Twisted

by Tracy Brown

  Lauren frowned and stood with her hands on her hips. “You’re crazy! That man is a racist. What did them girls do to make him classify them as hos? They weren’t out there dropping it like it’s hot. They acted like athletes, not hos.”

  Robin nodded in agreement. “You’re right. He was dead wrong. But ‘ho’ is a term that black people use. White people say ‘whore.’ So he obviously heard the term ‘ho’ from somebody black, and then he used it to describe a predominantly black group of women. But my point is that the term wouldn’t be commonly associated with black people if we would stop using it to describe one another.”

  Charly was going to be sick. “Robin, how can you blame black people for what he said? He said it because he felt like that’s all black women are—nappy—headed hos.”

  Robin started to defend her position, but Charly cut her off.

  “His ass should have been fired. Period.” Charly led Miss Pat to the dryer and adjusted the settings. “I’m going to the store. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  On her way out, Charly eyed Robin. Robin smiled at Charly, knowing that she wasn’t really upset about Robin’s stance on the Don Imus situation. Charly was heated about Robin’s visit from Ishmael. Ever since he had come into the salon to see Robin, she had been dying to know what was going on. But she had too much pride to ask. Instead, she had sulked around the shop for days and made evil eyes at Robin. It made her happy just knowing that Charly was so clearly jealous. Robin knew that Charly would be even more upset if she knew that Robin had spent an evening with Ishmael at his secret apartment. Their lovemaking had been intense and almost violently passionate. And she couldn’t get it off her mind.

  As the salon conversation turned to whether or not Jay-Z would ever marry Beyoncé, Charly left and headed for the store. She zipped her jacket up a little higher, amazed by the cold fifty-degree weather New York City was having in April. It was supposed to be warm, she thought. But a chill was in the air and she shivered a little. She thought about something Robin had talked about called global warming. Charly thought that maybe that was one of Robin’s rants that may have made some sense. Charly walked to the bodega on the corner and was at the counter purchasing a VitaWater and a pack of Altoids when in walked Nina Lords.

  Charly smirked as Nina rolled her eyes at her and walked on by. The two of them had gotten into their share of battles as coworkers at Dime Piece back in the day. And for some reason Nina still harbored resentment toward Charly. True, Charly had been intimate with Ishmael years ago. But that had been long ago, and Charly felt that Nina needed to get over it. After all, Nina was the one who had walked away with the prize—Ishmael.

  Charly paid for her items and lingered at the counter, pretending to put her change into her wallet. Nina approached, prepared to pay for her snacks, and saw Charly standing there. She rolled her eyes again and placed her items up on the counter as if Charly weren’t even there.

  Charly stood within inches of her, smiling provokingly. “Hi, Nina.”

  Charly waited for a response but got none. Nina handed the store clerk a twenty-dollar bill and waited for her change, wishing Charly would disappear. No such luck.

  “Damn,” Charly said. “You can’t even speak?” Charly shook her head as Nina turned to leave. She stood in Nina’s way, blocking her exit with a wicked smile plastered across her face. “I saw Ishmael the other day.”

  Nina’s jaw clenched visibly. She looked Charly dead in the eye, warning her silently to go away. Still, that last statement had piqued Nina’s interest. “And?”

  Charly was still grinning. “And nothing. He came to my shop, actually. I was surprised to see him there because—”

  “He came to your shop?” Nina was frowning now. Ishmael knew better than to step foot in that shop. He had slept with both Charly and Robin back in the day. He had to know that Nina wouldn’t approve of that shit.

  Charly couldn’t be happier. “Yeah. Like I said, I was surprised, too. I even told him, ‘This is Charly’s beauty salon, not Nappy Nina’s.’ He laughed when I said that. But he wasn’t there to see me. He came in to see Robin.” Charly grinned ever so slightly, pleased with herself for baiting Nina this way.

  Nina was vexed. “Robin?”

