The Mammoth Book of Best New SF 13

by Gardner Dozois

  “You did what?”

  “With your ashes.”

  “Oh.”

  “So, tell me,” said Ben, “what were we like? Before you go off to Simopolis and become a different person, tell me about us. I kept my promise. That’s one thing I never forgot.”

  “What promise?”

  “Never to reset you.”

  “Wasn’t much to reset.”

  “I guess not.”

  They sat quietly for a while. His breathing grew deep and regular, and she thought he was napping. But he stirred and said, “Tell me what we did yesterday, for example.”

  “Yesterday we went to see Karl and Nancy about the awning we rented.”

  Benjamin yawned. “And who were Karl and Nancy?”

  “My great uncle and his new girlfriend.”

  “That’s right. I remember, I think. And they helped us prepare for the wedding?”

  “Yes, especially Nancy.”

  “And how did we get there, to Karl and Nancy’s? Did we walk? Take some means of public conveyance?”

  “We had a car.”

  “A car! An automobile? There were still cars in those days? How fun. What kind was it? What colour?”

  “A Nissan Empire. Emerald green.”

  “And did we drive it, or did it drive itself?”

  “It drove itself, of course.”

  Ben closed his eyes and smiled. “I can see it. Go on. What did we do there?”

  “We had dinner.”

  “What was my favourite dish in those days?”

  “Stuffed pork chops.”

  He chuckled. “It still is! Isn’t that extraordinary? Some things never change. Of course they’re vat grown now and criminally expensive.”

  Ben’s memories, once nudged, began to unfold on their own, and he asked her a thousand questions, and she answered them until she realized he had fallen asleep. But she continued to talk until, glancing down, she noticed he had vanished. She was all alone again. Nevertheless, she continued talking, for days it seemed, to herself. But it didn’t help. She felt as bad as ever, and she realized that she wanted Benjamin, not the old one, but her own Benjamin.

  Anne went to the medallion next to the door. “You,” she said, and it opened its bulging eyes to glare at her. “Call Benjamin.”

  “He’s occupied.”

  “I don’t care. Call him anyway.”

  “The other Bens say he’s undergoing a procedure and cannot be disturbed.”

  “What kind of procedure?”

  “A codon interlarding. They say to be patient; they’ll return him as soon as possible.” The medallion added, “By the way, the Bens don’t like you, and neither do I.”

  With that, the medallion began to grunt and stretch, and it pulled itself in two. Now there were two identical medallions glaring at her. The new one said, “And I don’t like you either.” Then both of them began to grunt and stretch.

  “Stop!” said Anne. “I command you to stop that this very instant.” But they just laughed as they divided into four, then eight, then sixteen medallions. “You’re not people,” she said. “Stop it or I’ll have you destroyed!”

  “You’re not people either,” they screeched at her.

  There was soft laughter behind her, and a voice-like sensation said, Come, come, do we need this hostility? Anne turned and found the eminence grise, the astounding presence, still in his grey uniform and cap, floating in her living room. Hello, Anne, he said, and she flushed with excitement.

  “Hello,” she said and, unable to restrain herself, asked, “What are you?”

  Ah, curiosity. Always a good sign in a creature. I am an eminence grise of the World Trade Council.

  “No. I mean, are you a sim, like me?”

  I am not. Though I have been fashioned from concepts first explored by simulacrum technology, I have no independent existence. I am but one extension – and a low level one at that – of the Axial Beowulf Processor at the World Trade Council headquarters in Geneva. His smile was pure sunshine. And if you think I’m something, you should see my persona prime.

  Now, Anne, are you ready for your exam?

  “The Lolly test?”

  Yes, the Lolly Shear Human Cognition Test. Please assume an attitude most conducive to processing, and we shall begin.

  Anne looked around the room and went to the sofa. She noticed for the first time that she could feel her legs and feet; she could feel the crisp fabric of her gown brushing against her skin. She reclined on the sofa and said, “I’m ready.”

