by Lila Munro
"Well, it might not be about us, but we’re involved. And no one seems to give a shit what we think," Gav said with a tremble in his voice. "Sound familiar, Mom?"
"Yes, it does," she admitted.
"We miss you, please come home, soon," Luc said right before the line went dead.
"Who was that?" Keegan asked, taking a bite of his po’ boy that had arrived during Julie’s call.
"My sons."
"You have kids?"
"We have kids. Actually Blake and Dante have two boys they adopted together. They’ve taken to calling me mom. They're what we disagreed about."
"Interesting."
She spent the next hour picking at her food and watching Keegan devour the damn bread pudding he insisted she needed a bite of.
"Do you think we could catch a movie or a pizza together sometime?" Keegan asked as he offered her another bite of their dessert only to have her curl her nose up and shake her head again.
"You mentioned you moved a lot as a child," Julie said, waving off the spoon. Her stomach was flipping upside down and she wasn’t sure if it was because she wanted to go to a movie with Keegan or she didn’t want to go. "You also said you just moved here a year ago. Why?"
"I’m in the Coast Guard. I’m a rescue swimmer."
"Oh. That’s pretty dangerous, huh?" Julie’s heart stopped in paralyzing fear.
"It can be."
"I think I should be going back to the house now," she said, reaching for her purse. "I’m a little worn from all the travelling. Can I take a rain check on the grocery store? I doubt I’ll need anything for a couple of days anyway. I didn’t even have a chance to look in Allen’s cabinets."
"Do you always ramble when a man makes you nervous?" Keegan asked, standing and helping her into her jacket.
"Yes. Always."
"So, that scene was pretty intense the other night," Keegan said, pulling into the street and heading them back toward Allen’s house.
Why did he have to go there?
"Yes, well, you started it. Dante felt the need to piss on his fence as it were. The worst I ever got from my former Master was a hand spanking. He wasn’t into pain. He was into psychological games."
"Edge play without the fire then." Heading north, back into the country, he set the cruise control and draped his arm casually between his seat and Julie’s, barely brushing her shoulder.
"Edge play?" Julie snorted and laughed. "Yeah, you could call it that I suppose. Guided fantasies. Terror tactics." A tremor overtook her as memories of Mason scaring her witless just before making her come violently ran through her mind.
"You’ve called him that a few times now with no name attached. Were you in a twenty-four seven relationship?"
"Basically. I had a voice, but yes, I was his slave."
"Heavy stuff. Is that what you’re looking for now?"
"I have no idea what I’m looking for," Julie admitted flatly. "I’m not entirely sure what’s going to happen with Dante and Blake yet. So if you’re asking if I’m ready to jump from one fire to another, the answer is…" What was the answer? Did she even know? Guilt ran over her heart and she wanted to shrink.
"You’ll figure it out."
They rode the rest of the way with a silence hanging between them like a wet blanket. Julie was glad when he pulled up to the house.
"It was nice to see you, Keegan," she said, pushing her door open. "Thanks for breakfast. And lunch. I won’t need checking on again, so tell Allen I’m fine and to stop sending spies."
"Allen didn’t send me, sweetheart." Keegan draped one arm over the wheel and winked at her. "I check on his house periodically and this morning when I saw a car here, I called him to make sure he had a house guest before calling the cops. When he told me who that guest was, I invited myself to breakfast."
Julie pursed her lips and got out. "Maybe you are an insufferable ass," she said, not looking back. With that she turned on her heel, nearly ran up the stairs, and disappeared inside to lean against the back of the door with her heart in her throat.
Chapter Twenty
"When are you going home?" Allen asked, clearly annoyed Julie was still occupying his second household. "I can’t stave off your Master much longer. He’s threatened to tie me up and beat it out of me. I’m not a switch. I don’t take pain, I give it."
