Twisted

by Tracy Brown

  Rah-lo shook his head. It seemed that all he ever heard from Celeste these days was “no.” “So you’re gonna let her win? You’re gonna let her keep us apart?”

  “It’s not about letting her win. It’s about accepting the situation for what it is.” Celeste was feeling overwhelmed by everything. In the past few days the man she loved had come back into her life, along with his friend, with whom she’d shared a physical and emotional chemistry; his wife, who was bitter; and the type of drama that Celeste had hoped she’d never see again. It was all too much at once. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her new life with Bryson, spending her Sundays with her mother and Nana and having her after-work drinks with Keisha. All this drama was for the birds.

  Rah-lo knew that Celeste meant what she said. He could see the conviction on her face and hear it in her voice. But he couldn’t give up that easily. He stood beside her, knowing that he had to do something drastic to get her to see things clearly. He walked over and asked the doctor on call whether Ishmael could regain consciousness any time soon. The doctor shook his head, explaining that Ishmael was heavily sedated and would be asleep for hours. That was all that Rah-lo needed to hear. He walked back over to Celeste and grabbed her by the hand. She looked at him, confused. “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “To your house. I need to talk to you without a million people standing around, without Asia starting her bullshit, without Ishmael—just me and you.”

  Celeste looked at him but didn’t protest. The truth was she needed to get out of there just as badly as Rah-lo did. She felt drained and she desperately wanted to go home. Waiting around for Ishmael to wake up was fruitless. She and Rah-lo headed out to his car and drove the whole way to her house in silence. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts, processing what had happened over the past several days.

  When they pulled up in the parking lot of her condo, Rah-lo parked his car and they headed toward the entrance. Just as they reached the lobby door, Rah-lo stopped her. “Listen,” he said. “I need to say this to you before we go inside.” He stepped in close.

  Celeste felt her heart racing in her chest. “What?” He was standing so close that she could feel the breath on her face.

  “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to have you back in my life. If I need to move down here to be with you, I’ll do it. I’ll get out of the game. Shit, I’ve wanted out for a long time now. Maybe this is the push I need to do that. I’ll keep Asia out of our life.”

  “How? You can’t even keep her out of your life now.”

  “I swear she won’t bother us again. I promise, Celeste. Just don’t say no to me anymore. Please.”

  Celeste looked into his eyes and saw that he meant what he said. Without second-guessing herself, she took him by the hand and led him into her place. They were silent the whole way. Once inside, Rah-lo looked around and was impressed by all that she had managed to accomplish on her own. Her home was so beautiful and so meticulously decorated. He hadn’t noticed that last night when he had been fighting with Ishmael. But despite how proud Rah-lo was, he had more pressing matters to attend to. Celeste was here with him, and there was no one or no thing around to interrupt them. Celeste was feeling the exact same way. It was almost too good to be true. Without a word, Rah-lo walked over to her, led her by the hand to her huge master bedroom, and made love to her until the sun went down.

  In the morning, she called in sick to work and watched Rah-lo sleep. She couldn’t believe that he was back in her arms, in her bed, after so many years. She wondered if she had made the right decision by sleeping with him. But one flashback to the night before and she no longer second-guessed herself. She recalled the way his luscious lips had felt pressed against hers, the way his big, powerful hands had felt as they explored her body, how he had felt inside of her. She thought about the way they’d moved together with a cadence that was as close to perfect as anything Celeste had ever known. Watching him now, sleeping peacefully naked beneath the sheets beside her, she almost wanted to cry. She had missed him so much, and now here he was.

  She reached over and touched his face, just to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming. Rah-lo stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the sunlight peeking through her sheer curtains.

  Seeing Celeste beside him, he smiled and turned to her, scooping her into his arms in a warm embrace. “Good morning,” he said. He hadn’t been this happy in years. Waking up beside the woman he loved so much made him feel euphoric.

