by Aiden Bates
Sam had covered for Logan. After everything, Sam had covered for Logan. Why would he do that? Why would he step in and try to hide the consequences of the bartender's poor judgment from the eyes of the law? Maybe he had some kind of sentiment for Logan, but this was business. Sam knew that Logan's job was to try to erase Joe's from the economic landscape of Westbrook.
Could it be possible that Sam loved Logan? And, at the end of the day, did it matter?
He shook his head. He loved Sam, and maybe Sam loved him, but it didn't change a thing.
Chapter Eight
Sam stared at the test. It didn't stare back. It sat there on the edge of the sink in the bathroom while he sat on the edge of the tub and waited for the timer to go off. His stomach fluttered in his belly like a whole net full of butterflies, but it had been doing that ever since he started to suspect that he might not be coming down with a cold after all.
Siena lay down on the cool tiles and looked up at him. She knew that he was anxious, but she didn't understand why. Why would she? She was a dog. Things happened, time passed, and she didn't have to worry about them again. It wouldn't be a disaster for her if the test came back positive. She'd figured out pretty quickly that she was Sam's dog, and she was secure in her position. No matter what, she wasn't going anywhere. A baby wouldn't be any problem for her.
Silas was downstairs, working. Sam had bought the test yesterday before his shift started and had hidden it away in his room until now. He'd have to tell Silas if the test came back positive, but why get him all worked up if there wasn't a baby to worry about?
The timer pinged. Sam dismissed it and steeled himself to go check the timer.
The dipstick on the test didn't leave a lot of room for error. It wrote the word out for the user, right there on a screen: PREGNANT, in big blinking letters. They mocked him with their exuberance. PREGNANT. Sam wasn't just going to have a baby, like just about every other omega on the planet, he was PREGNANT. Were the flashing letters a celebration? A warning? A malfunction? He didn't know.
He disposed of the test and cleaned up, and then he dragged himself back into the bedroom. He was pregnant. He wasn't just PREGNANT, he was pregnant, as in going to have a baby. He'd always figured that it would happen eventually. He was careful, but nothing was ever guaranteed and he'd always figured that there would be a new baby Marlowe coming along one of these days.
He figured he'd have more time before things caught up with him.
He didn't know much about babies. He'd known a few other omegas in foster care, or one or two whose alphas rode, and they had spent their entire lives preparing for this moment. They'd taken care of little siblings. They'd taken every babysitting job that they could, from kids ready to start babysitting on their own soon down to newborns. That hadn't been something that had come up for Sam. He hadn't avoided kids, but he hadn't sought them out either.
What was he going to do with a baby?
Something heavy landed in the bed, and before he had the chance to object Sam found Siena pressed up against his side. He rolled over and wrapped an arm around the dog. "See? I can't even take halfway decent care of you, baby girl." He rubbed her belly, which seemed to be her whole goal. "I mean, look at you. You're not supposed to be climbing things yet."
Siena wagged her tail a few times.
The thought of trying to raise a baby intimidated Sam; it terrified him. He had to at least contemplate the idea of giving the baby up for adoption, but he dismissed the idea as quickly as it had popped into his head. Maybe he hadn't intended to get pregnant, or to get pregnant now, but that didn't make this baby any less his. He wanted this kid, and he was going to keep this kid no matter what.
He closed his eyes and forced his body to relax. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing worth doing was ever easy. He and Silas hadn't ever had anyone but themselves, not since Mom died. This baby would be a new addition, a new and vibrant branch on their family tree. He would teach the baby how to walk and how to read. Silas would teach the baby how to fight and how to ride. They'd both help it with its homework, when the time came, and teach it how to do the right thing and how to stand up for itself.
This baby would be a Marlowe, every inch.
They'd take a hit, in terms of the money, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. The brothers had always lived within their means. They'd been lucky and hadn't hit any major crises since Sam joined his brother, and Sam had managed their money well. Maybe he'd have to keep a closer eye on things for a little while, but they'd be fine. It was all worth it for family.
He could imagine the baby now, a wriggling little presence in his arms as he sat on the couch. The baby would be up for a three AM feeding, and he'd be watching a documentary about one of the Jupiter missions while he fed his son. Siena sat by his feet, happy and free of her cone. After a few minutes, Logan came in and dropped a kiss on both Sam's and the baby's heads —
Sam shook his head to clear the fantasy away. What was he thinking? Sure, Logan was the father. He should be aware of the baby's existence. He should pay child support, probably, although Sam wasn't going to push him on that. Lord knew he hadn't signed up for this.
But Logan, as incredible as he was, wasn't the staying-around type. He'd been clear about that from the beginning. Sure, he might have been willing keep Sam around as a dependent, as a kept omega. He'd been willing to keep him around as a dirty little secret as long as Logan himself was in town, but not openly. Not as his acknowledged lover.
