The Pearl of Penang

by Clare Flynn

  She’d pack her bags and tomorrow morning make enquiries as to the next ship back to England. Arthur could arrange it all for her and Douglas would have to pay for it. She knew Arthur would help her. He was the only person she trusted. Maybe she had nothing and no one to go back to in England, but anything, any job, no matter how humble, would be preferable to the torturous situation here. She wouldn’t even need to go through the shame of a divorce. The marriage was unconsummated and could surely be annulled. But she would think about all that later. Besides, it didn’t even matter: she had no intention of ever marrying again.

  Deciding to start packing immediately, she clambered out of bed and went over to the wardrobe. Her suitcases, which had been stacked on top, had disappeared. The packing would have to wait until tomorrow. As she went back to bed, she tripped and stubbed her toe, slumping to her knees on the polished wood floor. Nothing was going her way. Powerless, robbed of all agency, even over her own belongings.

  At some point, she must have crawled back into bed and drifted off to sleep. The next thing she was aware of was someone silhouetted against the muslin drapery of the open windows. Douglas was here in her bedroom.

  How the hell did he have the nerve to come in here uninvited after what had happened? Feeling angry but vulnerable, she pulled herself up into a sitting position. He moved towards her and sat down at the foot of the bed. In the pale moonlight she could see that his hair was wet. She drew her knees up to her chest but said nothing.

  ‘I’m sorry, Evelyn. I behaved badly. You don’t need to tell me. I’ve already had Arthur Leighton reading me the riot act.’

  She remained silent.

  He spoke again. ‘Only, I didn’t want a fuss. No party. I told Veronica that. But the bloody woman’s a law unto her self. And I told you too. Didn’t I? I said I didn’t want a big do.’

  ‘So it’s my fault, is it?’

  ‘Well you could have told her you didn’t want to go to the damned club.’

  ‘She’s your friend. I barely know the woman. It wasn’t my place to interfere and anyway I thought you’d agreed. I didn’t know all those dreadful people would be there. She said it would be just the four of us.’ Indignation was mounting. How had what started out as an apology from him turned into an accusation of her? ‘I’ve never felt so humiliated and embarrassed in my entire life. I can’t stand your horrible club. I can’t stand Veronica Leighton and I can’t stand you.’

  To her horror he started to laugh. ‘That’s a relief. I thought it was just me.’

  Ignoring his amusement, she said, ‘Look, I think we both need to acknowledge this was a crazy idea. We should never have gone ahead with it. I’ll pack my things tomorrow morning and ask Arthur if he’ll help me sort out a passage back to England.’ She swallowed. ‘I’m sure you’ll be as relieved as I to see me go but I expect you to pay the travel expenses. It’s the least you can do.’ She could feel herself shaking with relief – she’d managed to stand up for herself.

  He made a little snorting noise. ‘I really have screwed up, haven’t I? Arthur told me I had. He told me I didn’t deserve you. He seems to have a bit of a crush on you himself. Singing your praises he was.’

  Evie didn’t know what to say. She needed to keep on track and get things sorted once and for all. ‘We’re both intelligent enough to acknowledge that this whole thing was a foolish gamble. It’s a pity we didn’t realise that this morning. But we can arrange for an annulment once I’m back in England.’ She swallowed again, nervous, but determined. ‘I’ll see my solicitor as soon as I reach London. I will of course expect you to pay any costs involved.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You won’t pay the costs? It’s the least you should do after what I’ve gone through.’

  ‘No. I don’t want to annul the marriage. I don’t want you to leave. I’m sorry we got off to a bad start but that’s not a reason to give up before we’ve even given it a go.’

  ‘You must have drunk more than I thought. You’re clearly still intoxicated.’

  ‘I’m sober as a judge.’ He held a hand out in front of her. ‘Look. Steady as a rock.’

  ‘I can’t imagine how that’s possible. You must be immune to alcohol.’

  ‘It probably has something to do with the fact that I’ve been for a swim in the sea to sober up.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Arthur insisted. He poured black coffee down me then drove to the beach and we went swimming. Always the best way to clear your head.’

