Heart's Passage

by Cate Swannell

  "And who gets the money?" That came from the senator, whose fingers continued to trail across Cadie's shoulder possessively.

  It figures she would ask that, Cadie and Jo thought simultaneously.

  "Well," drawled Jo, "it's Ron's boat, so technically the money goes to Cheswick Marine." She grinned again at the slightly disappointed looks around the fire. "Except that Ron made a policy years ago that whoever's on board shares the money." Smiles brightened. "So whatever we win, we split between all of us, okay?"

  "Alllriiight," Toby whooped, high-fiving his partner.

  Jo laughed. "We haven't won anything yet, mate."

  "We will," Jason said confidently.

  Jo nodded. "If we sail well we will," she agreed, leaning back on her elbows and running a handful of sand through her fingers. "We're gonna need about three of you to help us out at any one time. You up for it?"

  "You bet, Jo-Jo," Toby said. Jason nodded vigorously beside him.

  "I'm up for it," Cadie said quietly. Jo smiled at her and tilted her head in acknowledgment.

  "Me too," the senator said quickly, despite having not once lifted a finger to help the crew since coming aboard.

  Jo watched Cadie's eyes roll and fought hard not to laugh out loud. Instead she opted to be gracious. "Thank you, Senator," she murmured.

  Just then Paul entered the circle from one side and Jenny from the other a few seconds later.

  Subtle, thought Jo, an affectionate smile creasing her face. She caught Cadie's eye again and saw the same thought crossing the blonde's mind. Nice to know one shipboard romance is working out okay.

  She looks years younger when she smiles, Cadie thought, allowing herself a few seconds to just appreciate the angular, dark beauty of the woman sitting opposite her. She tingled at the memory of Jo's touch. Hard to believe that was only this morning. It feels like it was a week ago. Again their eyes met and Cadie felt the blush rising, realizing her thoughts and the skipper's were traveling along similar lines. Dark blue eyes looked up at her from under the peak of the cap and what she saw there, set Cadie's pulse racing. Again.

  Jo groaned inwardly, wishing the world would disappear.

  "Tacking!" Jo yelled as she spun the wheel as hard to starboard as she could. The three men scuttled around the deck, ducking the boom and clearing the sheets and sails as Jenny and Cadie worked the winches hard. "Go, go, go," she urged as the boom and rigging slammed across the boat, swinging them round in a tight arc. "Go hard. Go hard!"

  Jo looked up and held her breath, exhaling as the mainsail filled and they regained momentum. Didn't lose too much with that one, she thought, pleased with the efforts of her makeshift crew. And it's just as well. She glanced across to Bombardier, which was on the opposite tack and pretty much neck-and-neck with Seawolf as both yachts plowed down the third and final reach to the finish line. This is going to be a close-run thing.

  She looked back down the length of the Seawolf. Cadie and Jenny were flat on their backs, breathing hard next to their respective winches. They'd lost the first race of the series yesterday, mainly because everyone was scrambling to learn the race routine, but things were much improved today. Jo grinned. "Good work, guys," she shouted. "Maybe two more tacks and we should be there."

  Cadie lifted her head up and looked back at the skipper. "Are we in front?" she panted.

  Jo watched as Bombardier headed towards them on the opposite tack.

  "Not sure. It's close," she replied. "Right now it looks like they're going to cross in front of us, but it won't be by much."

  Cadie nodded and dropped her head back down, folding arms across her eyes and breathing deeply. Damn, that grinding is a good workout. Her shoulders ached and her lungs burned as she tried to recover before the next tack. Something cold touched her knee and she glanced down to see Therese holding a stubby of beer out to her. "Thanks," she murmured as she took the bottle and sat up to drink.

  It was a glorious day. The cloudless sky arched above them but the stiff sea breeze took the sting out of the sun's burn. Cadie looked around and took in the view. Hamilton Island was behind them and ahead was an open expanse of ocean, with the yacht club's launch away in the distance, marking the race finish.

  Naomi and the other women passengers were lounging around the cockpit, chatting and drinking and generally doing their best to stay out of the way of the crew.