"First of all, right now I’m in limbo, boasting of no Master. Thank you very much," Julie snapped. "And grow some balls, Allen. Tell him it’s none of his God damn business. I’m not ready to talk yet. In fact, I may never be ready. I’ve noticed my phone’s not been ringing off the hook with him trying to talk to me directly."
"That’s because he’s as fucking stubborn as you are, my dear," Allen said, aggravation apparently growing.
"And therein lies the problem." With that she hung up.
For the last couple of weeks, she’d found she rather liked Savannah and was considering making it her new home if she decided to leave Dante permanently. Of course, she had to remind herself that one Keegan D’Amato wasn’t doing anything but adding to her sway toward drifting south. He’d not left her alone. In fact, quite the opposite had occurred and it seemed nearly every day he was finding an excuse to drop by and have a meal with her or convince her to drive into town and have dinner with him. He’d yet to talk her into that movie, however.
Julie had no sooner settled back down on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and a book than the front door opened.
"Honey, I’m home," Allen called.
"You were outside the whole time, weren’t you?" Julie tossed her book to the side, tucked her legs up under her, eating her popcorn with zeal. "I’m not going back yet. You wasted a trip."
"Actually, I didn’t. You see, I’m having a party. You have three choices. Join in, stay your ass upstairs, or go home." Tossing his keys on the entry way table, he motioned through the door with one hand and Nicki appeared. "Oh, it’s a three day event. We’ll be in the kitchen. Long drive."
"Hi, Julie," Nicki said, waving with her head down, hurrying along behind Allen.
"Hi," she said, standing and watching them disappear. What the hell had he done to that poor girl? Bobbing along like…a good little girl should.
Julie sank back to the couch and put her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her palms. All those months ago before she’d come to realize she wanted Dante, she’d been right. Being alone sucked worse than being with someone even if you didn’t see eye to eye with them. But she couldn’t figure out if she really missed him or missed being grounded by the force only a Dom could provide. Could she be with anyone as long as they were dominant? Or did she want one particular one? Could she possibly resort to being serviced?
Too late with Allen, he obviously had Nicki tethered pretty tightly. Keegan still made her feel warm, but that comfortable old shoe feeling just didn’t apply. She sort of missed comfortable old shoe status, but she was still burned that Dante wouldn’t listen to reason. How in the hell could they possibly ever come to some sort of middle ground?
"Knock, knock?" Keegan’s voice rang through the entryway as he let himself in.
Maybe she really had become too at ease here. She told him come on in at will and it wasn’t even her house.
"Hi. What are you doing here?" she said, looking behind her to see if Allen had figured out she’d basically allowed herself to become almost a permanent fixture and appointed herself grand dame of Camelia Downs.
"Did you forget dinner tonight?"
She glanced down at her baggy shorts and t-shirt sans bra then ran a hand up her nape to feel her ponytail. "Yes?"
"That’s okay. We can eat in," Keegan said, making himself at home beside her.
"Allen’s here," she whispered, pointing one finger over her shoulder.
"So what." He laughed that low laugh she’d become accustomed to hearing and her heart ticked a bit faster.
"So, Dante’s harassing him about where I am. I don’t want him to know that…or…you know." Know
what? It wasn’t like she was dating another man for piss sake. "I don’t want him to get the wrong idea."
"About what? Us? What would the wrong idea be exactly? I like you. A lot in fact." Keegan ran a finger down her arm and traced a circle around the inside of her wrist.
"How old are you?" It dawned on Julie she’d never asked.
"How old are you?" he shot back.
"I’m no spring chicken."
"What are you? Thirty-five? Thirty-six?" Keegan pried before chewing his bottom lip in obvious amusement of the discomfort Julie caused herself by starting this conversation. And why she had absolutely no idea. Comfortable shoes.
"I’m forty-eight."
Well, that was twice he’d looked like someone had punched him in the gut since she’d met him. If she had to guess what shocked him more though, her name or this, she’d have to go with her name.
"And what are you? About thirty-two?"