  She smiled as he held her close. “Good morning.” She couldn’t understand why she suddenly felt shy like a little girl. She had known Rah-lo for over ten years. The two of them had practically lived together when she was in New York, and they had had sex in various degrees of intensity over the years. Rah-lo had fucked her, made love to her, seduced her, ravaged her, and seen her in every position imaginable. He knew all of her dreams, her fears, her triumphs, and her disappointments. He knew what made her happy, what made her cry, and all the things that made her smile. Rah-lo knew Celeste like no other man—or woman for that matter—had ever known her. He had been her best friend. But that was long ago.

  Now she felt as if a familiar stranger was lying beside her. She pulled the sheet up closer to her chin and rested on her elbow as she faced him. Rah-lo noticed her covering up but didn’t comment on it. He wondered what was on her mind, so he asked her, “What are you thinking about right now?”

  She shrugged. “Whether or not this was a good idea,” she said honestly.

  “Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?” he asked, frowning. “Because of your man?” Rah-lo hated the thought of any man kissing her, touching her, or, worse, making love to her. He knew all along that in the four years that had passed she had probably had sex with another man. Still, the very thought of that made Rah-lo sick to his stomach. So he didn’t ask her for details or press her on the topic. But he did want to know how serious she was about this dude. Because Rah-lo was there to take his baby back, whatever the cost. “What’s his name, anyway?”

  “Bryson,” she said. “But that’s not important. It’s this that I’m worried about … us. I don’t want to get caught up with this,” she said, motioning at the bed in which they lay naked together, “and forget the problems that we still have to face.” She looked at him seriously. “It felt so good to be with you last night.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said, smiling.

  She smiled back but then forced herself to be serious again. “But we still have a lot to talk about.”

  Rah-lo nodded, agreeing. He linked his fingers together behind his head and lay back. “Where do you want to start?”

  Celeste looked at him. Such a beautiful man. She got comfortable and asked, “What do you want from me now?”

  Rah-lo sat up and pulled the sheet off of Celeste. “I want to see your body, baby girl. Don’t cover yourself up like you don’t know me anymore. I thought about you so much all this time, imagining the way you looked when we used to spend the day in bed together. Don’t hide from me now.”

  She sighed, and felt more at ease with him seeing her in her birthday suit. He looked at her from head to toe and smiled. “That’s more like it,” he said. Rah-lo told Celeste about how his life had changed when she had left town so suddenly. He told her about his attempt to reconnect with his wife, including the family trip to Florida, and the fact that he had been feeling like he desperately needed to leave the drug game alone. He painted a picture for Celeste of a man who loved his children and had grown accustomed to a lavish and privileged lifestyle. But also a man who wanted peace and needed the comfort of not having to watch his back all the time. He was tired of looking over his shoulder 24/7, waiting for some enemy from some past beef to come back seeking revenge. Rah-lo was sick of the empty marriage he had found himself in, and sick without the woman he truly loved—Celeste. They ordered food from a restaurant down the street and ate it in bed, talking and catching up on each other’s lives. C
eleste listened to him insist on how much he loved her, missed her, and how sure he was that his relationship with Asia was over. And Celeste was encouraged. They laughed together, just like old times. They had a pillow fight when she made fun of his few stray gray hairs. For the first time in a long time, they were enjoying each other’s uninterrupted company and reestablishing their beautiful friendship.

  She told him about her life since she’d moved to Atlanta. How she’d enrolled in college and lived with her mother until after she graduated. Celeste described for him the rapport she had built with her mother and her grandmother. Nana was so full of wisdom, although she was growing slightly senile as she got older. Celeste told Rah-lo how Nana’s anecdotes about love and life had changed her perspective on many things. She also told him how her mom had stayed up late with her while she completed important assignments while she was in college. They had supported Celeste from start to finish. She told him about landing her dream job and purchasing her condominium and how good it felt to buy her own car for once and the joy she found in decorating her new home. She had lost weight, cut her hair, and changed her whole life around and it felt so good. She spared him the details of her new romance with Bryson. “But I did miss you,” she admitted.

  Rah-lo was so happy to hear that. He looked into her eyes seriously. “That night we met on Targee Street, I was there for a reason. I feel like I was there that night waiting for you.” He kissed her again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never should have let you walk away from me.”

