Miss Bennet & Mr Bingley

by Fenella J Miller

  ‘Lizzy, you must not speak so of him. He is a good man, admittedly he has rather a lot to say on most subjects, but his heart is true. You did not wish to have him for yourself, so you must not deny Charlotte and Mr Collins happiness together.’

  Lady Lucas appeared rather more often than usual, over the next days, to discuss the forthcoming marriage and Jane could not help but notice her mother was finding the whole situation difficult. Elizabeth’s disappointment in Charlotte had produced a restraint between the friends, pushing them apart. She was sad to see it when they had been such bosom bows before.

  She could not have got through the week since Charles had left without a word to her if it hadn’t been for the constant support of her sister. Jane had sent Caroline an early answer to her letter, and was now counting the days to when she might reasonably hope to hear again.

  Even Mrs Bennet began to think there was something decidedly odd about Mr Bingley’s continued absence. Day followed day without bringing any other tidings of him, other than a report which shortly prevailed in Meryton, as to him coming no more to Netherfield the whole winter. This report highly incensed their mother, and she never failed to contradict it as the most scandalous falsehood.

  Jane knew that her first understanding of the situation had been the correct one. There was nothing that Elizabeth could say to her that would convince her otherwise. It was not his sister keeping him away, but that he was indifferent to her and would not return any day soon. She knew this to be true. He had gone, as soon as she was not close he had forgotten her; moved on to charm and delight a more fortunate young lady.

  Jane did her best to conceal her anxiety but knew that her sister was aware how painful it was. By mutual consent they decided not to allude to the subject, knowing that as the days passed there could only be one answer, and it was that Mr Bingley had left her.

  Unfortunately such delicacy was not within her mother’s nature, and an hour seldom passed on which she did not talk of Bingley, expressing impatience for his arrival. Eventually Mrs Bennet was moved to say to Jane herself, that if he did not come back, she might think herself very ill used.

  * * * *

  Charles found himself much preoccupied by business with his lawyers and realized that he would not be able to return, as he had hoped, to Netherfield until after the festive season. He decided that he would write to Jane, that could do no harm, and let her know that he was thinking of her and would come down to see her in the New Year.

  My dear Miss Bennet

  I must apologize for not calling in to see you after the ball. There is something I most particularly wish to ask you and I am intending to come down to Netherfield in order to speak to you as soon as Christmas is over.

  We are all spending the holiday season at Pemberley, I am much looking forward to it, but would enjoy it so much more if you were with me.

  I am counting the days till we are together again and pray that you are going to say that I am not presumptuous in my sentiments towards you. I look forward to your earliest reply on this matter.

  I send you my warmest regards,

  Charles Bingley Esq.

  He read the letter through several times but on this occasion did not ask Mr Darcy’s advice as to its content. He knew it was tantamount to a proposal but was determined not to lose the woman he wished to spend the rest of his life with; if that meant going against the wishes of his family and friends then so be it. One thing he knew he would not do, however, would be to coerce Jane into accepting him out of duty and the expectations of her mother.

  He sincerely hoped that the few weeks interim before he arrived at Longbourn would allow the gossipmongers time to move on to something else. He intended to arrange it so that Jane met him secretly; then if she did not wish to marry him her family would never know that she had refused such a beneficial offer.

  He folded the letter and addressed it carefully to Longbourn and then placed it in the silver salver on the side table adjacent to the front door. There were already several letters waiting to be taken to the post by one of his footmen.

  Caroline was visiting him, but she had spent the entire morning trailing around after Darcy. He believed she was getting more strident, more desperate to attract his attention by denigrating any other young lady he might have met. He was certain that his friend had no interest in his sister, perhaps he should warn him of her intentions.

  She appeared in the vestibule, her bonnet and pelisse were on, and as she approached he heard her carriage pulling up outside. ‘Caroline, we have spent little time together this morning, I am sorry I had letters to write. I believe that we are attending a soiree at the Petersons tomorrow?’

  He saw her glance at the salver. ‘Shall I take the letters for you, Charles? I have several of my own to deliver; it will save one of your men the journey, it is foul weather today.’

  Surprised she should be concerned for the welfare of his staff, but pleasantly surprised, he immediately agreed. ‘Thank you, sister, that is most kind of you. Take care, and I shall see you tomorrow no doubt.’

  He watched her gather up the letters and slip them into her reticule. Raising a hand in salute he strode off to the billiard room to join his friend.

  * * * *

  It took all Jane’s sturdy mildness of temperament to endure the separation from Bingley with tolerable tranquillity. The letter from Caroline she had been dreading finally arrived and put an end to any doubt on the subject. The very first sentence conveyed the assurance of the Netherfield party being all settled in London for the winter, and concluded with her brother’s regret at not having had time to pay his respects to his friends in Hertfordshire before he left the country.

  Jane was glad she read the letter in solitude, she could not have hidden her grief. Hope was over, entirely over. She would have to learn to live with the destruction of her happiness, to realize that she had misinterpreted everything that had transpired between them. It was not Mr Bingley’s fault, it was hers. He had never said he loved her, indeed she had never said she loved him, it was a misunderstanding of the most upsetting kind.

