Catch All The Girlfriends!

by K J Harlow

  “I’m fine,” Flick said slowly. Yoshi’s hands lingered on her shoulder a bit longer before he looked up at Crystal. “Were you hurt?” He looked at Starry. “Were you hurt?” Both girlfriends shook their heads.

  “When we’re in the rings, we’re protected from the outside,” Crystal said quietly.

  “What?”

  “She said,” Starry moved her lips close to Yoshi’s ear, “we’re protected from the outside by the rings.”

  Yoshi looked at her and nodded. “Good.” He yelled. The ringing was slowly diminishing but still needed a bit more time before it completely went away. “Crystal, you can come back if you’d like.” He raised his fist and she disappeared back inside. He then spent the next few minutes explaining to them what had happened after Flick unleashed her flashing fury to the hapless colony of cave bat girlfriends.

  “How’s Soph now?” Starry asked. Yoshi pointed towards the way he came in. Recounting the harrowing experience had drained him.

  “Soph is fine. Suze is too,” echoed a familiar voice from behind them. Flick got up and increased her brightness to level three.

  “Suze!” Starry sprang up and dashed across to the flying-type, throwing her arms around her.

  “Whoa, whoa, save it for later, babeh,” she said greasily, winking at her. Starry let go of her, then hugged her Celeste Sister.

  “Sorry I went missing there for a while,” Suze said. “I couldn’t be… around… there…”

  Yoshi was relieved to see his newest girlfriend safe and sound, yet he was worried that her reappearance would amplify the ringing in his ears. To his surprise, it actually dropped way off.

  “Suze, I asked Flick to use Flash. Your mom and sisters were going to rip us apart, I…” Yoshi struggled to look her in the eye. “There wasn’t anything else I could do.”

  The others had moved to the side and now turned their attention to the newest member of the team. Suzy stared down at Yoshi, eyes glimmering.

  Wild Moxie appeared!

  Phew saved by the bell.

  Macy’s evolved form fluttered in from the other direction, grounding herself. Her compound eyes were wide, antennae twitching as she stared transfixed at the glowing Felicity.

  “I’ve got this one.” Suzy said sharply, a hard tone of finality underlining her voice.

  “Suze, she’s level 17, I don’t want you to–”

  “You don’t have a right to say what you want me to do!” She snapped, revealing fangs not dissimilar to Ziva’s. Like mother, like daughter.

  “Suze, hold on. She wants a piece of me, clearly,” Flick said. “Let me soften her up for you, then you can finish her off, how’s that sound?”

  Suzy looked like she regretted her outburst. “OK.” The other girls stood with the cave bat, behind Yoshi. Flick looked at Yoshi and nodded, a sly grin on her face.

  “Right.” He looked over his shoulder. “Everyone, turn away and close your eyes.” They hesitated but did as they were told. Suzy was the last one to do it.

  Yoshi shoved his palms into his eyes. “Flick, use Flash!”

  The Moxie didn’t know what hit her. One moment she was wide-eyed, wanting to come closer to the Shiny, the next she had turned away, hands on her face.

  Wild Moxie’s accuracy fell!

  Wild Moxie used Leech!

  Her black compound eyes had taken on a milky consistency. She rushed toward Flick, throwing out her hands out. Tendrils that resembled wet udon noodles shot out. Flick calmly took a step back, watching the leeching proboscises splat to the ground.

  Leech missed!

  Her pink hair bounced as she looked back at Yoshi, a question in her eyes.

  “Flick, use Flash again!”

  Same attack, same result. Moxie clutched her face, averting it for the second time.

  Wild Moxie’s accuracy fell!

  “Alright, that should do it,” Flick said, hands on her hips.

  “Flick, get back!” She ran back, taking her place in line behind Yoshi, next to Starry. “Suze, go!”

  The cave bat calmly walked forward, past her trainer and took guard.

  Wild Moxie used Leech!

  The giant moth’s aim was true this time. The feelers wrapped themselves around her arms and started throbbing. Suzy didn’t show any reaction to the pain.

  It’s not very effective…

  Her HP dropped 5 points to 17/36.

