Super Star

by Cathy Hopkins

  Then there were the early mornings, the hair-dryer blasting, then applying make-up to my bleary face. Late nights trying to find somewhere to grab a cup of coffee – one time Connor tried to get a café to stay open telling them that the Stephanie Harper was outside. ‘Tell her she could be the Queen of Sheba and we’d still be closed,’ replied the café assistant. To drive her point home, she tried to mop him out of the place as if he was a piece of dirt on her floor.

  There were a few miscommunications about places and times, one signal failure that caused a delay, and one signing went on over time, but somehow we managed to make it to all of Stephanie’s events. It was always lovely to see her fans – small groups, larger groups – all eager to see Stephanie, the astrology queen.

  Witnessing her amazing calm and energy made me realise just how hard she worked and that it wasn’t all glamour and swanning in and out of places. There was no time off and each day brought a new challenge – if not the weather then a travel problem or a bookshop that wasn’t as with it as the others. Each signing and event was different, but Stephanie always seemed to have an explanation for everything that happened: it was all according to the stars – either Pluto sextile with Mars caused this or Saturn conjunct with the sun was responsible for that. It was still like listening to a foreign language for me, but the basics were beginning to sink in.

  I was really enjoying travelling around and being part of Team Harper – especially as I was getting to know Connor better. I liked the way he was with people, charming but in charge. I felt safe with him around and he often made some flirtatious comment to spice the day up a little.

  The only sour note for me was that Keira was continuing her ‘I hate Jess’ campaign. When I got home in the evening, I always checked my computer to see if Alisha or JJ were online to say hello over Skype, or to see if Charlie had sent me an email to update me on his holiday.

  Some nights when I went online, I would find a private message on my Facebook from Keira or a nasty note from her on my wall for all my friends to see. I always deleted the wall messages straight away, but by then the damage had already been done. I was at a loss as to what to do about it. I kept planning to report her but I kept hoping that she’d get bored and just go away.

  One evening there was a message on my wall saying, Princess Perfect is off in her limo again. It gave me the creeps because it sounded as if she was watching my movements from somewhere. Pia told me to take no notice, repeating that Kiera was just a nutter and any response from me would only encourage her more.

  During the day, when I was busy on the tour, I did manage to put thoughts about Kiera aside, but at night, when I was going to sleep, the things she’d written played over and over in my head and I felt frustrated at not being able to stop her. I also wondered who was reading what she wrote and if they thought that it was true – I was friends with a lot of people on Facebook and some of them didn’t know me that well. Quite a few friends had written comments supporting me under her postings, messages like, Get a life, and Leave Jess alone whoever you are. Pia had written, Keira is a sad loser, under the text about me being Princess Perfect. I hoped that Keira saw the messages of support before I deleted each conversation with her post and the comments after it. I was grateful for the support, but I couldn’t help it; Keira was getting to me again and getting under my skin, which really annoyed me. I’d make up replies, what I’d like to say to her in my defence, and often didn’t get to sleep until the early hours of the morning. Why don’t you like me? What have I ever done to you? We used to be friends once. What changed? Why me? Why? Why?

  On the Friday evening, I got home to see that Kiera had posted on my wall again and uploaded another old photo from my childhood. One where I was pulling a face to camera. I remembered the day, we’d been larking about doing our worst face possible. It was supposed to have been for a laugh, not to use as ammunition when we were older. Underneath it, she’d written: Princess Perfect isn’t so perfect.

  I felt like posting underneath, Why, Keira? but I reminded myself, not to engage. That’s what she’d want.

  That night, I made a promise to myself not to look at Facebook any more but I knew that another part of me couldn’t help it. A side of me had to know if she’d been on there and what she was saying about me.

  I called Pia for our regular catch-up.

  ‘I could always delete my page,’ I suggested.

  ‘You could,’ Pia agreed, ‘but then she’ll have won, won’t she? Why should you? Just keep deleting her posts, then ignore her and she’ll get bored and move on.’

  I wish I shared Pia’s conviction, I thought as I got into bed later and attempted to get to sleep.

