Harry Watt Bounty Hunter

by Rob Guy

  “Thanks for rubbing it in.”

  “My pleasure. By the way, can you speak Spanish?”

  “Spanish? Why in God’s name…. Ah, yes. Eduardo Rodriguez. Can this possibly get any worse?”

  “Don’t worry. I’m pulling your leg on that. Ed is from New Brooklyn, eighth generation. He just pretends to be Spanish.”

  “Why would anyone pretend to be Spanish?”

  Harry continued his prima donna antics for a few more minutes, his unprincipled thoughts sending him to the brink of despair more than once, as first Heidi, then Angel, then champagne, bubble baths, and playing the fool for Chisato played havoc with his mind. Funny, but it took this moment for him to fully realize that his heart was aching. Yes he was pissed that he wasn’t living the high life, but he wanted to see Heidi again more than anything. And Angel too, and oh God, tiny, adorable little Chisato. His heart yearned for all three of them.

  Yet despite all this, Harry eventually conceded to the inevitable. True it was only twelve days. He could rough it for that amount of time. How bad could things get in twelve days?

  “Okay,” he said at length. “I can see there’s no other way. I can also see that despite what has gone before, you did get me on the ship. I’m being very selfish. Thank you, Raquel. Whatever you may think of me, I do think a lot of you. I may not always be very subtle about it, and for that I apologize too. But I really am starving. Can we at least get something to eat before I start my duties?”

  Raquel was stunned for a moment. One look at Harry’s face told her he meant every word of what he had just said. It was her turn to be more humble about things. “Err, of course. We can head for the crew galley, two decks down.”

  “Thanks.”

  22

  Sachinyo

  The food was far superior to The Dragonfly, not that that was saying very much. There was an actual human chef onboard, together with a galley full of subordinates, cooking and preparing hundreds of meals a day for The Wing’s three hundred or so staff. These ranged from lowly engineering hands such as Harry, to the butlers working the suites. To this end, Harry was able to find out where the Heinlein/Matsui party were staying.

  Their butler was called Sachinyo; another perfectly shaped Japanese beauty that had immediately formed a friendship with Angel and Chisato. Heidi, said Sachinyo, was a little off with her, though polite. She appeared distracted most of the time. Harry hoped it was because she was thinking about him. He urged Sachinyo to let them know he was aboard, where he was, and how they could possibly plan to meet. Sachinyo was understandably suspicious of these entreaties, coming as they did from a lowly grease hand. Everyone, it seemed, outranked Harry. But he was at a dead end. He didn’t have the clearance to go any further than the engineering levels and the crew areas reserved for recreation. The Infinity Wing’s personnel were well looked after. They had access to a first class rec. room, complete with pinball and a pool table, as well as a steam room, sauna, swimming pool and a state of the art gym. But they had to remember their place, and Harry’s place was somewhere near the bottom. Even the ship’s cat was held in higher esteem. However, after much consultation and an agreement to more parting of money if she could arrange a meeting, Sachinyo agreed.

  “After all,” Harry told her, “What do you have to lose?”

  “My job, for one,” she replied.

  “Okay, good point. But if I’m right, I promise you Miss Heinlein will tip you more than you could earn from a dozen trips.”

  Sachinyo didn’t think that would happen, but agreed nonetheless. Harry suggested that if Heidi was not very approachable, then Sachinyo should speak to Angel, or even Chisato.

  “If you tell her that Harry-san is onboard, she will not quit asking for me.”

  “Very well, I will do as you ask. But if I lose my job you lose your teeth.”

  “Fair enough.”

  23

  Billy No Mates

  Harry heard nothing for two days. In that time he acquainted himself with his new job, and his new boss. Harry need not have worried. Being a third stoker second class required little skill or knowledge of engineering. He soon got the hang of watching the readouts and sweeping up after the cat. He found out too that there was a third stoker third class, which made him feel a bit better about things.

  Assistant third chief Numates wasn’t such a bad sort once you got to know him. Harry wondered what that said about his own character if he and Billy No Mates were getting along. But he didn’t care. He had renewed hope that soon he and Heidi would be reunited. So as a consequence of this he threw himself into his new role as a third stoker second class, knowing it was probably only a matter of a few hours before he would be back in Heidi’s arms, with all his past misdemeanours forgotten, or at least forgiven, and relishing in the lap of luxury. And to top all that off, the cherry on the cake if you like, Raquel had managed to find him a flight suit that fitted him just right, so that he didn’t resemble something wrapped in shrink-wrap.

  Numates didn’t mind his nickname. He allowed Harry to call him Billy when no one else was around, and this helped him forget his lowly rank. Billy took great pride in his work, and encouraged Harry to adopt the same attitude. Harry knew his way round an engine room, and possessed some rudimentary skills in engineering, as did most people who had passed through an establishment similar to the Bureau.

  It turned out that Billy was about as French as a game of cricket. He had been born and raised in the south of England, and knew absolutely nothing of his heritage, or indeed a single word of French. He did however, know absolutely everything there was to know about engineering, ever, no exceptions.

