Catch All The Girlfriends!

by K J Harlow

  Effect: x2 stun effect

  “Say, where did you girls put all your clothes?” Yoshi asked. The three girlfriends looked at each other mischievously. “Well?”

  Starry was the first to crack. “The ring comes with a wardrobe. Every time we go back, there are clean clothes waiting for us.”

  Yoshi raised an eyebrow, glancing between Soph and Flick. They had identical, wide-eyed expressions. “So the clothes you buy…”

  “…Get replicated in the ring. We can wear what we want,” Flick finished.

  Sophie failed to suppress a snorting laugh. “What’s so funny?” Yoshi said, glaring at her.

  “We could be full of shit… and you’ll never know!” She burst out laughing. “And seriously, if it wasn’t already obvious that you gave that old bitch the D, you practically said it to 37’s face just before!”

  Yoshi pressed his lips together in displeasure. “Labby isn’t that old.” I always assumed that white streak in her hair was dyed…

  “I think it’s sweet,” Flick said, biting her lip to hold back her giggles. “I never saw you as a romantic.”

  “Frank’s balls! Drop it guys!” Yoshi stormed off down the path, leaving his girlfriends behind. A few seconds later, there were light footfalls and a hand threaded its fingers into his.

  “Don’t listen to them,” Starry said. Yoshi stayed silent, looking around the path. Much like Route 17, Route 21 also had a lot of chin-high grass that you had to walk through to get to the other side.

  “Come on, let’s–”

  He took one step into the grass and felt the change. A familiar silhouette formed in the clearing as a battle ring drew itself directly in front of him.

  Wild Crystal appeared!

  “Oooh. Stone might’ve caught his here in Route 21,” Yoshi mused. The rock-type flicked her blond hair out of her eyes and sized up Starry, getting ready to attack.

  Damn it, where were the other two? “Starry, use Gaze!”

  In a flash, she was standing in front of the wild rock-type. Crystal’s eyes drooped and she shook her head vigorously.

  Wild Crystal’s Defence fell!

  “Yo, who said you could fight a battle without us?” Soph protested.

  Wild Crystal used Boulder Punch!

  Starry’s HP fell to 33/45 as she hit the ground. “Starry, get back!” Yoshi turned around, made eye contact with Soph and jerked his head toward the wild Crystal.

  “Alright, it’s Dagger Wing time!”

  “Hold up! I don’t want you to knock her out! I want to catch her!”

  “Ugh, fine!” She aborted the attack. She crouched and opened her wings out. “Fell Swoop it is!”

  She flapped up and up and up. Hanging in the air for a few seconds, she plunged. Yoshi got out a vacant ring and pointed it at the rock-type… or rather, pointed it at where she was.

  Wild Crystal ran away!

  The grass twitched, swished and she was gone.

  “Aaaargh!” Soph pulled up half a second too late and ended up landing chin and chest along the dirt.

  Soph was hurt by recoil!

  “That look like it hurt,” Flick said with a wince.

  Soph got up, dusted herself off and preened her feathers with her beak. “All good, I’ve had worse.”

  “Go and get changed, you’re a mess.” Yoshi pointed her ring at her.

  “Hey, what do you–?” Blue light crackled out of the ring and sucked her back in. She was going to murder him the next time he let her out, but it was worth it just to piss her off.

  He swapped his first and second rings. Seconds later, Starry was back out.

  “Aha! So you were actually telling the truth!”

  The interstellar-type was rubbing her ribs ruefully. Her Cat Eyes Tee had been ripped by the wild Crystal’s Boulder Punch, but the one she was wearing had no tear in sight. “Of course I was telling the truth. Why would I lie to you?”

  “What else do you have inside the ring then? Have you got a bed?”

  “Yeah, and a small bathroom.”

  “But it is pretty small. The ones at Mr. Pampers are heaps better,” Flick said.

  Yoshi squinted into the crystal on Starry’s ring. To think that inside it was another dimension that held a bed, wardrobe and small bathroom.

