by Sally Morgan
A hand grabs me
Makes me stand
A hurried voice says
Thank you, Reverend Dale
I’ll take charge of the girl now
two
I’m taken
to a government place
given
to a government man
sitting
in a government chair
hard eyes staring
Hmm, you’re a thin little thing
Well now
let me see
what Reverend Dale has written
He gazes at a paper
Ah yes
the Reverend has given you
the name of Anne
He glances up
What about Annie, instead?
He waits
Not talking, Annie?
He glances again at the paper
You spoke English on the station
It won’t be long
before you are talking
to the other children
Go along with Nurse
make some new friends
this is your home now
My hands squeeze into fists
This
is
not
my
home
Outside
kids rush me
like a noisy flock of galahs
New girl, new girl!
What your name?
Where you from?
Who your family?
Nor’wester or sou’wester?
A girl with light eyes
and sun-bright hair
pushes through and yells
Go away, you mob!
Can’t ya see she’s scared?
Clang! Clang! Clang!
I jump in fright
Everyone scatters
except the sun-bright girl
She giggles
That’s the bell
callin’ us to eat!
Bet you a nor’wester, huh?
Sun cooked you up real good!
I’m a sou’wester
but we can be friends
She grabs my hand
I’m Janey!
Fingers press a message
into my palm – friend
I don’t know her
She’s not my family
How can she be my friend?
You hungry, new girl?
Janey yanks my arm
pulls me with her
We gotta run!
Eating place is quiet
Janey whispers
No talkin’, just eatin’
Bread looks horrible
smells horrible
My Granny makes good damper
Wish I had some now
Tears sting my eyes
I push the bread away
Other girls at the table
stare hungrily at my bread
Don’t want it, new girl?
asks Janey
I slide my bread to her
she gobbles it down
When eating is finished
Janey says
Thanks for the bread
Me guts are always hungry!
If I catch a fish
I’ll share with you
Honest!
I’m not lyin’!
I’m a good catcher for fish!
Janey giggles
Sometimes I say words
like fish
cake
potatoes
and pretend it makes me fat
Got a lotta tricks like that
Why can’t she be quiet?
Why can’t she leave me alone?
A grumpy lady gives me clothes
same as the other kids
It’s nearly lock-up
she says
I don’t have time
to check your hair for nits
Go with Janey
she knows how things work here
Janey takes me to the sleeping place
Beds in rows
girls everywhere
Janey shouts
Bed next to me is for the new girl!
Other girls ignore her
Janey yells
Hey, you mob hear me?
I’m claimin’ this bed!
Bigger girl yells back
Aw, shut up, Janey
No one wants the stinky bed!
Janey tugs the blanket
This your bed now, new girl
Margy used to sleep here
but she got sent out to work
I look at the bed
Did Margy like this place?
Another girl joins us
Taller
wider
older
She says
You nor’wester or sou’wester?
Janey steps closer
New girl’s not talkin’, Nancy
but I reckon she’s nor’wester
Nancy frowns
pokes out her bottom lip
looks me up and down
Yeah, nor’wester!
Nancy clenches her fist
shoves it close to my nose
I don’t back away
Will she hit me?
Any trouble, see me, new girl
She pokes Janey’s arm
Janey’s sou’wester
but she’s alright
’cept she talks too much!
Nancy returns to her bed
Janey whispers
Most kids cry
when Nancy does that
She can hit hard
You got guts!
I sit on Margy’s bed
Janey sits on her bed
leans forward
Nancy fights new kids
if they big like her
specially sou’westers
But she’s good with kids our size
Some sou’westers like fightin’ too
but not me!
Nancy’ll be going out to work soon
’cause she’s nearly fourteen
Poor old Nancy
she wants to be a film star
Girls at the end of the room
shout at each other
Janey looks at them
shrugs
You get used to the noise
If it’s a bad bust-up
big girls will thump ’em both
I slide under the blanket
Around me
girls I don’t know
who aren’t sisters
cousins
aunties
fight
yell
giggle
cry
cough
I pull the blanket higher
Janey slips off her bed
leans over me
You okay?