  Charly nodded. “He waited until she was done with her client and then they left together. She came back about two hours later.” Charly was exaggerating. But she was so enjoying the changing expressions on Nina’s face that she couldn’t resist fucking with her. “Is everything okay with you two?” she asked. “You two didn’t break up or anything, did you?”

  Nina glared at Charly, knowing that she was antagonizing her. Charly knew damn well that Nina and Ishmael were still together. This was one of the things she hated most about Charly. “No. We didn’t break up. And I’m sure Ishmael and Robin didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Charly shook her head. “I wouldn’t be too sure, Nina. What about—”

  “It was good seeing you, Charly.”

  Nina breezed past Charly and walked out of the store. With a sinister grin plastered across her face Charly watched Nina walk away. Sometimes it felt so good to be so bad.

  Nina called her salon and told her employee Jackie to hold everything down while she handled some business. Jackie agreed and Nina headed straight for the home she shared with Ishmael. As she drove there, she began to think about what Charly had said to her. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became.

  She was also thinking about the state of her relationship with Ishmael. Things between the two of them had been strained lately. She wanted so much more than he seemed willing to give her. Whenever the subject of marriage, children, or any kind of next step in their relationship was brought up, he clammed up. Nina was fed up, and as she approached her house, she saw Ishmael’s car parked out front. She knew there was about to be a showdown and she was more than ready for it. It was about time.

  She parked her car and then she walked into her house. She saw Ishmael lying on the couch watching TV, cell phone in hand. She wondered who he was talking to and decided to listen.

  Ishmael smiled, surprised to find her home so early. “Hey, ma.”

  Nina flashed him a fake grin and then went in the kitchen. “Yo, Rah-lo, lemme call you back.” Ishmael hung up the phone and got off the couch. He hadn’t really been talking to Rah-lo. In fact, he hadn’t heard from Rah-lo since he left Asia. Ishmael had been talking to Robin. He stretched his tall frame and smoothed his goatee. Then he followed Nina into the kitchen.

  Nina stood at the counter, pouring herself some juice. She heard Ishmael come in but didn’t acknowledge his presence. Instead, she opened the refrigerator, replaced the juice carton, and stood with her back to him as she drank her juice. Ishmael immediately sensed that something was wrong.

  “You left work early,” he said.

  Nina swallowed and then turned to face him. She hated herself for loving him so much. He was such a terrible choice of a man to give your heart to. She was disappointed in herself. After all, he was a playboy, a smooth-talking hustler with a warm cocoa complexion and flawless style. She should have known that he was going to be that way even after things got serious between them. Still, she loved him. She wanted him to be content with their relationship and to give all his love to her. His sex was amazing, especially his oral skills, which were out of this world. Nina (and many other women besides her) would do just about anything to keep him all to herself. He always had money he looked good, and he made a woman feel golden. Nina was steamed at the thought of him creeping with Robin—or anyone else, for that matter.

  “Yeah,” Nina said. She looked at him standing there in a wifebeater and jeans and she watched his eyes for signs of deceit. “I saw Charly today.”

  Ishmael didn’t react at all. He stood waiting for her to finish, but Nina stood silent. “Okay,” he said in response.

  “She said you came in her shop recently. Looking for Robin.”

  This time Ishmael was the one who
stood silent. That fucking Charly. He almost wanted to laugh at how persistent she was, but he knew Nina wouldn’t find it funny. Ever since Ishmael stopped dealing with Charly more than three years ago, she had tried to get with him every chance she got. The more he shot her down, the more havoc she’d wreak in an attempt to ruin his relationships with other women. She’d caused drama with Celeste and Nina because of her jealousy. She was impossible. But he would deal with her later. Right now, he needed to deal with Nina.

  “Yeah. I went to talk to her about Celeste,” he lied. He was always quick to find the escape route in a confrontation. He showed no emotion on his face, but the truth was his dealings with Robin had absolutely nothing to do with Celeste.

