Catch All The Girlfriends!

by K J Harlow

  “I thought you said this place was meant to be dangerous, Wolfie,” Sophie said with her hands on her hips.

  “By the time you know it’s dangerous, it’s too late.” Labby sniffed the air. “There are girlfriends in this room.”

  “Uhuh. This room is massive. Are you sure you’re not just picking up Starry’s musk? Pretty sure didn’t shower the last time she was at Mr. Pampers.”

  “Sh-shut up Soph!” Starry squeaked, pale face turning rosy-pink. Her voice echoed through the tiled, empty store room.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” A couple of grunts gripped the railings at the platform. On their white tops was a large, blast symbol.

  “Shit. Run!” Labby sprinted towards the only other door marked with an ‘EXIT’ sign, directly beneath the railings where the grunts were standing. Four blue beams struck the tiled ground in front of Labby and she hit the brakes. Her charcoal fur spiked up and she bared her sharp teeth.

  Team Boom Grunts Fred and Charlie want to battle!

  Brawl Mode!

  Yoshi narrowed his eyes. “Brawl Mode?”

  “An illegal battle format used by non-law abiders like Team Boom,” Labby explained quickly. “Turn-based battle structures don’t apply, though individual stat bonuses and type advantages still do. Fights are more fluid, allowing many versus one and many versus many.” She flicked a quick glance back at Yoshi. “As well as attacking trainers.”

  “Aww yeah, it’s time bitches!” Soph flung her arms out, a handful of feathers bursting out either side. Starry once again assumed her southpaw battle stance, doing her best to look tough. One by one, the blue beams consolidated.

  “Let’s do this.” The girlfriend furthest to the left –also a Sophie –cricked her neck left and right, throwing her arms out.

  “Sis! You’re with them?” Soph exclaimed.

  The opposing Sophie cocked her head at Yoshi’s. “Hey sis. Fancy seeing you here.” She was two levels higher than Yoshi’s Sophie and it showed; she was more built and her feathers were slightly longer.

  “Heh heh, let’s party!” The grunts’ second girlfriend smoothed her pixie cut out and winked. Electricity leapt across her short, rodent fur.

  Yoshi swore. “Damn it, a Patricia…” Got to keep her away from Sophie… one critical Shock Lock and it’ll be lights out for her. The only plus side was that she was merely level 9.

  “Ooooooh, is it time to play?” The third girlfriend’s compound eyes and green hair looked like a Macy, but the translucent moth wings were different. They were a blur, beating in rapid time to keep her afloat.

  Name: Moxie

  Entry No.: 12

  Type: Bug/Flying

  Species: Moth

  Rarity: *

  Moxies are unique amongst the bug-type girlfriends in that they don’t undergo a chrysalis stage in their evolution. Their wings secrete glands that allow them to release varying airborne toxins that can bring even the toughest foes to their knees.

  “The giant bug’s mine,” Sophie said. “My flying-type moves will annihilate her.”

  “Not so fast, Soph. She’s level 16,” Yoshi warned.

  “So what? That’s just like three levels higher than–”

  “Hiiiii!”

  The last opposing girlfriend materialized and Yoshi’s heart skipped a beat. Her exposed skin was damp, like she’d just come out of a swimming pool.

  “Don’t worry, that’s not the Felicity we’re looking for,” Labby said.

  “I know,” Yoshi responded. “Mine’s not so… ditzy.”

  The opposing Felicity put a finger to her chin and tilted her head to the side. “What’s ‘ditzy’?”

  “Patricia, Shock Lock Sophie! Moxie, Stun Powder the trainer!” Goon 1 ordered.

  “Sophie, Fell Swoop the Starlotte! Felicity, Water Slap Starlotte!” Goon 2 ordered.

  The Moxie grounded, braced, then her wings started whirring. A stream of golden powder charged at an alarming speed towards Yoshi.

  He broke off into a sprint, commands bubbling up in his mind. “Labby, protect Starry and attack at will! Soph, Fell Swoop Patricia!”

  Labby stood in front of Starlotte. The opposing Felicity skipped forward, clapping her hands like a retarded seal, splashing water everywhere. Labby closed a clawed hand around the Felicity’s mid-clap. The pupils in her eyes filled out the white, as if temporarily possessed by a demon and she bit down on the water-type’s forearm – hard.