Her mouth is smiley
but her eyes are sad
What your name?
I dip my head under the blanket
Shut Janey out
Shut the shouting girls out
It’s okay
Janey says
It’s okay to be scared, new girl
My fingers cover my mouth
I cry quiet beneath the blanket
Someone shakes me
Wake up, wake up!
Come on, it’s mornin’
I open my eyes
wrinkle my nose
Pooh this place stinks
Toilet’s full
Janey says
Gets right up ya nose, huh?
But boys’ place stinks worse!
Glad I’m not a boy
I squeeze my hands
round my toes
So cold
it’s like there’s no blood in them
Janey pinches my shoulder
I fling out a slap
but she ducks away
giggling
Not allowed to sleep in
Freezin’ cold
but ya gotta get up!
Itchy bites dot my arm
Another girl teases
Ha, ha!
Mattress bugs got you good, new girl!
Janey warns
Scratch
and ya bleed
Worry for the cold
and ya freeze
Sleep in
and ya get trouble
Janey raises her eyebrows
You want trouble?
Course I don’t want trouble!
I throw off the blanket
Cold air hits me all over
I wrap my arms round my body
shiver my way outside
Ship was cold
Here is cold too
And nowhere to hide
Janey shoves a broom at me
Sweepin’ gets ya blood pumpin’
Runnin’ round is good as well
But not till you finish sweepin’
Who does she think she is
bossing me?
She lowers her voice
You wet your bed?
No!
I am mad at her for asking
She makes me feel shame
It’s okay, new girl
first night lotsa girls wet the bed
or if they have a bad dream
or if they hurtin’ inside
or if they sick
I wish she would shut up
Listen, we all got mornin’ jobs
I’ll make our beds
You sweep hard
warm up your insides
Okay?
I put my head down
and sweep the verandah
I think of Aunty Adie
I helped her clean the Big House
on the station
Sweep the corners good
she’d say
or Boss will complain
Sweep the corners real good
Too sick to eat breakfast
Not seasick
Heartsick
Janey elbows me
If your guts growl in school
Teacher will think you farted
Teacher hates fartin’
snortin’
and laughin’
So you better eat somethin’
Girl on the other side
of the table hisses
Shut up, Janey!
Get us in trouble
with your talkin’!
Gotta tell her stuff
Janey hisses back
She new here
How she gunna know?
Is Janey trying to help me?
Janey whispers
Teacher hates laughin’
the worst
If she thinks kids are laughin’ at her
she explodes!
I nibble horrible bread
Bits drop on the table
Janey licks her finger
presses it to my crumbs
The crumbs stick
She licks them off
I’m a good catcher for fish
and a good catcher for bread, too!
Outside again
Janey says
Hey — you ever been to school?
School’s where kids learn stuff
Maybe you’ll learn to talk!
I turn away
Aw, sorry, new girl
Don’t talk
I don’t care
School’s borin’
’cept for stories and singin’
We sing for important visitors
when they come here
Everythin’ gets cleaned up then
Get better food, too
My family sings
All my aunties sing
Mum sings the best
She taught me lots of songs
Nancy comes up
spins me around
Ay, new girl!
Meet Emmy and Dot
They nor’westers, too
Emmy and Dot
are bigger girls like Nancy
Emmy has curly hair like mine
Dot has a round face like Nancy
They nod at me shyly
Nancy says
Nor’westers stick together
Sou’westers stick together
Got it?
Janey elbows past Nancy
Hey, I’m sou’wester
and I got sou’wester and nor’wester friends!
Nancy teases
Ooh — prickly little sou’wester
Emmy pokes Janey
Dot laughs
Nancy towers over Janey
Mind ya own business, sou’wester!
Janey puts her hands on her hips
If I minded me own business
you wouldn’t have any stuff …
Shut up!
Talk soft!
You too cheeky, Janey!
Nancy growls
Blab about the stuff ya got us
we all in trouble!
