Patriots Versus Bureaucrats

by Thomas Temple

  The events of April 4 placed the disappearance of Lawrence Carson far down the list of news priorities. The preliminary findings of the FBI attached a high probability that Larry Carson had met with a boating accident. In July that presumption would change dramatically, thanks to Hawkins, the Drama Club, and the Vulcan.

  April 7, 2015

  8:30am

  Olga’s farm near Bardstown, Kentucky

  Carson was still dazed from his abduction on Friday. He vaguely remembered entering his fishing cabin and then nothing until he awoke in a strange place either hours or days later. He had no idea of what day it was or where he was. For at least two days he was aware of being fed and seeing humans. The humans he saw did not speak to him when they provided food and water twice a day as he sat naked in his cell. The cell did not allow for him to stand and only a hole in the floor served as a latrine. Was he being held in some foreign country by terrorists? He had no idea. Soon he would actually hear human voices again, although that did not guarantee a pleasant experience.

  After consuming a gruel comprised of cornmeal and molasses and drinking the one large cup of water that he was given with each meal, Carson was aware that three people had approached his cell. There were the two large men who had taken turns feeding him and a small grey-haired elderly lady who was smiling. The lady spoke in a friendly southern drawl, “Good morning Mr. Carson, I hope that you have enjoyed being our guest. My nephews are going to take you to a more comfortable room so that you and I can have a nice conversation.” With that said, one of the nephews approached and tasered him.

  Carson regained consciousness and discovered that he was shackled to a metal chair in a dimly lit room. The elderly lady was looking at him and smiling. “Well, my dear Mr. Carson, it appears that you possess some information that my employer desires. I’m sure that you’ll be a sweetie and give it to me without much fuss. Let me introduce myself. I am Mrs. Olga Stromeltz and these are my nephews Frank and Jimmy.”

  Carson decided to show a brave face and demanded, “Who are you people and what am I doing here? You’ll get no information from me and I guarantee you that the entire Department of Justice will coming down on you shortly!”

  Carson’s words were met with loud laughter and the three people began speaking in a foreign language that Carson thought might be Russian. Olga responded, “I’m afraid that your Department of Justice is not recognized in this country and at this very minute they believe that you are residing at the bottom of Kentucky Lake.” These words sent chills down the spine of Larry Carson as he thought, “I’m in a foreign country and the FBI thinks I’m dead… God, this can’t be happening.” Carson looked at Olga and noticed that she was placing several stainless steel needles of various sizes on the small table in front of her. Carson starting singing like a canary and answering every question posed to him. Of greatest interest to Hawkins, who was recording the interview, were Carson’s passwords and access codes for the DOJ secure communications network. Within minutes Hawkins had transmitted the information to the Vulcan.

  Olga and her nephews left Carson shackled to the chair and left the room. Carson couldn’t help but notice that Olga had left the stainless steel needles lying on the table. He hoped that it was just an oversight on her part. An hour later Olga retuned alone, smiled at him and said nothing. After a few minutes Carson began to feel very uncomfortable with the silence and asked meekly, “Since I answered your questions, what happens now?” Olga did not answer and only stared at him with a smile that was becoming less and less pleasant. Finally Olga broke the silence and told him, “Mr. Carson, as a prosecutor you must know that evidence needs to be verified for truthfulness and accuracy. In this case I need to verify you. I will accomplish this with my little friends here who have a perfect record of ascertaining the truth.” To Carson’s horror, she was looking at the needles as she said “my little friends.”

  An hour later, Carson had repeated all of the answers that he had given earlier. He had passed out twice from the pain that Olga had administered with her needles. That so much pain could be caused by the smiling old lady using a few needles was beyond Carson’s comprehension.

  As he screamed and writhed, Carson observed that Olga was smiling and chuckling to herself. Obviously this old lady was a psychopath who loved her work. Carson had finally arrived at an accurate conclusion. Olga believed that torture was appropriate for three reasons: information, revenge, and her favorite, entertainment. He was blissfully unaware that the verification process accomplished by the needles would be tame compared to what awaited him over the next several weeks.

  April 15, 2015

  10:30pm

  Olga’s farm

  Hawkins arrived with two vans a said good-bye to Olga, Frank, and Jimmie. Olga and her nephews were going to Louisville on a short vacation. They would return on the evening of April 17. The farm would be used during the next two days for a very private performance by the Drama Club. The Collective was very compartmentalized and Olga and her nephews simply had no need to know what would go on over the next two days at the farm.

  Four men wearing hoods were ushered out of the vans and taken immediately inside. They would be kept in isolation until their performance tomorrow morning. They were assigned different rooms and all windows were covered by black plastic. These four men had been training for several months for the roles they were about to undertake. They had been collected at different parts of the country and secreted to their present location by the Collective’s transportation specialists. Six other men filed out the remaining van and set about the duties to insure privacy and security. The four hooded men did not know each other and would never meet again. Each man was to be paid one hundred thousand dollars for his performance.