  “Suze, use Claw Swipe!”

  She ran forward before Yoshi had even finished the command. She slashed across the Moxie’s face a lot harder than Yoshi expected. The foe’s HP dropped about 35%.

  Critical Hit!

  “Don’t even think about it,” Soph growled.

  “What are you talking about?” Yoshi hissed.

  “Withdrawing her. Look, I don’t know what went down, but she’s pissed at you. The least you can do is let her fight this battle.”

  Wild Moxie used Leech!

  Leech missed!

  Yoshi exhaled a deep breath. “Even if it means that she faints?”

  “Girls are irrational. We will fight until we lose just to prove a point,” Flick added, chiming in.

  Suzy used Claw Swipe!

  “And what point is that?” Yoshi asked, watching the Moxie’s HP drop to 55%. “That I’m the bad guy?”

  “Well, yeah. Sure you did it to save her, but she’s confused now. It’s the least you can do for her.”

  Wild Moxie used Leech!

  Leech missed!

  “Fine… but if she’s one hit from dying, I’m sending you in, Soph.”

  “Nuh-uh. Don’t pin this on me, bro.”

  The effects of Flash wore off!

  Shit.

  Suzy used Claw Swipe!

  The Moxie’s HP was now just above 40%.

  “Flick?”

  “Nope, not happening.”

  He raked his hand through his messy hair. Some days, it just wasn’t worth the effort.

  Wild Moxie used Stun Powder!

  The giant moth, eyes dark and clear again, looked straight at her foe and started flapping. Flick raised a Water Barrier in front of the four of them. The golden granules bounced off it and ebbed to the ground. Suzy tried blowing back the status effect move, but seconds later, she froze up, plonking heavily to the side.

  Suzy is Paralyzed!

  “That’s it. Suze, get back!”

  He pointed his ring at her prone figure and she zipped back in. I’d rather insult Frank’s manhood than let my feelings get in the way of her safety. “Crystal, go!”

  The rock-type came out, tugged her jacket tighter around her and assessed the big bug.

  Wild Moxie used Leech!

  Without the effects of Flash, her aim was true this time. The proboscises shot out, wound their way around Crystal’s fingers, the end sucking onto the back of her hand with a wet-sounding squelch. They bulged to an inch in thickness, absorbing HP directly from the rock-type. Her knees buckled and she swayed but managed to stay upright… just.

  It’s Super Effective!!!

  Her HP dropped from 12 to 2/30 while the Moxie’s went up to 50%.

  Yoshi gritted his teeth. The last thing he needed was another girlfriend out of action. “Crystal, use Boulder Punch!”

  The rock-type shook her head vigorously. She skipped forward, ran full speed ahead, drew her right fist back and drove it straight into the Moxie’s gut. She flew bounced back several yards, doubled over.

  It’s Super Effective!!!

  “40%... 30%...” Yoshi’s shoulders slumped. Her HP bar had stopped at around 28%. “Neither of you are going to help me?” he said, spinning around again. Starry was staring down at her feet, Flick seemed interested in the rock wall, while Soph just glared at him.

  Wild Moxie used Stun Powder!

  Whatever. Once she’s fainted, they will have to fight her anyway.

  The powder rushed out from the moth’s wings towards the rock-type. “Crystal! Get out of the way!”

  Whether she was to
o tired or couldn’t get away in time, the pale, golden powder settled onto the rock-type. She shivered, her shoulders hunched over.

  Stun Powder failed!

  “What? Yes!” Yoshi said with a fist pump. Crystal shook off the powder, dusting it off her sleeves and dashing it out of her hair. “Crystal, use Boulder Punch! Finish her off!”

  Crystal clenched her fists, and dashed at her foe. She leaped forward again, this time driving her knee up, leaving behind a trail of golden dust in her wake. Clenching her fists together above her head, she launched downwards, crushing into the back of the Moxie’s head.

  It’s Super Effective!!!

  She slammed into the ground, tried to push herself up, then lay still.

  Wild Moxie fainted!

  Felicity gained 180 EXP!

