The Book of the Wind

by Carrie Asai

  “Wow,” I echoed. I wondered how we would sort out the sleeping arrangements. “I’ll sleep on the floor,” Teddy said, reading my mind. “Or—you know what? There might be cots available downstairs. I can go check. I wanted to see the outside of this place, anyway. Apparently they’ve got a phat pool. You wanna come?”

  “I think I’ll lie down for a little bit,” I said. “If you don’t mind.”

  “C’mon, please?” Teddy said. “I bet it’s the bomb.”

  “I can look at it later,” I said. “I haven’t slept….”

  Teddy still hesitated. Then I realized: he thought I was going to escape. “Honestly, I’m just going to lie down,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

  “Okay,” he said uncertainly. He still didn’t move. I lay down on the bed and put a pillow over my head. He stood there for a long time, then I finally heard the latch click and the door close.

  I was alone.

  I rooted through my bag to find my traceless cell phone. I didn’t want to make this call on the hotel phone: the number would show up on the bill. Teddy might recognize it. My heart pounded as the phone rang. And rang. And rang.

  “Hello?” Karen picked up.

  Nerves streaked through my stomach. For some dumb reason, I hadn’t thought of the possibility that Karen might answer. Shit. This girl hated me. She’d told me off on several different occasions. “Uh…Karen,” I said. “It’s Heaven.”

  “Oh.”

  There was a pause.

  “How are you, Heaven?” she said softly.

  “I’m…I’m fine,” I said. I was taken aback by her sweet tone of voice. “Um…is Hiro there? I—”

  “He isn’t, I’m afraid,” Karen interrupted. “Sorry about that.”

  Why was she being Superpolite Girl?

  “Oh…well…can you give him a message?”

  “Of course. Let me get a pen.”

  She got off the line. I was afraid she was going to hang up, but then she came back. “Okay, all ready,” she said.

  “I’m at Joshua Tree in bungalow number nine. Please tell him I need him to meet me. Or at least call me back. He can call my cell phone. Here’s the number.” I gave her the digits.

  “Joshua Tree. How nice,” Karen murmured.

  “Well…it’s not like that, exactly. I’m with Teddy Yukemura.” I didn’t know if Karen knew who Teddy was, but maybe she’d write that down in the message.

  “Uh-huh,” Karen cooed. What, had she decided to take her medication today? I was completely confused. Or…or maybe she wanted to make amends.

  She repeated my number back to me. “Is that right?” she said.

  “Um, yeah,” I said cautiously. “Tell him it’s urgent.”

  “Of course,” she said.

  Okay. This was just too strange. But I figured…maybe we could patch things up. “Listen, Karen, I’m really sorry about everything,” I started. “I’ve been wanting to explain to you and make things right, but now I’m out of town….”

  “Oh, don’t worry,” Karen said. “It’s really no problem, Heaven. I understand everything. Okay, I have to go now. I’ll give Hiro the message. Bye!”

  She hung up. I hit the end button and stared at my phone.

  I hang up the phone.

  What is she doing calling him?

  Things have been tense between Hiro and me. I’m not the kind of girl who gets all worked up if the guy I’m interested in doesn’t call me for a whole day or acts distant if we get into a fight about something. But this is different. There’s something wrong.

  Hiro hasn’t been explaining a lot of things to me since our relationship began. I can accept this. There are some things that I just should not know, some things that are for him and Heaven to deal with. I realize who Heaven is and the danger she is in. When I remarked yesterday that I hadn’t seen Heaven in a while and Hiro said that she had gone away, I will admit that I breathed a big sigh of relief. Of course, Hiro didn’t tell me where she went or anything. Or why.

  But now he won’t stop talking about her.

  It’s like she’s still sleeping on his couch. He’ll just bring up random references to Heaven when the conversation hasn’t been calling for it (do our conversations ever?). And today he combed through the papers obsessively—something he doesn’t do very much.

  I think he’s looking for stories about her.

  When he brought her up yesterday out of nowhere, I’d just about had it. I said, “Why are you so obsessed with her? What is it, absence makes the heart grow fonder or something?” I know, I know. Real mature. But I couldn’t help it. I can’t explain.