  ‘Are some star signs more prone to bullying?’ I asked Stephanie the next day as we drove up to North London to pick up Connor and Raffy.

  ‘No, not really,’ she said. ‘Someone being a bully is more to do with what a person has experienced in life. Sometimes they’ve been bullied themselves.’ She looked at me closely. ‘Why do you ask?’

  I looked out of the window and tried to appear casual. ‘Oh, no reason.’

  ‘What’s going on, Jess? Is someone bullying you?’

  My casual act disintegrated and my eyes welled up with tears.

  Stephanie immediately reached over and put her hand over mine. ‘Hey, honey, what’s been going on?’

  She was looking at me with such kindness, the way Mum used to look at me when I was poorly or upset, and before I could help myself, I’d poured the whole story out to her.

  Stephanie put her arm around me and gave me a hug. ‘Have you told your dad?’

  I shook my head. ‘We’re like ships that pass in the night,’ I said. ‘And he has a lot on his plate with looking after Porchester Park.’

  ‘I’m sure he’d want to know that you’ve been hurting.’

  That made me cry again. I sniffed back my tears. ‘Sorry. Not sure what’s the matter with me. I don’t usually cry.’

  Stephanie pointed at the sky. ‘Full moon in Cancer. The moon rules water. We’re more than sixty per cent water. Most people get a bit emotional when there’s a full moon, even more so when it’s in Cancer.’ She handed me a tissue. ‘More often than not, bullies are cowards. This Keira has to be stopped. Do you know where she lives?’

  I nodded. ‘But I don’t want to see her. My friend Pia says not to engage or respond because that’s what she wants. To see that she’s got to me.’

  ‘Pia’s right. But surely she has parents? Maybe your dad could talk to them?’

  I let out a moan.

  Stephanie nodded. ‘Sorry. No, course not. That would make her even more mad.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  Our conversation was cut short when the driver slowed down and pulled over to pick up Connor.

  ‘Please don’t say anything to him, will you?’ I asked Stephanie.

  ‘Course not, but we are going to resume this later, OK?’

  I nodded, wiped my eyes and put my happy face on for Connor. I didn’t want him to know about Keira or see me in Blub City.

  Every evening, Pia came over to help me pick outfits for the next day and catch up on our days as working girls.

  ‘Once this is all over, we should plan a really good week off,’ she said. ‘Us time.’

  I nodded but I knew that Pia was as happy as I was now Henry had returned to England and they were working together at Porchester Park.

  ‘How you getting on with Stephanie?’ she asked as she sat back on my bed.

  ‘I’m getting to know her better,’ I replied as I painted my nails a deep raspberry colour.

  ‘How does she know the Lewis family?’

  ‘She was at university with Mrs Lewis. “Roomies” as Stephanie says. She told me they were a pair of hippies, with her into astrology and Mrs Lewis wanting to save the world. Apparently, Mrs Lewis was always going on protests and almost getting arrested.’

  Pia laughed. ‘Hard to imagine that, isn’t it?’


  I nodded. ‘But I really like the fact that they’re still best mates. I hope we’ll stay friends forever.’

  Pia pulled a sad face. ‘Not much chance of that, Jess. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now. I don’t like you any more, in fact, I never did.’

  I picked up a cushion and biffed her with it. ‘Me too. I don’t like you either.’

  Pia biffed me back. ‘You know we’ll be mates for ever, stupoid. Is she married?’

  ‘Stephanie? She was. Divorced. They have their son so she stays in touch with her ex.’

  ‘Do you like her?’ said Pia.

  ‘Oh yes. She makes me laugh because she has an explanation for everything. Feeling emotional? Moon in Cancer. Post not arriving? Mercury is retrograde.’

  ‘Why would that affect the post?’

  ‘Mercury is the planet that rules communication. If it goes retrograde—’

  ‘Your post goes with it.’

  I nodded. ‘Something like that. I think she likes having Connor, Raffy and me along, though – sort of a make-do family in her son’s absence. She said it’s lonely being out on the road so it’s good to have someone along to talk to and share it all with. I get the impression that she wishes her son was with her, though.’