  April 16, 2015

  10:00am

  Carson heard someone coming to his cell. He anticipated that it was either Frank or Jimmy coming to feed him. Instead it was a man he had never seen before. The man looked at him and threw him a garment.

  “Put this on immediately,” commanded the stranger. Carson did as he was told. The garment was a tunic made of burlap and had rough holes cut out for the head and arms. The tunic reached to his knees. This was the first time since he had arrived that Carson was not completely naked. The man unlocked his cell and ordered Carson out. Carson was escorted to one of the rooms that he had visited before. The man ordered him to sit in a metal chair and applied the shackles to Carson’s feet and hands. The room was very dim and Carson could make out what appeared to be a high table on the other side of the room. Soon the lights came on and Carson was surprised to see a judicial bench behind which three men in hooded robes were seated. A fourth man stood to the side of the bench.

  The three men in robes threw back the hoods on their robes and Carson was stunned to see three men made up to look like James Madison, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson. The man standing looked like Alexander Hamilton. The large man seated in the middle spoke, “The Citizens’ Constitutional Court will now come to order. The purpose of the Court’s business is the trial of Lawrence Edward Carson, US Attorney for the Eastern District of Missouri. This Court is hereby convened here in the City of Philadelphia, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, United States of America at 10:20 am on July 4th, Year of our Lord 2015. For the record the tribunal is composed of Mr. James Madison, Mr. Thomas Jefferson, and I, Mr. George Washington. The esteemed prosecutor is Mr. Alexander Hamilton.” Carson was incredulous. Surely this must be some sort of bizarre joke. It was several months before the 4th of July and the tribunal and prosecutor were long dead.

  Washington: “Mr. Hamilton, are you ready for your opening statement?”

  Hamilton: “I am, Your Honor.”

  Washington: “You may proceed Mr. Hamilton.”

  Hamilton: Thank you, Your Honor and distinguished tribunal members. We the people will prove beyond all reasonable doubt that the defendant, Lawrence Edward Carson, acting with the sacred trust granted him by the free people of the Unit
ed States of America, has cynically and outrageously violated that trust and turned his public office against the very citizens that he swore an oath to protect. The people will ask for the ultimate penalty of hanging for these vile and horrific acts.

  Washington: “Does the defendant, Mr. Carson, wish to make a statement?”

  Carson: “I do not recognize the authority of this so-called court and demand to be freed immediately.”

  Washington: “Is that all you wish to say?”

  Carson: “Yes.”

  Washington: “Very well, Mr. Hamilton you may proceed with your case.”

  Hamilton passed out copies of documents to the tribunal and displayed them on an overhead projector. Carson was stunned to see documents that he thought were protected by the DOJ secure communications network. Hamilton was thorough and methodical as he introduced the evidence:

  Exhibit A: A copy of the oath of office that Carson had taken when he was appointed to the position of United States Attorney for the Eastern District of Missouri. Highlighted was the phrase, “I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help me God.”

  Exhibit B: A current one dollar bill.

  Exhibit C: A confidential memo from the Attorney General to all US Attorneys encouraging them to maximize seizures under the Civil Asset Forfeiture Reform Act (CAFRA). The Attorney General explained that by evading the Appropriations Clause contained in Article 1 of the Constitution, the DOJ could increase its own funding without the approval of Congress. The US Attorneys were admonished not to let State and local law enforcement agencies poach their turf since it was the Federal law that allowed the States to horn in on the largess in the first place. Everyone was reminded that the DOJ fund was separate from the IRS seizure fund and that the IRS had the tremendous advantage of the tax code and the required reporting from financial institutions to assist them. Attached to the memo was a listing of US Attorney offices and how they ranked in asset forfeitures. Carson’s office was at the top of the rankings. A second attachment listed US Federal District Judges and comments on their individual level of support for the Civil Asset Forfeiture Reform Act. US Attorneys were advised to avoid bringing cases in the courts of a handful of Federal judges who were rated as antagonistic to civil forfeiture proceedings.

  A third attachment listed State and local law enforcement organizations that were deemed as significant competition in the growth of civil asset forfeiture.

  Exhibit D: The Fourth Amendment, Constitution of the United States

  Exhibit E: The Fourteenth Amendment, Constitution of the United States

  Exhibit F: Article 1, Section 9, Clause 7, Constitution of the United States

  Exhibit G: A report from the Drug Enforcement Administration, DEA, containing a scientific random survey of US currencies. The data showing that approximately eighty percent of the currency randomly tested for traces of illegal drugs showed positive results were highlighted.

  Exhibit H: A compendium of ninety-six CAFRA cases brought by Carson’s office that involved seizures at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport.

  Carson was advised that he could object at any time to the accuracy of the documents that Hamilton provided to the tribunal. Since Carson was well acquainted with the documents provided to the tribunal and knew them to be accurate, he raised no objections to their accuracy. He did object to any documents being offered as evidence against him on the basis that there was no legal authority for him to be tried by the Citizens’ Constitutional Court in the first place. This objection was overruled.