  Nina was caught off guard. “Celeste?” There was a name Nina hadn’t heard in a while. “Why would you need to talk to Robin about her?” Nina was now doubly pissed, because Ishmael had long ago admitted to her that he had feelings for Celeste. Nina believed that Ishmael loved Celeste, even though he couldn’t have her because she was in a relationship with his best friend. So hearing that Ishmael had gone to talk to Robin about Celeste did nothing to make the situation better for Nina.

  Ishmael leaned against the counter. “Rah-lo left Asia.”

  “What? Why?” Nina asked, frowning.

  Ishmael was happy to have her following his lead. “He said he wasn’t happy with her anymore. He still loves Celeste. So now he wants to find her. He went down to Atlanta to look for her, but he doesn’t know where to start. He wanted me to talk to Robin to see if she ever kept in touch with Celeste.” He folded his arms across his chest.

  Nina felt like she was going to be sick. Celeste. Nina had thought that she was finally rid of Celeste when she had left town. Now here she was again, giving Ishmael an excuse to talk to Robin and Charly. “I don’t think Robin talks to Celeste,” Nina said. “They stopped being friends when Robin brought Charly around the shop to start trouble after Celeste fired her.” Robin and Nina had in fact come to blows in a fight Charly had instigated. Then, after the fire that destroyed Dime Piece, Charly had hired Robin to work in her shop. That would give Celeste even more reason to steer clear of both of them.

  “That’s exactly what Robin said. I only talked to her away from the shop so that Charly wouldn’t hear our conversation and start some bullshit. Just like she’s trying to do now.” He inched closer to Nina. “Don’t let that jealous girl cause trouble in our house.” He smiled at Nina in the way she liked and inside she melted.

  “That better be all you were talking to Robin about,” Nina warned him.

  Ishmael smiled. He scooped her up and began to undress her. Nina didn’t resist. Piece by piece her wardrobe hit the floor until her naked ass rested in the palms of his hands. They kissed fervently and Nina moaned in anticipation. Ishmael took her right there in the middle of their kitchen. It was a spontaneous midafternoon quickie. Afterward, they lay on the kitchen floor, breathless.

  Ishmael looked happy, and he was. He was happy that Nina had stopped beefing. Nina looked at her man and was unsure whether he was telling her the whole truth. But it didn’t matter. His story made sense. She decided to have faith in him. Looking at him sitting there with the afternoon sunshine shrouding him, Nina pondered how much she really loved him. All she wanted was to take the next step. “Ishmael, when are we gonna get married?” she asked.

  Inwardly Ishmael groaned. Not this shit again. He sighed and tried a witty comeback. “Method Man said, ‘You don’t need a ring to be my wife.’ I’m going with that.” He laughed at his own joke.

  But Nina wasn’t smiling. “Seriously, Ishmael. Do you want that? I mean babies, marriage, and all that. Is that what you want?” Her voice was sultry as she spoke. She was trying to entice him with the thought of sealing the deal.

  Ishmael looked at her and then he shook his head. “No. I don’t really see that for me in the near future. I told you that and—”

  “I know what you told me, but how long do you think I’m going to keep waiting, Ish? It’s going on five years.” She couldn’t even hide her impatience.

  “Why we gotta have this conversation now?”

  “Because I haven’t heard you say what I need to hear.”

  Ishmael got up and headed for the shower. Nina was hot on his trail. “Why do you always walk away? That’s always your response.”

  He turned and looked at her. “Ma, please. Not now with all that.”

  “Then when, Ishmael?” She stood with her hands on her hips and her expression was dead serious.

  Ishmael looked at her standing there like that—making demands, wanting commitment. This was the part of relationships with women that he hated the most. The part where the woman couldn’t see the line between where her man ended and she began. Ishmael didn’t want a needy, clingy, nagging woman in his bed each night, didn’t want to wake up to that every morning. What he did want was for Nina to listen to him once and for all.

  “Ma, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not ready for all that. Kids and marriage and all that. I want it someday. Maybe one kid or even two, when I find the right woman.” The minute he said the words, he wished he could eat them.