  ‘He’ll be the one I showed you in the photo on the net. Kind of geeky but cute. Where is he? Back in the States?’

  ‘No. He’s on a gap year. His name’s Dylan. He was in Thailand, but the last thing she heard he was travelling around Europe. Stephanie really misses him and is hoping that he’ll come over to the UK while she’s here.’

  ‘Why doesn’t he?’

  I shrugged. ‘She said he’s always been a free spirit. Goes where he likes, when he likes and gets in touch when he likes. She wishes he’d contact her more. She worries about him.’

  ‘How old is he?’

  ‘Nineteen, I think.’

  ‘Maybe you’ll meet him one day.’

  I knew what she was thinking. ‘Pia, stop matchmaking me with boys you don’t even know. The last thing I’d need would be another boy who travels a lot.’

  ‘OK. I just want you to know that there is life after JJ. So, back to boys in the UK. What’s happening with Connor?’ asked Pia. ‘Any progress?’

  ‘He’s very flirty but not just with me. He’s Mr Charm with Stephanie and all her fans too. Stephanie says he has Libra rising, which makes him a natural charmer.’

  ‘What does she mean, “Libra rising”?’

  ‘Everyone has a rising sign as well as a star sign. There are twelve star signs, right?’

  Pia nodded. ‘And that’s down to when in the month you were born, yeah?’

  ‘Yes. But it’s so much more complicated than that. We are affected by all the planets apparently, ten of them,’ I said. ‘So your star sign depends on where the sun was when you were born.’

  ‘Star sign, sun sign? Now you’re confusing me.’

  ‘Your star sign is sort of the same as your sun sign; it’s just another way of saying it.’

  ‘And how come ten planets?’ asked Pia. ‘You just said there are twelve star signs or sun signs or whatever they are.’

  ‘Mercury rules two star signs, er . . . Gemini and Virgo and Venus also rules two and they are Libra and Taurus.’

  ‘Astrology swot,’ said Pia. She sighed. ‘Sounds way too complicated for me. I just like to read my horoscope in a magazine, end of.’

  ‘It’s quite a science once you get into it. I’ve been reading up on it on the tour, plus Stephanie has explained some to me. The month you’re born in determines what sun or star sign you are, but the rising sign changes every two hours and, er . . . I can’t quite remember how often the other ones change. We’re affected by the position of the other planets too.’

  ‘OK, let’s see if you know all twelve signs and their planets, I bet you don’t.’

  ‘Aries is ruled by Mars, Taurus by Venus, Gemini by Mercury, Cancer by the moon, Leo the sun. Virgo by Mercury, Libra by Venus, Scorpio by Pluto, Sagittarius by Jupiter, Capricorn by Saturn, Aquarius by Uranus and Pisces by Neptune.’

  Pia sank to her knees, put her arms in the air and bowed. ‘I’m not worthy,’ she said, then got back up. ‘Wow, you’ve really been taking it in.’

  I nodded. I was surprised by how much I’d picked up from Stephanie and how quickly I could list the signs and planets for Pia. ‘Plus everyone is affected by the time they are born and the location.’ I added, ‘So that explains why you can have two people both born under the sun sign of Pisces but they seem quite different. Depending on what time of the day and place they are born, they will have different rising signs. Do you see?’

  Pia nodded. ‘No,’ she said with a grin.

  ‘If you’re born on January twenty-third at four o’clock in the morning, you’d be Aquarius with, say, Sagittarius rising. Someone born two hours later would also be Aquarius but have Scorpio rising. Get it?’

  Pia laughed. ‘Sort of. So although I am an Aries, and have Mars as my ruling planet, I have a different rising sign to Aries?’

  ‘Yes. There are loads of websites that work it out for you for free. You just have to put in your date of birth, time of birth and place. I’ll get you a copy of Stephanie’s book and you can read about it for yourself. It’s actually really interesting and can tell you loads about people. For example, Connor is Taurus with Libra rising and his moon is in Pisces, which makes him a bit of a flirt but underneath all that, he’s a softie.’

  ‘Moon in Pisces?’

  ‘Yes. Where your moon is affects how you are emotionally. The moon changes signs every two days.’