  “Sorry again. You’re much stronger than you were at the beginning, but until you actually learn an offensive move, I’m going to swap you out immediately, OK?” Starry looked at her feet and nodded. “And I know what you’re going to ask: what’s going to happen to Starry?” Yoshi said, looking pointedly at his shiny Felicity. “She’s staying with us as long as possible. Yes, she’s not technically my girlfriend but I care about her all the same.” Plus, I haven’t gotten into her pants yet.

  “Yes, I could tell when you kissed her by the lake all those nights ago,” Flick purred.

  “Alright, let’s keep going. Flick, back in your ring. I’ll be calling you back out soon enough.”

  Yoshi stayed in Route 21 for the next three hours. In that time, he did end up catching a level 7 Crystal, as well as a level 9 Chippie. He also grinded and levelled up Starry to level 16, Soph to level 15 and Flick to level 20.

  He looked down to his hip at his now five occupied rings, conjuring a quick glance of their basic stats:

  Name: Starlotte (Starry)

  Level: 16

  HP: 56/56

  Name: Sophie (Soph)

  Level: 15

  HP: 42/61

  Name: Felicity (Flick)

  Level: 20

  HP: 59/78

  Name: Crystal

  Level: 7

  HP: 12/30

  Name: Chippie

  Level: 9

  HP: 14/35

  He had also found 3x Potions and 2x Empty Rings. There were no other trainers waiting to challenge him in the grass either. Guess the Onyx police were good at their job.

  He stepped out of the grass, back onto the path and stretched his back. Man, it’s good to be back out in the open. He pulled out a granola bar he had bought in Onyx and started munching on it. The sun was lowish in the sky, casting a long shadow over Yoshi and the tall grass he had just spent the afternoon walking around. A large hill loomed ahead, the cave opening dark and opaque, yet eerily inviting.

  Wait? What’s that?

  Yoshi ran over to the cave opening and picked up the crumpled item. It was a long white garb. A name had been ironed on just underneath the collar: Ivan Tozuck.

  You have found Tozuck’s Lab Coat!

  It had rips and tears in it and looked like it had been trampled. Yoshi turned it out and something clattered to the dirt. He bent down and picked it up. The smartphone’s screen was cracked. Pressing the power button did nothing. He pulled his own phone out, found Tozuck’s contact, hit “Call” and waited. Straight to voice mail. Its scratched screen remained black.

  Yoshi swung his bag off his back, rolled the jacket and phone up and shoved it inside. Hitching his bag back onto his back, he peered into the cave. He switched on the flashlight on his smartphone and stepped inside.

  23

  The Celeste Caverns

  The silence was musty, stale and clung to the air. There was a pattering of feet; Yoshi swung around, the light from his smartphone barely illuminated five feet in front of him. Yoshi had never been afraid of the dark, but then he had never been inside a cave by himself. The light from the entrance was long gone, not even a pinprick in sight.

  Alright, stay cool; it’s just a cave. There are wild girlfriends in here. Probably some cool loot too. Focus on that… oh, and finding Tozuck as well.

  He shifted the weight on his back and turned back around. The cave so far had been largely unremarkable. There hadn’t even been any stalactites, stalagmites or other rock formations yet. It was just bare rock. Thankfully, it hadn’t gotten any narrower. It was strange too that he hadn’t seen any wild girlfriends yet. Maybe I’m just not deep enough.

  More feet pattering, this time ahead of him. He squin
ted, pushing his phone forward. Clicking, crooning… and was that moaning?

  Ugh! Idiot!

  He slapped his forehead and the sound bounced off the walls. He probed his ring belt and disengaged the third ring.

  “Hey Flick.”

  “You called, Master?”

  ‘Master’ huh? I could get used to that. There was a tingling in his nether regions, but he brushed the feeling aside. “As you can see, we’re in the Caverns now.”

  Flick looked around, though there wasn’t much to see. “Save your phone battery, let me light the way.”

  “Precisely why I called you out.” He hesitated. “You… don’t mind being used as a human torchlight, do you?”

  Flick focused for a moment. The moment she was out, her default brightness was at the level of about a firefly’s. Yoshi called that level one. She dialled it up slightly to about a two, then gradually got brighter and brighter.

