Heart's Passage

by Cate Swannell

  Intrigued, Cadie disentangled herself from the sheet and padded after him. "If this is all so you can show me a half-chewed dead mouse, I'm not going to be happy, cat," she muttered.

  Finding a black cat in a dark room wasn't the easiest task, but finally an opportune sequence of lightning showed her the way. He sat, washing his face, in front of Jo's open bedroom door.

  "Okay, so what's up?" she whispered.

  Fortunately she didn't have to wait for him to answer. She could hear low sounds of distress coming from Jo's room and tentatively she stepped through the door.

  She's crying. As her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light she could make out Jo's long shape moving restlessly under the sheet, her face framed by the fan of dark hair splayed out on the pillow. Her head turned from side to side as she moaned through whatever nightmare visions she was experiencing. Cadie could see tears streaking Jo's cheeks.

  "Nooo, no please," Jo moaned. Her hands came up in a defensive gesture and she squirmed.

  To Cadie's eyes it looked like she was trying to back away from something menacing. The blonde's heart melted all over again at the sight and she moved forward slowly and sat down on the edge of the bed. She reached out and gently took Jo's shoulder, shaking her slightly.

  "Jo." The dreaming woman thrashed away from her touch but Cadie persisted, leaning over Jo and taking both her shoulders in her hands. "Honey, please wake up," she said firmly.

  Suddenly Jo surged forward. Sitting bolt upright with eyes wide and frightened, she initially pushed Cadie away. As the dream dropped away and she came fully awake, Jo pulled her back, clinging desperately to the smaller woman. The blonde wrapped her arms around her, stroking Jo's hair as the skipper took in deep, gulping breaths.

  "It's okay, baby, it was just a dream," Cadie soothed, rocking them both back and forward slowly.

  "S-sorry," Jo muttered.

  "There's nothing to apologize for, Jo-Jo." She felt her shivering. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

  Jo shook her head. "N-no. D-don't want to go back there now. Maybe in the morning?"

  Cadie nodded. "That's okay, sweetheart. Do you want to try and go back to sleep?" Jo's only answer was to hug her even closer. "How about if I stay with you?"

  She felt Jo relax perceptibly against her, and Cadie suspected she was already drifting back towards sleep. But she was still shivering.

  "Come on, Jo-Jo. I'm not leaving you on your own like this, so let's get snuggled in." Gently she pushed Jo back into the bed and watched the half-asleep woman curl up on her side, facing the ocean. Cadie slid under the sheet and cuddled up against Jo's back, wrapping arms around her and tucking her head against Jo's shoulder blade. She felt Jo take her hands and pull her closer and she smiled, placing a kiss against the soft cotton of Jo's shirt.

  "Thank you," Jo mumbled sleepily.

  "Ssshhh. Go back to sleep, gorgeous."

  '"k."

  As Cadie drifted off, Mephisto jumped up onto the bed, circled a couple of times, and then settled into a furry ball behind her knees. She smiled softly. Guess that's the feline stamp of approval, was her last cogent thought.

  Chapter Nine

  Sometime in the night, once the second storm had passed, Mephisto found it too warm, nestled as he was against Cadie's skin. He stood and arched his back before he stretched out and flexed his claws. He then padded nonchalantly across the two sleeping women. When he reached the corner of the bed he coiled himself up and leapt high, landing on top of the tall bookcase with practiced ease. One circle to make his nest and the big black cat settled down, front paws tucked under his chest like a sphinx. He gazed down at the two humans with sleepy, half-lidded golden eyes, waiting for the day to begin.

  The first suggestion of sunrise touched the two sleeping figures in the bed and seemed to stir them, though neither woke. The cat watched as Jo stretched and rolled over, turning in Cadie's embrace until they faced each other. The blonde responded by pressing closer, murmuring incoherently as she continued to slumber. Mephisto uncurled and rolled over onto his back, matching the lazy comfort of the women.

  Jo felt herself swimming up through a deep, sound sleep towards the pale light of dawn. She protested quietly and tightened her arms around the warm body cuddled up against her left side. Content, she buried her nose in the sweet-smelling hair against her face and settled back down into a drowsy half-awake state.