  Evie found herself imagining him running down the beach in the moonlight, plunging naked into the sea, and tried to force the image from her mind. She mustn’t allow herself to weaken.

  ‘Will you give me another chance, Evelyn? We got off on the wrong foot but maybe we can make it work. Surely it’s worth a try?’

  Stunned by his change in behaviour, she stared at him in the half-light. His hair was still damp. She wanted to stretch a hand out and touch him but she was paralysed, uncertain, wrong-footed, dismayed. Eventually she said, ‘I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you at all. Mrs Shipley-Thomas was right. You are a rude, ill-mannered man with no courtesy or consideration.’

  ‘Who on earth is Mrs Shipley-Thomas?’

  ’Never mind. You have treated me in an appalling way and should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. I too am ashamed for letting you put me in this situation.’ She filled her lungs and expelled the air quickly. ‘This is quite literally the most horrible thing that’s happened to me since my father died. Go away and let me go to sleep.’

  Douglas was still sitting at the end of the bed. Evie waited for him to get up and leave the room, but he didn’t move. They sat in silence for more than a minute. At first she thought he’d fallen asleep sitting upright.

  Suddenly he got up and moved around to the other side of the bed. He sat down on the edge, closer to where she was.

  ‘Here’s the situation as I see it. This morning we were both prepared to go into this marriage with our eyes open. We were both prepared to take the risk. Then Veronica Leighton comes along and throws a party, knowing bloody well it is the last thing on earth I want. According to Arthur you got caught up in her little coven of bitches and heard some things you didn’t want to hear and which were almost certainly all untrue. This kind of thing is exactly why I didn’t want a wedding party. If I could kill that woman I’d happily do it. I tolerate her only because Arthur, who is the only truly decent person I know, is lumbered with her. Since neither you nor I has any time for the woman, why are we letting her ruin our marriage before it’s even started?’

  ‘Veronica Leighton is not the reason I’m leaving. You are.’

  ‘Fair enough. And I’ve apologised. But she is the reason I behaved the way I did today.’

  Evie’s patience was wearing thin. ‘For heaven’s sake. She threw a party you didn’t want to go to. That’s no reason to dump me among a bunch of strangers then send me home alone. That’s no reason for you not being able to stand the sight of me enough to have dinner on a single occasion since I’ve been in this godforsaken country.’

  He sighed. ‘You’re right. When you put it like that. I’m sorry, Evelyn. I’ve behaved badly to you.’

  She couldn’t help snapping back at him. ‘And call me Evie. No one’s called me Evelyn since my mother.’

  Recognising the accusation he’d made himself the evening they’d met, he smiled. It broke the tension and she found herself smiling too. He reached a hand out and touched her arm, taking her hand in his. ‘Give me a chance, Evie. Forgive me. I’ll try to make things right between us.’

  Evie was uncertain. Still bruised from what had happened, she wasn’t ready to trust Douglas.

  ‘I don’t know. When we talked that first night I thought we’d got things straight but it seems we hadn’t. I can’t cope with a marriage where my husband won’t even eat with me.’

  He shook his head. ‘What more can I say? I’m sorry. I’m not great company. I don’t like small talk.’ He
sighed. ‘Look. I’m going to be as straight as I can. I married for love the first time. Maybe this time round if it’s on a more practical footing we may just make a go of it. I can’t love you, Evie. But I can be civil to you. I’m not a great conversationalist but if you don’t mind long silences I’ll sit down and have dinner with you whenever I’m here in George Town. I don’t–‘

  ‘What do you mean whenever you’re in George Town?’

  ‘I’m a planter. That’s where I’ll be most of the time.’

  ‘But I’ll be there too.’

  ‘No.’

  She shook her head, mystified. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘You’ll live here. You and Jasmine. Not at the estate.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘It’s a rough and ready place. A place of work. It’s not comfortable. You wouldn’t like it.’