  "Here we go," Jo yelled as Bombardier loomed up on their starboard side. "Prepare to tack if we need to bear away, people." They were close enough now to hear the crew yelling on the other boat. Cadie jumped up and grabbed the handle on her grinder, ready if they had to retrim the sails. Paul ran to the bow.

  "Jesus, it's going to be close," Jo muttered to herself. Hold your nerve, Jo-Jo. Hold your nerve. You only have to miss by an inch. The other 50-footer ploughed towards them and Jo opened her mouth to call the bear-away order, but Paul beat her to it.

  "You're right, Skipper," he yelled. "She's going to cross in front."

  A few seconds later he was proven right as Bombardier slid past their bowsprit, close enough to see grinning faces.

  "We've got you again, Paulie," the Seawolf crewman's opposite number shouted as the yachts pulled away from each other again.

  "Long way to go, you mouthy bastard," replied Paul under his breath, as he made his way back to the helm. "Close, Skipper," he said as he grinned at Jo, whose black hair was whipping around her head.

  She beamed back at him, feeling the adrenaline rush. I've missed this. She caught Cadie's eye as the blonde sat down on the edge of the cockpit cover, dangling her legs over the edge. Their eyes locked for the briefest of moments before Cadie tore hers away, a smile playing across her lips. I miss you, Jo mentally projected. I miss talking with you. I miss touching you.

  "Hey, Skip, where are you?" Jenny blurted. "They're tacking again!"

  "Shiiit," Jo exclaimed. "Come on, guys, prepare to tack."

  Everyone scattered to their stations again and soon they were repeating the routine, swinging back onto the port tack.

  "We're losing ground, Skipper," Paul said shortly after as he watched Bombardier cross easily in front of them. "No danger of a collision this time."

  "All we can do is trim it tighter, Paulie," Jo replied, looking up into the rigging. "What do you think?"

  The big man shrugged. "Bit dodgy, Skip," he said, looking back at her. "We've only got one spare mainsail."

  "Don't want to waste our prize money on a new sail," Jo agreed.

  "Don't want to go two races down either," Cadie piped up from where she was sitting.

  "Easy for you to say, Cadie," Jo retorted, laughing. "You don't have to face my boss." She's a competitor, I like that. She pondered the problem as Bombardier threatened to take an unassailable lead. "What the hell, Paulie, let's go for it."

  "Yes!" Cadie yelled, jumping to her feet, evoking chuckles from around the cockpit.

  "And you call me competitive," Jo muttered to Paul, provoking another guffaw from the big man as she took back the helm.

  "And her butt is cuter than yours, too," he answered conspiratorially, as he passed her on his way forward.

  Can't argue with that, Jo thought appreciatively, taking in the sight of Cadie crouching over her assigned winch. Can't argue with that at all.

  But then, like a cloud crossing the sun, the senator from Illinois was in Jo's face. The skipper didn't flinch, instead fixing Naomi with the steeliest ice-chip glare she could muster. She took a degree of satisfaction when the stocky American took a backward step.

  "Enjoying the view, Miss Madison?" the senator asked coldly. Jo didn't reply, just continued to look Naomi in the eye. "I would appreciate it if you could manage to keep your interactions with my partner purely professional from now on."

  "Right now, that includes talking about the race, Senator," Jo replied quietly, aware that Cadie was watching the conversation with wide, scared eyes. There's something here I'm not getting. "And as Cadie is acting as part of my crew,
I can't really avoid speaking to her."

  A deceptively friendly smile played across the senator's lips but never quite reached her eyes. "Then try to do it without leering," she said. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to do something you might regret." With that she turned away, not affording Jo the chance to respond.

  Oh, she is begging to be bitch-slapped, Jo found her inner demon saying. And I am just the bitch to do it. I hope I get half a reason to, that's all I'll need. Paying customer be damned.

  Cadie's eyes were still on her, and Jo took the chance while Naomi's back was turned to flash the blonde a reassuring smile. She got a wobbly response and felt her heart ache.

  This so sucks. She willed herself to concentrate as the Seawolf neared the mark she'd designated as the place to tack. "All right, let's go," she yelled, pushing everything but the race out of her mind.