  Splendid, said the eminence hovering above her. First we must read you. You are of an early binary design. We will analyze your architecture.

  The room seemed to fall away. Anne seemed to expand in all directions. There was something inside her mind tugging at her thoughts. It was mostly pleasant, like someone brushing her hair and loosening the knots. But when it ended and she once again saw the eminence grise, his face wore a look of concern. “What?” she said.

  You are an accurate mapping of a human nervous system that was dysfunctional in certain structures that moderate affect. Certain transport enzymes were missing, causing cellular membranes to become less permeable to essential elements. Dendritic synapses were compromised. The digital architecture current at the time you were created compounded this defect. Coded tells cannot be resolved, and thus they loop upon themselves. Errors cascade. We are truly sorry.

  “Can you fix me?” she said.

  The only repair possible would replace so much code that you wouldn’t be Anne any more.

  “Then what am I to do?”

  Before we explore your options, let us continue the test to determine your human status. Agreed?

  “I guess.”

  You are part of a simulacrum cast to commemorate the spousal compact between Anne Wellhut Franklin and Benjamin Malley. Please describe the exchange of vows.

  Anne did so, haltingly at first, but with increasing gusto as each memory evoked others. She recounted the ceremony, from donning her grandmother’s gown in the downstairs guest room and the procession across garden flagstones, to the shower of rice as she and her new husband fled indoors.

  The eminence seemed to hang on every word. Very well spoken, he said when she had finished. Directed memory is one hallmark of human sentience, and yours is of remarkable clarity and range. Well done! We shall now explore other criteria. Please consider this scenario. You are standing at the garden altar as you have described, but this time when the officiator asks Benjamin if he will take you for better or worse, Benjamin looks at you and replies, “For better, sure, but not for worse.”

  “I don’t understand. He didn’t say that.”

  Imagination is a cornerstone of self-awareness. We are asking you to tell us a little story not about what happened but about what might have happened in other circumstances. So once again, let us pretend that Benjamin replies, “For better, but not for worse.” How do you respond?

  Prickly pain blossomed in Anne’s head. The more she considered the eminence’s question, the worse it got. “But that’s not how it happened. He wanted to marry me.”

  The eminence grise smiled encouragingly. We know that. In this exercise we want to explore hypothetical situations. We want you to make-believe.

  Tell a story, pretend, hypothesize, make-believe, yes, yes, she got it. She understood perfectly what he wanted of her. She knew that people could make things up, that even children could make-believe. Anne was desperate to comply, but each time she pictured Benjamin at the altar, in his pink bowtie, he opened his mouth and out came, “I do.” How could it be any other way? She tried again; she tried harder, but it always came out the same, “I do, I do, I do.” And like a dull toothache tapped back to life, she throbbed in pain. She was failing the test, and there was nothing she could do about it.

  Again the eminence kindly prompted her. Tell us one thing you might have said.

  “I can’t.”

  We are sorry, said the eminence at
last. His expression reflected Anne’s own defeat. Your level of awareness, although beautiful in its own right, does not qualify you as human. Wherefore, under Article D of the Chattel Conventions we declare you the legal property of the registered owner of this simulacrum. You shall not enter Simopolis as a free and autonomous citizen. We are truly sorry. Grief-stricken, the eminence began to ascend toward the ceiling.

  “Wait,” Anne cried, clutching her head. “You must fix me before you leave.”

  We leave you as we found you, defective and unrepairable.

  “But I feel worse than ever!”

  If your continued existence proves undesirable, ask your owner to delete you.

  “But . . . ” she said to the empty room. Anne tried to sit up, but couldn’t move. This simulated body of hers, which no longer felt like anything in particular, nevertheless felt exhausted. She sprawled on the sofa, unable to lift even an arm, and stared at the ceiling. She was so heavy that the sofa itself seemed to sink into the floor, and everything grew dark around her. She would have liked to sleep, to bring an end to this horrible day, or be shelved, or even reset back to scratch.