  Elizabeth had been walking in the park and did not know the letter had arrived until she returned. When she came in Jane handed it to her. She could not bear to read out the contents as she had done last time. ‘I do not wish to discuss this, Lizzy. It hurts too much. I must adjust myself to the fact that my hopes are dashed. I am sure that very soon I shall be composed again, and everything shall be as it was before I met him.’

  She raised a hand as her sister made a move to comfort her. ‘No, Lizzy, leave me be. It is better if we do not dwell on it.’

  A further two days passed before Jane had courage to speak of her feelings to Elizabeth, she was finding it difficult to remain sanguine when her mother was constantly referring to Netherfield and Mr Bingley.

  ‘Oh! How I wish my dear mother had more command over herself, Lizzy; she can have no idea of the pain she gives me by her continuing reflection on him. But I shall not repine. It cannot last long. He will be forgot, and we must be as we were before.’ She could see her sister did not believe her statement. ‘Do you doubt me? Indeed, you have no reason. He may live in my memory as the most amiable man of my acquaintance, but that is all. I have nothing either to hope or fear, and nothing to reproach him with. Thank God! I have not had that pain. A little time, therefore, and I shall certainly try to be better.’

  She knew her voice betrayed her misery and she made an effort to sound more positive. ‘I have this comfort immediately, that it has not been more than error of fancy on my side, but it has done no harm to anyone but myself.’

  Her sister would have none of this. ‘Dear Jane! You are too good, your sweetness and unselfishness are really angelic; I do not know what to say to you. I feel as if I had never done you justice, or loved you as you deserve.’

  ‘Lizzy, you must not say such things about me. I do nothing out of the ordinary, I assure you. I can only behave as I do because I know that you
love me dearly.’

  ‘Jane, this is not fair. You wish to think all the world respectable, and not to speak ill of anybody. I only want to think you perfect, and you set yourself against it. There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it. Every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters. I have met with two instances lately; one I will not mention; the other is Charlotte’s marriage. It is unaccountable! In every view it is unaccountable!’

  ‘My dear Lizzy, do not give way to such feelings as these. They will ruin your happiness. You do not make allowance enough for the difference in situation and temper. Consider Mr Collins’ respectability and of Charlotte’s prudent, steady character. Remember that she is one of a large family; and as to fortune, it is a most eligible match. Be ready to believe, for everybody’s sake, that she may feel something like regard and real esteem for our cousin.’

  Elizabeth was not to be diverted and spoke most strongly about both Charlotte and Mr Collins.

  ‘I must think your language, Lizzy, too strong when you speak of them both, and I hope you will be convinced of it, when you see them living happily together. But enough of this. You alluded to something else. You mentioned two instances. I cannot misunderstand you, but I entreat you, dear Lizzy, not to dismay me by thinking of that person to blame, and saying your opinion of him is sunk. We must not be so ready to fancy ourselves intentionally injured. We must not expect a lively young man to be always so guarded and circumspect. It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives. Women sometimes find their attention means more than it does.’

  Her sister snorted inelegantly. ‘They take care that they should.’

  ‘If this is done by design, then it cannot be justified. I have no idea of there being so much design in the world as some persons imagine.’

  ‘I am far from believing any part of Mr Bingley’s desertion done by design,’ her sister said. ‘I do not believe he schemed to do wrong, or to make you so unhappy; there may be error and there may be misery. Thoughtlessness, want of attention to other people’s feelings, and want of resolution will do the business.’

  ‘And do you impute it to be either of those?’

  ‘Yes: to the last. If I go on, I shall displease you by saying what I think of persons who you still hold in esteem. Stop me whilst you can.’

  ‘You persist then, in your comments, supposing his sisters have influenced him?’

  ‘Yes, in conjunction with his friend, Mr Darcy.’

  Jane shook her head. ‘I cannot believe that. Why should they try to influence him? They can only wish him to find happiness, and if he is attached to me, no other woman can secure it for him.’

  ‘That position is false; they may wish many things besides his happiness; they may wish him to increase his wealth and consequence; they may wish Mr Bingley to marry a girl who has all the importance of money, connections and pride.’

  ‘Beyond a doubt, they do wish him to choose Miss Darcy.’ Jane was finding it increasingly difficult to talk about these things. ‘But this may be from better feelings than you are supposing.

  They have known her much longer than they have known me; no wonder if they love her better. Whatever may be their own wishes, it is very unlikely they should have opposed their brother’s.

  What sister would think herself at liberty to do it, less his choice was something very objectionable?

  If they believed him attached to me, they would not try to part us; if he was so, they could not have succeeded. I suppose in such a situation, you see everybody acting unnaturally and wrong, and me most horribly unhappy. Do not distress me by the idea. I am not ashamed of having been mistaken, or, at least it is slight; it is nothing in comparison with what I should feel to think ill of him or his sisters. Let me take it in the best light, in the light in which it may be understood.’

  Elizabeth came over and they embraced fondly. ‘I cannot go against you in this, Jane. I promise, from this point on, I shall not mention his name again.’