  He kissed her, and made love to her once more. Later, Rah-lo relaxed in the huge claw-foot bathtub with Celeste perched comfortably between his legs. She needed to soak after all the sex they’d been having. Her head rested on his chest, his arms held her close to him, and the steamy water engulfed them as they sat together, reconnecting after so many years. They sat in silence this way for a long while. Both of them were relishing the feeling of being back in each other’s arms again, the feeling of not having to worry about time or spouses or responsibilities. They were in a world all their own.

  “I love you,” he said, breaking the long silence.

  She smiled. “I love you, too.” She scooped up some vanilla and jasmine—scented bubbles in her hand and wiped them on Rah-lo’s face. He laughed. So did she. As they sat together in the bathtub, playing and talking and enjoying each other’s company, Celeste realized that this was what she had always wanted. She sat with her head on his chest and listened to the sounds of his breathing, the rhythm of his heartbeat, and she fell in love all over again. This just felt so right.

  She turned over on her stomach and kissed him. Rah-lo held on to her big booty for dear life and felt so full of love for her at that moment that he would have asked her to marry him if he wasn’t already married to Asia. When their kiss finally ended, he looked at Celeste lovingly and he began to wash her body tenderly. He lathered her up and kissed her all over when she was clean. It dawned on Celeste that he was there to stay. There was no more wife to contend with, no more of Rah-lo’s hurried exits soon after their lovemaking ended. This was the real thing. When he finished bathing her, she returned the favor. She couldn’t stop kissing him. His lips seemed to be calling her name. His hands began to roam across her body and she was ready for another trip to paradise.

  That afternoon, the hospital called. Ishmael was showing signs of consciousness. The two of them went back to the hospital and went to Ishmael’s bedside. He lay there looking at them, but unable to speak with a tube down his throat.

  Celeste squeezed his hand. “Ish, we’re here. You’re gonna be okay,” she reassured him. To her delight, he squeezed her hand back. She smiled at Rah-lo, her eyes full of hope.

  Rah-lo smiled weakly. He looked at his former friend and then turned to Celeste. “Let me get a minute with him alone please?” Rah-lo asked. Celeste nodded and exited the room, leaving Rah-lo alone with his friend.

  Rah-lo sat in the chair next to Ishmael’s bed and looked at his friend. “Ish, listen,” Rah-lo said, unsure whether Ishmael was too drugged up to listen. But Rah-lo had some things to get off his chest. “I won’t sit here and act like I’m not still mad at you. I am. I know that you have love for Celeste. But you know how I feel about her—how I’ve always felt about her. And still you kept pursuing her in a sneaky way—calling her without telling me, coming down here when you knew that I still wanted her.” Rah-lo shook his head and looked at Ishmael. He was weak and heavily sedated by all the painkillers. Rah-lo almost felt bad for what he was saying, but it was the truth. Ishmael had betrayed Rah-lo in more ways than one. “Then there’s the shit with Cito. I thought we were boys.” Rah-lo looked at his friend and forced a smile. Ishmael looked like he was slipping away. Rah-lo had to accept that this could be his last conversation with his friend. “I guess we both made some mistakes and shit,” he managed. “I just want to say that I forgive you. And I hope that you forgive me too for whatever I did to hurt you.” Ishmael stared at Rah-lo, unable to respond. But Ishmael heard what Rah-lo had come to say.

  “Remember when we were kids, Ish? Every dime piece in the hood had a crush on you and you used to be a little Casanova.” Rah-lo smiled at the memory. “That never changed. But when you walk out of here, you’re gonna stop that. These women are losing their minds these days and that shit is out of hand now. Nina’s dead. She tried to kill you and she killed herself instead. But that’s not your fault. You didn’t make her go crazy. Just like I didn’t make Asia a fucking madwoman. But still, we gotta be easy from now on. I’m done with that player shit. I think Celeste is gonna give me another chance. This time I’m not gonna fuck that up.”