  I also didn’t tell him about the fight we had in the park. That I’ve told her to stay away. But she hasn’t.

  She doesn’t care.

  I know what she wants.

  Hiro looked at me for a long, long time, not saying anything. “You should be thankful for her,” he said finally. “She saved you, remember?”

  Then I let out a long scream and went home and threw myself on the bed, crying silently. This is what he always says. “Oh, she saved you, I was so worried that I even sent her in there to fight those guys.” Meanwhile, does he have any idea what it was like to be kidnapped by them? To be stuck with them for three days? Alone, scared? While they chattered away in Japanese? They kept me blindfolded the whole time!

  But no. It’s all about Heaven’s needs.

  When Hiro tried to call and (I assume) apologize, I let the phone ring and ring and ring and ring. Finally I answered. I tried to explain myself rationally.

  Hiro said, “No, no, it’s not like that—you’re the one I want to be with.” I finally relented and went over to his house. We made up, more or less. But I felt uneasy.

  Still, I spent the night. Hiro was so loving. I thought, well, maybe this can turn around. Maybe the thing with Heaven was all in my head. And in the morning he goes to work and promises we’ll have a romantic dinner together later, and I’m all excited, and I hang around the house for a while, thinking what a silly girl I’ve been, and the phone rings. And I pick up.

  And it’s Heaven.

  Calling from Joshua Tree. The most romantic park ever.

  And you know what she tells me? (I’m getting so emotional, I can feel my heart racing, but too bad.) She tells me that she wants Hiro to come and pick her up. As if this has been some big plan they’ve hatched and she’s all nonchalant about it, thinking that I know! What have they been saying about me behind my back? Is this some big joke that I’m not in on? Am I the butt of the joke?

  I should’ve yelled at her again. But I didn’t. Yelling wasn’t getting through to her. So…I was nice.

  And she apologized!

  The bitch. She’s not sorry.

  Tell him it’s urgent, my ass.

  I never even knew I had this kind of anger inside me. I’ve been pacing back and forth ever since. I got so angry that I disconnected the phone from the wall. And now Hiro is late. Has she gotten ahold of him somehow, is he going out there? And he won’t even call and tell me?

  I hear his key in the door now. Okay. He hasn’t gone. Still, my fists are curled into purple balls. I look frightful. I glance over at the phone in the kitchen. If she calls again, she won’t get through.

  Karen

  9

  I sat in the dark for some time, my heart still beating hard. Last time I talked to Karen, she was completely territorial about Hiro. Sort of like a dog.

  But maybe…maybe she realized how silly that was. Maybe Hiro explained my situation to her logically so she could understand. Perhaps I’d underestimated her. As I was thinking about this, Teddy came bounding back through the door.

  “You’re still here,” he said. I wondered if he’d sat at the end of the hall the whole time, watching my room. But then I noticed he was carrying a cot with him and some blankets. “What do you say we get some really fancy grub tonight? I checked out the options in the lobby, and it looks like this one restaurant downst
airs is really dope.”

  I shrugged. The prospect of food did sound good, but I was worried someone might see us.

  “It’s totally private,” Teddy went on, answering my unspoken question. “No risk, honest.” He was holding something else in his hand, too. A bag, from the boutique downstairs. “I bought you something to wear tonight. Instead of the tube top. I thought you might be getting a little cold. I mean, if you want to wear it, that is…”

  I opened the bag and saw that it was the black Chloé dress I’d had my eye on. It was cool and modern and layered and reminded me of the cool kogyaru girls in Tokyo in all their layered clothes. I turned over the price tag. It was in my size. And expensive. I gaped up at him.

  “Are you sure?” I said. “This is beautiful!”

  I couldn’t believe Teddy was being so thoughtful. He could have bought me something superscary, like the thong-underwear kind of costumes the girls wear on rap videos, or something that was total leather, or…

  “You like it?” Teddy asked. “I got myself a button-down shirt, too. I didn’t think they’d let me in wearing this getup I’ve got on now.”

