I'll Cover You

by A. C. Grey

  As she sat in the waiting room, Emmy couldn’t escape the fact that she’d failed Kate. The fact that she had failed to perform her job, to protect the President, was the least serious offense in her mind. She’d failed to protect the woman she loved, but she’d also failed her in so many other ways. She’d failed to have faith, to trust in Kate, to trust in her love. She’d taken the word of a stranger, Christine, over the love and devotion Kate had shown her. She’d let the stress and the threats of some crazies, get to her. She’d let herself doubt. And because she’d failed to communicate, to tell Kate what she was feeling, those negative thoughts had boiled over at the worst possible time.

  Yes. Her biggest failure was that she’d possibly broken Kate’s heart. Kate had put her heart on the line, had asked her to marry her. And what had Emmy done? She’d tossed it away like some piece of worthless trash. And the worst of it was, she might not ever get a chance to fix it.

  The realization hit Emmy like a punch to the gut. She hadn’t told Kate that she loved her. Kate’s last words to her had been words of love. But she’d slipped away before Emmy could respond. Now Kate was fighting for her life and she didn’t even know how Emmy felt. She didn’t know how big a mistake Emmy had made, and how much she regretted it. And now, Emmy thought with a sickening realization, she might never get the chance to tell Kate how she felt. To apologize. To beg for her forgiveness, and for her understanding. To tell Kate that she loved her. More than life itself, to use Kate’s own words. To tell her that she’d been a fool to throw it away so casually, over something so stupid.

  The realization made her stomach roil in protest. Unable to bear the pain, unable to face what her blindness has yielded, Emmy raced to the bathroom, barely making it before losing the contents of her stomach. When her stomach finally stopped churning, Emmy collapsed onto the cool tile of the bathroom floor and leaned her head back against the stall door. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, attempting to regain some semblance of control. After a few minutes, she rose and headed to the sink. Splashing some cool water onto her face, Emmy stared back at her reflection in the mirror, her clothes still stained with Kate’s blood.

  What the hell have you done, Harris? You’ve royally stepped in it this time. And unlike past mistakes, Kate could die before you get a chance to try and make this right. And even if she lives, she may not want you back. Sure, she took a bullet for you, sure, she loves you. But love is complicated. And why should she trust you again with her heart after the way you trampled all over it? Emmy let out a deep sigh and dried off her face. She had to come to terms with the fact that right now, there was nothing she could do to change what had happened. Right now, there was only one thing she could do. Pray. And pray hard.

  * * * * *

  As Emmy walked back into the waiting room, she saw Beth, along with Director Bell and the Vice President, Brian Baker. They were in mid-conversation, but halted as she approached.

  Bell was the first to speak. “Agent Harris, you’re relieved of your duties effectively immediately pending the outcome of an investigation into your failure to protect the President. I’ll speak with you about this in more detail. For now, you are dismissed.”

  Emmy was stunned. How had she not seen this coming? Of course she’d be losing her job. She’d failed on the number one job of a Secret Service agent – to protect the President. Yet, even if she was to be relieved of her duty, she wanted, no needed to stay. She needed to keep vigil. As Kate’s girlfriend. Then it occurred to her that she no longer even had the right to claim that title. And the loss of that position was one of her own doing. She struggled to fight back tears as she replied, almost in a whisper. “Yes, sir. Please, sir. Please let me know how she’s doing.” And then, with a bone-deep resignation, she turned to go.

  Before Emmy got more than a step towards the door, Beth spoke up. “William. If I may suggest – you may want to reconsider what you just told Agent Harris. As I’m sure you’re aware, Agent Harris was attempting to do her job when that stubborn woman with an overgrown sense of duty whom we call the President, stepped in front of her. In Harris’s defense, I’m not sure there was anything more she could have done. And trust me, William. If . . . when President Stewart regains consciousness, she’ll have your head if you dismiss this woman. In addition, as the President’s significant other, I think she has a right to be here.”

  Emmy silently shot Beth a deep look of gratitude.

  Bell grumbled and then responded. “Last I heard it, directly from Agent Harris’s lips, these two were no longer involved in a romantic relationship. And in fact, Harris had requested a transfer. Never mind the fact that I should never have allowed Harris to remain on the Presidential service once they became involved. What happened today is exactly the type of situation that could have been avoided.”

  “That well may be.” Beth replied. “But what’s happened has happened. There’s no need to unnecessarily punish Harris now. And I’m not so sure their relationship is over. But you’d have to ask Harris on that one.”

  “It’s not over, sir. At least if I have anything to do with it.” Emmy interjected, swallowing hard as she was once again hit with the realization that their relationship might indeed be over, in the very most final sense of the word, if Kate didn’t pull through.

  Bell nodded. “Very well, you might as well stay and hear this then. We’re just briefing the Vice President on the situation as it stands now. Brian has taken over the Presidency on a temporary basis, while Kate is incapacitated.”

  Emmy nodded and struggled to breathe. The fact that Kate could not fulfill the Presidential duties at the moment reinforced even more the seriousness of her condition. Emmy struggled to contain the overwhelming feelings of guilt, anguish, sadness, and fear that threatened to overtake her once again.