  Suzy gained 180 EXP!

  Crystal gained 180 EXP!

  Crystal is now Level 8!

  Crystal was staring down at her vanquished foe, breathing heavily. Yoshi walked up to her. He put a hand around her shoulder. “Good work.” She didn’t move or take her eyes away from the Moxie. Yoshi slid her ring onto her index finger on her left hand and withdrew her, catching the ring in mid-air. He shuffled back to the rest of his girlfriends, replacing the ring in his belt while taking out Suzy’s.

  “What’re you–?”

  His hand flew up, cutting off the end of Soph’s question. “Suze, come out.” The cave bat appeared, completely stiff, arms glued to her side. “Alright, let me just…” He pushed downwards on her highly strung shoulders but she wouldn’t budge. “Could one of you give me a hand?” Starry stepped forward. “Press the back of her knees for me. I want to get her into a sitting position. When I push, you push.”

  Suzy’s eyes swivelled in their sockets, watching the two of them try and make her more comfortable. Eventually, her body co-operated.

  “There we go.” Yoshi and Starry stood side by side, admiring their work. Suzy was now cross-legged on the ground, her hands folded over her legs.

  “You’re going to need a bit of time for the effect of Stun Powder to wear off, so I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”

  He cleared his throat, staring into the dark/flying type’s smouldering eyes.

  “I have no regrets about what I did. Withdrawing you while you were talking to your mom, getting Flick to Flash her… none of it. The moment you became my girlfriend, you became my responsibility.

  “I couldn’t care less what your mom thinks. You say you don’t want to be like the other Suzies, yet you can’t help but feel pulled in two ways. I get it. My mom’s a Perri, a species of predatory bird; scary as fuck. I know what it’s like.”

  He crouched down and looked her in the eye. “If you want to leave this cave and be your own person, I can help you with that. If you want to go back to your colony, just say the word and once we’re out of here, I’ll let you go.

  “I’m a long way from being a girlfriend master, but if there’s anything these guys,” Yoshi pointed a thumb behind him, “have taught me, it’s that we always have each other’s back. You won’t always agree with what I do, but my heart is in the right place.”

  Suzy took a deep breath, her muscles relaxing.

  Stun Powder’s effects wore off!

  “Good, you’re back to–”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” Suzy shook her head. “I thought I was strong enough, but my mom, she… it’s not you, it’s me.” She squeaked and covered her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said that. Oh Frank, I’m a cliché.”

  Yoshi stood back, crossing his arms. “What are you saying, Suze?”

  She looked at her hands, clenched on her lap. “I… need some space.”

  29

  The Star Empress

  “It’s this way,” Suze said. She skipped over a ledge, her wings flapping in the air. Flick paused, eyeing the gap with trepidation. “Come on, you got this!” The bat girl called from the other side.

  She turned around to Yoshi. “Could you withdraw me and jump over instead?”

  “If I withdraw you, I won’t be able to see. Just wait here.” Yoshi took a small run up, jumped over the gap and landed on the other side. Suzy was waiting off to the side, looking around the caverns. Yoshi withdrew Flick, then promptly sent her out again.

  “Thanks.”

  Yoshi turned to the cave bat. “Remind me again, how do you know where we’re going?”

  “We fell down a long way before; I’m just trying to find a way up,” she explained, putting her hands on her hips.

  “So in other words, you don’t know where you’re going.”

  She ignored him and kept walking. “Follow me.”

  “You’re taking this really well,” Flick said under her breath.

  “Taking what really well?”

  “You know…” She eyed Suzy, making sure she was out of earshot. “The break up.”

  “Oh I wouldn’t call it a break up,” Yoshi laughed. “She just ‘needs some space’. I don’t see what the big deal is. You saw what her mom was like. It’s not easy being the ‘different’ one; you of all people should know that.” Flick sighed in agreement.

  “I’m happy to let her go if that’s what she truly wants. The last thing I want is a girlfriend who doesn’t want to be with me.”

  Flick’s light changed from cream white to pale yellow. Out of nowhere, she lifted her top up, exposing her voluptuous breasts to him. She swayed her body left and right and they followed.

