Ruin's Lot

by ID Johnson

  “What else?”

  She let out a deep sigh. “Fear that I’ll never be what you expect me to be, that I’ll disappoint all of you. That I won’t find my mother. Or the portals.”

  His hand was on her shoulder now. He brushed her hair back, over her shoulder. “What else?”

  “I’m afraid… I’m afraid that, if my own mother couldn’t even love me then maybe… maybe no one else ever can.”

  The words shocked her, and they must’ve shocked Cutter, too, because it took him a moment to respond. “Ru, you don’t have to worry about that. You don’t have to worry about any of that.” His voice was quiet but full of sincerity, and she wished she could see his face right now, because she wanted to look into his eyes and know that it was true.

  “How do I know that you’re not just manipulating my emotions the way Thanatos did, the way that you sometimes calm people? How do I know you’re not just saying that?”

  “Because, Ru, you are an amazing person, and so many people love you already. There’s no need for me to lie to you about that. Your students, your friends, our team. And I know that your mother loved you. I’m sure she still does. She didn’t give you up because she didn’t love you; she gave you up because she does loves you.”

  Ru wanted to believe his words, but it was a struggle. While it was nice to think that all of those people loved her, that wasn’t exactly what she’d meant. She had thought Kyle was falling in love with her. What if there was never another man who made her feel the same way, genuinely, with no manipulation?

  “I’m scared, Cutter,” she whispered. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I can do this. And I don’t know how I can help anyone else if I can’t help myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I belong.”

  “You belong here, Ru.”

  How he’d gotten even closer to her, she wasn’t sure, but she leaned her face over just a bit until the side of her head was resting on his forehead. His arm was around her shoulders now, and she let herself become enveloped by him for just a moment, drawing upon his strength to shore up all of the battlements that had come undone within her. His lips grazed her cheek, and Ru felt something else stir down deep inside of her. The thought that if she tilted her head up slightly and found Cutter’s lips with hers, he’d likely kiss her entered her mind, but she had never even allowed herself to consider him more than a friend, not even when they’d gone out on a date, because she’d always believed he didn’t think about her that way. Now, in the darkness, as he brought his other arm around her waist, and she traced the bare skin of his muscular arm with her fingertips, her thoughts began to change. Not giving in to temptation was a struggle, but Ru didn’t want to complicate the situation more than it already was, so she let him hold her for a few moments while she concentrated on her breathing and clearing her mind, the soothing feel of Cutter stroking her hair releasing the tension she’d been holding onto for so long.

  The blackness around her adjusted to a gray tone and then slowly illuminated into a brilliant white. Ru was startled, not knowing what had happened at first. She spun around in a circle; everything around her was bathed in soft white light, even the ground, which felt solid even though peering down gave her the impression she could see well beyond where her feet rested if there was anything beneath her to see other than more bright white.

  “You did it.”

  She turned to see Cutter standing a few feet behind her. He was still dressed in the same black T-shirt and jeans he’d had on when they’d entered the dark room. Looking down, she saw she was wearing black leggings and a purple tunic, which was also what she had been wearing before. “I… I don’t know how,” she admitted.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said with a shrug. “You’re here.”

  “Where are we?” she asked, turning to survey the area again.

  “Somewhere between streams of consciousness,” he replied. “It’s a sort of space you can enter in preparation to leap into another realm or someone’s dream state, which as you know, is also a sort of another realm.”

  She nodded. Thanatos had entered her own dreams at least three times that she was aware of, and Cutter had found his way there once as well. “What do we do now?”

  Cutter extended his hand. “Follow me.”

  She stepped forward and slipped her hand into his, the familiar tingles passing up her arm. With his free hand, he parted a space in the whiteness, and walked through. In awe, Ru followed.

  They were standing on a hillside covered in velvety green grass and hundreds of flowers. It reminded her of The Sound of Music. In the distance, two children were running through the flowers, laughing. “This…is one of their dreams. I’d say the little girl, although she’s probably not little anymore. If we stay long enough, I could begin to access her mind, and then we’d know for sure.”

  “How do you do that?” Ru asked, whispering so that she didn’t disturb the giggling children.

  “Like everything else, it takes practice, and we can’t get much more than impressions, but we’d know her name, general age, location, that sort of thing. It helps us track Reapers. We need to know where we are and where they are headed if we should spot one or if we are attempting to travel to a certain location.”

  “Sounds complicated.”

  “I know. It is. We could also step out of her dream right now and be in her bedroom if we wanted to.”

  Ru shook her head in disbelief. “How does that work, exactly? How do we get back?”

  “We get back the same way we will when we’re done exploring. I’ll save the demonstration for stepping into existence in your spirit form for another time, but you will need to be able to do it. Lots of times, Reapers approach their prey this way if they are marked, so it carries over into the unmarked from time to time as well, though they will often collect unmarked souls while they’re in a dream state because it’s easier that way, and it looks more like the person died peacefully in their sleep.”

