Vampire Charming

by Cassandra Gannon

  “I must be forever who I am, Damien.”

  “I swear to gods, if I could come up with a plausible story to explain your disappearance to Kara Lynn, I’d just leave you on a street corner.” Damien snapped. “Since I’m stuck with you, though, the least you can do is not get the Men in Black after us.”

  Slade had no idea who the Men in Black were. Not that it mattered, since he did know Karalynn Donnelly. Damien’s mate was the undisputed ruler of their household. She was the one who’d invited Slade to stay when he’d shown up on their doorstep the month before. Damien would never gainsay his treasured mate and Karalynn adored Slade. All women adored him.

  Except Melessa.

  Slade found himself thinking of Jane Squire’s earlier question. No, he’d never loved Melessa and she’d never loved him. How strange that fate had made them Eternal-Ones, then. Had it been some kind of punishment? Why would anyone seek to punish Slade? He was flawless.

  Perhaps there was a deeper reason for the mix-up that he was missing.

  In any case, their divorce had actually been a relief. Melessa had annoyed him long before the marriage and spending an eternity with her would have been unbearable. Pink and orange, for gods’ sake. He would never recover from that atrocity. At least, she was out of his life. Slade was just angry that she’d taken so much of his life when she’d gone. He missed his grandmother, and his people, and having a place where he belonged. He even missed his giant butterflies. His beloved pets could flit between realms, so they would return if he called.

  Maybe.

  They only followed kings and, deep inside, he wasn’t sure he qualified anymore. Slade was no longer sure of anything. Especially not himself.

  He tried to project an image of confidence to the world, but his hidden doubts were getting louder all the time. That’s why this new opportunity for greatness was so important. Somewhere deep inside, he was very afraid he was the loser that everyone on the Vampire Isle believed. He needed to do something to silence his insecurities.

  “Look, I have to go.” Damien told him. “You just stay right here with Amalie and don’t do anything stupid, alright? He jabbed a finger at Slade. “I’m not bailing you out of jail, again. I mean it.”

  Slade scowled. The week before, he’d spent three hours in a human prison cell and it still annoyed him. He tried to help weaker beings and act heroically, but this world didn’t appreciate his efforts. Maybe Jane Squire was correct. Maybe no one here believed in heroes. “I was saving a woman when those policemen arrived. I explained many times that she misunderstood my intentions…”

  “You slayed her Vespa with a broadsword.” Damien interrupted. “You’re an idiot. Don’t leave the house.”

  Amalie rolled her eyes at her brother. “Just go already, Damien. Slade and I will be fine. I have our evening all planned.”

  Damien gave an exaggerate groan at that announcement and slammed the door on his way out.

  Slade made a face. “Your brother is no longer a villain, but he is still a difficult man.”

  “He’s an ass.” Amalie agreed cheerily. “You have no idea the trouble I went through to save the big doofus from himself.”

  “Actually, I do.” Slade sat down at the chrome and glass table, seizing the opening. “Witches have access to many different dimensions, correct?” He’d certainly paid one enough to get him there. What Melessa hadn’t stolen in the divorce went to travel expenses so he could escape his old world. At the time, he’d marveled at how easy it had been. Almost like some greater force was guiding him. Now that he’d seen this place, it was clear he’d overpaid.

  “Correct-ish. I can fiddle with the spaces between the different dimensions.” Amalie dropped onto the chair across from him. “Why?”

  “Because, I need to leave.” Slade leaned closer to her. “I must find my real spot in the universe, Amalie. I do not belong here.”

  She propped her chin in her hand. “Totally picking up on that.” She commiserated.

  “I can’t stay in this world and I can’t go back to the Vampire Isle. That leaves only one choice: You must help me get to a new land. One that’s in need of a mighty king. Where I can lead my people with valor and strength. Where I will find my true purpose. …And a large castle.”

  Amalie thought about that. “Well…” She let the word trail off. “There is one thing I could do to help, I guess. It won’t be easy, though.”

  “No challenge frightens me.” It was an undisputed fact that Slade could do anything. He’d simply been born superior in every way. He needed to believe that. “Tell me what I must do and I shall see it done.”

