Catch All The Girlfriends!
Page 14
Enemy Crystal is biding her energy!
“Soph, finish her off! Dagger Wing again!”
Sophie shook her arms out, like a swimmer preparing for the 50 meter. Seconds later, she was sprinting at breakneck speed. This time, her arms were raised above her. She brought them screaming down in a “V” inside Crystal’s shoulders.
The rock-type broke her pose, slamming her hands into the ground and falling to her knees. Sophie removed her arms, leaving gouges several inches thick. Tar-like blood oozed out before Crystal crunched face first into the ground.
Critical Hit!
It’s Super Effective!!!
Crystal fainted!
Starry gained 756 EXP!
Soph gained 756 EXP!
Yoshi expelled a sigh of relief. It was lucky that the second shot had been a critical. As much as he wanted to see Crystal’s fully charged attack, he didn’t want Soph to be the one to bear the brunt of it.
“Good one.” Yoshi put his hand up.
Soph raised an eyebrow, eventually completing the high-five with a cocky smirk. “Too easy. Give me the next one too.”
“I’ll be the one to decide that.”
She leaned in to Yoshi’s ear. “If you do, I’ll suck your dick.”
“What?” He spluttered.
She gazed at him innocently then burst out laughing. “Should’ve seen your face. I don’t want anywhere near your junk!”
“Go… Tina…”
Stone’s second and final girlfriend zipped out and locked her crosshairs on the bird type.
“She’s mine,” she said in a gravelly voice, rapping her chest shell.
Yoshi glanced up at the wall-sized screen:
NAME: Tina
LEVEL: 16
NATURE: Merciless
TYPE: Rock
ACC.: Silver Armband
HP: 79/79
- ATTACK: 23
- DEFENSE: 26
- SPCL ATTACK: 22
- SPCL DEFENSE: 25
- SPEED: 16
MOVESET:
Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL ATTACK)
Withdraw - Type: Normal - 25/25 PP (Return into shell to increase DEFENSE)
Rapid Spin - Type: Rock - 20/20 PP (Return into shell and strike foe)
“See, she wants to take me on as much as I want to take her on.” Soph stabbed a finger at her opponent. “It’s on like Donkey Kong, biatch!”
Yoshi sighed. “OK, suit yourself. Just… try to stay out of the way of her Rapid Spin, alright?”
If Soph was to win, she would have to finish off the Tina in as few turns as possible. Charge would demolish her, as would the rock-type move Rapid Spin. The Tina was three levels higher than Soph was, but their speed stats were the same. Who would strike first?
“Soph, Dagger Wing!”
“Tina… Withdraw…”
Pre-empting the move, Soph was already halfway across the stadium, her arms morphing as she was running. As slow as the Tina was, she was always going to retreat into her shell before Sophie made it to her.
Tina’s Defense rose!
“Hiiiiya!” The bird-kin’s right wing clanged into the shell, sending sparks into the air. Stone chips crumbled off, but the damage was minimal. The flying-type flung her left wing and her right again before her body returned to normal. She dashed back and Yoshi glanced up his opponent’s screen.
“Super effective but only a 20% decrease in HP?” Yoshi gritted his teeth. Should I swap her out with Felicity?
“Tina… Rapid Spin…”
Damn it… too late.
“Soph, Dagger Wing!”
It was like watching a car and train speeding towards each other at top speed. The Tina’s blur of a shell ripped across the arena. Soph brought both arms behind her like she was about to throw a tomahawk axe.
It’s Super Effective!!!
It’s Super Effective!!!
“Soph!” Speckled, brown feathers exploded upon impact and she arced through the air, thudding into the ground several feet away. The Tina had already stopped spinning. Two welts several inches thick gouged into her shell. She popped her head out, breathing heavily. She had lost another 15% in HP.
“Soph!” Yoshi repeated again. She wasn’t moving. He looked up at the large mugshot on the giant screen. In one hit, her HP was down to 12%. Stone was staring at Yoshi’s girlfriend. He glanced at Yoshi and his lips started moving.
“Soph, get back!”