  Ru was confused. Once again it was a lot of information to digest. “I’m gonna need you to go over that again sometime when I’m not so distracted by how beautiful everything is.”

  A crooked smile spread across his face. “It is easy to be distracted by the beauty.”

  Raising an eyebrow, Ru considered his words. Something told her he might not be just talking about the dream. They were still holding hands, and she inadvertently glanced down at them. Even if his comment had made her feel uncomfortable, which she wasn’t sure it had, she definitely wasn’t letting go of his hand. As lovely as it was here, she didn’t need to get trapped, and keeping ahold of his hand made her feel more assured about getting out.

  “Ready to go?”

  Ru nodded and Cutter led her down the hill a ways into the meadow until she saw a disturbance off in the distance where the air seemed to be sparkling. “What’s that?”

  “It’s an opening to another realm or dream state,” he explained. “You’ll develop a sense for where they are the more you do this. We have to be quick because Reapers can seek them out as well. If they leap when we’re not looking or aren’t close enough to see where they’ve disappeared to, we will lose them.”

  Cutter stepped through and Ru followed, immediately wishing she hadn’t. They were in a dilapidated old house. Lightning illuminated the sky outside, casting an eerie light around the otherwise dark room. A few feet away, a clown with razor sharp teeth loomed over a small boy, the monster’s orangey-red hair matted in a red liquid Ru assumed had to be blood. The polka dots on his jumpsuit also seemed to be smattered in blood. Before him, the boy trembled, his hands clasped in front of him, his feet cemented to the floor.

  “Uh-oh. Looks like somebody let their kid watch a Stephen King flick,” Cutter said, surveying the scene.

  “That’s terrible,” Ru whispered, even though she’d learned by now the dreamers couldn’t hear them. She knew there was another trick that would make it so that the subject of the dream could recognize their presence, because bot
h Thanatos and Cutter had done that with her, but she didn’t know what it was yet and wasn’t about to ask for fear of confusing the situation further.

  “Wait here,” Cutter said and promptly let go of her hand. Ru felt a bit of panic well-up inside of her, but she didn’t protest. By then, he was already approaching the boy, and she didn’t want to go anywhere near that clown, even if it was just a dream. She had also seen It.

  Cutter gently patted the boy on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Almost immediately, the scene shifted, and the clown was now the happy kind one might see at the circus. The blood and razor teeth were gone. He was holding dozens of balloons. The room morphed into a sunny park. Other children played in the distance. The boy’s face beamed as the clown handed him a blue balloon.

  Returning to her side, Cutter said, “Much better.”

  “How did you do that?” she asked, not able to stop herself, even though she feared the answer might lead to further confusion.

  He shrugged. “The power of suggestion. You ready to move on?”

  “Yes,” Ru replied, even though the feel of the warm sun on her face was refreshing, particularly since they didn’t get a lot of that in mid-November in Reaper’s Hollow.

  “Look around; feel with your mind. Which way should we go?”

  Hesitantly, Ru slowly turned her head. The first pass, she didn’t see anything, but then, the second time, she felt compelled to walk a certain direction. “This way?” she asked, pointing down a small slope in the direction of what appeared to be a koi pond.

  Cutter corrected her finger only slightly so that they were headed a bit to the left of the pond. “Nice.” He smiled at her, and Ru felt her heart leap with pride. “Let’s go.”

  She slipped her hand into his, for security purposes, she told herself, and then headed in the direction they’d decided upon. As they grew closer, she saw the dancing light she’d noticed in the last dream, and they stepped through.

  This dream made Ru uncomfortable in a completely different way. A glance at the subject had her blushing and turning her head. Apparently, whoever’s dream they’d just stepped into had a thing for Kate Middleton.

  “Moving right along,” Cutter said, turning a bit crimson himself. He led her quickly to the next exit, and Ru couldn’t help but laugh.

  They stepped through into a desert landscape, and Ru couldn’t even see another soul. “Where are we?” she asked.

  “Another dream. We must be on the outskirts. The dreamer’s probably over there in those dunes somewhere.”

  “So… what do you do when you step into a dream like that last one? I mean… that’s kinda weird, huh?”

  “I usually get out as quickly as I can,” Cutter said, still a little red. “I think there are other Keepers who like to linger, but that’s up to them.”

  Ru couldn’t help but laugh, secretly wondering if one of those voyeur Keepers happened to live in their home and have a predilection for fixing up old houses.

  The sun was bearing down on them now, and Ru was growing uncomfortable in her long-sleeved tunic. It was amazing how real all of this felt, as if she were really there. “What happens if you come to a location like this and you can’t find the opening?”

