Simmonds stayed quiet, studying me, and I could tell he was seriously considering my idea. Nikki noticed too.
“No,” she said. “Absolutely not. This is crazy.”
After a moment, Simmonds spoke. “I’m not agreeing to this yet, but come up with a detailed plan and we can discuss it.”
I nodded quickly, again focusing my energy on my determination. “Thank you, sir.” I headed out of the office, but stopped short of the door and turned back to Nikki. “Don’t say a word to Travis.”
Her eyes hardened, and I hurried out to work on a plan.
• • •
I had a plan mostly put together by the time I went to bed. Once I was back at KATO, I could use the vents to get the intel and access I needed to shut down their operation. If I played it right, KATO would think it was a system malfunction and send me back to the IDA while they work on a fix. From there, the IDA will have the intel to contain the situation. I contemplated going right to Simmonds with this, but I wanted to go over everything a few times before I did. I needed every detail completely set if I wanted him to sign off. I was tempted to stay up and iron things out, but I needed my mind sharp.
Of course, that didn’t mean my brain would turn off just because I wanted it to. I had another dream. This one was about what would happen if they caught me while I was back inside. My handler, Chin Ho, filled me with Gerex again, and tied me to a chair. He burned me, but this time it was for longer than I was trained for. He was pulling my fingernails out when I woke up.
It was still pretty early in the night, and I couldn’t fall back asleep after that. I went over to the training facility to try and work off some energy. I beat the bag until my knuckles ached so much that I was surprised they didn’t bleed through the wrapping. I was so locked in I didn’t hear the training room door open.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” I spun around to find Travis standing at the threshold. “I never would have thought you could possibly be this stupid.” Judging by the look on his face, Nikki had told him everything. He closed in on me quickly, and I was pretty sure it was because he knew I was going to run. I tried to get away from him, but he matched my every step. He was more determined than I’d ever seen him on any mission or training session.
“Stop,” I said, trying to maneuver around him.
He shook his head. “Not this time.”
I stopped moving and he did the same. He rocked on the balls of his feet, ready and waiting for me to make the next move. I faked to the left and charged to the right, but he didn’t fall for it. He caught my upper arms and backed me all the way into the corner, pinning me to the wall. I lifted my back, and tried to head-butt him, but he dodged it. I struggled against him, desperate to get away. I knew I didn’t really have a shot, but it didn’t matter.
“Knock it off.” He kicked my instep, pushing his toes into my feet and pressing them flat against the wall. He dug his knees into mine with enough force to make me cry out, but I still didn’t quit. I balled my fists and used the limited movement I had to punch him in the gut.
“Fuck.” Instead of making him move away, the pain forced him to lean in even farther toward me. His face was in my neck and his grip was even tighter than it had been. “Stop fighting me.” He grunted and forced himself straight so he could look me in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere until I say what I came here to say.”
I stopped moving and squared my jaw. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“I don’t care.” He loosened his grip slightly, but kept my feet pinned just as tight. “You need to.”
I squirmed again and he tightened his hands, pressing me back into the wall hard enough to make me grunt.
“I’m not leaving, and I’m not letting you go until you hear me out.” He wasn’t being mean, but the determined desperation in his face made it clear that he wasn’t about to back down.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. I was still tense, and my heart was pounding angry and hard, but I stopped struggling. He eased up on the tension in my legs and, after he was sure I wasn’t going to run, he freed my arms. He still didn’t have a ton of confidence in me, though. Only enough to press his palms into the wall next to my biceps, caging me in. He was much closer than I was comfortable with.
“Then talk,” I said. My voice was so soft and hoarse I almost didn’t recognize it.
He kept his face even for a moment, and when he spoke, it was with more genuine emotion than I could understand. “First of all, I am so sorry I let your secret out.” I swallowed, and after giving me a moment to sit with that, he continued. “I thought we were alone and I was louder than I should have been. You just had that same reckless look that you had on our first mission and I knew you were driven enough to risk yourself.” He glanced away. “You took off so fast. The only thing on my mind was getting through to you.”
“Well,” I said, “you definitely got my attention.”
He sighed and dropped one of his arms. “I never meant to do it that way. But you’re my partner, and I take that seriously. It’s my job to keep you safe in and out of the field.” He paused and met my eyes. “You’ve saved me twice now, so I owe you that much.”
I crossed my arms. “You didn’t tell anyone anything else, right?” His eyebrows knitted together, confused. “About the other things I had to do?”
His eyes hardened. “How could you think I would tell someone that?”
“You promised not to tell anyone about the Gerex or my double-agent status either,” I said. “I didn’t know what you’d say now that the secret’s out.”
I couldn’t handle looking at the hurt on his face. I focused on the worn blue mat and his black sneakers, feeling ashamed for even asking.
“Jocelyn.”
I stared intently at the ground, waiting for him to continue.
“Look at me.” His voice was so soft it made my stomach flutter.