“Yoshi Soysauce withdraws his Sophie! And just in the nick of time as well. Stone looked like he was about to finish her off just then. Will we see his third, unused girlfriend?”
Yes, you will. With a sharp twist and satisfying click, he unlocked his third ring. Your time to shine – literally. “Go, Flick!”
The busty, pink-haired water-type appeared, hands on hips.
“And it is none other than a Felicity! She looks very much like one caught from our very own Onyx Lake, but wait… is she a Shiny?!”
Fuck this MC. Flick glanced back at Yoshi and rolled her eyes. Begrudgingly, she gave a quick show, glowing pink, orange and green in varying intensities. The crowd oohed and aahed, applauding in appreciation.
Unsurprisingly, Stone was unmoved. “Tina… Rapid Spin…”
Perhaps sensing he needed every advantage he could get now that a water-type was out, the gym trainer attacked. The Tina pulled her head and limbs back in and was already building speed towards Flick.
Water-type attacks were super effective against rock-types, but not vice versa. Still, that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t hurt if a giant shell slammed into you. Yoshi pointed at his water-type.
“Flick, Water Barrier!”
Come on, get it up in time…
Flick clapped her hands together just before the rock turtle made contact. The water-type pinged off the Tina’s shell. She bounced once then rolled several feet.
Water Barrier failed!
“Flick!”
She immediately got back up and wiped her mouth, a look of steely determination on her face. “I’m fine.” She nodded at Yoshi in reassurance.
Yoshi nodded back. “OK. Flick, use Water Slap!”
Now this would be interesting. Side by side, Sophie’s Dagger Wing looked significantly stronger than Flick’s Water Slap. Both were super effective against rock-types, but Flick obviously had the level advantage. Flick was running at her opponent, a glint in her eye. Surely a wet spank couldn’t be more powerful than an arm-sword?
She stopped right in front of her and slowly raised her left hand. The Tina gulped.
It’s Super Effective!!!
“What the…?” Yoshi blinked.. Droplets of water shimmered in the air, trailing Flick’s attack arc. Three deep indentations in the arena floor six or seven yards deep extended to outside the ring. The Tina was spinning like a top on the back of her shell, heads, arms and legs loose and unresponsive. She slowed, twitching once before becoming still. Felicity was glowing a warm, triumphant yellow. She winked and held a peace sign up next to her cheek.
Enemy Tina fainted!
You have defeated Stone!
19
Taking On Brother Rock
A hush fell over the stadium. Once more, the spotlights converged at the opponent’s gate.
“Our challenger has seen off Stone, one of Onyx Gym’s most fearsome trainers. This means that he has earned the privilege to take on the Gym Leader.” The lights seemed to quiver in anticipation. “This man belongs to the Brotherhood of Passing and hails from Spinel Valley, where he oversees the passage of ghosts of girlfriends past as they make their final journey to Oasis. He has graced us with his presence as takes a sabbatical from his duties. Of the last 100 trainers to have faced him, only 13 have emerged victorious. Will Yoshi Soysauce be the next, or will he crumble in defeat, cast out into the losers’ wilderness to wallow in the swamp of defeat?”
Get on with it. Yoshi really couldn’t b
lame Soph for snapping at the melodramatic MC.
“It is my pleasure to welcome the Gym Leader of Onyx…” the gates creaked open, “Brother Rock.”
Clay was a rugged rock-climber who looked like he ate gravel for breakfast. Stone was… well… Stone. Brother Rock should have been the biggest, toughest, meanest, scariest of the three… but he wasn’t.
A little, bald man with elongated earlobes stepped out. He wore a smile of transcendental peace which made his eyes seem perpetually closed in blissful joy. He shuffled out in his sandals, the large spotlights following him.
“Hello…” He squinted up at the screen, his smile fading slightly. “Yoshi… Soysauce?” Yoshi nodded dumbly. “You must be the leader of the Condiment Gym.” He laughed softly at his attempt at humor. One person in the crowd guffawed like an ass choking on a carrot.
The MC sidled up to the Gym Leader, bowing reverently. “How are you today, your Sereneness?”