  “I usually make one,” Cutter shrugged, “but if you listen to your gut, you can always find the passage.”

  “How do you make one?”

  “Concentrating on getting back to your body will always open a pathway,” he replied. “In fact, you could probably do that yourself if you wanted to.”

  “Right now? You think?”

  “I’m pretty sure. Getting back to your physical body is much easier than getting out of it. Your natural inclination is to return there.”

  Ru nodded, thinking she might try it, but she was also afraid to. “What if I’m never able to get back here?” she asked, meaning the dream state, not this particular dream.

  “I think it’ll be easier for you now that you’ve done it. You know you can, and you won’t be afraid of all the things that prevented you from doing it before, especially getting back, being lost, or being alone.”

  His final sentence struck a chord. Turning toward him, she looked him in the eyes. “Listen, Cutter, I never would’ve been able to do this if it weren’t for you. Thank you for being so patient with me. For listening to me. For being a great teacher.”

  He chuckled and that crooked grin she’d begun to grow so fond of split his lips. “I guess I had a great mentor.”

  Realizing he meant her, Ru couldn’t help but laugh right along with him. “I don’t know about that.” She hadn’t worked with him long enough to influence his teaching style too much had she?

  “Like I told you that day at the coffee shop, Ru, I’m honored to have the privilege to work with you. And I don’t just say that because you’re the lost Keeper, destined for great things. I say that because you’re you. I like being with you, Ru.” He looked as if he might say something else, but he stopped there, and Ru’s face broke into a wide smile.

  “Thanks,” she said quietly. Exactly what he meant, she wasn’t sure, but it made her feel as if the sun were radiating from within her.

  Cutter only nodded in response, still smiling at her. “Now, are we ready to go back to the hacienda?”

  “I guess so,” Ru replied. “What do I do?”

  He let go of her hand, and Ru felt a bit of panic well up inside her. She’d have to do this alone. “It’s pretty easy. Just close your eyes, think about your own body, being back in the place where you belong, and when you’re ready, stick out your arm, cut the air in front of you, and step through.”

  “What if I end up in another nightmare?”

  “You won’t. If it doesn’t work, that means you haven’t created a portal, so you’d still be in this dream. There’s not an opening in front of you.” His words were reassuring, as was his tone, but she still wasn’t sure. “Try it.”

  Part of her was afraid she’d look foolish in front of him, trying and failing, taking a big step forward onto the same sandy ground. But the fact that she’d managed to get herself here made Ru hopeful. She closed her eyes and thought about sitting in the dark room, how she’d felt just before she realized she was out of her body. She concentrated on feeling grounded. Once she’d fully recalled how she’d felt before, she stuck out her arm, as Cutter had instructed, and took a step forward.

  She expected to fail the first time, perhaps the first hundred times, but when she opened her eyes, she saw absolutely nothing. Everywhere she looked was pitch black. Anxiety hit, and she began to breathe deeply, not sure where she was. Movement next to her startled her as well, until she heard Cutter’s reassuring voice. “You did it, Ru. You’re home.”

  Ru realized his arms were still around her, and she leaned in and embraced him, happy for his support. None of this was easy, but she felt very lucky to have Cutter here with her to lead her through, step-by-step. With him next to her, the future looked a little brighter, and Ru thought she might actually be able to do this after all.

  A Note from the Author

  Thank you so much for reading Ruin’s Lot! I hope that you enjoyed it. If you did, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Your reviews not only let other readers decide whether or not they will enjoy a book, they also help me qualify for promotions with different book advertisers, which can be very important to gaining visibility.

  My books are thoroughly edited, but sometimes there are mistakes that can slip through even the most careful eyes. If you saw something while you were reading that you think needs to be corrected, please feel free to email me at authoridjohnson@gmail.com

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  Ruin’s Promise: Reaper’s Hollow Book Two is now available for preorder. Click here to find it. The release date of June 1, 2018 will be here soon!


  Thanks again for reading Ruin’s Lot! To find my other books, keep reading!

  Also by ID Johnson

  Stand Alone Titles

  Deck of Cards

  Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss

  The Doll Maker’s Daughter at Christmas

  The Journey to Normal: Our Family's Life with Autism

  Beneath the Inconstant Moon

  The Clandestine Saga series

  Transformation

  Resurrection

  Repercussion

  Absolution

  Illumination

  A Vampire Hunter’s Tale (based on The Clandestine Saga)

  Aaron

  Ghosts of Southampton series

  Prelude

  Titanic

  Residuum

  Heartwarming Holidays Sweet Romance series

  Melody’s Christmas

  Christmas Cocoa

  Winter Woods

  Waiting On Love

  Shamrock Hearts

  A Blossoming Spring Romance

  Reaper’s Hollow

  Ruin’s Lot

  Ruin’s Promise

  Ruin’s Legacy