  Rah-lo sat with Ishmael for a while longer, offering him reassurance that he would pull through. The doctor interrupted and asked Rah-lo to leave so they could run some tests, and he stepped back into the waiting room. When he came out, Celeste sat alone. She looked up at him and offered a smile. He sat down in a chair beside her and sighed. Within minutes, Rah-lo had dozed off. He was awakened by Celeste’s wailing cry. Opening his eyes, Rah-lo looked around and saw the doctors trying to calm her down. Immediately, Rah-lo’s heart sank. He looked to one of the nurses for clarification. She shook her head at him somberly.

  “Your friend Mr. Wright passed away a few minutes ago. Every effort was made to resuscitate him, but we were unsuccessful. I’m sorry.”

  Rah-lo pulled Celeste into a tight embrace and held her as she was wracked with sobs. Ishmael was dead.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Clean Slates

  Asia dialed her mother’s number and dried her tears. Hearing her husband dismiss her for the hundredth time in the past week was more than she could stand. She felt helpless and hopeless and tired of trying to convince him to stay with her. Asia knew that Nina had gone too far. But truthfully, Asia might have done the same thing had she seen Rah-lo with Celeste. Asia had finally admitted to herself that it wasn’t about her loving Rah-lo as much as it was about her not wanting to lose him to Celeste. She finally wondered if this whole thing had gone too far. Ishmael lay dying and Nina lay cold in the morgue.

  Mrs. Hudson answered and was relieved to hear her daughter’s voice. “Chile, you have no idea how worried I’ve been. I keep dreaming about funerals and I don’t know if it’s yours, Raheem’s, or that mistress of his!”

  Asia sighed. “It might be one of Rah-lo’s friends. He got run over by a car and he’s in critical condition.”

  Mrs. Hudson gasped. “That’s terrible. Are you okay, Asia? When are you coming back home?”

  Asia shrugged. “I’ll be back soon. Rah-lo won’t listen to me and I’m tired of fighting for him. I guess it’s over.”

  Angela Hudson heard the pain and resignation in her daughter’s voice. Mrs. Hudson had never been the type of mother to hold or coddle a child. But at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to hold her daughter and tell her that she was going to be all right. “You’re strong, Asia,” she said. “No man is strong enough to break
you. Remember that.”

  Asia wished she believed that. But she didn’t. She felt broken. Rah-lo had tossed her aside like yesterday’s newspaper.

  “Rasheeda wants to talk to you,” Asia’s mom said, handing her granddaughter the phone.

  “Ma?” Rasheeda said.

  “Hi,” Asia said, sounding tired and fed up.

  “Ma, when are you coming back? I miss you.”

  Asia felt her heart melt. She and Rasheeda fought all the time. Rasheeda was a daddy’s girl and always had been. To hear her express that she missed her mom touched Asia profoundly. “You do?”

  “Yeah,” Rasheeda said. “It’s nice here at Grandma’s house, but we want to go home.” Rasheeda thought about her parents’ marriage and how she’d overheard her grandmother on the phone telling someone that Asia just couldn’t accept that Rah-lo didn’t love her anymore. “Ma, even if Daddy wants to leave, it’s okay. You still have us. Raleigh and Raven are being good for Grandma. And I haven’t been cutting class or none of that. We know you need us to be good right now, so we’re not trying to add to your stress. Just come home. We love you.”

  Asia felt tears cascading down her face as she listened to her daughter pour her heart out. “Thanks, ’Sheeda,” she managed. “I love you, too. All of you. Daddy does, too.” She sighed. “We’re not gonna be together anymore, but he’ll still be there for you guys. He promised me that. I’m gonna come home tomorrow morning.” She thought for a moment about the things Rah-lo had been saying lately. She took a deep breath and then said, “’Sheeda, I know I haven’t been the best mother in the world. A lot of what your father said about me was true. And I’m not gonna pretend that I’m gonna be perfect when I come home. But I’m gonna work on being a better mother to you all. I really am.”

  Rasheeda smiled. “Come home, Ma,” Rasheeda urged.

  Asia concluded her conversation with her daughter and began packing her things. Going home was exactly what she intended to do. She may have lost her husband. But she finally appreciated the blessing she still had in her daughters—and in her mother, too. Asia decided that it was time for her to start fresh, and that’s just what she would do when she got back to New York. Asia had finally found the strength to stand on her own two feet and the courage to let Rah-lo go.