An Alpha's Trust
Page 7
Shana was a bit confused until Trevor put on a small smile and said, “Way cool, Jakie,” pulling a piece of broccoli from his pocket and popping it into his mouth.
He chewed, swallowed and then stuck his tongue out and said, “All done. That was neat. Can you show me how to do that?”
Jake winked over his shoulder to Shana and went up to help Trevor.
She stood at the kitchen sink and smiled. The boys were bonding. She had a sudden feeling of loss. The boys were bonding, but she was on the outside. She was so emotionally scarred that her five-year-old was able to love, but not her. Whoa, maybe love is too strong a word.
She walked up the stairs and heard the melodic tone of Jake’s voice reading ‘The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed A Bat.’ She stood outside the door and listened. He was really great with her son. Accepting.
At the end of the story, she was shocked to hear a little voice. “Thanks; I love you, Jake. You can read me a story at night all the time and mommy can come and read me a story too. She is so sad. I know you can make her happy, like you make me smile. Mommy needs to smile.”
Jake smiled and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight lil’ guy. You make me happy too,” he whispered. He walked out of the room and down to the kitchen where he had heard Shana flee.
She was sitting at the table with a box of tissue in front of her, but her eyes were dry. Her hands were in her lap and her back was ram rod straight. “Shall we start? I fear you’ve already convinced my son to take a chance on you.” She didn’t sound upset, just concerned.
“I think I should start by saying, I looked into your past and I’m sorry. I should have waited for you to tell me what happened to you, but I couldn’t understand what happened yesterday. I was just trying to gain valuable insight into what went wrong. I know what went wrong now, and I’ll try not to do anything to hurt you again.”
“I’m not angry about it. My past is what it is, I can’t change it. You didn’t look at me with pity so I can manage a little embarrassment. While we’re talking, though, I’d appreciate you not being vague or skip stuff you think will be too painful or upsetting.”
“Okay...I don’t want you to think I’m like that bastard Ryan. I told you before that I’ll go slow and stop when you need me to. The only thing I can ask is that you tell me what I did wrong, when I do it. Last night I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong. It drove me crazy. I know now it was probably the possessive way I called you mine. Am I right?”
She looked a bit sheepish. “I know it’s stupid, but it just took me back. I avoid thinking of the past at all cost. It was probably the fact that I also haven’t had sex in five years.”
At the word sex his eyes closed and when he opened them they had a golden hue to them. “I’m glad we cleared that up. I need to explain the basics of wolf mating. Are you up for it tonight?”
“To tell you the truth, I’m exhausted but there’s no other place I’d rather be. I need to understand.” She didn’t like feeling like she was on the outside. She wanted a family, and she wanted to share her life with others.
“Wolf mating is very powerful magic. Somehow, our wolf is able to scent his lifelong mate. I smelled you the first week you were in town, but I couldn’t find you. It was...”
“Wait a second! I smell? Bad? Oh my Gosh! Why didn’t you tell me?” She rose quickly, intending to put distance between them, but he pulled her down to his lap.
“Like the sweetest vanilla ice cream I’ve ever smelled. Your scent is unique to you and an aphrodisiac to me. I get hard every time you’re around, so please don’t get upset.” He took a big whiff where her neck and shoulder met. Yumm.
She could feel her juices sliding into her panties, so she quickly climbed off his lap and onto the chair she had vacated. He had a look on his face like he knew exactly how she responded to him.
Continuing, “I was frustrated; I couldn’t locate you. I was surprised to find your scent in Twilight Lookout. When a wolf finds his mate it’s a deep feeling of contentment. However, he or she feels, uh, well, um...”
“Be blunt. I need to understand your people if I’m expected to live among you.”
“Horny. Usually, a couple will meet and have wild naked monkey sex for days sometimes, barely coming up for air. Wolves are very sexual creatures. If the mate’s human, like you, they usually can feel a bond to their wolf. Most are unable to deny themselves their want. I feel a bond to you; Shana and I know you feel it too.”