  In one fluid movement, she shoved Felicity back, leaped back a few yards and launched a Dash Tackle at her. Still clasping her arm, the opposing Felicity fell to the ground and conked out instantly.

  Enemy Felicity fainted!

  “Starry!” Yoshi yelled.

  With the police dog preoccupied defeating her comrade, the enemy Sophie had seized the opportunity to attack the defenceless Starry. The bird-kin was airborne, short, feathered arms folded against her body, seconds from crunching into Starry. The interstellar-type had done away with her ineffective fists and was bracing for impact. I can’t look, Yoshi squeezed his eyes shut.

  Sophie’s Fell Swoop missed!

  The opposing Sophie had crashed chin-first into the ground ungracefully a foot away to Starry’s left, sliding several yards before coming to a stop.

  Sophie is damaged by recoil!

  Yoshi barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief when he looked up. His Sophie and the Moxie were engaged in a dance of death in the air, each trying to attack the other while keeping their distance at the same time. Soph was flapping her small wings furiously, trying to stay airborne.

  “Yoshi look out!” Labby shouted.

  He spun around again just in time to see the Patricia skip into the air and triumphantly draw back a fist rippling with electricity. The dark wolf charged and leaped into the air. Patricia punched the side of Labby’s head, sending her to the deck.

  Critical Hit!

  “Labby!”

  The Patricia landed and immediately sprung at Yoshi, only to crash into the ground herself. She looked back; Labby’s claws were digging into her ankle.

  “Labby, Black Jaws!”

  Labby’s eyes filled with darkness again. She threw herself horizontally, landing on top of the electric-type, then bit into her neck, shoulder and arms over and over.

  One of the grunts shouted another order. “Sophie, Bird Run the Starlotte!”

  Yoshi turned back to his interstellar-type. She was hunched over, clutching her stomach. Something wasn’t right. Then he saw the gold, glittery powder floating around her.

  He ran faster than he could remember. The enemy Sophie’s arms were folded back, legs a blur. Yoshi shoulder rammed Starlotte, just as he collected the force of a car doing 30 miles an hour into his ribs.

  “Aaaaaaargh!”

  His head thudded into the ground. All he could hear was ringing. Starry… where was she? He craned his neck and saw his first girlfriend slumped to the side, her hair pooling around her head like blue silk. Starry… He reached a trembling hand out then all went black.

  “Yoshi…”

  “Mmmm…” He took a deep breath in and winced. It felt like a dagger of fire was wedged between his ribs.

  “Thank Frank, he’s awake.” That was Starry’s voice!

  “Starry…” he opened heavy eyelids. “Are you OK?” Her blurred face eventually came into focus.

  “I’m OK.” Her eyes glimmered with tears but she held them back.

  “Your ribs are broken or at least fractured.” Labby’s arms were crossed. Her face was swollen from the earlier punch, but she didn’t seem fazed by it. “I’ve wrapped up some bandages tightly around your chest. That should stabilize it for the time being.”

  “You’re such an idiot, you know that?” Soph’s feathers were ruffled but the way her eyes burned, Yoshi knew that she had won her battle with the bug-type. There was a hint of something else she was trying to hide, but Yoshi was too out of it to place it.

  “What happened to the grunts
?” Yoshi tried sitting up and grimaced. Starry flitted down to his side, laying a hand softly over his ribs.

  “They fucked off after we cleaned up their girlfriends,” Soph sighed. “I can’t believe my sis is on their side.”

  “It’s not her fault, you know,” Labby said. “We can’t pick our trainers. If we’re caught, we’re caught.”

  Soph snorted and shot the grounded Yoshi a knowing look.

  “How long has it been since the battle ended?”

  “10, maybe 15 minutes,” Labby replied. She looked back over the railings where the grunts first appeared.

  “I should have demolished them too when I had the chance,” Soph said. “Scumbags.”

  “They haven’t sent reinforcements?” All the girlfriends shook their heads. “But they know we’re here now.”

  Felicity’s cut-up body flashed into his mind again. He gritted his teeth, brushed aside Starry’s hands and moved into a crouching position. He slowly stood up. “I’m OK… I just can’t… breathe.”

  “No more being a hero, you hear me?” Labby warned. “You faint and we’re all in trouble.”