I lifted my head and met his eyes. They were so open that they completely drew me in, and wouldn’t let go. “I would never tell anyone about that. It’s not even close to being the same thing.”
I exhaled slowly. “I didn’t think you would. But after what happened I couldn’t be sure.”
“Be sure.” He waited for me to nod. “Now,” he said. “About your latest suicide mission to North Korea.”
I shook my head. “Nikki shouldn’t have said anything.”
“She absolutely should have.” He lowered his arm and stepped back, giving me a little bit of room. “I would have killed you both.”
“I have to go back,” I said. “This is our in. Besides, they’ll know I’ve turned if I don’t. Wasn’t that your point before? I shouldn’t do anything that would blow my cover?”
“It’s entirely different and you know it.” His jaw tensed. “It’s one thing to take on a risky assignment. It’s another when maintaining your cover means putting yourself in front of them, let alone the fact that you’re considering staying.” He shook his head. “The number of ways they can figure out you’ve turned is more than I can list. And even if they don’t, what if they decide not to let you come back to us?”
“Do you think I want to go back there?” I asked. He didn’t say anything. “The idea that they’ll pull me back in—that I’ll end up back under their control, shot up with Gerex, scares me so much that I can’t get it out of my head.” I felt the emotion bubbling in the back of my throat and I had to pause to get myself together. Travis noticed and stepped back, letting me get some air. I pressed on. “And all of that is nothing compared with how afraid I am of what they’ll do if they work out that I’ve been lying to them. I’ve been dreaming about them since I got here and about what would happen to me. About what has happened to me. They’re in my mind constantly.” I swallowed. “But I can’t let them conquer a country using intel I collected for them, and do nothing to stop it.”
&nb
sp; He watched me, taking all of this in. “I didn’t know you’ve had dreams.”
“I didn’t want you to,” I said. “I didn’t want anyone to.”
“You know this isn’t your fault,” he said. “No one around here blames you.”
“That doesn’t matter, even if it were true.” I looked him square in the eyes. “I blame me.”
He didn’t move for a moment, then he let out a deep sigh. “I’m not talking you out of this, am I?”
I shook my head. “I need to do this.”
He inhaled slowly and nodded. “Fine. But you’re not staying with them. I’m leading your rescue team.”
My eyes locked on him. “What? No, you can’t—”
He tipped his head. “You can’t seriously think, after the number of times you saved my ass, that I’m letting you go back in there without making sure that you’re coming out. If you don’t let me do that much, I’ll do everything I can to keep you here.”
I blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the idea. Something in my chest loosened at the prospect of knowing I had a chance to make it out. Though I still had my share of concerns. “It won’t work,” I said. There were too many complications. “And besides, aren’t you benched?”
“I don’t care. This isn’t happening any other way,” he said. “Let’s go. Simmonds is still here.” He stalked over to the door without another word. I stayed stuck in place, trying to catch up to the conversation. Travis turned back around when he got to the exit. “Are you coming?”
“Right.” I hurried after him. I didn’t like the idea of involving anyone else in this, but the relief of not going into this alone overpowered everything else.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
GEARING UP
The walk over to Simmonds’s office had pushed my nerves. Strangely, Simmonds didn’t seem surprised to see us.
“We have a plan,” I said.
He looked back and forth at the two of us, his eyes resting on Travis for half a second longer. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s hear it.”
We sat across from him, leaning eagerly over his desk. “I’m going back into KATO,” I said.
“And I’m leading her rescue team,” Travis said.
“You’re suspended,” Simmonds said.
“I have more experience with KATO than any other agent in this place,” Travis said. “When this is over, you can order me to move back on campus and monitor me around the clock if you want, but there’s no way I’m staying behind on this.”
Simmonds tapped a pen on the top of his desk. “Let’s just hear this plan of yours before we get ahead of ourselves.” As I started to talk, he listened, intrigued, and then began taking notes.
“I’m going to do everything I can to destroy the missile or the hovercrafts—or both. I’ll do my best to shut their operation down enough to delay them, and bring back hard evidence that you can pass on to another agency.” I was sure I sounded more confident than I felt, but that was fine. I needed him to believe I could do this.
“And if you can’t shut it down?” Simmonds asked.
“Then at the very least, I’ll get information on their plan and some evidence,” I said. “And I’ll see what I can find out about Eliza and Dr. Foster, since they’re the keys to this. Once we have that, we can figure out a way to use that to our advantage.”
Simmonds gave away nothing as he studied us. “Elton, as the self-proclaimed leader of the rescue team, who did you have in mind for this mission?”
“Cody, Nikki, and Rachel.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Really? You think that’ll work out?”
“They’ve come around,” he said, giving me a sympathetic look. “And I wouldn’t risk this with anyone else.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed, but I trusted him, so I nodded anyway.
“What’s your timetable?” Simmonds asked.
Travis deferred to me.