“I do.” She looked almost regretful.
“I know you’re an Alpha female; if you weren’t then you wouldn’t be able to deny your urges, even with your history. You are strong.” There went that ring of pride in his voice.
“Has there ever been a time when a mated pair didn’t...get together?” She wiggled her brows.
“None that I can think of. It would be most unusual for our kind to deny what we know is the best thing we will ever find. Our other half.” He sounded wistful.
“I’ve waited a long time to find you. And now that you’ve found me, I feel complete. How do you feel when you’re around me, Shana?”
“Mostly horny, but yeah, I feel safe too. I’ve always dreamed of feeling safe, but never dreamed it was possible. When I wake in the morning I think of you, and several times a day I find I can’t stop thinking of you. Is that the bond?”
“Mostly. What we have now is an incomplete bond. In order to complete it I have to, well, um, that is, ummm...”
“My God, Jake, spill it.”
“I would have to spill my seed inside you, and bite you here.” He ran his finger down the length of her neck to her shoulder. “While you came around my cock, Shana. That is the complete bonding. The first step of the bonding was my tasting you.”
Holy shit. How could he make her so hot with just a touch? She wanted to lead him to her room and explore this new found tingling sensation in her happy area. No, focus.
It was hard to focus when he was breathing deeply and smiling. Did he know she was horny? Could he tell? No way. “Would it always be like this between us?”
“Yes, you’re my other half as I am yours. We could no longer find pleasure with others. We would become physically ill if we were to try. Once the bond is complete, we’d be able to feel a part of each other’s emotions. We’d still be individuals and able to make independent decisions. However, I would be able to tell when you are angry or hurt and you would be able to sense the same of me. A bonded pair is very special.” He was afraid he was frightening her, but all he could smell was her arousal.
“Why do you keep breathing hard and smiling at me? Do I smell again?” She was becoming self-conscious.
He gave her a look that was sure to star tonight in her fantasies. A half grin, which looked a little wolfish. “I should tell you that my sense of smell is very powerful. I can smell your arousal and it is driving me crazy. I’ll also be able to smell your fear, and joy; most emotions. If we complete the bond you will develop a heightened sense of smell as well.”
“Wow, um, okay. I’m sorry I’m making you uncomfortable but...wait, can the other wolves smell my...stuff?” Oh, God.
She was so embarrassed. “Last night, we...Oh, no.”
“The other wolves will be able to smell you on me, yes. They also know we did not complete the bond. Wolf shifters are not a shy group of people. To find one’s mate is a thing of joy. I would be the envy of the pack, as would you.”
“Yeah, but...we smell like...passion. Oh my, I feel...dirty.”
He could feel anger rising, and tried to control it. “Why exactly would you feel dirty for being with me? I am your mate!”
He wanted her to understand so badly, but she grew up acknowledging sex differently. He thought he might feel the same with her history, but he wasn’t going to be punished for others’ crimes.
Her brows furrowed. “Why is that your answer to everything?” She mimicked his voice. “Trust me, I’m your mate. I would never hurt you, I am your mate. Have unin
hibited sex with me, I am your mate.” Okay, so she just made that last one up, and, oh boy, he looked pissed.
He plastered on a calm face, but inside he was raging. “I can see that you’re getting upset, so I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Only time will make you believe in me, so take it. I’ve given everything I can.” He stood and walked out the back door and to his pack.
Over his shoulder, he called, “I plan on sleeping on the couch while the others remain outside, on alert. I won’t bother you and feel free to lock your bedroom door from the big bad wolf.”
Chapter 13
She wasn’t sure how long she sat at her kitchen table thinking about what Jake had said. He seemed sincere. She just wasn’t sure she was willing to trust blindly. Actually, if she thought about it, he had done a great deal to secure their safety. He also revealed himself and, in doing so, saved Trevor.
She rose from the table feeling numb. Here she had a handsome man who wanted to provide for her and she was thinking about walking away. She needed therapy, and a cold shower, not in that order.