  “Say when.”

  Yoshi looked at the farthest point he could see, which was about 30 yards away. His eyes darted further as she got brighter.

  “OK, stop there.” He looked back at her. She was sitting at about a level three now. “How quick will this drain your energy?”

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” she said dismissively. “I’ll let you know if I’m feeling shaky,” she responded, with a faint smile. Standing there, she looked like a giant water pixie – a voluptuous, pink-haired, curvaceous water pixie that had taken his virginity.

  Yoshi swept the dirty thoughts back under the bulging rug in his mind. “Alright, let’s keep–”

  Battle music chimed in his mind. “Hold up, a wild girlfriend’s here.”

  “There.” Flick pointed a glowing finger at the ground. The earth bubbled up and clods of dirt sprayed everywhere.

  Wild Bridget appeared!

  “Ah! So bright!” The wild girlfriend squealed. The girlfriend that popped out was bald, save for a few wiry hairs. She raised her large hands and shielded her face, thick nine-inch nails clicking against each other.

  Yoshi whipped out his GF-wiki:

  Name: Bridget

  Entry No.: 47

  Type: Ground

  Species: Cave Mole

  Nature: Awkward

  Rarity: **

  Naturally short-sighted, Bridgets tend to be found in caves or caverns, where they build complex underground networks. When using them in battles, it is a good idea to equip them with sunglasses.

  Oooh, a 2-star rarity! “OK Flick, you’re up. Use Flash!”

  It was the first time Yoshi had actually asked her to use this move, so it came as something of a surprise when she lifted up her tank top. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a glimpse of her kahunas because her brightness hit level 10. Even with his eyes screwed shut, he could still see light. To his surprise, it didn’t hurt nor blind him.

  “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” the Bridget screeched. The ground-type dove back underground. The dirt she pushed up allowed Flick to see where she was – only problem was she moved very fast.

  Wild Bridget used Dirt Burst!

  The ground-type surged out of the ground into the air, hurling golf ball-sized debris that homed in on the water-type, striking her all over her body.

  “Ouch!” Flick hissed, raising her hands in self-defence. Bruises quickly appeared all over her exposed skin.

  “Flick, use Water Slap!”

  With fire in her eyes, she drew her right arm back and brought it screaming across Bridget’s face. She hit her so hard that the ground-type spun like a top before slumping over in her hole.

  Critical Hit!

  It’s Super Effective!!!

  Wild Bridget fainted!

  Felicity has gained 120 EXP!

  Yoshi squatted down next to the vanquished girlfriend. “Did you have to hit her so hard?”

  Felicity pouted, filling the cave with red indignation. “I didn’t. She was just weak.” She eyed the rips across her abdomen and clucked in annoyance. “Now I’m going to have to get changed.”

  “Do you really have to flash when you flash?” Yoshi asked with a grin.

  “Welllll… I figured that no one can see when I go full brightness, so I might as well.”

  “Give me a flash. Wait not with–” Yoshi shielded his eyes. When his vision returned, his water-type’s ripped shirt was already back down, her eyes wide and innocent.

  “Oh well. I’m sure if we’re in here long enough, we’ll see another one anyway. Would have been handy to have a local on the team.”

  Felicity crossed her arms, a ‘WTF’ look on her face. “You’ve had a local on your team from day 1.”

  Yoshi stared at her blankly. “Oh right!” He pulled ring #1 out. “Starry…”

  The blue-haired girlfriend appeared, blinking her long eyelashes. “Hellooo. What’s up?”

  “We’re in the Celeste Caverns now, your home.”

  Starry looked around the caves vaguely. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Yoshi and Flick watched in silence at Starry walked around close by. She lay a pale hand on a cave wall and nudged a rock on the ground near where the Bridget had come up.

  “I don’t recognize it.”

  Yoshi frowned. “We’re not that far in; maybe you lived a bit further inside?” She shook her head, her hair swishing from side to side. He swallowed his disappointment. “That’s OK, you can stay out anyway. You won’t learn that offensive move by staying inside the ring!”

  He turned to his water-type. “Flick, do you mind hanging behind me, just so wild girlfriends will engage with Starry first?” She nodded.