  Bell began his briefing. Brian Baker, a tall, gruff-looking man, was listening intently. “As you know, we caught the shooter, moments after the shot was fired. The failure to secure the perimeter and to apprehend the man prior to the attack is unacceptable and we’re in the process of getting to the bottom of it. What we know so far is this. The shooter, a man by the name of Gary Zinman, is a member of a small, but sophisticated extremist group. We captured Zinman alive and it didn’t take long for FBI agents to get him talking. He’s named all of the other members of his group and we’ve got units out to apprehend them. So far, everything he’s told us lines up with the intelligence we’ve gathered so far. As you’re probably aware, we were close, but apparently not close enough, to getting these guys as of late yesterday. President Stewart had made it abundantly clear that this was her number one priority and hovered over our shoulder every step of the way.”

  Emmy zoned out for a moment as those words hit home. Bell’s words knocked the wind out of her. She’d doubted Kate. Told her that she didn’t care about finding these creeps, that she’d taken her family’s safety too lightly. Clearly that hadn’t been the case at all. Why hadn’t Kate told her she was being an idiot? Then it occurred to her that she hadn’t let Kate get a word in edgewise. She’d just ranted and yelled and run off. Emmy thought she might never recover from what felt like a never-ending feeling of failure. She knew one thing for sure. If she got the chance, she’d spend the rest of her life making it up to Kate, but right now, that was not in her hands. It was in the hands of those doctors, in the hands of God, in the hands of Kate and her will to live. Emmy just hoped and prayed that Kate still felt like she had something, or more importantly, someone, to live for.

  Emmy slowly tuned back into the conversation. Apparently, Zinman had gained access through the tight security because they’re recruited a Secret Service agent to join their cause. An agent named Charles Burke. She didn’t know him well, but Emmy couldn’t help but feel betrayed beyond words. Burke had sworn an oath to protect the President and he’d thrown that away over something like gay rights? Was that really a cause worth killing for? She struggled to focus as the others around her continued their dis
cussion. Ways to deal with the media, ways to continue the investigation, and all other sorts of things that were not really of Emmy’s immediate concern. Right now, all she was focused on was Kate.

  * * * * *

  A short time later, Kate’s parents, who had left just this morning to head back to their home in San Diego, arrived. Kate’s mom immediately pulled Emmy into a tight hug. Emmy felt a little guilty, given the way she’d left things with Kate and the way she’d failed her this morning. Despite this guilt, she sunk into the older woman’s arms, needing desperately to feel some comfort. After Kate’s parents had been briefed, the group settled in to hold vigil, waiting for any news from the operating room. They struggled to make awkward small talk, but it was all they could do to manage the time and the stress.

  After a while the conversation died out and they settled into a tense silence, each person struggling to find ways to occupy themselves. Eventually, Barbara Stewart broke the silence. “Thank you, Emmy.”

  Confused, Emmy studied her. “For what?”

  “For trying to save my daughter. I saw what you did. Kate can be so pig-headed sometimes,” she shook her head. “Stepping in front of you,” Barbara paused for a moment before qualifying her statement. “Not that I’m suggesting that I’d want you to be shot. Of course not. But perhaps if she’d have let you do your job, you could have gotten both of you out of harm’s way in time. So thank you.”

  Emmy sighed. The last thing she wanted was any sort of suggestion that she’d done her job, that she’d protected Kate. She hadn’t. She hadn’t protected Kate’s life. Or her heart. “You’re welcome. But I’m sure Kate told you how horribly I treated her last night. That the last real conversation we had, I said some hateful, hateful things. I’ll never forgive myself. And if she pulls through this, I’m not sure she’ll forgive me either.”

  Barbara shook her head and placed a gentle hand on Emmy’s knee. She peered into Emmy’s eyes with the same blue eyes her daughter possessed. “You’re the love of my daughter’s life. That much I know. Any differences you have, you’ll work them out. So, when Kate pulls through, you two can talk that out. Because you love each other and you make each other happy. And that’s all there is to know.”

  Emmy sighed and nodded. “Thanks.” It was the only response she could manage before tears began to roll down her cheeks. Barbara pulled her in for another hug, but their embrace was cut short by the entrance of Kate’s surgeon.

  Emmy wiped her eyes and peered up at the man expectantly, desperately trying to garner any sort of sign as to Kate’s condition from the doctor’s expression.

  “She’s stable. For now,” he began.

  Emmy let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

  The surgeon continued. “She sustained massive internal bleeding and the bullet nearly hit her heart. A few millimeters over and we’d be having an entirely different conversation. She’s not out of the woods yet. She’s still unconscious and the next 24-48 hours will be key. If she can hold on for that long, she’s got a fighting chance. She’s in the ICU, but can take visitors. Only one or two people at a time.”

  “Thank you doctor,” Kate’s father replied. “For everything you’ve done for my daughter.”

  The man nodded and headed out the door.

  Emmy waited for Kate’s parents to leave to visit their daughter, but surprisingly, they made no move for the door.