  ‘I should be the judge of that. I’m very adaptable. Luxurious surroundings aren’t important to me. Besides we can make it more comfortable. I can help make it a home.’

  He raised both hands, palms towards her. ‘No. That’s not up for discussion. I don’t want either you or Jasmine there. Far better that you stay here. I promise I’ll come to George Town at least once every two weeks – I have business to deal with here anyway. And Jasmine needs to be at school. I’ve decided she’s not going back to the nuns. She can stay with you and go to school here in Penang. It will do her good to spend time with you. She needs a woman to care for her.’ He paused, before adding, ‘She needs a mother.’

  ‘Jasmine won’t even speak to me.’

  ‘She will. Once she gets used to you. That will happen sooner if I’m not around.’

  ‘But–’

  ‘No buts. That’s the deal, Evie.’

  She felt numb. What should she do? It was a strange kind of marriage if they were to spend most of their time apart. And he was such a cold person. So indifferent to her feelings. Yet returning to England would be an admission of failure. There was nothing there for her to go back to. And maybe, given time, Douglas might start to feel differently about her. Once they knew each other better. He might even become fond of her if she made herself useful to him – indispensable. And in particular if she could give him the son he wanted.

  ‘But when you wrote to me you said you wanted a companion.’

  ‘I do. I need you to care for Jasmine and be here when I return. From time to time I have to entertain people to dinner – agents, buyers and inspectors. I’m also expected to turn up for various functions – local Chinese and Malayans as well as ex-pats. I loathe that kind of thing and stick out like a sore thumb as a single man. Having a wife makes it all easier.’

  Evie would probably loathe that kind of thing too – especially if it was anything like her experience at the club today. She swallowed and said, ‘All right. I’ll give it a go. But on the condition that if you behave again the way you did today I intend to leave immediately and go home to England. And that includes if you fail to keep your promise to stay in George Town in this house every couple of weeks.’ She paused. ‘And when you’re here you’ll take your meals with me.’

  After a little flicker of hesitation in his eyes, he said, ‘Agreed.’

  There was another long silence as if both of them were weighing up what should happen next. Evie, nervous, but anxious to seal their agreement, pulled back the bedsheet. ‘Since it’s still our wedding night, you’d better come in.’

  Douglas undressed quickly and complied. They lay side by side on their backs for a few moments. Evie was tense, uncertain what to do. Then he placed a hand on her stomach over the thin muslin of her nightgown. She shivered.

  For a woman of her age, Evie lacked experience in matters of the heart. While young men had occasionally caught her eye, with none had it got so far as an invitation to dance, let alone courtship and kisses. She hesitated to blame the scandal around her father for the ruination of her prospects, but it was undeniable that it had changed the course of her own life. At what should have been the time to embark on romantic adventures, she’d been interred on the outskirts of a small Hampshire village, with an old lady. On the occasions when she ventured out to exchange library books or shop for personal essentials, any potential candidates would have been busy at work. If Mrs Shipley-Thomas had ever felt guilty about her companion’s isolation she gave no indication. So, apart from the odd cheeky wink from the butcher’s delivery boy, she’d had few encounters with men, and none of her age or class.

  Her knowledge of sexual matters was not informed by experience but gleaned – probably with questionable accuracy – from other girls at her boarding school and embellished by the novels she’d read aloud to her employer. These lacked anatomical details and involved much sighing, swooning and burning lips. Right now, none of these things were happening to her, or evidently to Douglas. She’d no idea if her lips would be on fire when in contact with his, as he showed no sign of kissing her. His eyes were tightly closed and his mouth set in a hard line. When his hand moved from her stomach to her breasts she experienced an involuntary shiver of pleasure. The hand moved down beneath her nightgown, rucking it up around her waist.

  ‘Open your legs,’ he said.

  Trembling, she did as he asked. His hand moved up her thigh until he was touching her up there, where she’d never been touched by anyone, except experimentally and guiltily herself. As his fingers explored her, she started to think this might actually turn out to be enjoyable – until he lifted his body over hers, guided himself into position and without warning thrust inside her.