That had been galling to hear when it only affected Sam. He couldn't let his child see his co-parent treat him like that. It would be the worst possible way for the kid to learn about relationships, and he could forget about getting any respect from the kid. No way. Raising a kid alone would be hard, but nowhere near as hard as trying to raise a kid as essentially the servant of an alpha. Even Logan.
Besides, he wouldn't be raising the baby alone. He had Silas. Silas wasn't the baby's father, but he was family.
He busied himself around the house until Silas came back upstairs. He didn't feel up to heading downstairs. He didn't feel up to being around people yet. Part of him felt like somehow they would all see, all know, and they'd all judge him somehow. It was a ridiculous fear, he knew, but it was real for him. They'd all find out eventually, and he'd have to face the music. And it wasn't like the typical Joe's customer cared if he got claimed or not.
Still, he would feel better if Silas knew first, and had his back.
When Silas came upstairs, Sam dished out some food for him. Sam himself didn't feel up to eating, but he could feed his brother. He followed Silas back out to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch. Siena followed him.
"What's up, little brother?" Silas took a mouthful of chicken and gave him an indulgent look. "You look like you're sitting on nails."
Sam swallowed. How was he supposed to break this to Silas? None of his musing or planning for the day had prepared him for this. He'd fantasized about the baby, rejected the possibility of trying to build a life with Logan, and decided about a life with his brother. He hadn't thought of the right words to use to let Silas know, though. Not once.
Silas was a normal guy, who loved his brother. He didn't need a lot of buttering up, and would just get annoyed if Sam beat around the bush. "So, I'm pregnant." Sam just blurted the words out.
Silas put his fork down. He stared at Sam for a long moment. "It's that smarmy bastard, Logan, isn't it?"
"He's not a smarmy bastard, Silas. He's a good guy. He's got his reasons for the way he is. I mean, I get that he's not our kind of people, but he's not the devil or anything." Then he took a deep breath. This wasn't about Logan right now. "But yeah. He's the father. Technically, anyway."
"Technically? Jesus, Sam, what are you talking about with this technical crap? There wasn't anything technical about it. You did the thing, and you got pregnant. That's as technical as it gets." Silas shook his head. "You tell him yet?"
Sam shook his head. His foot bou
nced uncontrollably against the floor. "I haven't. I just took the test today." He hung his head. "I wanted to tell you first, I guess. You're the one most concerned."
Silas sighed and shook his head. "I wouldn't say that, Sam. You are, first of all. But yeah. I hate to say I told you so, but well."
Sam shifted in his seat. "I know. I mean, I haven't told him yet, but I know better than to think he's going to be any good with this. He's a good guy, but he's not going to be willing to stick around here, you know? That's not something he's going to be okay with. He's got a plan for his future, and it doesn't include some guy who looks like me who can't fit in with the other wives and omegas." He chuckled at himself and ran his hands through his hair. "Especially not when that guy got himself pregnant without a claim, you know?"
Silas pushed his TV tray aside and slid across the couch. "Hey. You didn't get yourself pregnant, okay? That absolutely took two. Now listen. You were careful, right?"
"Well, yeah." Sam felt the comforting weight of his brother's arm settle around his shoulder and relaxed into the embrace. "I'm always careful. I figured it would happen eventually anyway, but that doesn't mean that I didn't try."
"Okay. So you tried not to, you did what you could, it's just one of those things that happens. We're going to get through it. But don't you think that it's okay for him to just skate on this. He doesn't have to take part in the kid's life, not if you don't want him to, but he's going to shell out." He chuckled. "If nothing else, we're going to have to pay for a sitter."
"You'll back me up on this?" Sam looked over at his brother.
"Of course, dumbass. Have I ever not had your back?" Silas ruffled Sam's hair. "Just remember, though, the next time I tell you a guy's bad news, you'd better listen."
Sam laughed, although his laugh probably came more from relief than from amusement. "I think it's going to be a while before you have a reason to give me a warning like that. I'm going to swell up to the size of a whale."
"Well, that'll just make it harder for drunks to hop behind the bar to join you, Sam." Silas giggled. "There won't be any room."
Sam threw his head back and gave a full-out belly laugh. Somehow, everything was going to be okay. As long as he had Silas, everything was going to be okay.
He woke up the next morning with a smile on his face. Sure, he had a new challenge on his hands. That was fine. He'd faced worse. Pregnancy wouldn't be worse than when he'd gone into foster care, and it sure wouldn't be worse than Foster Family Five. He showered and fed Siena, and then he took her outside to do her business.
Logan drove up while they were out there. He glanced around to make sure that they were alone, and then he bounded up to Sam. "Hey," he said, wrapping his arms around Sam. "How are you doing? I know you said you were fighting a cold before."
Well, no time like the present. "Er, it's not a cold, Logan."
Logan tilted his head to the side. "What is it, then? Are you sick?" He turned pale. "I mean — like, really sick?"
Sam sighed and shook his head. "I'm pregnant, Logan."
