Chapter Twenty-Seven
UNWELCOME PERSISTENCE
I paced my room for fifteen minutes after I had stormed out of the Operations Building. I needed to calm down enough to think, but I couldn’t. I had never trusted anyone like I had trusted Travis, and he had managed to not only blow my cover but spill one of my biggest secrets. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t intentional. I exhaled steadily and made myself shift gears. It felt better to focus on what I could do to get to KATO.
There was no way I could let KATO know the IDA had the missile plans, but maybe if I hinted that the IDA knew something and asked a few follow-up questions, they might give me a clue about their timetable. It wasn’t any kind of a solid plan, but it would mean I was doing something, which at that point was what I needed. I had yanked open my door, prepared to head out and get to a computer, when I found myself face-to-face with Simmonds.
His eyes narrowed. “I think it would be best if we talked before you went anywhere.”
I looked away from him, doing my best to bite my tongue. I knew he was planning to hold me back, so I really wasn’t all that interested in what he had to say. But he didn’t give me an option.
“Inside,” he said, gesturing to the room behind me.
I took a step back, defeated, and he followed me in.
“You cannot expect me to do nothing here,” I said, before he had the chance to talk. “Not when I’m the only one in a position to act.” I swallowed. “And not when I’m responsible.”
“You aren’t responsible.” His face was tight, and his words strong, as if he were willing me to believe him. “If you didn’t get those plans, they would have sent someone else.”
“But Travis would have beaten that person.”
“You don’t know that,” he said. “Ultimately, you are not at fault for the actions of irresponsible people. What they are choosing to use these plans for is out of your control.”
I shifted back on my heels. I didn’t agree with him, but I didn’t want to fight about it. “I have to do something.”
“And I need you to wait.” I opened my mouth to argue, but Simmonds talked over me. “This is a major threat, Jocelyn. You are not equipped to handle it on your own. This isn’t even something the IDA normally deals with. Traditionally I would pass it over to CIA or another agency.”
“Then why don’t you—?”
“Because we can’t.” His tone was sharp and final enough to force me quiet. “The only reason we know this is really happening is because of you.” He held my eyes for a moment. “Dr. Foster’s research was never published, which means no one really knows what it entails. And that man is so revolutionary, I’m not even sure another scientist would understand the concepts without Foster there to explain them. So those plans and that list of retrievals don’t add up to a definitive threat on their own.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to process this, but Simmonds continued. “To anyone else, North Korea is merely building a missile, which isn’t good, but it also wouldn’t be their first. Nothing about this shows any sign of being an immediate issue without Foster, and as far as most of the world is concerned, he’s been taken by the Chinese. You’re the only person who is in a position to tell us otherwise. And while your word is enough for me, it isn’t going to be enough for any government official in any country to risk people and resources without more concrete intel. Not with your history. Which means this is up to us.”
I felt my resolve wearing down. He was making too much sense. “Then what are we going to do?”
“Right now, I need some time.” He paused briefly, and this time I didn’t try to interrupt. “We’ve only ever had four missions into North Korea in the history of the IDA. We contain them from the outside because getting in and out is so challenging. And while I agree that this time it’s worth it, we are not moving in until we have a solid plan. If we don’t, they’ll win anyway, and if that happens we’ll lose some of our best people. People I will need to prevent this from spreading beyond South Korea.”
I exhaled heavily. “How much time do you need?”
“Give me forty-eight hours,” he said. “If I don’t have something feasible by then, we can reevaluate our strategy.”
I bit my lip. I hated the thought of waiting, but Simmonds was right. This was bigger than I could take on with the situation as it was. “Okay,” I said, nodding. “Forty-eight hours.”
Simmonds gave me a nod of thanks, and then left me to simmer in peace.
• • •
I couldn’t sleep that night. I intended to stick to my forty-eight-hour promise, but that didn’t make it any easier to turn my mind away from all of the new developments.
My alarm went off at seven the next morning and I silenced it after the second beep. I closed my eyes for the first time all night and tried to find the strength to get out of bed. When I finally did get up, I took as long as possible getting ready, as if it would somehow make time move slower. I was hoping to avoid everyone, so I didn’t get to breakfast until after the morning workout and classes had started. But I wasn’t that lucky. I had just gotten my food when I saw Travis out of the corner of my eye moving in my direction. Fortunately the cafeteria was practically empty.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, coming to a stop on my right.
I gripped my tray tighter, moving purposefully toward a table. I couldn’t deal with this now. Not when KATO could be shooting off a missile at any second.
“I know you can hear me.” His voice had an edge to it. One that I was pretty sure he didn’t have a right to.
“Then take the hint,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Jocelyn—”
“No!” I slammed my tray down on the table “You don’t get to say my name like that.” I looked him in the eye for the first time since yesterday. “I trusted you.”