  God, was this the same Teddy I was hearing? Mr. Ghetto Boy Rapper Jay-Z Wanna-be In The Club was now Mr…. I don’t know…Brooks Brothers? I glanced down at my dress again. It had been a million years since I’d worn a dress. I’d never even worn one around Hiro. He’d only seen me in casual clothes and workout stuff.

  Hiro. A nervous feeling shot through my chest. Would he call me back? How would I answer the phone so Teddy didn’t see?

  Shit. I should have told him a specific time to call.

  Unless…unless he just showed up.

  I took a luxurious bubble bath while Teddy watched TV, thinking all the while about Hiro. My legs and body felt sore from the botched fight last night. I looked at all the bruises on my shoulders and torso. I wondered what Hiro would have thought of my terrible fighting. And my drinking: Hiro never drank. Said it was a poison, said it made you weak.

  Why had Karen acted like such a freak on the phone? Why had she been supernice?

  I didn’t get it.

  Had Hiro told her that I was supposed to forget him? Was she just faking me out?

  I slipped out of the tub, still feeling hopeful. The dress hung on the back of the door. I eyed it cautiously. Teddy was trying to buy me into marrying him, but there was something else there, too. Something tender.

  I sighed and slid the dress over my head. I gazed at myself in the mirror. I didn’t have any styling products or makeup, but somehow it didn’t matter. The dress offset my skin tone and hugged my body perfectly. I drew my breath in. It had been so long since I’d worn nice clothes. And it was such a relief to put on something other than the jeans I’d been wearing for three or four days straight.

  I came out of the room slowly. Teddy’s mouth dropped open. “Heaven,” he whispered. He opened his mouth to say something further, but nothing came out. He didn’t look bad either in his new button-down shirt. He’d bought himself new pants, too. “Girl, you clean up nice,” he said.

  At dinner Teddy continued his gentleman act to such perfection that I began to think it wasn’t an act at all. He picked up a roll and buttered it.

  “I have to apologize to you for the way I acted on our…wedding day. I was a mad coward. I thought those guys were after me or my father. I never thought it was your brother who was the target. I just went on instinct. I’m sorry.”

  I thought back to the wedding, when Teddy had used me as a shield, leaving me totally exposed to the ninja’s attacks.

  “My dad and I were messed up in some stuff around that time. I thought that was what was going down,” Teddy went on. “I didn’t know….”

  He cleared his throat. “Also, if I knew you then the way I know you now, I would have never, ever have done what I did. I would take a bullet for you, Heaven. I would never have thrown you to the wolves. I would protect you from anything.” He looked at me very sincerely. A little shiver ran up my spine.

  I couldn’t believe it. Teddy was more smitten than I’d thought.

  But Teddy kept going. “And Heaven, I have to tell you, since I’ve come to know you better…I…” He blushed. I blushed, too. He looked so sweet trying to explain his feelings. Almost sexy. His hair didn’t look so brassy, his face didn’t look so bulldoggish and thuggish, his body didn’t look so huge and beefy. He looked…masculine. Rugged.

  I wondered if Teddy and I, under other circumstances, might have gotten together. If we hadn’t been forced on each other, if our families hadn’t been so screwed up, if we hadn’t been running from our own separate demons. I sighed.

  “Do you really know nothing about what happened at the wedding?” I asked him. It was a question I’d asked him quite a few times before, and he’d said the same thing every time.

  “No way,” Teddy said. “I really thought that it might have something to do with my dad and me, but then…when the attention was, like, all on you and your bro…” He trailed off. “That was a long time ago,” he said.

  “I didn’t like you very much back then,” I said. “You were so…”

  “Yeah,” Teddy said, even though I hadn’t finished my thought.

  “Those engagement parties,” I went on. “What was that all about?”

  Teddy shrugged. “You weren’t exactly the warmest person to be around, either.”

  “I was sort of icy, wasn’t I?” I said softly. My father had tried to make Teddy and me go on walks together to “get to know each other.” I’d always refused.

  “Well, we just didn’t mix, you know? Not at first,” Teddy said.

