by Sally Morgan
she must do them again
The sooner she gets used to the routine here
the better
Yes, Teacher
Outside
Janey says
You like school?
Teacher hates my language
Teacher hates my hair
I can’t read
I can’t write
I shake my head
Janey sighs
Me neither
I like writin’ stories and singin’ songs
Sums make me brain hurt
Everythin’ else makes me tired
Come on, we got jobs!
Doing jobs stops me
thinking of home
for a little bit
Stops me wondering
if Aunty Adie needs help
cleaning the Big House
now I am gone
If Grandpa Mick is planting seeds
in the station vegetable garden
If little sister is crying for me
If I’ll ever see Mum again
Stops me missing everyone
but only for a little bit
When jobs are done
Janey says
If ya think about bad things
ya feel badder
How does she know I feel bad?
Janey’s stomach grumbles
I’m hungry
Bet you are too
You didn’t eat much
breakfast or lunch
It’s too soon for dinner
Swallow your spit
and pretend it’s juice
from an apple
Sometimes that helps
Now
you wanna help me
find me little brother?
He gets in trouble, Annie
Mum would want me to help
Little kids find trouble easy
Little kids get lost easy
I nod
Janey smiles
You got tough feet?
She drops to the ground
Grabs my bare foot
I nearly fall over
Yeah, your feet are tough
No stone bruises for you
Come on!
The bush nearby smells damp
fresh
alive
Birds swoop
call out
make nests
sing
Other kids yell
Hey Janey, over here!
Janey dodges them
Gotta find Tim
Make sure he’s okay
We walk deeper into the bush
lots of trees
lots of bushes
lots of hiding places
It’s good to be outside
Good to be away from school
Good to stretch my legs
Janey babbles
Guess what Tim did once, Annie?
Picked up a baby snake!
Thought it was a stick
Guess what else?
Climbed a tree
Fell down
broke his leg!
I said
Why were you so high?
He said
I was bein’ a mudlark!
Tim’s game for anythin’
that’s why I have to find him
Big sisters look after little brothers, huh?
Tim isn’t lost
and he hasn’t found trouble
He is crouched behind a bush
watching birds
He looks like Janey
Same sun-bright hair
same fair skin
Does Tim talk a lot too?
You can tell we brother and sister
Only Tim’s got more freckles
Janey presses fingers to her cheeks
See, I got the same spots!
Tim whispers
Ssh Janey
I’m watchin’ a mudlark!
My little sister likes
to watch the animals
In the early morning
I take little sister to the creek
We lie on a flat rock
Watch kangaroos drink early
Big sisters look after little sisters
Janey pats my arm
Aw — you sad, Annie?
I didn’t want to cry
but I am
You cryin’ for your mummy and daddy?
Your brothers and sisters?
Your aunties and uncles?
Your cousins?
Your grannies?
Tim hisses
Be quiet you girls!
Janey says
You got a little brother, Annie?
I shake my head
You got a baby sister?
I nod
You missin’ her bad, huh?
I cried when I came here
They sent my cousins someplace else
Thought I was alone
till I saw Tim
Knew he was my lost brother
just knew it!
Tim was a sick baby
Mum took him to the hospital
went back to get him
He was gone!
Where is he?
Mum kept cryin’
Where’s my boy?
She was still cryin’ for Tim
when they grabbed me
Reckon she’s cryin’
for both of us now
Tim scowls at Janey
Shifts further away
Tim was a fat baby
bein’ sick shrunk him
He looks like a little fella
but he’s only two years younger
Janey pokes out her tongue at Tim
Hey, you lucky to have me
watchin’ out for you!
Tim pulls a face
New kids come every month, Annie
Your little sister might come
or your cousins
Then you won’t be lonely
I don’t want little sister to come here
I want Mum to come
and take me home
The mudlark
Tim was watching
flaps its wings
and takes to the air
Tim leaps up
Look what ya done, Janey
with all your talkin’
Sorry, Tim
but Annie’s cryin’ for her family
Can’t ya see?
Tim is mad at Janey
but he looks sorry for me
Maybe school made her cry
That why you cryin’, Annie?