She went to her room and closed the door, but refused to lock it. She knew deep down Jake was honorable. She went to her bedside drawer and pulled out her new toy. She undressed feeling on edge, agitated. Ever since she had met her wolf she had been wet and achy. She wasn’t use to this feeling, and hoped after an orgasm it would go away so she could sleep.
She undressed feeling the sheets scrape against her skin, noticing how sensitive her skin was. She lay down on the bed and rubbed the vibrator, called the insatiable butterfly, across her already wet sex. She jumped at the initial contact. Damn, it wasn’t even turned on yet. She wondered briefly if Jake would be able to hear if she turned on the vibrations. Would he come to her? Only one way to find out.
What was that sound? He heard a low buzzing like an irritating bee. He followed the sound and stood outside Shana’s room. He could smell how turned on she was, which made the front of his jeans strain the zipper. She must have bought a vibrator.
Good heavens, would now be a good time to tell her that after the bond was complete she would only be able to release if his scent was in the room? Nah, best to let her have her fun now. He was shocked. This proved his little Shana was as hot and needy as he was.
He stayed out in the hall until he heard her moan her release. He needed to get away. Maybe stroke himself to release, but he didn’t want to do that on her couch, with his pack outside to listen in. Shit, they probably heard her little escapade. There would be no end to the amount of teasing he would have to endure now. It will be fine, he thought. There was only so much satisfaction to be had with a bit of plastic. She would need his touch soon, and he couldn’t fucking wait.
That was superb. Why hadn’t she gotten a vibrator before now? It wasn’t as good as her orgasms with Jake, but it saw to her immediate needs. She’d be able to think about her situation better if she stopped thinking of him naked.
Damn, she was horny again. Oh well, she’d get her money’s worth tonight with her new friend. She changed her position. She got on her hands and knees. This is great! Her pebbled nipples rubbed against the sheets and she was able to move her hips more to control the depth of insertion. It only took five minutes before she groaned into her pillow. Okay, maybe it was a small scream but it was totally muffled by the pillow. Yowsa!
He couldn’t take it anymore. Shana had just had her third orgasm when he ran up her stairs and tapped on her door. She answered with a breathless “Yes,” that shot heat to his oversized sex.
“Are you trying to kill me, Shana? I’m trying to be noble down here, but I can’t just sit on the couch while I hear your sounds of...joy. I’m dying.”
She noted the strained sound of his voice.
She quickly covered and went to the door. She pulled it open slowly and poked her head out to apologize. When the door opened however she was looking out at him, more wolf than man. He sniffed and whimpered.
“I’m so sorry. It was very inconsiderate of me. I didn’t realize you could hear me.” Lie!
He could smell it. She wanted him to know exactly what she was doing. Was she testing his restraint? Little minx. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When he looked at her again, his eyes were the warm chocolate brown. He grabbed her right hand and pulled her damp fingers into his mouth. “Perfect.”
Thankfully she didn’t notice his clenched fists.
“Goodnight, Shana.” And he walked back to the couch, to sleep. Hell no. He was definitely going to imagine her using the medium sized purple vibrator with clit attachment he saw on her bed. Oh, tonight he would dream well.
Chapter 14
Jake was having the best dream involving Shana and whipped cream. He woke suddenly wet, his manhood limp. Hell, when was the last time he had a wet dream. This was all Shana’s fault. If she hadn’t smelled so sweet this wouldn’t have happened. And damn, if seeing her face flushed from three self-induced orgasms wasn’t the hottest thing. The only thing hotter is if he could actually touch her and watch her peak during orgasm.
He used the bathroom and checked on Shana. He smiled seeing her sleeping with the covers only covering her lower half. Her musky sweet smell remained heavy in the air. Yum, he’d like to hop into bed with her but she looked so peaceful.
He went down the hall and checked Trevor. Darn, if he wasn’t the cutest kid. He smiled even in sleep with his hands folded under the pillow.
He headed to his truck to get his spare set of clothes and then he’d try and get a little more sleep. Shana’s couch was comfortable, but her bed was better.