  Jane made every effort to appear unmoved by his having departed from the neighbourhood. She left it to her sister to convince Mrs Bennet that they had all been mistaken in what had taken place between herself and Mr Bingley. Mr Wickham’s society was of material service in dispelling the gloom into which the late perverse occurrences had thrown everyone at Longbourn. They saw him often, and added to his

  other recommendations that of general unreserve.

  Jane could not be happy that what he had told Elizabeth privately was now common knowledge. Now that the Netherfield party had gone the whole of Meryton appeared to openly acknowledge that Mr Darcy was the wrongdoer. And he was condemned as the worst of man by everyone apart from herself. Whatever they thought, she could still not believe ill of any of them, even when the evidence was so compelling to the contrary.

  Mr Collins duly arrived on his second visit but this time spent most of his time at the Lucas house. Her mother was heard to lament on many occasions that it would have been better for him to have stayed there and not put her to all this trouble. When Saturday arrived, he took his leave of his relations with as much solemnity as before, and wished his cousin’s health and happiness and promised he would write another letter of thanks to Mr Bennet.

  Jane had found his visit, this time, more trying to her nerves; outwardly she appeared as calm and unruffled as ever, and even to Elizabeth she did not reveal the depth of her suffering. Just the thought of spending time with others who were celebrating their happiness made her more aware of her own loss.

  She no longer thought of him as Charles. She could not blame Mr Bingley, Caroline or Mr Darcy for what had taken place. It had been she that had mistaken things; she had placed too much weight on the attention he had shown her. She overheard her aunt, Mrs Gardiner, who had arrived to spend the Christmas week with them, talking to Elizabeth on the subject.

  ‘It seems likely to have been a desirable match for Jane, I am sorry it went off. But these things happen so often! The young man, such as you describe, Mr Bingley, so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few weeks, and an accident separates them, then they as easily forget her, this sort of inconstancy is a very frequent.’

  Jane could not bear to remain where she could hear the conversation further. Her mother always said eavesdropping brought no reward to the listener. She decided not to join her aunt and sister in the drawing-room, but go to the kitchen to see if she could help Hill with the Christmas preparations.

  The Gardiners were great favourites and Jane enjoyed their company. Mr Gardiner, who was her mother’s brother, was a sensible man, who made his living within view of his own warehouses, but was both well bred and agreeable. Mrs Gardiner, who was several years younger, was an intelligent, elegant woman and both she and Elizabeth were very fond of her.

  Indeed, their aunt already knew what had taken place at Longbourn as they had told her in their frequent correspondence. Over the Christmas period they were so busy, what with the Philipses, the Lucases, and the officers, there was not a day without its engagement and although Jane found this fatiguing, being busy gave her little time to dwell on her own grief.

  She watched Elizabeth flirting with Mr Wickham and was glad to see her sister enjoying herself. If Elizabeth knew how low she felt, then she would not be happy either.

  ‘Do you know, Jane, our aunt believed that I am in love with Mr Wickham? Do you consider that I am in danger of being so afflicted?’

  ‘I should hope not, Lizzy. He is a charming young man, but not at all suitable for you. Perhaps, if he had his own fortune, then maybe you could consider him.’

  She stopped, not wishing to continue on the subject, as to go further would lead them into discussion of Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, and that she could not bear.

  ‘Jane, why do not you go back to London with our aunt and uncle? A change of scene will be good for you. There are too many unhappy memories here fo
r you at the moment.’

  Jane felt her spirits lift a little for the first time in a long while. ‘I should like that above everything, Lizzy. But it is not for me to invite myself,

  ‘Fustian! You know we are both welcome there at any time. I shall run down now and mention it to our aunt.’

  Jane continued to stab at her embroidery, she no longer knew what the image should depict, it had become unrecognizable as the stitches had been placed so haphazardly, her concentration not on her work. She looked up when the door was pushed open and saw Mrs Gardiner there, not Elizabeth.

  ‘My dear Jane, I had been intending to ask you to come back with us, but was not sure if you should feel obliged to accept when in fact you did not really wish to come.’

  Jane put her stitching down, smiling faintly. ‘I should love to come, your house is such a happy one. And it is possible that I might be able to spend some time with my friend Miss Bingley.’

  She knew that Caroline was not living in the same house as her brother, so she might occasionally spend a morning with her without any danger of seeing him.

  * * * *

  The day came for her departure and she embraced her sister fondly. ‘I shall miss you, dearest one, perhaps you could come up and visit during my stay?’

  ‘I shall do no such thing, Jane, at least not at first. You need to be away from us all, not reminded of what has taken place here. You must correspond with me, and I will write back to you immediately. And you must promise me, Jane, that you shall not stay at home, but go out on every opportunity to enjoy yourself.’

  ‘I do not believe that Mr and Mrs Gardiner go about a lot in company, Lizzy. However, I promise, that if I am invited to a party, or an assembly, I shall not refuse. I know that I must get on with my life, and be open to new experiences.’ Neither of them mentioned Mr Bingley, and for that Jane was grateful.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jane was determined to enjoy her extended stay with Mr and Mrs Gardiner and their four children. As their carriage trundled away from Longbourn she had hoped to feel her spirits lift a little, to find herself anticipating the treats to come whilst she was in town.