  That's when it hit her.

  Eyelids flew open, revealing startled blue eyes. She stiffened slightly when she realized it was Cadie she was hugging. Jo glanced down and confirmed what her tingling skin told her.

  "Hoo boy," she muttered, her brain scrambling to remember how exactly they'd ended up in this position when she was sure they'd gone to bed in separate rooms. Flashes of her nightmare came back to her and a light went on in her head.

  I woke Cadie up with my dream, she thought. She looked down again at the blonde woman tucked under her chin, blissfully unaware. Dangerous. She's so beautiful and I want to keep holding her. Wistfully she planted a tender kiss on the top of Cadie's head before she gently tried to extract herself from the blonde's determined grip.

  "Noooo," mumbled Cadie, tightening her hold around Jo's waist and casually flinging her left leg over Jo's, effectively pinning her in place.

  The taller woman couldn't help but smile and it only took about half a second to give in to the impulse to stay just as she was. "Okay, sweetheart," she muttered. "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed Cadie's forehead once more and let herself slide back down into the drowsy warmth. I guess it can't hurt. We 're only sleeping.

  Cadie burrowed deeper into the nest of sensual safety. Part of her brain knew it was Jo's arms that held her close, but mostly she was an unthinking ball of sleepiness, content to feel the warmth of another human at her fingertips and against her face.

  Happily she snuggled closer, burying her face against the soft smoothness of Jo's neck. Unconsciously she kissed the warm skin, murmuring incoherently as her lips made their gentle way up the line of the taller woman's neck until the blonde was nibbling at the soft spot below her ear.

  Lips and tongues merged and tangled as Jo and Cadie's bodies did what their minds hesitated to permit in wakefulness. Inhibitions forgotten, their movements slowly became more and more passionate as desire overtook tenderness, even in sleep. Legs wound around each other, Cadie's left hooking over Jo's right hip as the skipper's long fingers stroked down the outside of her thigh. Sunlight crept across the bed, bathing the two languorously moving figures in light and warmth.

  Finally, consciousness, like the sunshine, snuck up on the pair and the deep kiss they shared was enough to pull them both awake. Breathlessly they gazed at each other, blinking groggily despite the waves of tingles coursing through them both.

  "Wow," breathed Jo, mesmerized by the brilliant green orbs just inches from her own. She suddenly became very aware of her hands, one possessively cupping Cadie's buttock, the other wrapped around the smaller woman's waist.

  "Very wow," the blonde agreed quietly, wondering just how her leg came to be wound around the dark woman's hips. "That's one hell of a way to wake a woman up, Skipper."

  "Mhmm..." Jo murmured, savoring the feel of the compact American's body against hers. "I don't know about you, Miss Jones," she whispered as she leaned in to claim Cadie's lips again, "but I could stand to wake up this way every morning." They kissed again, slowly, both riding a gradually rising tide of desire. Only the thump of an impatient feline landing on the foot of the bed interrupted them.

  Cadie giggled as she watched Mephisto stalk up the foothills of the lumpy mountain the two women made under the sheet.

  "Ow, ow, ow...claws. Mephisto, mind your claws," Jo protested as the big cat made his way up her long thigh. She winced as the feline bumped a few bruises, reminding Jo of the hard day her body had endured. She and Cadie parted enough to allow him a place to sit between them and he promptly curled into a contented ball with a sound that was half meow
and half purr.

  "I'm guessing that's his 'stop kissing and feed me' noise." Cadie grinned at the cat's owner who was gazing affectionately at the black feline.

  Jo laughed quietly. "Something like that." She turned back to look at Cadie with frank eyes. "And it's probably a good thing he interrupted us if we want to stick to that decision we made last night," she said, somewhat wistfully, fighting the urge to nudge the cat out of the way and throw caution to the wind.

  Cadie sighed, desire for the tall skipper warring with the complications of her life that were bouncing insistently off the inside of her skull. "Probably," she agreed sadly. "But I don't have to pretend I like it, do I?" She pouted slightly, a look that drew a charmed smile from Jo, who ran a gentle finger down the line of Cadie's jaw.