"Thirty-four."
"Well, we were both wrong," she said, reaching into her bowl and shoveling up a handful of her popcorn, wishing she had a big chocolate malt to go with it. "Although, you were more wrong. Thank you for the flattery but it will get you nowhere."
"You have more than a bit of a brat in you, don’t you?" he asked with one eyebrow quirked up. "Too bad we can’t be more than friends. I find that trait a lot of fun to work with."
Alan snorted from behind them. "Are you kidding me? She’s tame these days compared to what we all had to endure in her younger years."
Keegan stood and turned, extending a hand. "Allen, good to see you. I’ve been keeping an eye on her for you."
"I can see that," Allen said, his eyes running from one of them to the other before finally taking Keegan’s hand and shaking it. "We’re having a party all weekend. I can count on you joining us, right? I need to make a few phone calls, but it should be a full house. Will you be bringing anyone?"
"No, I think I’ll just see who else comes by," Keegan said, his eyes wandering to Julie’s.
****
Julie was certain it was by divine intervention only that the weather cooperated and it was a crisp fifty-two degrees the next evening. Not warm by any standard, but according to Allen it was warm enough. She thought the subs being subjected to his lawn games probably disagreed.
There was a rousing game of human croquette going on in the back yard with subs playing the part of live wickets for their tops. As she watched from the safety and warmth of the parlor leading out to the back of the house, Julie spied two subs in quite a precarious position with balls sitting just under their…privates. She was feeling especially bad for one man as the Dom who’s turn it was had a mallet placed not so gently beneath the man’s cock, allegedly positioning his shot but seemingly doing more caressing of the area with the smooth wood than anything else. The more the Dom aligned, the harder the man’s cock grew.
"So, naked, kinky croquette," Keegan’s voice whispered beneath her right ear. "What other creative games does Allen come up with? Or is this just a Savannah habit?"
Julie tugged away from him, his breath tickling her throat becoming increasingly annoying, although whether that was a bad thing or not was still to be determined. Cold or not, she needed some fresh air and headed out of the house in a straight line toward a secluded sitting area she’d discovered a couple of days after arriving. She knew without looking back Keegan followed and after passing the lewd lawn games, Julie slowed until Keegan caught up with her then wrapped her fingers around his free arm. As much as she hated to admit it sometimes, such things probably came as naturally to her as waking up in the morning did.
"No, it’s not just a Savannah thing," she said, making her way through a copse of willows. "You should see his version of Slip and Slide. He has a mean rendition of Fox and Hound once a year, too." The pungent odor of decaying winter leaves invaded Julie’s senses as she found the bench she’d been seeking and took a seat not a few yards from the creek that bubbled and danced. She wondered what stories the flowing water there could tell if given a voice. "If you like to play dress up, he’s got your number as well. He’s always having some theme party or other. I’m wondering what his July fourth theme will be this year. I’m sort of hoping for something tropical or maybe Amazon tribal. I don’t know. If I even go at all." She shook her head. "Anything that requires less clothing than the French Revolution. Petticoats get damn hot in the middle of summer. Although, that’s probably his goal. See how long the subs can stand it before they beg for reprieve from their Masters by stripping down to their bloomers."
"Sounds like a lot of fun," Keegan said, taking a seat next to Julie. "The last club I had membership in was focused much more on the harder core side of things. A lot of formality. Plenty of demonstrations. Lots of delicious torture going on."
Julie flinched a bit and shivered at his last statement, remembering the last delicious torture she’d endure.
"I think you’d have fit right in." Taking her hand, he kissed her fingertips. "Were you aware your Master’s in residence?"
"Excuse me?" She tugged her hand away so as to think more clearly.
"Your Master arrived a bit ago with your brother sub in tow." Keegan smiled at her obvious shock. "You can’t fool me, Julie. I’m attracted to you and I know you’re attracted to me, but let’s face it, sweets. You’re in love with your Master."