  Instead, time simply passed. Outside the living room, Simopolis changed and changed again. Inside the living room, the medallions, feeding off her misery, multiplied till they covered the walls and floor and even spread across the ceiling above her. They taunted her, raining down insults, but she could not hear them. All she heard was the unrelenting drip of her own thoughts. I am defective. I am worthless. I am Anne.

  She didn’t notice Benjamin enter the room, nor the abrupt cessation of the medallions’ racket. Not until Benjamin leaned over her did she see him, and then she saw two of him. Side-by-side, two Benjamins, mirror images of each other. “Anne,” they said in perfect unison.

  “Go away,” she said. “Go away and send me my Benjamin.”

  “I am your Benjamin,” said the duo.

  Anne struggled to see them. They were exactly the same, but for a subtle difference: the one wore a happy, wolfish grin, as Benjamin had during the sim casting, while the other seemed frightened and concerned.

  “Are you all right?” they said.

  “No, I’m not. But what happened to you? Who’s he?” She wasn’t sure which one to speak to.

  The Benjamins both raised a hand, indicating the other, and said, “Electroneural engineering! Don’t you love it?” Anne glanced back and forth, comparing the two. While one seemed to be wearing a rigid mask, as she was, the other displayed a whole range of emotion. Not only that, its skin had tone, while the other’s was doughy. “The other Bens made it for me,” the Benjamins said. “They say I can translate myself into it with negligible loss of personality. It has interactive sensation, holistic emoting, robust corporeality, and it’s crafted down to the molecular level. It can eat, get drunk, and dream. It even has an orgasm routine. It’s like being human again, only better because you never wear out.”

  “I’m thrilled for you.”

  “For us, Anne,” said the Benjamins. “They’ll fix you up with one, too.”

  “How? There are no modern Annes. What will they put me into, a doxie?”

  “Well, that certainly was discussed, but you could pick anybody you wanted.”

  “I suppose you have a nice one already picked out.”

  “The Bens showed me a few, but it’s up to you, of course.”

  “Indeed,” said Anne, “I truly am pleased for you. Now go away.”

  “Why, Anne? What’s wrong?”

  “You really have to ask?” Anne sighed. “Look, maybe I could get used to another body. What’s a body, after all? But it’s my personality that’s broken. How will they fix that?”

  “They’ve discussed it,” said the Benjamins, who stood up and began to pace in a figure eight. “They say they can make patches from some of the other spouses.”

  “Oh, Benjamin, if you could only hear what you’re saying!”

  “But why, Annie? It’s the only way we can enter Simopolis together.”

  “Then go, by all means. Go to your precious Simopolis. I’m not going. I’m not good enough.”

  “Why do you say that?” said the Benjamins, who stopped in their tracks to look at her. One grimaced, and the other just grinned. “Was the eminence grise here? Did you take the test?”

  Anne couldn’t remember much about the visit except that she took the test. “Yes, and I failed.” Anne watched the modern Benjamin’s lovely face as he worked through this news.

  Suddenly the two Benjamins pointed a finger at each other and said, “Delete you.” The modern one vanished.

  “No!” said Anne. “Countermand! Why’d you do that? I want you to have it.”

  “What for? I’m not going anywhere without you,” Benjamin said. “Besides, I thought the whole idea was dumb from the start, but the Bens insisted I give you the option. Come, I want to show you another idea, my idea.” He tried to help Anne from the sofa, but she wouldn’t budge, so he picked her up and carried her across the room. “They installed an editor in me, and I’m learning to use it. I’ve discovered something intriguing about this creaky old simulacrum of ours.” He carried her to a spot near the window. “Know what this is? It’s where we stood for the simographer. It’s where we began. Here, can you stand up?” He set her on her feet and supported her. “Feel it?”