  “You talk to anyone around here and they think we do nothing of any importance,” Billy said during a regular tea break. Harry had quickly learnt just how much Billy loved his tea, and how he liked it; something that resembled hydraulic fluid, and tasted, as Harry found out once after drinking from the wrong cup, like burnt twigs and stale tobacco.

  “But they’re wrong, right?” said Harry with a half smile.

  “Absolutely they are,” Billy replied, intensely serious. “If we didn’t keep an eye on those dials then the whole ship could blow up.”

  “But surely there are numerous fail-safes before that could ever happen,” said Harry. Billy simply shook his head at him, looking very disappointed in his new protégé.

  At the start of their relationship, Harry wouldn’t let his boss have it all his own way during their many discussions putting the world to rights, fool that he was.

  “In this life, you are either an engineer, or you’re not,” said Billy, with an air of someone who knew what they were talking about, even when you knew they were talking bullshit.

  “True,” replied Harry innocently. “You could be a nurse, or a soldier, or a liquid fuel tech, or….”

  “No, no. You are either one or the other.”

  “There are occupations other than engineers, Billy.”

  “Are there indeed? I wonder.” Billy nodded and raised an eyebrow; a sage expression, yet at the same time one that told you the wearer was off his nut.

  “Okay. I concede your point,” said Harry.

  He left it at that, as he could see Billy was starting to get on his engineering high horse yet again. He excused himself, and went to bang his head against a wall.

  24

  Twice Two

  On the third day of his new vocational exercise, Harry was just finishing his lunch when Sachinyo came in and caught his eye. He hadn’t seen her since he first asked for her help, and she intimated that she had news. Harry felt that twitch in his belly again. He waited, legs vibrating, until she finally came over with her tray of food.

  “Where’ve you been?” he asked.

  “Very busy, but I have information for you,” she told him in a conspiratorial whisper.

  “Wow. It’s about time,” said Harry, rubbing his palms over his lap. “What news?”

  “You are full of shit.”

&n
bsp; Now, of course this wasn’t exactly the news Harry was expecting to hear. He did a double take. “I beg your pardon?”

  “You play me for a fool. You are some rich guy playing around with me. Go back to your suite and leave me alone.”

  “What? I don’t understand.”

  Sachinyo turned on him. “You are sick. You have me believe that Miss Heinlein will reward me when I say you are down here. You are already up there.”

  “What!”

  “You wear your fancy clothes and eat all that good food. You never tip, either. You need to leave or I will inform security. Throw you in the brig.”

  “Hang on a minute. Did you speak with Heidi, Miss Heinlein, about me?”

  “Why would I do that when you are already there?”

  “I’m what.…?” Harry was completely at a loss for words. What the hell was going on? Sachinyo had turned her back on him, and proceeded to eat her lunch.

  “Are you saying I am already up there? How can I be? I’m here.”

  “Look, I just come from there. You are there. You were speaking with Miss Heinlein, she did not look happy. Now leave me alone.”

  “But I’m here!”

  “Then you have a twin, and not a very nice one.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I saw you shouting at the little girl.”

  “Chisato.”

  “She was very scared. And that’s another thing. You change your voice. You sound like a squealing pig.”

  “What!”

  “Miss Angela had to step between her and you. You struck Miss Angela.”

  “I what!”

  “You hit her. You are a shit.”

  “But I swear to you I have been here all the time. I don’t have access up there. Ask anyone. I’ve been here, having lunch, for the last half hour. Sachinyo, I swear to you.”

  “Then it is as I said. You have a twin, and he needs sorting out.”

  Harry, for all his deductive reasoning, simply could not figure out what was happening. He found he was trembling, his hands clenched into tight fists as his mind struggled desperately to work out what was happening.

  And then he had it.

  “Of course!” he shouted, and stood up. “That sonofabitch!” He kicked away from the table, cursing and throwing chairs out of his way. Fellow staff members walked clear of him as he made his way from the canteen. Sachinyo watched him go, shaking her head and whispering curses in Japanese.

  25

  Desperate Measures

  “Billy, you have to help me, I’ve got to get up there.”

  Harry, in desperation, had approached Billy, and told him who he really was and what he suspected to be happening with Heidi and Angel. Billy listened, his expression fixed with intensity. Harry had an innate skill for working people out pretty quickly. He just knew his boss would help him. His story was so fantastic that only someone with a mind like Billy’s would just accept it at face value. He wasn’t to be disappointed.

  “I believe you, Harry. However it won’t be easy to get you up there.”

  “But it can be done?”

  “Of course it can. We need an officer’s card, or more likely we need this Sachinyo to co-operate. How are you with her?”

  “Not good, I’m afraid. She thinks it’s me up there. I don’t think she believes herself when she says it must be my evil twin.”

  “Nor would I. After all, she hardly knows you. What about Raquel?”

  “I thought about asking her, but I figured with you out-ranking all of us you would be in a better position to help me.”