  Hamilton began his case by reading Carson’s oath of office and tying that oath in with a reading of the Fourth Amendment, the Fourteenth Amendment, and Article1, Section 9, Clause 7, that were documented in Exhibits D, E, and F respectively. This was offered by Hamilton as proof of Carson’s egregious violation of his oath of office.

  The prosecutor then brought to the tribunal’s attention the words displayed on the left side of the one dollar bill, “THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE.” Hamilton made the point that citizens had every right to carry legal tender and in some cases were required to carry legal tender because certain businesses and government organizations accepted only legal tender.

  He then brilliantly tied the right and sometimes legal obligation to carry legal tender in with the DEA report that the vast majority of the legal tender defined by US currency contained traces of illegal drugs. Hamilton then hammered home the point that the Government seizure of currency on the basis of said currency containing traces of illegal drugs was a blatant and purposeful violation of the citizens’ rights under Amendments Four and Fourteen of the Constitution.

  The prosecutor’s case had gone on continuously for two hours. Washington called for a one hour recess and Carson was returned to his cell. A man brought him a cup of water and a chunk of bread. The bread and water meal should have given Carson some idea of what Hamilton’s theme would be for the rest of the trial. It did not.

  At 1:00 pm the defendant was escorted from his cell to the courtroom. After he was shackled, Washington called the court to order and bade Mr. Hamilton to continue.

  Hamilton: “Thank you, Mr. Washington. I now call the tribunal’s attention to Exhibit C.”

  Hamilton painstakingly went through all of the wording of Exhibit C, emphasizing the predatory language and urgings of the Attorney General. The attachment that displayed the ranking of US Attorneys based upon their civil asset seizures was highlighted to show that Carson’s office was at the top of the list. Hamilton then showed the compendium of the ninety-six asset seizures conducted by Federal agents at the Lambert-St. Louis International Airport, Exhibit H, in juxtaposition to the attachment of Exhibit C that showed the asset seizure rankings of the US attorneys. The comparison left little doubt that Carson’s office had succeeded in being the top asset seizure office in the United States due to their activities at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport.

  Hamilton let this information be digested by the tribunal for a minute or two before he slammed home his most telling point: Lambert-St. Louis International Airport was a “port” in every sense in these modern times. The seizure of assets from innocent citizens as they transited St. Louis was an act of piracy, the airways existing as the modern day equivalent of the high seas of yesteryear. Lawrence Edward Carson was guilty of piracy and the traditional punishment of hanging should justifiably obtain.

  Carson was speechless and he thought, “Good God, they want to hang me for piracy!”

  Washington: “Does that complete the case for the people, Mr. Hamilton?”

  Hamilton: “Yes, Your Honor, the people rest.”

  Washington: “Does the Defendant have a response other than his denial of the authority of this Court?”

  Carson: “No.”

  Washington: “The tribunal will now begin deliberations.”

  Carson was led back to his cell to await his fate.

  Larry Carson was summoned from his cell at ten minutes past four in the afternoon. After again being secured by the shackles, Carson watched with trepidation as Madison, Jefferson, and Washington marched in and took their seats. All of the men had a grim expression.

  Washington: “This court is now in session and the tribunal has reached a unanimous verdict. Said verdict is guilty on ninety-six counts of piracy. Mr. Madison, do you confirm?”

  Madison: “I confirm.’

  Washington: “Mr. Jefferson, do you confirm?”

  Jefferson: “I confirm.”

  Washington: “Lawrence Edward Carson, you have been convicted of ninety-six counts of piracy by the Citizens’ Constitutional Court. The punishment is hanging. You will be transported from the Port of Philadelphia to the open sea where you will be hanged on August 5, 2015. Your remains will be disposed in international waters so as not to vilify the sacred soil of the United States. You may use the thirty days remaining in your life to make your peace with the Almighty. We are adjourned.”

 
; By midnight the members of the Drama Club had been driven to various secured dispersal points by the Collective’s transportation specialists. They would have no idea of where they had been or who their fellow participants were. One hundred thousand dollars was handed over to each of the four men.

  Hawkins remained with three members of his security team and waited for Olga and her nephews to return. At 10:30 pm the following evening she returned. Hawkins greeted the Stromeltz family and handed Olga an extra fifty thousand dollars.

  Hawkins stated that the extra payment of fifty thousand was to assure that Carson’s remaining stay at the farm would be “eventful and prolonged.” Olga responded in an exaggerated southern drawl, “Why Mr. Hawkins, you sure know how to impress a girl. You all come back soon, ya hear.” Hawkins smiled and said, “Just make sure this bastard suffers the torments of the damned.” Olga batted her eyes and assured Hawkins that his wishes would be carried out with enthusiasm. By 11:15 pm Hawkins and the three security men got into the third van and headed back to St. Louis.