  “Well, a lot of my power comes through my Witches’ Writing Circle. We kind of peek into other worlds and write down observations and sometimes… fiddle with stuff.” She shrugged. “I mean, it’s all real. We’re not controlling anything or making people do things. We’re just giving them some… opportunities.”

  “You did that to our old world.” Slade nodded. “It is how Karalynn and Damien found each other.”

  “Right. Theoretically, I could plop you into some other world, using a Witches’ Writing Circle manuscripts as a doorway. But…”

  “But what?” Slade prompted impatiently.

  She bit her lower lip. “Well, some of the things we write aren’t very good. There is one screenplay about a king questing for a throne, but it’s kind of lame. Like Dragonheart meets The Dark Crystal meets Beastmaster 2. Trust me, you do not want to go that world.”

  Slade wasn’t so sure about that. He didn’t recognize any of those things she was comparing it to, but at least these people were in need of a king. “This kingdom is searching for a new ruler? It has magicks and supernatural beings and no automobiles?”

  “Yeah. Hang on. I have the story, right here.” Amalie picked it up and handed it to him. “It’s like a swords-and-sorcery thing. I think the movie would rely a lot on special effects and monster makeup. See, the land’s been overtaken by this jackass Werewolf named Fang.”

  “Fang?” Slade scowled. “I expelled him from my world many years ago. He was a cruel and twisted man, like most of his species. He enslaved thousands before I singlehandedly defeated him. I would have killed him, but he can only be slain with the fabled Silver Sword and I did not possess it.”

  “Well, he found a new kingdom to oppress. Now, the people there need someone to valiantly fight him, free their beautiful princess from his evil clutches, and restore peace to their enchanted land.” She shrugged. “It’s not something you’d be interested in…”

  “Yes, I am!” Slade interjected excitedly. “I can do all of that.” He wasn’t sure why Amalie already had the script sitting beside her at the table, but it seemed like fate. “Yes!” He fanned through the pages, quickly scanning words like “knights,” “magick spell,” and “crown.” “This is where I belong.”

  “Are you sure? Because there’s this kid called Roland who thinks he’s the one who will save Infinia…”

  Slade cut her off. “No one will keep me from my destiny. Certainly, not a lad named Roland. Send me here immediately.” He pointed at the red folder. The title typed on it read: From Here to Infinia. “I will gather the rubies you need for payment. Anything you ask. No matter the cost, I can…”

  “Don’t be silly.” Amalie interrupted with a flick of her hand. “I’m happy to help pro bono. I feel partially to blame for the whole Melessa thing. I knew that she wasn’t your true Eternal-One. We’ll get it right this time.”

  Slade barely heard her, his eyes on folder. “They have horses!” He pointed to that paragraph with great enthusiasm. “This is truly where I am meant to be. I can overthrow Fang again and give these peasants all they seek.”

  “And maybe someone’s going help you figure out what it is that you really seek.” Amalie hopped to her feet. “Speaking of which, I’d better get the door.”

  Slade hadn’t heard the bell ring, but he gave a vague nod. He flipped through the script, learning more about his
new homeland. This “Infinia” seemed a wonderful place. Once he arrived, he would immediately begin rallying loyal subjects. It should be quite simple. All peasants loved him.

  “Where is he?!”

  Slade’s head snapped up at the sound of shouting, unexpected happiness filling him as he recognized the voice. “Jane Squire!” He breathed in the unique citrusy scent of her skin, his Vampiric instincts humming at the tart fragrance. How could an ordinary human smell so good? “How did you find me?”

  “You left your doctor’s address, you moron.” Jane Squire wadded up the yellow paper with Damien’s contact information and threw it at him. “Way to be a criminal mastermind.”

  “Criminal?” Was this about killing that ridiculous “Vespa” creature, again? The monster was defeated and still they harassed him about it. “What have I done besides make this world safer for all?”

  “You got me fired, that’s what you’ve done!” Jane Squire pointed at the apples on the counter with an outraged finger. “You didn’t pay for those. And who do you think got blamed for your shoplifting? Me. So, you’re going right back to Iversons and tell Mr. Anderson that we aren’t friends and that I had nothing to do with your aggravated fruit theft.”