Janey glances over her shoulder
Sorry, Nancy
Learn to shut ya trap, Janey!
Rain drizzles down
Janey grabs my hand
Gotta run!
Nor’westers and sou’westers
run to school together
School is a room filled
with big kids
in-between kids
little kids
Janey points to a neat lady
standing
stiff and straight at a table
Her face is tight with watching
That’s Teacher
Boss of our school
She’s not smiley
We had two teachers before
but the nice one left
None of ’em stay long
Nancy reckons
this one’s still here
’cause no one else wants her!
She can’t see nothin’
without her glasses
that’s why they tied
round her neck with ribbon
So kids can’t steal ’em!
Boys did that once
Got the strap bad!
I sit between Janey and Nancy
When everyone is quiet
Teacher says
A new girl has joined us today
Is she talking about me?
Her name is Annie
I duck down
Let my curls flop over my face
Pretend I’m not here
Say good morning to Annie
Everyone says
Good morning, Annie!
My cheeks burn hot with the stares
Janey whispers
So that’s your name
Annie
I like it!
I don’t
I – am – not – Annie!
Annie belongs
to the government man
and his lying government papers
Tap – tap – tap
Teacher’s stick hits my table
Not a digging stick
not a fighting stick
for big trouble
a skinny useless stick
I see you are a quiet girl, Annie
Nice to have a well-mannered
child in my class
Why does Teacher talk so loud?
Everyone can hear
what she says to me
I burn with more stares
In school you will learn
to write your name
and count to ten
I will also teach you
the days of the week
and months of the year
If you tell the truth
pay attention
work hard
you will do well
Do you understand, Annie?
I glimpse Nancy nodding
Reverend liked me to nod
when he talked
Is Teacher the same?
I rub my hands on my dress
and nod
Teacher gives a sharp smile
Very good, Annie!<
br />
There is one more thing
we only speak English here
English is the language of kings
She bends closer
We never speak native gibberish
Her glasses slide down her nose
Not ever!
She pushes her glasses back
Janey will tell you what happens
if you speak the native tongue
Won’t you, Janey?
Janey speaks so loud
everyone hears
You get whacked, Annie!
Laughter spills out from the other kids
Silence!
Teacher snaps
Her angry look sweeps the room
No laughter now
Teacher glares at Janey
Janey lowers her head
Bites her lip
Not because she’s scared
Because she’s trying not to smile
I don’t think Janey likes Teacher
Teacher sounds out a big word
O – B – E – D – I – E – N – C – E
Obedience
is an important word
If you do as you are told
and respect your betters
you will find a place in this world
Teacher shows me a small word
Cat is easy to say and spell, Annie
c – a – t
spells cat
Can you say cat?
Can you say c – a – t?
Tap – Tap – Tap
goes Teacher’s stick
Pay attention, Annie!
This is not walkabout time
Don’t let your mind
wander in the never-never!
Slowly and loudly
like I am deaf and stupid
Teacher repeats
Can you say c – a – t?
I twist my hands together
There’s too much english in this place
english hurts my head
english is hard on my tongue
english is missing good words
english is lonely
I wish I could talk my language
I wish I could talk to my mum
Janey, does Annie understand English?
Yes, Teacher
This mornin’
I told her to sweep
and she swept real good!
Janey shoots me a proud smile
I see
And does Annie speak?
No, Teacher
Teacher rolls her eyes
Another backward child!
Teacher keeps
me and Janey after school
She takes her glasses off
wipes them with a cloth
Glares at my hair
Annie’s hair is like a bird’s nest
Does she have nits, Janey?
No, Teacher
Hair was checked last night
when she got clothes
No nits
Janey is a big liar
The grumpy lady didn’t check my hair
She said there wasn’t time
Hmph
says Teacher
Annie looks too wild to be in school
Help her comb her hair
flatten it down
This is not the bush!
I don’t want flat hair like Teacher!
And Janey
make sure Annie
does her after-school jobs properly
If she doesn’t get them right