  It was like being torn apart. She suppressed a cry and prayed it would be over quickly. Douglas’s eyes were still closed, his forehead creased in concentration, her breath rasping as he moved inside her while she lay motionless beneath him. She tried to think of something else, to listen to the sound of cicadas, to breathe in the scent of gardenias through the open window. Just as the pain began to recede, he grunted, the thrusting stopped, and he rolled off her. She felt something warm and sticky running between her legs.

  ‘You all right?’ he asked in a tone that implied little interest in her response.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, relieved it was over.

  ‘It’ll be easier next time. The first time is hard for a woman.’

  He slid off the bed and moved across the darkened bedroom to the door. ‘Goodnight,’ he said, leaving her to weep silent tears into her pillow. After a few minutes, she got up and went into the bathroom to wash him away.

  Next morning, daylight showed her the blood-stained evidence of the loss of her virginity. Evie burned with embarrassment at the thought of Aunty Mimi changing the sheets and knowing what they’d done. She felt exposed, invaded, defiled. Facing Doug over breakfast would be an ordeal. But better to get it over with.

  In the dining room there was only Jasmine at the table.

  ‘Where’s your daddy?’

  The little girl said nothing, just stared solemnly at Evie with big round eyes.

  ‘Tuan go to lubber estate.’

  Evie jumped in fright as the voice came from behind her. She’d never get used to Aunty Mimi’s approach. One moment she wasn’t there, then she’d materialise from nowhere, a tiny spectral presence, her footsteps making no sound.

  ‘Oh,’ said Evie, unsure whether she was disappointed or relieved at her husband’s absence, then deciding she was annoyed. Why did he do this? Disappearing like that without telling her? Didn’t she deserve the common courtesy of him informing her of his whereabouts? It was intolerable. She was his wife. After what he’d done to her last night that was incontrovertible.

  Forcing a smile to her face for the little girl’s benefit, she said, ‘Why don’t we do something nice today, you and I?’

  Aunty Mimi answered for the little girl. ’Jasmine go school. Benny waiting in moto car.’

  Of course the child would have to go to school, but Evie didn’t even know where the school was – presumably somewhere here in George Town as J
asmine was no longer to board with the nuns on the mainland.

  ‘I’ll come with you in the car today, Jasmine. I’d like to see your new school and meet your teacher.’

  The child remained mute, staring at Evie as though still unsure who she was or why she was here.

  ‘Mem no need go. Benny take Jasmine.’ Aunty Mimi moved towards Jasmine and took the girl by the hand. ‘School expecting her. Tuan he allainge it.’

  ‘Thank you, but I intend to go all the same. At least today. I want to meet Jasmine’s teacher and find out where the school is.’ Her heart was thumping. Why did the woman intimidate her so much? If Evie didn’t assert herself now, at the beginning, it would be too late.

  Aunty Mimi scowled, but raised no further objection.

  6

  Evie climbed into the motor car behind Benny. Jasmine sat beside her, maintaining a wide gap so that she was closer to the door than to Evie, sitting back in the seat, her skinny legs stretched in front of her. The child remained silent, pressing herself into her corner like a frightened little mouse.

  The streets of George Town were crowded with bicycles and rickshaws and Benny seized any opportunity to blast the horn.

  Evie racked her brain, searching for something to say to Jasmine that might coax a response from her. Putting a hand lightly on the girl’s arm she said, ‘I expect you’re feeling quite nervous, aren’t you, going to a new school for the first time.’

  The little girl turned her head and fixed her eyes on Evie.

  Determined to follow through this minor breakthrough, Evie went on, ‘I remember when I was a little girl, I was so terrified the first time I went to school, I wet my knickers.’

  Jasmine’s eyes grew bigger and a little giggle escaped from her. At last, a reaction.

  ‘But once I got to school I realised there was no need to be afraid.’

  ‘Why?’

  Only one word, but Evie felt a thrill of triumph.

  ‘Because I soon discovered everyone else was scared too.’ She ventured a smile. ‘And I wasn’t the only one who wet her knickers.’