“I know.” I heard the regret in his voice, but it didn’t affect me. “But it’s going to be fine. We can still protect your cover, and no one cares about the other—”
I nearly dropped him again. “Don’t give me that. It was my secret. Not yours.”
A door opened behind Travis, and I saw Cody, Rachel, and Nikki fall in behind him. I wasn’t sure how much they had heard, but I knew it was more than I wanted them to.
Travis started to speak again, but I turned away from him before he could get a word out.
“You need to get away from me,” I said. He didn’t move. “Now.”
I watched him, staring him down until he finally left the room.
“So,” Cody said, coming closer. “What he said yesterday was true?”
I glared at him over my food. “What, were you all waiting for me?”
“More like waiting for him,” Cody said. “For what it’s worth, he feels like shit about it. I tried to get more out of him, but he wouldn’t give anything else up. It didn’t even matter that he already let things slip. And Simmonds benched him until further notice.”
I bit my lip and turned away. “That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I figured it wouldn’t.” He sighed. “I doubt this will mean much to you either, but I’m sorry for everything. You really hurt Rachel, and I wanted to have her back. But I should have known what it meant for Travis to have yours. So, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to him. Or to you.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. Cody left after that and Rachel followed him.
Nikki lingered behind. She waited for me to acknowledge her, but I started eating instead, not at all in the mood to talk. She only let herself be ignored for so long. She sat down across from me and pulled my tray right out from underneath me. I tugged it back, but she didn’t let go. “Nikki, come on.”
“No,” she said. “You come on.” Her face was angry and set. “I get that there are some things you had to keep secret, but now that it’s out
there, you’re hiding from me? From me?” She paused, giving me a chance to talk, but I didn’t have any words. “I’ve given you a lot of slack because you needed someone to. And because I believed you were a good person, regardless of what anyone thought. You owe me.”
I looked away for a moment. She was right about all of it. “This isn’t really something I want to talk about.”
Nikki leaned closer. “But it’s something I want to talk about it.” I met her eyes. “You’re my friend, and I want to know what happened to you.”
I sighed. She was begging for some kind of explanation, and she deserved that much. “You heard the basics,” I said. “KATO made me strong so they could use me, and then they weakened me so no one else could. They drugged me so I’d need them.” I took a breath. “I hated that I needed them so much.”
She grabbed my hand. “But you beat them,” she said. “Why was this such a big secret?”
“I haven’t beaten anyone yet,” I said. “I’m working on something bigger, and there’s a lot at stake.”
She didn’t fish for any more details. “I hope I don’t even have to say this,” she said. “But just so you know, if you’re working on any kind of plan, you can count me in.”
I blinked, surprised, but nodded. Things were still up in the air with Simmonds, but that wasn’t going to last for too much longer. And if he didn’t have a plan, I’d need one of my own.
• • •
By the time I’d gotten to Lee’s class, I’d had my fill of pity. Since she had already known the truth it made my first class a little bit easier. It also helped that the kids didn’t know anything, with Sam, of course, the exception.
He slipped into his seat just a few minutes late as always. “I guess you’ve had an interesting twenty-four hours.” He took his phone out, only bothering to give me half a glance.
I didn’t even question how he knew. “That’s one way to put it.”
He nodded, but still didn’t look up. “Well, just so you know, I meant what I said earlier. If you need help with—anything—let me know.”
“You’re the second person who’s told me that today,” I said.
He flashed me a knowing, wicked smile. “Nikki and I might have talked.”
I sighed. “We’re in a little bit of a holding pattern right now.”
He shrugged. “Okay. But if it’s the upper management you’re worried about, I can help you out. I know a few backdoor tricks to keep people off your scent long enough to get you into the field. At least in theory. I’ve never had the chance to try them out.”
I wasn’t quite thinking anything that big, but it was nice to have options. “Are you ready for that kind of mission?”
Sam leaned back, finally making eye contact. “Honestly? I have no idea. But you’re better off with me than with no one.”
“Thanks, Sam.” I bit my lip to hide a smile. “I’ll let you know.”
He gave me a one-shouldered shrug, slid back into his chair, and put his attention back on his phone. I did my best to listen to Agent Lee, who was explaining the basics of aerial assessments, but the only thing in my mind was KATO. If Simmonds couldn’t come up with anything new in two days I was, at the very least, making contact—regardless of the risks.
• • •
Shockingly, my classes had ended up being the relaxing part of my day. If the other teachers had learned the truth, they didn’t show it. Agent Reynolds still seemed to think I was up to something, and Agent Scott ignored me as he always did. And at this point I was pretty sure I could end world hunger and I would still be on Agent Harper’s shit list. It wasn’t until the afternoon training session that I faced any kind of challenge.