  I changed the subject. “So, the attacks weren’t on you or your father. They were on me…or…or my brother. What do you know about my family? Do you have any suspicions about who might have arranged it? Since you’re so…connected.”

  Teddy shrugged. “Ohiko found out about your old man. He told him what was on his mind. Well, Konishi wouldn’t take that for an answer. I had even heard that Ohiko was into the idea for a while, when he was younger. But then once he started samurai training, all notions of that flew out the window. He changed his mind. He didn’t want to do what your father did, no matter how much money and prestige it would bring.”

  When I heard the words samurai training, I froze. Hiro. I’d forgotten for a moment.

  “I’d met your father before our engagement,” Teddy continued, “when I was inducted. My family wasn’t on very good terms with your dad, but we had to meet with him sometimes for business reasons. Who was in control of what area of the industry, that sort of thing. We suggested a partnership in loan-sharking. Your father turned it down. It was in Vegas, actually.”

  “Really?” I said. “Why did he turn it down?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, he had some dealings in drugs, but loan-sharking…he didn’t want to get into it. At least not here, stateside.”

  Interesting.

  “I’ve heard some stuff about your mom.”

  “Mieko?” I asked, my heart beating faster. “What have you heard about her?”

  “Actually, it was in relation to her brother, Masato…. Idon’t know if they were tied to yakuza or just aided in yakuza dealings.” He paused for a minute and looked at me curiously.

  “There’s something weird about Masato?” I’d only met Masato once or twice. I hadn’t thought of him in years.

  “I don’t exactly know,” Teddy said. “It was just something I heard a while ago, but maybe I’m wrong. Do you know how your parents met, why they got married?”

  I didn’t. They’d never really seemed married, either. They were never affectionate around Ohiko and me. Of course, perhaps that was out of discretion. I didn’t know. As far as I knew, they slept in the same bedroom together. Ohiko and I used to joke around about them—how they seemed like a cardboard couple. Totally fake. But Ohiko was their birth son, so they must have…just once….

  “I don’t, either,” Teddy said. “I don�
��t even know about my own parents.”

  I thought about Teddy’s mother. She hadn’t been around much during the wedding preparations. She lived in the Yukemura house in Nice. I couldn’t even remember if she’d been there on the wedding day. She had to have been, right?

  Our dinners came, and we took the time to put our napkins on our laps and ogle the food and dig in. I had salmon—it was delicious. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had an elaborate sit-down meal like this.

  “But really, seeing that shit go down at the wedding was the shock of my life,” Teddy said after a little while. “I was so upset that I just bounced outta there…didn’t help you or nothing.”

  “No one helped me,” I said flatly. “Everyone just stood there. But whatever.” I shrugged. “What can we do about it now?”

  “Still,” Teddy said, looking at me with remorse. “I’m sorry. You don’t know how sorry I am.”

  I didn’t say anything, but I was touched.

  “And…there’s something else,” Teddy went on. “Back when we first met up in L.A., I was trying in many ways to capture you so that we could marry. I had my finger on the trigger. I arranged for the ambush in front of your friend Hiro’s house. I was trying to think of anything. I even tried to reason with you—ya know? But you were stubborn. But I’ve changed. Word up. You should know that by the fact that I helped you. I let you out of getting married. I let you free. But this time I mean it. I’m furilla. I want to be serious.”

  I took a deep breath, then took a sip of water. “Well, I have to say, when I came over here for the wedding, I thought marrying you was a fate worse than death. And I didn’t even know half of what was going on in my family or yours. But now…well…now if I could rewind it, in many ways it would have been better if we would have just gotten married then, before all of this happened to us.”

  Teddy nodded.

  We fell into silence and ate the rest of our dinner. Teddy had admitted his feelings to me. Who had ever admitted feelings to me before? When had I had a true, honest conversation with someone? Not my father. Not Hiro—especially nothing ever romantic. Ohiko, yes. Katie, yes. But it felt like it had been so long. Even last night with Katie felt hurried and stressful. I smiled at him from across the table. It felt like we were allies.