He turned up to look at the MC. “Well, thank you Constantine. It’s a fine day to battle.”
Constantine the MC dipped his head again and stepped away back to the middle. “Whenever Brother Rock graces the arena floor, we can be sure to witness a little bit of magic, but I’m getting ahead of myself.” Brother Rock slowly walked across the arena, straight towards Yoshi. “For anyone who isn’t aware, his Sereneness has a pre-battle ritual. As a master in palmistry, he will take a look at the hands of his opponents and see if their victory is pre-ordained.”
“What if I refuse?” Yoshi said, raising his eyebrow at the advancing monk.
Brother Rock stopped a few feet away from him. “You have every right to, but I have the right to not engage you in battle as well.” His bland smile was oddly calming. He extended his hands. “May I?”
Yoshi hesitated, looked at Constantine, then back at Brother Rock’s tranquil face. He caved and showed him his hands.
Brother Rock’s hands were silky smooth, as expected for someone who looked like they could levitate while crossing their legs. He traced the whorls in Yoshi’s palms, pausing suddenly. A frown passed over his face.
“What?” Yoshi blurted. Brother Rock held his hands for slightly longer, then let go. Yoshi stared at him incredulously as he turned on his heel and went back to his mark. What was that all about? He looked up at the large, center screen. It was showing a close-up, slow-mo replay of Brother Rock fondling his hands.
“Alright, Round 3! Yoshi, are you ready?”
Yoshi refocused. “Yes.”
“Brother Rock, are you ready?” He smiled and dipped his head.
“Three… two… one… FIGHT!”
Doesn’t matter what my palms say. Flick will bitch slap the karma out of his rock-type girlfriends. He had his hands in his robes and that damned smile on his face. Was his ring belt underneath all that fabric?
“Go, Starry!”
The interstellar-type appeared, took guard and was withdrawn again seconds later.
“Once again, our challenger opts to use his only swap out. Will the move come back to haunt him?”
Brother Rock still hadn’t released a girlfriend. Yoshi looked up at the screen behind him and his eyes widened. That couldn’t be right… but if it was… maybe I wouldn’t even have to use Flick?
“Soph, go!”
The bird-type appeared, took one look at the opposing trainer and swivelled around. “Where’s his girlfriend?”
“Go, Autumn.”
A blue beam shot out from his being, hitting the ground a few yards in front of Sophie. The Autumn lifted her head. Her eyes – like her braided hair – was piercingly red. She wore plain, loose-fitting garments of red, brown and orange and open-toed sandles.
He looked up at her stats on the big screen:
NAME: Autumn
LEVEL: 19
NATURE: Calm
TYPE: Psychic/Rock
ACC.: Bide Guards
HP: 79/79
- ATTACK: 28
- DEFENSE: 32
- SPCL ATTACK: 26
- SPCL DEFENSE: 31
- SPEED: 23
MOVESET:
The Third One - Type: Psychic - 35/35 PP (Deals double the damage of opponent’s last move, but user will always attack second.)
The GF-wiki beeped, words scrambling across the backlit screen:
Name: Autumn
Entry No.: 101
Type: Rock/Psychic
Species: Mountain Monk
Rarity: **
Autumn are rare dual-type girlfriends found in the mountainous regions of Ohno. Choosing to eschew a life of consumerism, they count meditation and physical training as preferred pastimes, as well as deep meaningful conversations discussing the intricacies of life.
Yoshi snapped the portable girlfriend scanner shut. Brother Rock’s hands were loosely clasped together, Autumn’s ring winking on his right middle finger. She is his only girlfriend… Yoshi scanned Autumn’s move description. ‘User will always attack second’, huh? So if I finish her off in one hit, she would never get a chance to use it, Brother Rock will be defeated and I’ll be champion…
“Autumn, use The Third One.”
The red-headed girlfriend’s hands disappeared into her voluminous robes. She flung the fabric away to the side, revealing a lean, toned figure. Bandages wrapped up over her torso, finishing just above where her modest breasts started to swell.
“Whoa, what the f–” Soph checked herself before she swore again.