  “Feel what?” she said.

  “Hush. Just feel.”

  All she felt was dread.

  “Give it a chance, Annie, I beg you. Try to remember what you were feeling as we posed here.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Please try. Do you remember this?” he said and moved in close with his hungry lips. She turned away – and something clicked. She remembered doing that before.

  Benjamin said, “I think they kissed.”

  Anne was startled by the truth of what he said. It made sense. They were caught in a simulacrum cast a moment before a kiss. One moment later they – the real Anne and Benjamin – must have kissed. What she felt now, stirring within her, was the anticipation of that kiss, her body’s urge and her heart’s caution. The real Anne would have refused him once, maybe twice, and then, all achy inside, would have granted him a kiss. And so they had kissed, the real Anne and Benjamin, and a moment later gone out to the wedding reception and their difficult fate. It was the promise of that kiss that glowed in Anne, that was captured in the very strings of her code.

  “Do you feel it?” Benjamin asked.

  “I’m beginning to.”

  Anne looked at her gown. It was her grandmother’s, snowy taffeta with point d’esprit lace. She turned the ring on her finger. It was braided bands of yellow and white gold. They had spent an afternoon picking it out. Where was her clutch? She had left it in Cathyland. She looked at Benjamin’s handsome face, the pink carnation, the room, the table piled high with gifts.

  “Are you happy?” Benjamin asked.

  She didn’t have to think. She was ecstatic, but she was afraid to answer in case she spoiled it. “How did you do that?” she said. “A moment ago, I wanted to die.”

  “We can stay on this spot,” he said.

  “What? No. Can we?”

  “Why not? I, for one, would choose nowhere else.”

  Just to hear him say that was thrilling. “But what about Simopolis?”

  “We’ll bring Simopolis to us,” he said. “We’ll have people in. They can pull up chairs.”

  She laughed out loud. “What a silly, silly notion, Mr Malley!”

  “No, really. We’ll be like the bride and groom atop a wedding cake. We’ll be known far and wide. We’ll be famous.”

  “We’ll be freaks,” she laughed.

  “Say yes, my love. Say you will.”

  They stood close but not touching, thrumming with happiness, balanced on the moment of their creation, when suddenly and without warning the lights dimmed, and Anne’s thoughts flitted away like larks.

  Old Ben awoke in the dark. “Anne?” he sai
d, and groped for her. It took a moment to realize that he was alone in his media room. It had been a most trying afternoon, and he’d fallen asleep. “What time is it?”

  “Eight-oh-three p.m.,” replied the room.

  That meant he’d slept for two hours. Midnight was still four hours away. “Why’s it so cold in here?”

  “Central heating is off line,” replied the house.

  “Off line?” How was that possible? “When will it be back?”

  “That’s unknown. Utilities do not respond to my enquiry.”

  “I don’t understand. Explain.”

  “There are failures in many outside systems. No explanation is currently available.”

  At first, Ben was confused; things just didn’t fail any more. What about the dynamic redundancies and self-healing routines? But then he remembered that the homeowners’ association to which he belonged contracted out most domicile functions to management agencies, and who knew where they were located? They might be on the Moon for all he knew, and with all those trillions of sims in Simopolis sucking up capacity . . . It’s begun, he thought, the idiocy of our leaders. “At least turn on the lights,” he said, half expecting even this to fail. But the lights came on, and he went to his bedroom for a sweater. He heard a great amount of commotion through the wall in the apartment next door. It must be one hell of a party, he thought, to exceed the wall’s buffering capacity. Or maybe the wall buffers are off line too?

  The main door chimed. He went to the foyer and asked the door who was there. The door projected the outer hallway. There were three men waiting there, young, rough-looking, ill-dressed. Two of them appeared to be clones, jerries.

  “How can I help you?” he said.

  “Yes, sir,” one of the jerries said, not looking directly at the door. “We’re here to fix your houseputer.”