“KATO didn’t say how long they’d need me,” I said. “But—” I hesitated, afraid if I said too much it would squash the whole mission.
“Joss, what is it?” Travis asked.
I glanced at him. “If I’m in there for more than a day, they’re going to try to give me Gerex.”
Travis’s eyes hardened, and I was afraid he was going to back out. “How can you be sure you’ll have that much time?”
“Because I’ll tell them I shot up right before they got me. They won’t suspect I’m lying to avoid an injection. The only reason they’d give me one early is as a reward, and they’re not going to hand those out yet. Not if they’re in the middle of their big plan. Rewards will come after.” I looked from Simmonds to Travis. “Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.”
“How are you supposed to get to them?” Simmonds asked.
“They’re going to stage a kidnapping. Once I get in touch with them, they’ll give me the details.”
Travis was still, thinking for a moment. Then he nodded. “You’ve got twenty-three hours from the moment they take you to do what you can, then we’re coming in. It’ll look like a rescue operation, because it will be one, only you’ll know we’re on our way. And we’ll do our best to disrupt their plans while we’re there.”
I relaxed slightly. “Okay.”
“Can you put all of us on a decoy mission to get us closer to North Korea?” Travis asked. “It’ll give her more time inside.”
“We can arrange that,” Simmonds said, then turned to me. “I know you’re familiar with the facility.”
“Oh yeah,” I said. “I know my way around every part of KATO. I can do this.” My insides were twisting themselves into knots so big I was surprised I couldn’t feel them through my skin, but the more I told myself I could pull this off, the more I started to believe it.
Simmonds considered us. “If you can get your team in and out of KATO, I’ll arrange for a safe house and we’ll come up with an extraction plan.”
“You’re signing off?” I asked, my heart pounding both out of fear and eagerness. “On both of us?”
Simmonds nodded a fraction. “I am. But, Elton, don’t think you’re off the hook.”
“Of course not, sir,” Travis said. “When do we leave?”
“I’ll work on a mission profile and have you dispatched to southeastern Russia within the next six hours.”
“I’ll contact KATO and let them know they’ll have an opportunity,” I said.
“Mission folders will be sent to you once they’re fully prepared,” Simmonds said. I looked to the mission map. We weren’t the only active assignment, but I was sure we were the most important. “Is there anything else you need from me?”
I thought for a moment. “If we end up using tech support, I want Sam Lewis on comms.”
Simmonds’s eyebrows knitted. “Walter is our best tech, and Sam’s only a student.”
“I realize that,” I said. “But Walter doesn’t hide how much he hates me. And I can’t be worried about him while I’m inside KATO.”
He turned to Travis, still not convinced.
Travis shrugged. “She trusts Sam.”
Simmonds nodded in concession. “I’ll allow it. But he won’t have full control, and he will be monitored closely. He may just be the person relaying information.”
“All I care about is getting the intel I need as easily as possible.”
Simmonds nodded. “That’s something I can agree to.” He closed his notebook. “Elton, you can assemble your team. I’ll have Sam meet you in the prep lab.”
I thanked him and led the way out of the room.
• • •
I walked briskly down the hall, my pace quickening as the list of things we had to do before we left got longer and longer.
“We need to go over the facility,” I said. “If you’re coming in, you’ll need to know the layout. We also need to go o
ver their intruder protocol. And there are some backdoor ways in that you should know about. We need satellite photos—”
“Whoa.” Travis took my arm and pulled me over to the side of the hall. “Slow down.”
“We don’t have time,” I said. “There’s so much we have to go over if we’re going to pull this off without getting caught. There are blueprints you need to see, security measures you need to know how to avoid, and all of this depends on them not having changed anything too drastically—”
He put his hand on my mouth to shut me up. “Stop talking,” he said, then held it there for another moment, driving home his point.
“Okay.” He lowered his arm to hold my shoulders. “Now, are you sure you’re going to be okay with this?”
I shook my head and tried to step around him. “That’s not important. There are other things—”
“It is important!” He tightened his grip, and it was enough to keep me in place. “When are you going to get that?”
I looked up at him evenly. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’ve had a lot of practice doing it on my own.”
He stared down at me, holding my gaze. “Well, right now, you’re doing a really shitty job.”
There was a fire in his eyes that finally made me pause. I took in a long breath through my nose and blew it out through my mouth. Then I nodded. “Okay.”
“Now. Let’s try this again.” He let go of me and crossed his arms. “We’re going into KATO. A place that held you captive for ten years. Are you going to be okay with that?”
I had a yes sitting on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it. “I don’t know.” My voice broke. “Yes. I need to be.”
“I’m not leaving you there,” he said. “We’ll make the rescue look good. They’ll never know it was staged.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing his words to be true.
“You’ll have surprise on your side,” he said. “They underestimated you. They never even considered the possibility that you could be strong enough to stand on your own.”
Crossing the Line Page 24