Just below her neck, an eye the size of a palm opened up. Its pupil swivelled around, the eye squinting against the brightness of the spotlights. It locked on to Soph and stopped blinking.
Autumn is waiting for Soph to attack!
“Soph, Dagger Wing!” Yoshi had a terrible sinking feeling, but rules were rules. His flying-type ran at the motionless Autumn.
“Rrrrrargh!” The arm’s length dagger slashed across the Autumn’s torso. It didn’t cut through her flesh, nor her bandages, though she did stumble backwards. The eye on her chest shut to protect itself.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Her health trickled down by 16 HP. Should’ve expected as much for a girlfriend six levels higher.
The Autumn stood up tall. She raised her hands, touching fingertip to fingertip and thumb to thumb, enclosing her third eye in a diamond. The eye rolled around its socket behind the lid – then it opened.
Autumn used The Third One!
The air rippled, disturbed by an invisible force. It snaked through the air, settling in front of an unnerved Soph.
“Yoshi…” she said, her voice catching. “What am I looking at?”
The force took shape – Soph’s to be exact. It silently regarded flesh-and-bone Sophie, cocking her head to one side.
“Uuuurgh!” Something long and sharp impacted Sophie’s side, sending her bouncing and crashing into the ground at the edge of the arena.
“Soph!” Yoshi yelled. The moment she tried to put a little weight on her hands, she collapsed, crying out in agony. “Damn it!”
“Don’t come into the ring!” she commanded, wincing. “If you do I swear I’ll kill you!” Yoshi gritted his teeth, glancing up her status screen. That single blow had taken 60% of her HP. She sat on her haunches for a moment, eventually getting to her feet to thunderous applause.
“Autumn, The Third One.” An unreadable expression had replaced Brother Rock’s smile as his girlfriend’s third eye opened up once more.
Sophie somehow held a look of acceptance and steely determination at the same time. “Come on, let’s end this.”
“Soph… Bird Run!” Holding her arms close to her body, she dashed at her opponent.
The flying-type thudded into the rock/psychic type and fell to the ground.
It’s not very effective…
She supported herself on her elbows, staring defiantly at the Autumn. Her third eye opened and stared at her opponent. The Autumn leaped, landing back several yards and the invisible energy ripped across the arena crunchi
ng into Soph and sending her up and out of the ring
“Argh…” Sophie rolled along the ground, finishing face-down, arms at grotesque awkward angles.
Soph fainted!
“Soph, get back!” Her form flickered and zipped back towards Yoshi’s hand. He kissed the ring gently. “Good work.”
There was no victorious smile on Brother Rock’s face. He still looked like he was concentrating as hard as he could, figuring out a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.
Alright, no more fucking around. Yoshi disengaged ring number three. “Go, Flick!” He ignored the shift in the gallery as people jostled to get a glimpse of the Shiny.
“My, what a beautiful girlfriend. Frank has blessed you.” Brother Rock’s smile had returned, the corners of his eyes creasing in warmth. “Autumn, The Third One.”
Autumn is waiting for Felicity to attack!
“Flick, use Water Barrier!”
Felicity’s hands came together; and the wall of water appeared.
Felicity’s DEFENSE and SPCL. DEFENSE sharply rose!
That should protect her. The Autumn’s third eye opened, took one look at Felicity, then closed again.
The Third One failed!
Failed?
“Double of zero is zero,” Brother Rock explained from across the arena. His smile hadn’t disappeared this time, though it had changed subtly. “Autumn, The Third One.”
“Flick, Water Slap!”
Felicity closed the distance, carving a flat hand through the air. Even with her hands raised in defence, the Autumn still flew several yards through the air. She acrobatically twisted around, landing on her hands and flipping into a crouching position, red hair suddenly drenched.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Her Health was down to 15 out of 79 points, though from her composure it looked like she hadn’t been hit yet.
Autumn used The Third One!
The third eye opened wide, thin, red veins branching out from the corners. Psychic force rushed out towards Flick and paused in front of her. Flick furrowed her brow, adopting a defensive stance as the energy clone struck her.