Nikki had offered to work out with me, but I wasn’t looking to hold back. My thoughts kept coming back to KATO, and Travis, and I wanted to pound something without having to be careful. I took to my corner with a punching bag and did my best to turn off my mind.
I saw Travis on the other side of the room watching me. We made eye contact for the briefest of moments, and then I turned back to my bag, hitting it so hard my hands stung. Travis took a step in my direction, but Cody stopped him with a hand on his chest. They were too far away for me to hear exactly what was being said, but I could imagine it had something to do with me. From what I could tell, Cody was trying to talk Travis out of something, but Travis’s face was set.
I shook my head and tried to focus on what I was doing, but it was getting harder and harder to keep my attention where it needed to be. And then Travis grabbed my bag. I punched it hard one more time, pushing it into him. He grunted and glared at me, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
“When are you going to get it?” I asked. “There’s nothing I want to say to you.”
His jaw tightened. “You’re going to have to talk to me eventually.”
“You want to bet?” I punched the bag again, and again he grunted.
“I’m sorry, okay?” He dropped his voice so I was the only one who could hear him. The emotion in his eyes was so raw it startled me.
I shook my head hard. “No,” I said. “I can’t do this.” It was more a reminder to myself than it was to him, but he wasn’t deterred regardless.
“Jocelyn—”
I punched the bag one more time. Harder than I had punched it all day. Hard enough that he couldn’t keep the pain to himself anymore.
“Goddamn it!”
He let the bag go and hunched over, but I didn’t care. I spun away from him and found another punching bag. Travis didn’t interrupt me again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
NEW REQUEST
I met with Simmonds after my classes the following day. He still had few more hours on the clock, but his time was almost up. He told me he didn’t have anything he was ready to share yet, but stressed that he was close. “In the meantime,” he said, “I think it’s time for you to reach out to KATO.”
I froze, not convinced I’d heard him right. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” He eyed me steadily. “But I don’t want you to say anything that might give you away. Just feel them out and see what you can learn.”
“Yes, sir.” I rubbed my sweaty palms on my thighs and tried to keep the emotion out of my voice.
“I want to see what you’re planning on telling them before you send it.” He seemed to sense how eager I was. I agreed quickly and hurried out of his office to get to work.
It took longer than I would have liked to get my message together, but when I went back to Simmonds an hour later, he only made a few modifications before signing off.
The IDA has vague details that something big is coming out of our headquarters in the near future. They are turning to me for intel and answers. What should they be told? Is there anything I need to know?
The goal was to gently probe for information under the guise of relaying newly uncovered intel. Even if I only learned what KATO wanted the IDA to think, we would have something to go on. Ideally their response would even give me a window to ask some follow-up questions. But first, I needed them to buy this enough to answer me at all.
I found it hard to breathe when I finally sat down in front of the computer, but I did everything I could to focus on my determination and ignore the fear. I knew I was doing the right thing, but the prospect of ever ending up back in KATO was more terrifying than I typically allowed myself to acknowledge. And now it felt entirely too close.
My hands were numb when I logged on. It was all I could do to find the right website. First I checked for any messages KATO might have sent me. What I found made my blood ice.
I had to reread it five times to process what they were asking. When my heart finally caught up to my brain it was pounding. I logged off the computer and raced back to Simmonds’s office, pushing open the door without bothering to buzz. Nikki was in there with him and they both lo
oked up abruptly when I entered.
“Agent Steely—” Simmonds started.
“KATO wants me back.” They both stared at me. Simmonds kept his face calm, but his eyes were intense. Nikki, on the other hand, looked horrified.
“You can’t go,” she said.
“If I don’t, they’ll know I’ve turned.” I may have been willing to risk them finding out, but now it felt like there was no way out of this without them learning the truth.
“Why do they want you?” Simmonds asked.
“They didn’t give a reason,” I said. “But they seemed to think I’d be coming back here. So it’s something big enough to risk pulling me out, and it’s also something that has them sure they’ll need me as their double agent once this is over.”
I looked only at Simmonds. His face was set. “I don’t like where this is going.”
“This is my in,” I said. I gripped the back of one of the chairs. “I’ll come up with a plan.” He still didn’t seem convinced. “If I don’t go back, my cover will be blown. You wouldn’t agree to this before because it would give me away. Now it’ll maintain my cover and put me in a position to stop this from the inside.”
“And what if you can’t stop it?” Simmonds asked.
I took a deep breath. “Then I’ll stay there until they send me back.”
“What?” Nikki leaned in, trying to meet my eyes, but I refused. I knew what it would mean to stay at KATO, but it was the best move.
“If they need me there now, but are planning to return me, then we can assume this will be while they take over South Korea,” I said. “They’ll win that battle, but while I’m there I can find out the rest of their plan. Then, when they send me back I’ll know everything we need to stop them from growing. I can bring back proof—something you can pass on.”
Crossing the Line Page 23