  “But, we are friends. I cannot lie. Vampires are innately noble. Have I not mentioned this?”

  Jane Squire looked ready to explode. “I need that job, you delusional lunatic!”

  “Why? It seems quite thankless.” He shrugged. “Any worthwhile establishment would be pleased to give Slade, King of the Vampires a few paltry apples.” It actually hadn’t occurred to him to pay. He’d never had to pay at any shop he visited. Why would he? “Truly, I’ve done you a favor by freeing you from such miserly people, Jane Squire.”

  “The last thing I need is favors from you.” She grabbed one of the apples and threw that at him, too. “Now, I don’t care if you think you’re King of the Vampires or an orangutan, you’re going to fix this or I’m going to fix you. Got it?”

  Slade’s eyes widened at the passion on her face. High emotion lit her plain features from the inside. Why was she not like this all the time? It was much preferable to the wallflower monotonously stacking ice cream cartons. She was a woman who needed to be freed from the shackles of this tedious existence, if she was ever going to find her full potential. She needed to take risks and have adventures. Like Slade, Jane Squire didn’t belong in this drab world.

  Inspiration struck.

  He had only found his new path because of this human. Why shouldn’t she benefit from his good fortune? Slade was a generous ruler, who always strove to help the little people. Besides, he did not want to see the last of this woman. The doubts that plagued him of late were silent around her. Jane Squire was the one thing he was suddenly sure of. The one person who made him feel less alone.

  “You do not need to work in that gloomy market any longer.” He informed her, rising to his feet. “I’ve found a new kingdom and you shall come with me as my trusty servant.” Surely, she would see the great honor he’d just bestowed and be thankful.

  Instead, another apple bounced off his head.

  Slade frowned.

  “You’re insane!” Jane shouted at him.

  “Oh, I think he’s making a lot of sense. A king does need a squire.” Amalie said, strolling back into the kitchen. “Don’t worry, this is going to work out just like it’s supposed to. I’m kind of an expert.” She handed Slade a set of golf clubs. “You’re going to need these, so don’t lose them.”

  He had no idea what she was talking about, until he saw she’d hidden his sword in the tall bag. No doubt she hadn’t wanted him to upset Jane Squire by brandishing a weapon in the kitchen. Slade was resigned to the fact that humans tended to react badly when they spotted a broadsword. They were such a high-strung group.

  “An expert at what? Golfing?” Jane Squire retorted skeptically, glowering from Amalie to the clubs. “Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better.” She rolled her eyes and looked back at Slade. “Look, I’d rather live in a dumpster than be your servant. Just drop the curtain on your little play and let’s go back to the store. That’s the only way things are going to work out.”

  Amalie ignored that and gave Slade a jaunty wave. “Bon voyage, Vampire. Do yourself a favor and listen to something deeper than your ego.” She glanced over at Jane. “And, Jane, learn to take a risk, huh? It’s the only way you’re going to find your real home.”

  Jane Squire frowned. “What?”

  Amalie winked and began chanting some words of magicks.

  Slade nodded in thanks, bracing himself for the trip to Infinia. “Tell your brother and Karalynn that I will think of them often, Amalie. We part the best of friends. They are welcomed in my new kingdom anytime. And if they wish to name their child after me, it would be honored.”

  “You’re on drugs, aren’t you?” Jane Squire demanded.

  He decided to rise above her ingratitude and fruit throwing. She could still accompany him on his mission of destiny. Now that she was here, he was in no hurry to see the last of her. For some reason, the ordinary little human still seemed… special.

  Jane Squire gave her head a clearing shake, her eyes on Slade. The woman did have lovely eyes, even covered with the absurd square glasses. “Look, just march down to the store or I will drag you back there by your pretty blond hair.” Her index finger jabbed into his chest. “I don’t care if you do look like a shiner version of Thor, you are not going to…” She broke off mid-word, her gaze darting in shock as the kitchen spun around them.

  It was as if Slade and Jane were standing still while the rest of the world began twirling down an invisible drain. The apartment faded, melting away so that, for one moment, he could still see the outlines of the appliances and the next they’d vanished. The kitchen became fainter and fainter, until it was suddenly gone and they were surrounded by nothing but trees that towered hundreds of feet in the air.