Logan froze in place. "Pregnant."
"Yeah. A sexually transmitted disease with an acute phase that lasts nine months, and then with a dormant phase that lasts the rest of your life." Sam scratched behind his ears. "And yeah, you're the father."
Logan drew his eyebrows together. "I wasn't going to ask, but okay. Are you sure?"
Sam nodded. "The tests are pretty accurate these days. I'm not sure how we managed it, because we were careful, but here we are." He held his hands out. "Condoms fail sometimes."
"I guess." Logan rubbed at his face. "Wow. This is… this is a lot, you know? I was not expecting that when I came into work."
Sam made a wry face. "Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting to tell you like this either. I figured I'd at least make you a martini first."
Logan barked out a laugh. The laugh had a little hint of hysteria to it, but Sam could hardly blame him. "I have no idea how to respond. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, you know? I just… I wasn't thinking about kids. Not now, not for a long time. So this is kind of out of left field. I have no idea what to feel."
Sam nodded. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed. Part of him had been hoping to get an enthusiastic response from his lover, but that wasn't realistic. "Does it make you feel better to know that I wasn't sure how to feel at first either?" he asked, instead of lashing out. "You should process this and stuff. I know you've got a lot going on in there and everything, and I'm not going to push you about anything." He patted Logan on the back, even though he'd rather have gone in for a hug, and headed back with Siena.
Silas was waiting for him when he got upstairs. "I saw you talking to Mr. Trattoria."
"Yeah." Sam bit the inside of his cheek and refused to rise to the bait. Silas would totally have his back, but he'd have his back by going downstairs and breaking Logan's nose. That wouldn't help Sam, and it wouldn't help the baby. "It's a lot to take in, for anyone. I wasn't exactly overjoyed when I found out, but I'm getting there." He ran a hand over his washboard abs. "He might get there. He might not. We'll be okay either way, right?"
Silas smiled at him. "Damn straight." They headed down to the bar together, bringing Siena with them. Everything might be about to change, but Sam had never felt stronger.
***
Logan got through his day on auto-pilot. He felt like a zombie, lurching around the trattoria in search of brains. He didn't think that he was obvious about having joined the ranks of the hungry undead, but no one really ever knows that they're stumbling through their day until they've left their cell phone in the walk-in.
Which Logan did. Twice.
He decided that he had a perfectly good excuse. He was going to be a father for the first time, or at least first time that he knew about. This was huge. This was a family. This was a chance to have a real family again, not a groaning wreck of a father in an efficiency apartment down in Bridgeport and a shiny gravestone flush with the ground. This was him, with his incredible omega, joining together and building something new and beautiful.
He could see it all stretching out before him. He could see his son growing up tall and strong, because Logan was a good-sized guy and the Marlowes obviously were descended from the frost giants. In the fullness of time, they'd have another. Logan would watch the kids while Sam worked at Joe's, and Sam would stay with the kids while Logan worked at the trattoria. They'd have a nice little place over in Gray, a little farther away from the bar and the shops, but that would just give them more time and space to ride. Logan went so far as to look up real estate that would suit their needs when he should have been looking for a cheaper source for Arborio rice.
It was a nice picture. It was a great picture, especially the part where he woke up in a big bed in a light-filled bedroom that pre-dated the Civil War next to the omega he loved. Unfortunately, he couldn't find a way around the facts of the situation.
He saw Sam walking up to a group of the other managers' wives and omegas, in a simple polo shirt that left his arms bare. He held their son's hand in his, and the little boy might have been two or three. The kid gazed up at his daddy like he'd hung the moon. They walked up to the other partners, and Sam smiled his sweet smile at them.
The other partners turned away, hiding snickers behind their hands.
The next image behind his eyes was of that same beautiful house he'd found online, with a sign out front. The sign declared the house to be for sale, with a big FORECLOSURE placard hung from the end. If he tried to make this work with Sam, he'd lose any possibility of providing for his child, or for his omega. They'd be homeless, and Logan would become his father.
Maybe Logan could even move back down to Bridgeport, and get the apartment next to the old man's.
No. There was no way that he could provide for Sam and the baby if he actually claimed them, or even acknowledged them. He wanted to be happy about the baby, but this was a disaster.
The saddest part about it was that he
actually loved Sam. Every passing day made him want Sam by his side more and more. All that he could think about was getting back to Sam. The baby made it impossible.
He finished the day, having to re-do the day's receipts three times because his distraction was so bad. When he was done, he made the deposit and went back to Joe's, with the intention of talking with Sam.
Joe's was pretty busy, and Logan guessed that was to be expected on a Thursday night. Sam made him a martini and turned to fill some drink orders. Sam looked tired, but he managed a smile for Logan as he went about his business.
Silas was there too. Silas was not smiling. On the contrary, he stared daggers at Logan. Okay, so Silas knew already. Logan figured that he should have guessed that would happen. Those two were so close that they might as well be one person.