  He exhaled slowly and nodded. Looking around his team, he brought up each of their stats:

  Sophie gained 210 EXP!

  NAME: Sophie (Soph)

  LEVEL: 13

  NATURE: Bossy

  TYPE: Flying

  ACC.: NIL

  HP: 31/56

  - ATTACK: 16

  - DEFENSE: 12

  - SPCL ATTACK: 12

  - SPCL DEFENSE: 11

  - SPEED: 16

  MOVESET:

  Bird Run - Type: Flying - 35/35 PP (Run at foes and crash tackle them)

  Sand Screen - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Lower accuracy by kicking and flapping sand up into opponent’s face)

  Fell Swoop - Type: Flying - 12/20 PP (Launch up and dive at foe. 5% recoil damage)

  Starlotte gained 210 EXP!

  Starlotte is now Level 12!

  NAME: Starlotte (Starry)

  LEVEL: 12

  NATURE: Reserved

  TYPE: Interstellar

  ACC.: HP Potion

  HP: 32/47

  - ATTACK: 10

  - DEFENSE: 9

  - SPCL ATTACK: 11

  - SPCL DEFENSE: 13

  - SPEED: 10

  MOVESET:

  Gaze - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Lower defence by staring into opponent’s eyes, stun effect for 3 seconds.)

  Labby gained 210 EXP!

  NAME: Labby (#10)

  LEVEL: 24

  NATURE: Protective

  TYPE: Dark

  ACC.: HP Potion

  HP: 78/105

  - ATTACK: 29

  - DEFENSE: 24

  - SPCL ATTACK: 31

  - SPCL DEFENSE: 28

  - SPEED: 30

  MOVESET:

  Black Jaws - Type: Dark - 24/35 PP (Bite and rip into foes, dealing dark damage as well)

  Dash Tackle - Type: Normal - 25/30 PP (Run and tackle foes, increases SPEED by 1 unit for 1 turn)

  Shred - Type: Normal - 20/20 PP (Leap and slash foes with claws, 10% chance of critical hit)

  “That’s one of the few good things about Brawl Battles: EXP is still shared around just like with regular, non-Brawl Mode battles,” Labby explained, noticing the question in his eyes.

  Yoshi nodded absent-mindedly. He wasn’t actually wondering about that. Level 12 and still no new move? Was Starry ever going to be able to fend for herself?

  14

  Two-on-two

  “Why aren’t there any more grunts?” Yoshi whispered.

  Labby looked back at him, trying to ignore the dried nosebleed on his face. “They could be waiting for us on the roof.”

  Yoshi pressed his lips together and nodded. Felicity, please be alive.

  Fluorescent white lights hummed above as they hurried through the straight corridor. Labby held her palms out and pushed open the door with a loud click. Darkness swallowed the stairwell, occasional light shining from a door up the flight of stairs leading to the next level, as if someone was shining a really bright torch into the stairwell.

  Starry grasped onto the cold, iron handrail and looked down. Floor after floor after floor of concrete steps wound down to infinity.

  “Aaaah!... Urk!”

  Labby and Yoshi spun around simultaneously. Soph’s hand was hooked on the back of Starry’s collar, who was gripping the rail like she had just fallen down.

  “Now’s not the time to be fucking around, Soph!” Yoshi hissed.

  “But I–” she started spluttering.

  “We’re here to rescue Felicity. Stay focused,” Labby said quietly.

  Soph stared angrily into the dark wolf’s back. “Don’t remember when you were made prime girlfriend.”

  They ascended the steps just as the light reappeared. They pressed themselves into the wall as it shone through the square window in the door. The sound of a chopper grew louder and louder.

  “Far out, do they have a floodlight installed up there or something?” Soph muttered, shielding her eyes.

  Helicopter… shit! “They’re going to take Felicity away!” Yoshi made to push the door open but Labby got there first.

  “Slow down, we don’t want a repeat of–”

  A banshee scream cut Labby off. The light pulsed; it was like sunlight shining into the stairwell. Labby spun around.

  “It’s no good, I can’t see anything…”

  “Come on, they could be bundling her into the chopper now.”