  Slade and Jane were no longer in that chaotic and confusing “modern” world. They’d been safely transported to Infinia. No oversized building, or noisy machines, or interchangeable humans rushing in all directions. Just a dense green forest that stretched out in all directions and a wonderful, welcoming silence.

  Slade gave a slow smile.

  Jane Squire looked around in astonishment. “What the hell just happened?” She yelped. “Where are we?” She whirled back around to Slade, her voice edging towards hysteria. “What did you do?”

  “I have brought us to our new homeland.” He told her proudly and shouldered the golf clubs. “No more will you suffer at the hands of aproned humans or be surrounded by the annoying sounds of Earth. Today, we begin again, here in the realm of Infinia.” He inclined his head in modest acknowledgement. “You may thank me later.”

  “What!?” The woman was clearly overcome with appreciation. She didn’t seem able to even find coherent words.

  Slade gave her arm an understanding pat. “I am glad I could do this small thing for you, Jane Squire.” He assured her in a grave tone. It seemed right that she be beside him. For whatever reason, he sensed that this human’s small fate was linked to his own grand destiny. He couldn’t explain it, but her mere presence made him happier. With her along, his mission would succeed. He knew it. “Together we shall…”

  He didn’t get to finish that sentence. From out of the underbrush, a deadly foe launched an attack. Slade instantly recognized it as a Wood Elf. He wasn’t surprised to see such a monster here. They were the lackeys of the underworld, feeding off misery and unrest.

  Like all of its unholy kind, the Wood Elf was genderless and spindly. It was dressed in an elfin green cloak that matched its bulbous eyes and clashed with its electrified mop of purple hair.

  “Vampire!” It shrieked and sprinted forward. Its jaws stretched opened at a wide, inhuman angle, jagged black fangs gleaming. One bite put victims into a thrall, their will lost and their mind no longer their own.

  “HOLY SHIT!” Jane Squire
bellowed as the Wood Elf barreled straight towards them.

  Slade shoved her backwards, already reaching for his sword. He pulled it free of the golf bag, giving the blade a practiced twirl. “Stay back, Elf.” He warned, standing in front of Jane Squire. “Else I’ll part you head from your shoulders.”

  Jane Squire gaped at the sword like she’d never seen one before. The woman was clearly a sheltered being. “What the hell is going on?!”

  “Vampires are forbidden in this land.” The Wood Elf hissed, but it warily stopped its advance. Its body was deceptively thin, its head seemingly too big for its bony shoulders. That was all a facade. They were among the strongest and fiercest fighters in the supernatural world. “We have orders to kill your kind on sight.”

  Slade marveled at the creature’s impudence, his confidence rushing back now that he had a familiar foe to vanquish. He was the mightiest warrior ever born! “I welcome you to try.” He offered with a laugh. “I have killed many of your species.”

  The Wood Elf’s eyes narrowed in rage. “And we have killed many of yours.” It gave a shrill whistle and the forest was suddenly alive with a dozen more of the skeletal demons. They poured out of the bushes, their thin bodies poised to attack.

  Jane Squire sucked in a panicked breath and Slade instantly felt his arrogant amusement fade. Not because he was now outnumbered, but because the human was scared. He spared her a quick glance over his shoulder, his chest tightening as he realized the extent of her vulnerability. She was braced to defend herself, but the woman was helpless and this world was completely foreign to her. All his life, Slade had shouldered the responsibilities of the Vampire Isle and its people, but this was different. More personal. Jane Squire safety depended on him.

  Just him.

  Not on the King of the Vampires, but on Slade.

  He felt a sudden sense of purpose that had nothing to do with ruling a kingdom. He could do this. He could keep her safe. “Have no fear, Jane Squire. I shall let none harm you.”

  “What are they?” She breathed in terror.

  Slade would have been happy to answer that, but the Wood Elves didn’t give him an opportunity. They rushed forward in a mob, which was their preferred method of attack. It made them predictable. Slade’s sword swung out in a practiced arc. He cleaved their oversized heads from their shoulders, refusing to allow any of the monsters closer to Jane Squire. They fell to the forest floor in a wide circle around the woman, but more kept coming.