been meaning to talk to him about that.”

  He smiled and played along. “Instead of saying ‘for a good time call’, it says, ‘for cookies that are a bit crunchy on the outside but sweet and creamy on the inside’.”

  Her heart rate began to accelerate and it took her a second to shake herself out of his rumbling voice. She gave him a pointed look, and said, “Am I the cookie in this scenario, JBG?”

  “You know it, sweetheart.”

  “My cookie is crunchy?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing cookie was sometimes a euphemism for sex or a woman’s vajayjay.

  He smiled. “No, you’re crunchy. You do have a potty mouth, after all,” he smirked. “And you’re tough, but even in your crunchiness, you’re damn sweet, babe. And I just know your cookie is sweet and creamy on the inside,” he murmured, licking his lips.

  She groaned and backed up. “Get inside before you give poor Mrs. Holland a heart attack. She’s still trying to get over Ryann having screaming sex in here. We don’t need to give her anything more to talk about.”

  He stepped in. “I don’t think I need to hear about Ryann and her screaming sex, thank you very much,” he said dryly.

  She closed the door. He reached out to stroke the abrasion on her neck, and gritted his teeth.

  She covered his hand with hers. “Down, boy. Go sit. I’ll go get your Oreos.”

  She walked into the kitchen and scooped a few on a plate. Then she went into the fridge to get him some milk, and poured him a glass.

  “I can eat them in here,” he said right behind her.

  She nearly dropped the milk, she was so startled.

  “Fuck! You scared the shit out of me.” She put the milk and cookies down on the counter, and put her hand over her heart to catch her breath. “I didn’t even hear you.�
��

  “Sorry,” he chuckled. “I just figured since I wasn’t going to be staying long, I’d stand here and eat them.”

  She felt a little deflated at that news. “So, you only want me for my cookie?” she smirked.

  He angled himself so that he was backing her into the counter.

  “Among other things,” he murmured.

  Once she was leaning against the counter and he was towering over her, he grabbed an Oreo, unscrewed it, and took a very long lick at the center. His eyes were gleaming. When he was done, he threw the chocolate outer pieces into his mouth and chewed.

  Mesmerized during the whole exhibition, she finally came out of it when she heard the crunch.

  “You’re going to pin me to this counter and make me watch you eat Oreos?” She sounded snarky. He was turning her on and he knew it.

  And knowing he had B.O.B. in an undisclosed location, and probably wouldn’t give her a repeat performance of the morning phone call, she was feeling a little out of sorts.

  He nodded slowly, then took the second cookie and proceeded to do the same with it, this time making swirls in the cream with his tongue while he watched her intently.

  She huffed out a breath, her wet sex a throbbing mess. She wanted that tongue on her. Her hands were itching to grab his face and devour him and the cookie. Whole.

  He finished the second one, then licked his lips and took a sip of the milk. “Thank you.”

  “Well,” she said, a little pissed, “anything else I can do for you?”

  His eyes looked at her tenderly, then he lifted a finger to stroke her cheek.

  “Do you wanna know something?” he asked quietly. “I wanted to come see you. The cookies were just an excuse.”

  “Why did you want to come see me?” she asked, totally pouting.

  “I missed you,” he frowned, as if not thrilled with that realization. “And I can’t stay. It’s nighttime, you’re looking especially fuckable, and if I’m going to make it through the rules of no sleepovers I definitely shouldn’t stay long. That phone call this morning nearly did me in, Yan,” he said. “It’s probably not wise to do that often.”

  She wanted him, and was cursing that she still had 12 days to go.

  “Well,” she began trying to lighten the mood, “if you hadn’t taken B.O.B., it wouldn’t have been a problem.” She narrowed her gaze up at him. “When on earth did you even take it?” she asked, exasperated.

  He smiled his lazy smile. “Last night when you were in the bathroom.”

  “Bastard,” she muttered.

  He chuckled and touched his finger to her bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to make things more difficult for you tonight. I just,” he sighed, “I just needed to see you. For a couple of minutes. But now I think I should go.”

  “Fine,” she said disgruntled. She pushed him away from her and walked out of the kitchen to the front door. “You’re going to make me crazy, you know that?”

  He followed her and slammed his hand on the door before she could open it. He was close behind her when she turned around and leaned against the door.

  “Do you want to change the rules a bit?” he asked quietly.

  She couldn’t tell by his facial expression if he wanted to or not.

  She growled. “I’m just frustrated, okay? This is hard for me.”

  “Tell me about it,” he muttered.

  She blew out a breath and put her head back on the door. “Look, I’m just gonna be honest, alright? I’m turned on, I really want you, and at the same time I want to do this 40 days thing. But I’m feeling,” she hesitated then sighed, “vulnerable.” She looked down. “I don’t want to fuck this up, Jon.”

  “Come here.” He reached his arms around her, pulled her in, and hugged her tight. It wasn’t sexual at all. It was comforting. It felt...nice. Safe. Like something she’d never felt before.

  As her own arms encircled his waist, she relaxed and pressed her forehead into his neck while he brought his hand up to he back of her head. He stroked her hair there, soothing her.

  “Listen,” his voice muffled a bit, “we’re both adults. We both want to go at each other like animals,” he said gruffly, “and we both want you to succeed while you figure out some things about yourself. These are the facts. We also know that we won’t be having sex until Day 41.”