  “So, I’m not the right woman?” Nina asked. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Ishmael shook his head, wondering what he was actually saying. “I’m not looking for a wife right now, Nina. Kids are not part of my plan. Maybe one day I’ll change my mind. But I don’t see that happening any time soon. I don’t want to lead you on, or sell you dreams. I know you want all of that. But I really don’t. Not right now.”

  Nina shook her head. “So, in other words, I’m not the woman you want to have babies with and get married to?”

  Ishmael felt like he was standing in a pool full of quicksand. “I didn’t say that. If I wanted to get married right now, I would ask you. You would be the woman I would want for my wife. But I’m not interested in getting married right now. That has nothing to do with you not being the woman for me. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough for me. It just means that I’m not looking for any of that right now. All I want is to enjoy my younger years as a single man. When I’m forty years old, I’ll probably be ready for marriage and kids and a white picket fence and all that. But I’m still a young man. I want to be a little selfish for a little while longer.”

  Nina stood there silently for several moments. “Forty? You’re not going to be ready to settle down until you’re forty?”

  Ishmael was growing increasingly frustrated. “I’m estimating!” he yelled, worn out. “What’s the problem, Nina? It’s like all of a sudden this shit is all you talk about, babies and getting married and—”

  “We have been together for four years, Ishmael. Four long years and I still don’t have a ring. You don’t want to talk about marriage or kids, so where does that leave me? I don’t want to wait until I’m old to start having kids. And I don’t think marriage means that you have to stop having fun. We could still have fun.”

  He heard what she was saying, but he didn’t care. Ishmael wasn’t going to be pressured into marriage or parenthood just because Nina was operating on some type of schedule. He sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you, ma. But we might as well drop this now. I’m not getting married until I’m ready to be with one woman for the rest of my life. Right now, I think that woman is you. But I’m not gonna lie to you and say that I know that for a fact. I don’t know. Things change. I don’t see why we just can’t go with the flow and see where it leads us.”

  “I’m wasting my time with you,” Nina said, exasperated.

  That was it. Ishmael was fresh out of patience. “Well, fuck it then,” he said. “Don’t waste your time with me anymore. I swear I’m tired of arguing about this shit. I’m not gonna let you pressure me into doing something if that’s not what I want. I’m not trying to get married and cheat on you the way Rah-lo did with Asia all those years. Celeste was the one he should’ve ma
rried, but he missed out on that by marrying someone he didn’t really want to spend his life with in the first place.”

  That was the last straw for Nina. “You talk about Celeste like she’s fucking Mother Teresa or something, Ish. How do you know he should’ve married her?”

  “Because he still loves her, that’s why.”

  “So do you.” Nina spat the words at him venomously, and they lingered in the space between Ishmael and Nina.

  He shook his head. “You’re still on that shit, huh?” he asked. “I haven’t even seen the girl in years.”

  Nina laughed, although she didn’t find a damn thing funny. “But you still love her. I can tell. Whenever you say her name you sound like you’re talking about a priceless diamond rather than Rah-lo’s mistress.”

  “Today was the first time we talked about her in how long, Nina?” Ishmael felt that she was looking for things to fight about now.

  “All of a sudden, Rah-lo needs you to find her for him? Why couldn’t he ask Robin himself whether or not she’s spoken to Celeste? Why couldn’t he, Ishmael? Is it Rah-lo who’s trying to find her or is it really you?”

  Ishmael’s eyebrows were raised in shock. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’m not stupid, Ishmael. Can you honestly deny that you still love her?”

  He shook his head in dismay. “I love you, Nina.”

  “Not enough to marry me, though.”

  Ishmael turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. He ignored Nina’s last remark and stepped into the shower as if she weren’t even there. The subject was closed as far as he was concerned. Nina stood there staring at the shower curtain, watching Ishmael’s silhouette through the vinyl. He lifted his arms and scrubbed his armpits, then lathered up the rest of his body. She watched his outline step into the stream of running water and rinse off. The bathroom began to fog up around her and she felt like it was swallowing her. This relationship was beginning to fall apart.