  “I appreciate the confidence, but maybe you have overlooked something.”

  “What?”

  “Have you ever seen Raquel or Sachinyo talking with any men?”

  “What? What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “I know Sachinyo, so do several of the female staff, if you get my meaning. You say Raquel was never interested in you.”

  “No.”

  “So, I’m just saying that if we can get Raquel and Sachinyo hooked up, well, you know.”

  It took a second for Harry to realize what Billy was getting at. When his face lit up, Billy continued. “If you can persuade Raquel to seduce Sachinyo, she could steal, well, borrow her card whilst they are ensconced, and you can get to see your woman. What do you think?”

  “Me and Raquel almost got to, well, you know, when we were on The Dragonfly.”

  “Really? What happened?

  “Bruce.”

  “Bruce? A jealous lover?”

  Harry laughed. “Hardly.” Then he frowned. “At least, I don’t think so. Anyway, what I’m saying is I’m not entirely sure Raquel is what we think, or what you think she is.”

  “Only one way to find out, buddy.”

  Harry narrowed his eyes at Billy. His boss had certainly become a lot more animated in the last few minutes. He hadn’t talked about engineering in all that time, either. Still, they were talking about women, albeit ones that supposedly were not interested in men. Maybe that was the appeal for Billy, trying to attain the unattainable, like a set of perfectly aligned quantum coils on the StrateLine Drive.

  “Okay, I get it,” said Harry. “I’ll talk to Raquel, sound her out.”

  “Good, that’s what you need to do. And when you convince her that she needs to do this so that you can reclaim your paramour and destroy the man who has taken over your life, give her this.” Billy handed over what looked like a portable video camera.

  “What’s this?” asked Harry.

  “A portable video camera,” Billy replied, his eyes shining. “I want pictures, don’t you?”

  Harry pulled a face and thrust it back at him. “You’re sick, Billy. I’ll see you later.”

  “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

  “You’re sick,” said Raquel. “How dare you even suggest such a thing.”

  “I’m sorry,” Harry replied. “There’s no offence intended, but can you at least see this from my side?”

  “No, I bloody can’t!”

  “It would explain a lot, wouldn’t it? I don’t know how I didn’t see it clearly before, though I did have my suspicions.”

  “Oh did you now? Just because I didn’t fall straight into bed with you, you just assumed I was gay.”

  “Pretty much, yeah.”

  “You sexist pig!”

  “If you say so, but I am an honest one. But if you want, we can remove all doubt right now.” Harry started to undress.

  Raquel squinted at him. “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “Removing my clothes, as should you in order to remove any doubt.”

  “What! This is your way of proving I’m not gay? We just get down and dirty right now?”

  “Yeah, pretty much.” Harry was now naked from the waist up. He puffed out his chest and pumped his arms. “Well? What do you think?”

  “You look ridiculous.”

  “So I guess I’m right. You’re not interested? Shame, because I certainly am.” He started to growl, and made a great show of taking off his pants.

  “Okay, you can stop now.” Raquel was trying and failing to prevent herself from laughing.

  “Tell me you’re gay and I’ll stop.” Harry threw away his pants to be left wearing only his jockey shorts. He stood with his hands on his hips, smirking at her. “Just two words, that’s all, just two. Come on, you can say it. I’m gay.”

  “Well technically it’s three words.”

  “Semantics, baby. Come on, say it.”

  Raquel looked where so many women had looked before. Harry didn’t need to as he felt his shorts getting tighter.

  Oh shit.

  Raquel returned the smirk and walked slowly up to him, her movements slow and deliberate.

  “Well actually, you are only half correct,” she breathed against his ear.

  “How’s that?” Harry said, his voice shifting up an octave.

  “Can’t you guess? Where’s that dedu
ctive mind? I think he understands.” She moved a hand over his crotch. “Mmh, yes, he definitely knows what I mean.”

  Harry was determined to remain in control this time. “Still, I need to hear it,” he said, getting a whiff of her hair.

  “Hear what?” She nibbled his ear.

  “That you’re not interested in men.”

  “Oh, but I am.”

  “No you’re not. You’re playing with me.”

  “Indeed I am. Clever boy.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Ahh…”

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  Harry couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “Yes. Stop it, please. I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. Christ, you must hate me. You… Raquel? I said you could stop. Raquel?”

  With deft movements of both hands, Raquel pulled at Harry’s shorts, and they fell about his ankles. His John Thomas sprang up, stiff and ready to do its duty. She pushed him back gently, and taking his shorts between her toes, kicked out behind her, rather like a bull about to charge, and they went flying to join the rest of Harry’s clothes. He was now totally naked and standing fully at attention. He looked at her and there was fire in her eyes. She pushed him onto the bed where he bounced momentarily, and recovered to see her ripping off her clothes.

  “What are you doing? I said you don’t have to. I’m sorry.”

  “Shut up, you idiot. If you must know I’m bi-sexual, okay? I really thought you were going to let me continue without saying anything. You just rescued yourself, Harry. But Christ, you were so close to not getting any.”