  "No, sweetheart, you don't have to like it," she replied softly. "Here's an idea. It's early and we've got some time. Why don't I get up and feed the monster here?" She ruffled the fur on top of the cat's head playfully. "I'll put together some breakfast for us as well and then we can spend the next few hours in bed getting to know each other."

  "In the Biblical sense?" Cadie quipped hopefully, grinning at the belly laugh that erupted from the tall skipper.

  Jo leaned forward and kissed her soundly before sliding out of bed. She groaned as she stretched stiff and sore limbs. "Don't go away. I'll be right back," she said, padding gingerly around the bed.

  Cadie couldn't keep her eyes off the lanky Australian whose t-shirt barely covered the tops of her long legs.

  "Mmm," she murmured. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

  Jo lifted one elegant eyebrow in response to the lascivious look on the blonde's face and chuckled as she headed out the door to the living room. "C'mon Mephy, tucker time," she called out.

  The feline sprang up, used Cadie's stomach as a stepping-stone, and bounded out after his mistress.

  "Oooofff... claws!" yelped the blonde, giggling quietly to herself when she heard Jo laughing at her distress.

  Jo was still laughing as she crossed the living room into the kitchen, retrieving the cat's bowl from the corner where it had been kicked in all the commotion of the day before. Remembering just what a bizarre day it had been brought her up short for a moment and she glanced over to the front door where the crudely-fashioned makeshift replacement paid testament to the day's events.

  Was that really me? Do I still have that violent animal inside me? She poured a handful of kibble into the bowl and placed it on the floor for Mephisto, crouching next to him and absentmindedly running her fingers through his fur as he tucked into the food. So much has happened in the last 24 hours. So much that was awful. She glanced toward the bedroom where she could hear Cadie pottering about, humming tunelessly to herself. But she made it wonderful, Jo thought with a smile. All that horror, and she wiped it away with one touch and one word.

  She shook her head in disbelief and opened the fridge in search of the contents for a suitable breakfast-in-bed.

  I can't get over the connection I feel with her, she thought as she pulled out mangoes, strawberries, and a couple of bananas. It feels... old... and deep.

  A wave of melancholy washed through her as she began slicing the various fruits into bite-sized pieces and placing them on a platter.

  Bottom line is it doesn't matter how connected we feel, she thought grimly. In a few hours we'll be back to reality. Naomi will be breathing down Cadie's neck, and in less than two weeks that gorgeous blonde in my bedroom will disappear from my life like she was never here. She tossed the knife into the sink with a satisfying clatter. That kiss may have been a huge mistake, Jo-Jo. You're about to get your heart broken.

  Cadie emerged from the bathroom and took the opportunity to explore Jo's bedroom while the tall skipper was otherwise occupied in the kitchen.

  She wandered around the large room, taking in the cool blue and green tones of the largely unadorned walls, and the few knick-knacks sitting on the crowded bookshelves. There was one picture of an older couple she assumed were Jo's parents, arm-in-arm outside a comfortable-looking white bungalow-style house. Apart from that there was nothing to indicate Jo had had a childhood of any sort. Cadie carefully picked up a foot-long clear bottle which held an exquisite model ship, the rigging and sails a mass of delicately executed ropes and spars.

  This took hours and hours to make. Cadie gingerly replaced the bottle on its stand. It's gorgeous. She ran a finger across a row of books, taking in the titles and learning what she could about her tall companion. Hmmm, science-fiction mainly. Biographies, Buddhism. That raised her eyebrows a little. And what's this? Smiling broadly, Cadie pulled out a lesbian romance novel whose author was one of her own stable of talent. Well, whaddaya know? Tall, dark, and dangerous is a sucker for romance. She grinned as she slid the book back into its place.

  The room was neat and well organized and reminded Cadie of the inside of the Sea wolf.

  Not surprising, I guess. Everything's tucked away and in its place. She smiled as she crawled back into the bed, sliding between the sheets and curling up in a patch of sunlight. I know so little about her, but I feel like I've known her forever. Her body shivered slightly at the memory of Jo's touch. Yesterday was so...bizarre...that darkness that's in her—can I live with that?

  She snorted to herself, rolling back up into a sitting position and hugging her knees to her chest.