  “In case it wasn’t obvious, I want to be with you,” she said, dropping her top. “I thought you handled the break up with dignity. All of us did, actually.” Yoshi was still staring at his water-type’s hooters. “Yoshi?”

  “Yes? Right.” He reluctantly looked back up at Flick’s face. “I mean a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta–”

  “Aaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

  “Suze!” Yoshi bolted away towards the cry of distress, Flick hot on his trail. He spun, dodged and slipped around stalagmites and broken boulders. “Suze, I’m coming!”

  He turned the corner and came to a large, round chamber. It sloped downwards to the center, a shallow moat around a small, raised island. In the middle of it was a stone slab. A pale-faced man lay on top of it. His head lolled towards Yoshi and Flick, not registering their presence, before lolling the other way. Oh, and he was nude and fully erect.

  “Yoshi!”

  Yoshi snapped his head to the side just in time to see Suze flying breast-first into his face. She crashed into him and Flick, taking them all to the ground.

  Wild Novaria appeared!

  The girlfriend who had thrown Suzy glided over, hands folded in front of her ankle-length dress. It looked like she had dressed to go to a classy ball and got lost on the way there. Her dark blue hair rippled in the air, taking on a life of its own. Freckles made of miniature stars dusted her pale face.

  Mi yua hevi dostarbid. Frum whiri hevi yua cumi?

  Yoshi pulled out his GF-wiki, pointing it at the displeased girlfriend.

  Name: Novaria

  Entry No.: 54

  Species: Star Empress

  Type: Interstellar/Psychic

  Nature: Reserved

  Rarity: **

  It is said that Novaria were the rulers of the upper echelon before they escaped their home planet, using their immense telekinetic powers to pull orbiting asteroids closer and transporting their people onto it before propelling them back into outer space, in search of a brave new world.

  Wild Novaria used G-Force!

  …

  G-Force 3!

  The GF-wiki hovered in the air momentarily before it crumpled in on itself. The screen splintered and burst and sparks flew as it folded in half over and over again until it was just a small cube of metal and wires.

  “My GF-wiki!” Yoshi screamed.

  “Get out of here, you fool!” The nude dude on the stone pallet groaned. She directed an open palm at him, lifted him a few feet into the air before
slamming him back down.

  Yoshi shuffled back. “Come on, let’s…”

  Yua cennut iscepi.

  This time, her mouth didn’t move. Her foreign tongue echoed in Yoshi’s mind. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t escape. This was it. At least he’d lost his virginity and gotten one gym badge.

  Novaria raised a hand, a purple ball of light growing until it was the size of an orange. She furrowed her brow and the ball of light shrunk back to nothingness.

  O sinsi uni uf mo deaghtirs woth yua. Riliesi hir thos onstent.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “Have you got a Starlotte on you?” yelled the man on the slab. “If you do, send her out now.”

  “Frank almighty! Star Empress! You’re an evolved form of Starlotte!” Yoshi smacked his head. The Novaria stared at him unimpressed. With Suzy and Flick standing back, Yoshi disengaged his first ring.

  “Starry… come out.”

  Starlotte appeared, taking a moment to identify her opponent. She took a sharp intake of breath, hands flying to her mouth.

  “Muthir impriss!”

  She slowly raised her hands to Novaria in the same way that Suzy had done with her when they first met. Novaria’s face softened immediately, completing the gesture.

  Mo deaghtir.

  The star empress draped her arms around her daughter. Soft as a tide at 3 before sunrise, she collected her in an embrace. They stood there for a minute, conversing in low tones to each other in their native tongue.

  Yoshi risked a look back at Flick and Suzy. They too were awestruck at what they were witnessing. He turned back to the heartwarming scene and brought up the basic stats of the wild girlfriend:

  Name: Novaria

  Level: 71

  HP: 298/298

  If they weren’t rendered speechless by such a breathtaking girlfriend, they were by her immense power.

  Eventually, Starry pulled away from Novaria. “Yoshi, this is Novaria. Muthir Impriss, mo treonir, Yoshi.”