I shake my head
The good teacher left
She talked nice
smelled nice
and she didn’t shame kids
but now we stuck with Knife-face
she always
tap, tap, tapping and
whack, whack, whacking
with her ruler
’cept when Janey stole it …
That’s a secret, Tim!
Anyway, that’s not why Annie’s cryin’
Tim shrugs
Janey buried Teacher’s ruler
She won’t find it!
Janey sighs
Don’t matter
she got a new one already!
Badder one
says Tim
If she hits real hard
the edge cuts
Janey grabs my arm
Listen, Annie
Tim and me have a trick
Sometimes we laugh
when we’re sad
Haa – haa – haa!
laugh Janey and Tim
I don’t smile
but my tears stop
Tim grabs a small stone
from the ground
looks at it closely
Yep, it’s a good one
He pushes the stone
into my hand
It’s a laughing stone, Annie
If ya feel sad
squeeze the stone<
br />
and laugh
Only don’t laugh in school!
I was havin’ a sad day
Pulled out me stone
laughed
Teacher said
Are you laughing at me, Timothy?
Are you a rude, stupid boy?
Whacked me hard!
Me and Tim
got a crying tree, too
Janey grabs my arm
Come on
I’ll show you
Don’t come back
Tim tells us
You scare the birds
Look, Annie
magpies!
They swoop
if their nests got babies
Janey halts
Hey – there’s a kookaburra!
I love their laugh
Haa – haa – haa – haa!
she sings out loudly
Haa – haa – haa!
Kookaburras make me happy!
Janey picks up a stick
makes marks in the sand
A snake track
She hands me the stick
Your turn, Annie
I make marks in the sand
Janey looks at them
Bet that’s a goanna!
I nod
Come on
I’ll show you more things
See those birds?
Honeyeaters
They hang upside down
to get sweetness from the blossoms
Maybe we’ll see a bobtail goanna
They got blue tongues
Their babies are born alive
You know that?
Watch out for redback spiders
swingin’ from their webs!
Red spot on their back
means stay away!
Give you a bad bite
make you real sick
Could kill a baby
Careful where you walkin’
Plenty of snakes here
Dugites grow long as a man
if you stretch ’em out
Tiger snakes in the marsh
got stripes
Tigers are short and fat
I reckon they meaner than dugites
Once
I dropped
down from a tree
landed on a snake
Lucky it was dead!
Dugites and tigers can kill you
This time of the year
they full of poison!
Does Janey ever stop talking?
Janey stoops down
picks up bendy twigs
Wanna surprise, Annie?
She finds a sunlit patch
Sits down
I run my fingers through the sand
dirt is dark
bush is thick
air is cold
No melting heat here
no days so hot
you can taste the dust
This place is not like home
I could get lost here
Janey’s fingers work fast
She twists the twigs
into a little person with arms
and legs and everything
Janey holds it up
See, Annie
a stick doll
I’ve seen a real doll
Visitors came to the station
with a girl who carried a doll
She carried it
like I used to carry little sister
when she was a new baby
Doll had clothes and shoes
and staring eyes
Janey’s bush doll has no eyes
but she feels smiley
My fingers stroke
the doll’s twiggy face
Put her in your pocket, Annie
Pretend she’s your little sister
Ridin’ like a joey
in her mummy’s pouch
You wanna see the cryin’ tree now?
Crying tree is a big old tree
with branches stretching high
and a snug hollow
in the trunk
Janey says
Kids here got special places
to cry
This is me and Tim’s special place
but you can share it with us
At home I share
with my cousin brothers
and cousin sisters
and they share with me
Mum would like Janey sharing
This is the tree Tim fell out of
I thought he was dead
till he screamed
Some kids think this tree is unlucky
but I reckon it’s a lucky tree
Tim coulda cracked his neck
or smashed his head
All he got was bruises
and a broke leg
I stare up at the tree
I know what she’s saying
When little sister could walk
she wandered away
Mum found her
sitting in the creek on a rock
Little sister could have drowned
All she got was scratches
and a fright
Janey bites her fingernail
You think it’s unlucky?