  God, listen to me. Live with what? she chastised herself. I'm thinking like I don't have another life. Damn... what am I going to do? Jo's become the most precious thing in the world to me, but it's all so complicated. And I'm not sure I want more complications in my life.

  A small tear escaped and rolled down Cadie's cheek as she rested her chin on her forearms. She sniffed mournfully and gazed out at the spectacular view of Whitsunday Passage.

  She felt, rather than heard the quiet presence behind her and turned to see Jo holding a huge platter of fruit as she leaned against the doorjamb. The tall skipper looked worried.

  "Hi," the blonde said quietly, brushing away the tears with a quick swipe of her hand.

  "Hey," Jo replied. "You look like you could use a hug."

  Cadie nodded, disconcerted to find her chin wobbling at the concern in Jo's eyes. The skipper sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over Cadie's legs to slide the platter onto the flat part of the mattress, out of the way. "C'mere, sweetie," the dark-haired woman said, wrapping the blonde up in long, willing arms. She ignored the ache from her injured arm as she rested her cheek on the top of Cadie's head and rocked her gently for a while. "What's up?"

  Cadie laughed tearfully into Jo's neck. "Oh, nothing much. Just a few small little things. Like I'm not married to the person I'm in love with. And I am married to someone I don't think I even like much anymore." There was a pause as she gathered herself. "And... and... and in 10 days I have to go back to the States." The words rushed out.

  Jo closed her eyes and grimaced, recognizing the pain behind Cadie's words and its mirror image in her own heart. But at the same time a soft, happy little chime sounded in her head. She pulled away from Cadie and ducked her head to catch the smaller woman's eye. "You're in love with me?" she asked, a lop-sided grin giving her a rakish air.

  Moist green eyes managed a smile back at her. "Well, um, yes, I think I might be...yes," replied Cadie, feeling the blush rise across her face and neck. "I...um...sorry, that's probably the last thing you wanted to hear right now, what with everything else that I said last night..."

  Jo lifted her chin with a gentle fingertip and deliberately locked gazes with the blonde.

  "Do I look like I'm complaining?" she asked softly. "I'm glad you said it. I was hoping I wasn't the only one feeling that way." She smiled gently as Cadie looked up at her wonderingly.

  "Wow," Cadie whispered. "That's nice to know."

  "Mhmm," answered Jo as she leaned down to capture the American's lips in a soul-deep, intense kiss.

  "God that feels good." Cadie took a few seconds to s
avor the feeling but soon Jo could again see the fear in those beautiful eyes.

  "Honey—" she started, but Cadie's hands flew up to cover her face as panic overtook the blonde.

  "Jesus, Jo-Jo, what are we going to do? This is a nightmare."

  Jo sighed and pulled Cadie back into an all-enveloping hug.

  "I'll tell you what we're going to do," she said fiercely. "For a start, we're going to live in the minute as much n» we inn. We have the next few hours to ourselves. Let's take the opportunity to ask and answer the million and one questions I know we have." She felt Cadie nodding against her shoulder and acknowledged the perceptible relaxation of the American's body. "Then we're going to go back to the Seawolf and deal with reality as best we can."

  Cadie whimpered softly and Jo chuckled.

  "I know, baby. But then we're going to do exactly what you said you needed to do last night."

  "What's that?" came the muffled question.

  "We're going to take it one step at a time, Arcadia. You're going to work through all the loose ends with Naomi till you get to a conclusion you can live with." Cadie nodded again. "And then you're going to spend whatever time you need deciding what you want to do next." Jo softly kissed the top of the blonde's disheveled head. "And the bottom line is, darling, I'm not going anywhere. You'll always know where to find me, if and when you're ready to."

  Jo knew she sounded brave and strong, but she felt a large part of her heart crumbling under the reality of her own words. There's a chance I may never see her again once she goes home.

  "I love you," Cadie said quietly.

  Jo smiled into the golden hair against her face. "I love you, too," she replied.

  Cadie patted the bed on her right-hand side where she could still feel remnants of Jo's body heat. "Come back to bed?"

  A few minutes later they were side by side again with the platter of fruit between them. They each propped themselves up on an elbow to eat their breakfast and occasionally they fed each other a tasty morsel.