What was that irritating ringing? Shana woke to her cell phone ringing. The sun was just coming out so it had to still be early yet. She picked up the phone and put it to her ear. “Lo.” Silence. That was her first clue something wasn’t right. “Hello, anyone there?”
A familiar voice spoke then. “Well, Shana girl. I’ve missed you.” Instant fear; she bolted up in bed.
“What do you want? How did you get my number?” She couldn’t think. She began to look around as if he might be in the room with her. No, Jake was here and he would keep her safe.
“I’ve missed you and thought maybe you’d want to talk about settling this pesky little custody suit out of court. If you come back to me, I’ll forget all about it.”
She could hear the barely controlled anger in his voice. If he saw her again she wouldn’t walk away with her life.
“Uh, no. Thank you.” Did she just say thank you? Oh, hell no. “Don’t call this number again. Don’t contact me. It’s over. Done! I have a restraining order.” Take that!
“Yeah, I don’t think so. I’ve been waiting five years to come back to you. And I will have you, and our son. You both belong to me. A piece of paper won’t change that.”
There was a light knock on her door and Jake strolled in. “Everything okay? You sound upset. Who’s on the phone?”
She put her finger to her lips in the universal sign for ‘shut the hell up.’
Yelling. “Who the hell is that, Shana? Is there a man in our home? I told you you’re mine! Make him leave or so help me I’ll kill you both!” Ryan was infuriated. Was she giving herself up like some whore? He needed to step up his arrangements. He didn’t share.
“Look Ryan,” Shana made note of Jake’s eyes widening and then narrowed in on the phone, like it was her poor phone’s fault. “I’m not yours and I will never be. I don’t want you, ever. This is my home. It’s over. Move on.” And she hung up.
Jake could see her glistening eyes. She didn’t cry though. She rose from her bed and came to him. Standing in front of him, she wrapped her hands around his middle and shoved her face into his shoulder. He held her for a long time before hearing little tip-toes.
Trevor came in her room. “Morning, mom’n dad,” and hugged their legs. Shana stiffened briefly before relaxing back into him.
She felt safe. For the first time in a long while she felt like she had someone to lean on. She
didn’t understand how Trevor could trust so blindly. What was she saying? Trevor was never blind. He had second sight. He probably knew how everything would unfold. But she was still afraid.
She needed to pull herself together. She had to drop Trevor at school and then go on into work. She kept telling herself everything would be fine if she just kept positive. She had support. She wasn’t alone. She pulled back from Jake and took her son’s hand and went to the kitchen to feed them. She didn’t realize it was too early until gazing at the clock and seeing the glowing red numbers, three in the morning.
What had just happened, Jake pondered. He knew Shana was upset and she let him hold her. Sure, she stiffened briefly when Trevor called him dad, but then she seemed to melt into him. He felt happy. Then, without notice, she put on her cool, calm face and strolled out of the room. She was preparing for a let-down, but Jake wouldn’t let that happen, ever. He could tell from what her ex said that he was mentally unstable. Didn’t they give people psych evaluations before a prison release?
He found his family-okay, soon-to-be family-in the kitchen. Shana was staring out the window in a daze, while Trevor sat at the table watching her. He went to the boy. “Why so sad, lil’ man?”
Trevor looked at him with wide innocent eyes. “I want mom to be happy and she can’t be. Why isn’t mommy happy with me?” A big wet tear slid from his eye as Shana turned and gasped.
“Don’t you ever talk like that! I love you and I’d do anything to keep you safe and happy.” She lived for him; didn’t he know?
“But mama,” Trevor pleaded. “I want you to be happy and smile likes when you have ice cream; you smile then. Jake, will you take us to get ice cream?” he pleaded.
“It’s probably not that easy buddy, but I can tell your mommy what makes me happy. I like to be with the pack. We don’t have to play, just being together all cuddled up makes me...comfortable. Wanna try?” He opened the back door and let the wolves in.