  She wanted to jump for joy. He wanted to have sex with her on Day 41. She suspected, and he certainly had implied it, but hearing him say it was another thing. She stopped herself for a second. She needed to know what he was thinking, so she pulled her head back to look at him.

  “You know,” she hesitated, “it’s not written anywhere that you have to wait to have sex. I don’t want you to feel—”

  “Stop.” He put his finger on her lips. “What I feel is that I want to wait to have sex. With you.”

  “Jon,” she whispered overcome with emotion. She really really wanted this man.

  He smiled sweetly, rubbing her lip with his finger. “So, we need to get serious about our rules. And we need to both make them attainable.”

  “For instance?” she prompted, resting her face in the crook of his neck.

  “Well,” he played with her hair, “this is nice. I think we can both handle holding each other like this.”

  “This is nice,” she sighed contentedly.

  “And I’d like to think that we can control ourselves if we wanted to kiss each other. How do you feel about that?”

  She leaned away from him slightly and looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t kidding. She noted the seriousness in his eyes, and said, “Yes, I definitely want to kiss,” she whispered, then pleaded him with her look.

  “That’s good,” he whispered back. “Because I was gonna put my foot down about that one.”

  With his arms still around her, he slowly walked her back a step to press her lightly to the front door then he leaned down and melded his mouth to hers.

  His lips were just as she remembered them. Soft but firm.

  He took her bottom lip between his own lips and sucked it into his mouth while one hand was buried in her hair and tugging at it so he could angle the kiss to his liking. His other arm still encircled her waist.

  He began to slowly consume her mouth and she was thankful for the support of his arm and the door, otherwise she’d likely slide the floor. He tasted and smelled so good.

  He tasted like Oreos. They were quickly becoming her new favorite food.

  She reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, just as he deepened the kiss and began to dip his tongue into her mouth more aggressively, pulling her head back even more, then kissing and sucking down her neck. They both moaned at the same time.

  She ran her fingers up through his hair and anchored her hands in it while he continued kissing down her neck, sucking at the skin of her collarbone. Her eyes were rolling back into her head and her nipples were tingling like mad, screaming for him to touch them.

  He began licking and nibbling at the other side of her neck, making his way back to her lips, plundering them again, biting and licking. He pressed her back into the door and ground his hard cock into her, growling. Abruptly, he stopped kissing her, rested his forehead on hers, his hands now gripping her head and hair as if it were a lifeline.

  They were both gulping for air, their sounds of exertion mingling as they tried to calm their raging hormones and heart rates.

  Jonathan was taking cleansing breaths as he continued his slow methodical grind into her sex. She would happily come just like this if he didn’t stop.

  “Jon,” she gasped and moaned, pushing her sex into his. She was biting her lower lip trying to maintain control, but she didn’t know how much longer she could hold back her orgasm.

  He didn’t stop grinding and moved his mouth to her ear, nipping her there. “Can you feel how much I want you, Yan?” his voice gruff. “You. I want you.”

  She whimpered. “Yesss. I want you, too. Only you,” she moaned.

  He nipp
ed at her ear again. “I want to watch you come,” he whispered, his breath tickling her hair. He continued his grind.

  “Oh, God,” she gasped. “We need to stop,” practically sobbing, she was so ready.

  “I feel like I’m bad for you, like I’m waving alcohol in front of an alcoholic,” he moaned. “I’ve been thinking about you ever since we got off the phone this morning, how I wished I was here to watch you, watch you shatter,” he murmured.

  “God,” she breathed. “Please, Jon. Don’t think less of me for wanting this,” she let out a frustrated moan, and gyrated her hips into his, dry humping him like they were horny teenagers.

  Why the hell was she taking a 40 day break from sex? Oh yeah. This self-reflection stuff was for shit.

  He stopped their movements momentarily and gripped her hair so she would look at him. Her eyes felt heavy with lust and she looked into his precious face as he looked down at her so seriously.

  “I would never think less of you for wanting this. Promise me you won’t think less of you for wanting this,” he whispered vehemently. “I’m so fucking proud of you for your decisions, for what you’re doing. I respect you more than you know, and I don’t want our mutual desire for each other to make you feel bad about yourself, do you hear me?” He shook her face slightly. “Don’t ever think that me wanting you, or you wanting me is a bad thing. Our discovery just came at a difficult time, that’s all.”

  She blinked back a sudden rush of tears. I love you, she wanted to say.

  “I don’t want you to think that I only want you for a quick fuck, Jon. There’s so much more to what I feel for you than that.” She touched his face. “I really do like you. I want to spend time with you. There’s been no other man in my life who has treated me with such respect or care than you. I’ve always wanted a good man and from the moment I saw you, I wanted you. Ryann had told me about you for almost two years and I always thought how great it would’ve been for her to get together with this wonderful man she described. And I was secretly a little jealous because I know she would’ve deserved him.”

  He interrupted her.

  “Shh. You deserve a good man. You need to believe that. I’m not a perfect man, Yan. Please don’t put me on a pedestal, but you deserve happiness too. And just for the record, I’m thrilled you want me for more than a quick fuck.” Then he added dryly, “And I’m also thrilled you do want me for a quick fuck.”