  “You should go first, Emmy,” Kate’s father said, as if reading her thoughts. “It’s what Kate would have wanted.”

  “No, you should . . .” Emmy started to protest, but he raised a staying hand.

  “I insist. Go.”

  Emmy nodded. “Thank you. I won’t be long.”

  “Take your time, dear.” Barbara said.

  Emmy offered them a small smile and let the nurse lead her to Kate’s room.

  * * * * *

  Emmy wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but the sight before her sent a jolt right through her body. Kate looked so small, so pale, so weak. Lying there in the bed, her blonde hair unkempt and matted, her body a mess of wires and tubes, the only noise in the room was the sound of the heart monitor and the respirator. The sight . . . it left Emmy breathless. She quickly moved to the chair beside the bed, not trusting her legs to hold her much longer.

  Emmy gingerly took Kate’s hand between both of her own, laid her head on the bed, and began to sob. She took a few moments to just be in the moment. To allow herself to feel the gamut of emotions flooding through her. The guilt, the pain, the heartache, the fear, and now, the relief. The relief at the fact that Kate had at least made it through surgery. After a few minutes, Emmy steadied her breathing and looked up at the woman she loved.

  She gently reached out and caressed Kate’s cheek, taking a moment to smooth out her hair, to tuck a stray lock behind her ear. Finally, she began to speak.

  “Hey. It’s me. I’m not even sure if you’d want me here if you were awake and had a say in things. I’ve messed things up in the worst way. I’m not going to say much right now because you need to focus on getting better. I hope that when you wake up, you’ll give me a chance to apologize for all the ways that I’ve failed you. I hope you’ll forgive me. Because I know that I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I love you Kate Stewart, so much. More than I ever thought possible. I’ve been a fool to push you away. It was and probably always will be the biggest mistake of my life. So I need you to stay with me, to pull through. So that, if you’ll have me, you can spend the rest of our lives making sure I never live that mistake down. I’m trusting in you to fight. You are one of the most stubborn, brave, and strong people I’ve ever met. So right now, I need you to be a fighter. For me. For you. And hopefully, for us. Because I love you, Kate Stewart, and I don’t know if I can live without you. Please don’t make me test that theory. Please, I need you to live.”

  Emmy’s face was streaked with tears as she stared at Kate’s limp, pale body. After taking a few more moments, Emmy squeezed Kate’s hand, gently kissed it and rose. “I’ll be back soon. I love you so much, Kate. More than life itself.” She needed to let Kate’s parents have some time with their daughter. Just as Emmy turned to leave, a sound that filled her heart with dread rang out.

  The heart-monitor let out a high-pitched squeal as Kate flat-lined.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  The squealing of the heart monitor invaded the room and Emmy struggled to function. She opened her mouth to cry out for help, but was unable to muster the air needed to make a sound. Fortunately, a team of doctors and nurses rushed into the room and immediately began to work to resuscitate Kate.

  Emmy didn’t know exactly what happened, but she somehow ended up back in the waiting room, struggling, along with Kate’s parents, to hold out hope. They’d managed to restart Kate’s heart and had rushed her back into the operating room for more emergency surgery. Something about more internal bleeding. Emmy was sure there were more details, but she couldn’t focus on them right now. All she could focus on was the fact that Kate could die. It was a very real chance. And she didn’t know how she’d deal with that if it happened.

  The hours ticked by. With each passing hour, each passing minute, each passing second, Emmy grew more and more on edge. It was as if her life, her happiness, her future, were grains in an hourglass. And they were slowly slipping away. She struggled to be patient, reminding herself that just because there was no news did not necessarily mean that things had gone badly. In fact, it meant that Kate was still alive, still fighting. She knew what a strong woman Kate was. Emmy just prayed that she was strong enough. Strong enough to fight death itself.

  After what seemed like an eternity, the surgeon came into the waiting room. Emmy saw his lips moving, heard the sound of his voice, saw the expressions on his face. But only two words got through. “She’s alive.” Emmy slid to the floor, unable to withstand the stress and pressure, overwhelmed with the sudden relief brought on by the news. She broke down for what seeme
d like the thousandth time since the incident, crying until she could cry no more. She vaguely registered the comforting arms of the Stewart family around her, but only one thing stuck in her mind. She’s alive.

  As Emmy was escorted back to Kate’s bedside, she struggled to temper her joy. Kate had made it, but she wasn’t out of the woods, the doctor had made that much clear. And given the near heartbreak Emmy had experienced just hours before, she was careful not to let her guard down too much. But she would stick with this woman for as long as she’d have her. Emmy realized that she’d stick with Kate for the rest of their lives, whether that proved to be years or just a few hours was yet to be seen. Emmy was praying that it would be the former and not the latter. Because if there was one vital lesson she’d learned over the past day or two, it was that love was what mattered. Above all else. She’d put too much stock in rumors, in doubts, in inconveniences, in trivial problems. Never again. If Kate fought this battle and won, Emmy would made damn sure she never, ever, ever took the gift that was Kate’s love for granted. Ever again.