  Labby hesitated. “Alright. But stay back.” She gripped the handlebar, pressed down and pushed out. Gusting propeller winds buffeted them while the blinding light swallowed them whole. The excruciating scream tore into Yoshi’s ears.

  “Felicity!” he yelled. With one hand over his eyes, he put his arm in front of him, as if to part the waves of light and sound.

  “Looks like our guests are finally here!” A croaky Latino voice yelled above the din through a megaphone. “Charlie, wind down the Apache. We’re not flying just yet.”

  A furry arm reached out and clasped onto Yoshi’s. “Stay together!” Labby ordered. With his left arm gripping hers, he grasped the air and eventually felt feathers. Soph became stiff but eventually turned her arm and grasped Yoshi’s forearm. Starry’s slender arms wrapped themselves around his stomach from behind.

  The whirring of the propellers slowed down but the screams of agony continued. “Fred, call her back. We’ll continue later.”

  The light and the screaming abruptly disappeared. Ringing in his ears and dull darkness consumed Yoshi and his girlfriends. “Don’t need this anymore.” The Latino man cleared his throat, clicking the megaphone off. “I’ll wait until you can see and hear again.”

  “We know who you are, Gonzales,” Yoshi yelled out.

  “Excellent, but I’m over here.”

  Fuck. Where was ‘here’?

  Labby’s firm arm pulled his until he was 45 degrees to his left. Yoshi blinked several times. Eventually the outline of the short old man appeared. Both hands were resting on the top of an ornate redwood cane topped with a gold bust of a girlfriend of some sort. He smiled at them pleasantly.

  “As you were.”

  “Gonzales Sanchez, you are under arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping. You have the right to–”

  He held a hand up. “Apologies senorita, I will waive that right. You are not going to arrest me because you have no proof that I did anything wrong.”

  Labby snarled. “Cut the crap. We know you have the Shiny Felicity.”

  Gonzales looked unimpressed. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

  A fat, sweaty head poked out from the helicopter cabin. “Mr. Sanchez are we going soo–”

  “You!” Yoshi roared. Labby gripped his arm and shook her head tersely.

  “Shit!” Carl squeaked.

  “Carl my boy, come out here for a moment.”

  Carl whimpered, wiping his already sopping wet sleeve across his
forehead. Flicking a glance at the grunt staring listlessly ahead in the pilot’s seat for salvation, he shuffled out.

  He stood next to Gonzales, unable to look at Yoshi or his girlfriends. “Sir, when are you going to pay–”

  “Take a step back, please,” Gonzales ordered. With his mouth still open, Carl took a step back. “And another.” Another step back. “And again.”

  “Mr. Sanchez, please, I–” the cane flew up and thwacked Carl in the cheek, sending tremors through his jiggly body.

  “Keep going.”

  Carl took step after step until he was on the edge of the building. “Mr. Sanchez, I beg you, my father, he–” There was one final jab of the cane in Carl’s chest. He teetered precariously and overbalanced. Seconds later, a dull thud, muted screams and a car alarm going off.

  With a satisfied grunt Gonzales turned around, driving his cane into the floor firmly. “As I was saying, innocent until proven guilty.” Labby stared at him in disgust, dark fur staring on end.

  “Carl kidnapped Felicity from me. She’s mine.”

  Gonzales’ eyes widened. “Really?” He hummed and pursed his lips. “He told me that he had caught her himself.”

  “He’s lying… lied.”

  “It’s no wonder she was so un-cooperative.”

  Yoshi became still. “‘Un-cooperative?’”

  “Yes, when we were injecting her with Agent N.”

  “Frank almighty…” Labby whispered.

  Yoshi looked wildly back at the dark wolf then at Gonzales. “What’s Agent N?”

  “Why don’t you ask your pet behind you about it?” the old man suggested, pointing his cane at Labby.

  “Team Sirius, Code Black.” Labby frowned, staring at her walkie-talkie. Static crackled from it.

  “That’s not going to work up here, senorita.” Gonzales glanced over at Grunt Fred. His feet were dangling out of the helicopter cabin, furiously typing away at a small laptop. “And just to be safe…” He clicked his fingers. Fred stopped his mad hammering, raised a finger then pressed down on the keyboard.

  “Shit!” The floor as a quake ripped through the building. Labby had braced low to the ground, Starry was on her butt while Sophie was flapping and squawking frantically.