  “Alright, cool. Let’s keep moving then.”

  Wild Macy fainted!

  Flick has gained 95 EXP!

  Soph gained 95 EXP!

  “Far out, that’s like the 10th bug girl.” The bird-kin said, rolling her eyes. “Are you sure we’re not in a forest, dude?”

  He smacked his forehead. “Of course, how stupid of me. We wandered out of the caverns and into a forest and I didn’t even notice.”

  Soph crossed her arms. “Just because I’m a flying-type, doesn’t mean I’m bird-brained.”

  “No seriously, can’t you see those trees?”

  She spun around. “Where? I don’t see a–”

  Blue light momentarily filled the cave as the flying-type disappeared back into her ring. Hehe.

  Along with the 10 Macies, they had seen another Bridget (which Yoshi wasted an Empty Ring on before she fled) and a handful of Crystals. Yoshi pulled out his GF-wiki and went to Starry’s listing for the first time:

  Name: Starlotte

  Entry No.: 52

  Species: Star Maiden

  Type: Interstellar

  Rarity: **

  Starlottes are believed to have originated from outer space, carried here by Earth-bound asteroids. They are rarely seen out in the open, though they have been known to appear in greater frequency in the presence of meteor showers.

  They were classified as having the same rarity as Bridgets… so why hadn’t they come across another Starlotte yet? Yoshi put the device away. It could have completely been luck – or lack thereof. Maybe if Starry saw another one of her kind, it would jog her memory?

  One thing was for sure: the Celeste Caverns were a lot bigger than they initially suspected. When they had encountered the Bridget, parts of the cave were so low they had to walk through hunched over. It had now completely opened up, as if a giant was sculpting a vase and had decided this part would be the main chamber.

  There had been several forks in the road, some with as many four or five paths. The OCD part of Yoshi initially overwhelmed him and he had to backtrack and visit every path just to make sure he didn’t miss out on any loot. After encountering several dead ends, finding no loot and fighting low levelled girlfriends who barely gave them any EXP, Felicity took charge, going with her gut, choosing random paths to go through and not turning back.

  “Any luck Starry?” Felicity increased he
r brightness to about a six, allowing Yoshi’s first girlfriend to see further in. She raised her arm, projecting her light throughout the cave they currently stood in.

  The interstellar-type peered further in, scrunching up her face in concentration. Water was dripping into a puddle somewhere, the rhythmic drip – drip – drip piercing the quiet. “It feels like… I’ve been here before.”

  “OK, that’s a start,” Yoshi murmured. Truth be told, it wasn’t helpful at all. Even if Starry had known where she was, there was no guarantee that she would know where Tozuck was. At least she had grinded her way to level 16, though she still hadn’t learned a new move yet. If Labby #10 or #37 had been with them, they might have been able to use their keen noses to catch the scent on Tozuck’s lab coat and lead them straight to him, but they were too far in to turn back now.

  “I’ve found something.” Flick ran into the distance, taking her light with her. Yoshi and Starry caught up. “What’s this?” Flick bent down and picked something up.

  “Can I have a look at it?” Yoshi asked. His girlfriend obliged and handed it over. It could have passed as a gun, though whoever designed it clearly took his influence from cartoons. The pointed tip was encircled by a coin-sized ring, with four more that followed, increasing in diameter.

  Yoshi turned it over in his hand and his eyes widened. “Flick, can you light this up?”

  The water-type moved her hand towards the butt of the handle and concentrated light at her fingertip.

  Starry squinted at it. “That looks like… a blast sign?”

  “Team Boom,” Flick and Yoshi said in unison. What the hell was a Team Boom weapon doing lying around in the middle of the Celeste Caverns? The diminutive Gonzales flanked by his powerful girlfriends flashed into his mind.

  “The Labby who saw me off said that there had been illegal mining activity here. I wouldn’t put it past Team Boom to have been the ones who were also involved in that,” Yoshi murmured.

  He turned the gun away, aimed it at a distant spot and pulled the trigger. It fizzled and sparked, emitting some smoke but not firing anything.