  ‘Information overload. Forget about the science of astrology for a moment,’ said Pia. ‘What about chemistry between you and Connor? Is there any?’

  ‘I think so,’ I replied. ‘I definitely get a vibe that he likes me, though he does talk about his ex a lot.’

  ‘In a good or bad way?’

  ‘He’s not horrible about her, but he gets a look when he talks about her – kind of sad and closed-in at the same time. I think whatever happened between them hurt him. I get the feeling there is some unresolved stuff with her.’

  ‘Hmm,’ said Pia. ‘Hope he’s not on the rebound. Sometimes when boys have just broken up with someone, they seem to think they have to prove that they’re still attractive and start a relationship up really quickly just to show that they’re still in the game. Maybe you need to be careful.’

  Pia’s words struck a chord with me and not just about Connor. I wondered if part of my attraction to him was because I was on the rebound after JJ and felt I had to prove to myself that I didn’t need him by getting off with another attractive boy.

  ‘Maybe. He did say that his relationship with her was a closed chapter, though, and one he wouldn’t be revisiting.’

  Pia frowned. ‘Just be careful, Jess. You don’t want to be his counsellor.’

  ‘I’ll see what happens. I’m not going to rush into anything.’

  Pia shot me one of her ‘I don’t believe you’ looks.

  ‘Seriously,’ I said. I missed JJ a lot and it still hurt that I didn’t know if or when I would ever see him again.

  ‘Sure,’ she replied and she glanced at my nails and the clothes we’d laid out for tomorrow. ‘Which is why you don’t care what you wear each day.’

  I biffed her with a pillow again. Having a best mate who knows me so well means no secrets. I did like Connor. I liked him a lot. The more time we spent together, the more he grew on me, but he hadn’t made a move nor had I encouraged him too much. There was just a bit of flirting and banter, but no more than that. I think Raffy had more of a crush on me than Connor. It was another reason I was being quite cool with him, apart from still missing JJ; I didn’t want to get my feelings trodden on in case Connor didn’t want any more than for us to be good friends.

  ‘Have you told him about JJ?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘Why not?’ asked Pia. ‘He’s told you
about his ex.’

  I shrugged. ‘Only a bit about her. I’m not sure why I haven’t mentioned JJ. Partly because it’s never seemed like the right time and partly because JJ isn’t exactly an ex in the same way that Connor’s girlfriend is.’

  ‘JJ wants you to be happy, Jess,’ said Pia. ‘He said he didn’t want to hold you back.’

  ‘I know. Still it’s early days, isn’t it?’

  ‘Maybe the stars will work it out for you,’ said Pia. ‘Which one governs love?’

  ‘Venus.’

  ‘So when Venus is in the right place, perhaps everything will become clear.’

  ‘Maybe, but it would have to be the same in Connor’s chart,’ I said.

  ‘Or maybe you just get him behind a bookshelf one day and snog him,’ said Pia. ‘Sometimes you just have to go for it.’

  ‘You would say that,’ I said, ‘you being an Aries.’

  Pia rolled her eyes. ‘Oh hark at you, the new astrology queen.’

  Happiness is:

  A sense of new possibilities.

  Unhappiness is:

  Being the target of someone’s nastiness.

  15

  Scotland the Brave

  Stephanie and I got an early flight to Edinburgh on Sunday. Connor didn’t come with us because he couldn’t find anyone to look after Raffy.

  The flight from London was fine but the traffic from the airport to the centre of town was really bad. I’d checked the schedule before we set off and knew that we were due at a big bookshop in the centre of town at midday.

  ‘The bookshop on Princes Street?’ asked the taxi driver.

  ‘Yes, thanks,’ I replied as I checked my watch. If he got a move on, we might just make it.

  But when we arrived at the shop, it was clear that the staff weren’t expecting us.

  ‘Are you sure you’re meant to be here?’ asked one of the sales assistants – Lucy, a sweet girl with a round face and big blue eyes.

  I got out my schedule again. Maybe we’d got the wrong day or week. ‘Yes, it definitely says today,’ I said as I glanced over the page.