I slide into the hollow
This tree is good and strong
Janey grins
slips in next to me
Me friend Margy liked this tree, too
Margy’s a sou’wester like me
Reckon you’d like her
Janey taps her head
She’s real smart with schoolwork
Poor Margy
turned fourteen
so they sent her out to work
Now she’s stuck on a farm
scrubbin’ dishes
cookin’ food
washin’ clothes
cleanin’ floors
No more readin’ and writin’ for her
We sit inside the tree
looking out at the bush
watching birds
insects
lizards
I can’t believe Janey is quiet
Nancy lends Janey her comb
to fix my hair
Reckon those knots’ll take all night
Give it back in the mornin’
she says
Janey runs her fingers down Nancy’s comb
Nearly everyone here owes me favours
’cause I know how to get stuff
If Janey pinched Teacher’s stick
like Tim said
she does know how to get stuff!
Okay, Annie, sit on ya bed
Promise I won’t stop
till all the knots are gone
When it gets dark
I’ll feel ’em with me fingers
Janey teases my hair out in little bits
Nancy is right
This will take a long time!
Janey tries not to tug hard
Margy used to do me hair
If she was here
she’d help us
You know the jobs we do?
Margy says
it’s Domestic Training
The jobs are practice
for when we go into Service
Lotsa people
don’t wanna do their own jobs
so they use us
That’s Service
When I turn fourteen
I don’t wanna go into Service
I wanna go home
I want to go home too
I want to go home right now!
Sleeping place is cold
but it gets colder
and colder
while Janey does my hair
I’m shivering bad
I huddle under the blanket
I don’t feel the cold like you
Janey says
Got to be ice before I shiver
Harder for nor’westers
you used to more sun
When you been here a long time
your
blood’ll get thick
then cold won’t be so bad
Some of the other girls yell
Shut up, Janey!
We tryin’ to sleep
We sick of your talkin’
Shut ya trap!
Janey grumbles
Can talk if I wanna
Janey whispers
Listen, Annie
I got to tell ya bad news
You hopin’ your mum will come
and get you, huh?
I sit still as stone
But she can’t come, Annie
How does Janey know?
She doesn’t know my mum
Your mum wants to come
Mums always miss kids
But she dunno where you are
and she dunno your new name
Will your mum ask for Annie?
My throat goes tight
Mum doesn’t know anyone
called Annie
Policeman won’t tell her where you are
Policeman won’t tell her your new name
Janey is right
Policeman who took me from the station
won’t tell Mum anything
Government people
got lotsa secrets, Annie
But I got me own secrets!
I know stuff from before
Know where me country is
Know some of me language
I don’t talk it here
Got too many
whacks round the earhole!
Janey bends over
gives me a secret smile
I know me real name
Mum didn’t call me Janey!
My eyes widen in surprise
Janey is a new name?
If Janey is the same as me
other girls must be the same too
I didn’t know
We lucky, Annie
We not like the babies
here in cots
We not like Tim
I had to tell Tim stuff
about our family
Dad’s tall like a gum tree
Mum likes cuddles
Granny Alice sings real sweet
He didn’t remember nothin’
Didn’t remember our country
I had to tell him
We ain’t whitefellas, Tim
But you and me, Annie
we old enough
to remember lotsa things!
I remember Mum’s silly songs
Little sister’s bubbly laugh
Granny Rosy cooking damper
Grandpa Mick hungry for more
Uncles getting kangaroo
to fatten skinny rations
All my aunties singing
voices rising high on campfire smoke
Running with my cousin sisters
and cousin brothers
dogs running too
hot wind in our faces
I remember
the people I love
who love me back
I’m glad when my knots are done
My head is full of Janey’s words
full of thinking
Janey cleans Nancy’s comb with her fingers
Gives it a wipe on her dress
This is a good comb
Next comb I’m stealin’ for me
Night, Annie
I give her a moonlit smile
Lie down on the bed
wrap my blanket tight
hold the laughing stone
Tim gave me
squeeze it