"You’re occupation scares the hell out of me," she admitted.
"That’s pretty common. I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. Most of those were causal. It’s hard finding someone that’s not deathly afraid of committing to me because of what I do. It’s even harder because I move around so much." While he talked, he ran his thumb across the back of Julie’s hand. "Honestly, it’s just plain hard, period. Forget my kink preferences. Anytime you live the military life it’s hard to even make lasting friendships. You never know when you might leave and they might end. Never know if they mean it when they say they’ll keep in touch…"
"If you think a stable life is any easier think again," Julie interrupted. "Life is unpredictable. And nothing lasts forever. I’m sorry I brought it up. Can we talk about something else or just sit in silence? I’d rather not think about relationships or kink or the fact that someday you’ll be gone, too. Even if all we are is friends. Loss comes in many forms and they all hurt. Believe me. Have you read anything good lately? Seen a good movie? Do you like art? Do you eat nachos or popcorn at the…"
"Just what the fuck did he do to you, Julie? I don’t mean Dante either. I think whatever this Master you speak of in title only has something to do with your fear of your current Master."
"Dante isn’t my Master right now," she argued. "I uncollared myself."
"Yes, and from what I understand, without so much as a discussion or a proper good-bye. That’s ill behavior and as long as you’ve been subbing, I know you understand that. So, tell me. What happened? Talk to me. Let me be your friend. I want to be that if nothing else, but I’m not sure how if you won’t let me in."
"Please, Keegan, for all that is good and holy. Leave this alone. Please." Turning her head, she turned loose of a long, hard sigh. Why oh why was it so hard for her to bend? It had taken months of Mason waiting her out and now she couldn’t seem to shed enough of herself to submit completely to Dante’s will. "What happened still hurts."
"What if I don’t want to leave it alone? I like you, but damned if you don’t make it difficult. I get that I’m not in your league, but hell’s bells."
Julie started at that statement. Not in her league? "What makes you say that? You’re not in my league?" She remembered feeling that way years ago and never in a million more years would she have willingly made anyone else feel that way.
"Are you kidding me? Look at you? It still astonishes me you’re really pushing fifty. You’re the crème de la crème, sweets. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to you that I've heard through the grapevine you’re loaded. I live on an enlisted man’s pay. Har
d to live up to wealth when you’re poor as a church mouse. What could I possibly offer someone like you?"
Julie pursed her lips, rose from her perch, and started walking back toward the house. That struck a nerve. Was that what Dante was so pissed about? She’d once again deflated his ego by flaunting herself? Good God. She’d slapped him in the face by offering to pay for the boys’ education and further insulted him by offering him refuge in her dead husband’s home. Then an unsettled fury started in the pit of her stomach and flamed out to her extremities. What a slap in her face! Why not let her use her resources to make their lives better? Weren’t relationships supposed to be equal giving and sharing of the coffers? Was Dante such a Dom he had to have total control even if it meant cutting off his nose to spite his face?
She heard Keegan hurrying along behind her and chose to ignore his presence. Was he in on some conspiracy to convince her to go crawling back to Dante?
"Get back here," Keegan shouted as she sped up. "Julie, stop. If you don’t want me around and the olive branch of friendship is being revoked, at least have the guts to say so instead of acting like a baby and playing these games."
His admonition was met by one of her middle fingers flying up over her shoulder while she made a mad dash for the back door of the house. Before she could fling the door open, he caught up and pinned her to the glass with both arms around her middle.
"Move again and so help me, friends or otherwise, I’ll call Dante out here and either he’ll give me permission to bust your ass or I’ll make him do it himself, regardless of the reasons you’re running."
"You have no right to do anything to me, to include calling Dante and demanding he punish me. Good luck with that anyway, he obviously doesn’t want me back. Apparently I’m too much a free thinking woman for him. Besides, if he did want me back, why hasn’t he called for the last two weeks?"