  Cadie arched her back and rolled her neck around to ease the ache from sitting for the past hour hunched over her laptop. In the evening she had made the short walk up the hill from Hamilton Marina to the hotel. There she'd hooked up to the Internet and downloaded what appeared to be half the planet's e-mail. Since then she had been sifting through the posts, sorting the ones that needed a reply from the ones that could wait until she was back in the States.

  Funny how I can't seem to call it home anymore, she pondered, kneading the back of her neck with her thumb.

  So far Naomi hadn't pushed the issue of her closing down her business, but Cadie suspected that was only because it hadn't occurred to the senator that she needed to push it yet. She was sure things would be different back in Chicago.

  Cadie reached for the computer again, wincing slightly at the tugging ache across her shoulders and the backs of her arms, a legacy of four days of manning the winches and grinders up on deck.

  Four days, four races and all square at two wins each, Cadie mused. Tomorrow's going to be a big day. Seawolf had indeed gone two races down after the first two days of the regatta but with each day Toby, Jason, and Cadie had become better and better at making the big yacht race smoothly. Yesterday they had edged Bombardier by the barest of margins but today Seawolf had claimed the money by almost two boat lengths. And tomorrow there's $11,000 up for grabs, she thought excitedly.

  She grinned to herself as she remembered Jo's delighted reaction when they had leveled the series that afternoon.

  Like a kid in a candy store. And that smile. She closed her eyes and brought to mind the 1000-watt grin that had split Jo's face when the gun went off as they crossed the finish line. Wow. I'd give a lot to see that again.

  "What's so interesting?" Naomi growled from where she sat on the bed behind Cadie. "You've been reading that same post for the last 10 minutes."

  Back to reality, Cadie.

  "It's from Mom," she said out loud. "She says hello, by the way." Naomi grunted. "She wants to know if we're going to have time to go up and visit before we have to get back to DC." Cadie heard the words coming out of her mouth, but it felt like she was talking about somebody else's life. Boy, I wish I could talk to you right now, Mom. Without an audience.

  "Probably not," Naomi replied. "The Senate reconvenes the Monday after we get back. And driving up to Madison with jet lag just to turn round and come back again doesn't really appeal."

  "I guess not," Cadie murmured. She found it incredibly hard to imagine being back in a Midwest winter. No, she corrected herself. I'm finding it hard to imagine going back to my old life. The realization was both liberating and depressing. But I'm going to have to. At least for now. She looked around the small, tasteful cabin. I wonder when I will be able to come back.

  "I'm going to take a shower," Naomi said, standing and picking up a towel from the bottom of the bed.

  "Okay," Cadie acknowledged, closing out programs and shutting down the laptop. She sighed. I wonder which nightclub she's going to drag me to this evening. "Where's the party tonight?"

  "Club up at the hotel," the senator replied gruffly. "Wear something short." And with that she closed the bathroom door behind her.

  "Well actually, Senator, I wasn't really looking for any fashion advice," Cadie muttered to the empty room. It's been a party every night since Friday and there'll be another tomorrow night, especially if we win. She sighed again. I need a cup of coffee.

  She opened the door to the cabin and walked out into the Sea-wolf's main lounge. And right into an open blue gaze that bathed her in a bone-deep wash of warmth.

  "H-hello," she murmured, unable, not to mention totally unwilling, to tear her eyes away from Jo's. She moved closer, joining the taller woman behind the counter in the galley.

  "Hi there," Jo replied, feeling a quiet joy welling up inside her at the sight of the blonde's wrinkle-nosed smile. "Where's your watchdog?"

  Cadie bit her lip. "In the shower," she said, flicking a quick glance towards the cabin door, her stomach lurching at the thought of being caught.

  A strong arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. Cadie turned back and looked up into Jo's warm regard, suddenly feeling a shield of protection envelop her.

  "I miss you, Jo-Jo," she whispered.

  "And I you, love," Jo replied, leaning down and capturing Cadie's lips in the softest of kisses imaginable. The blonde reached up, sliding her arms around the tall woman's neck and pulling her down, deepening the contact into a sweet exploration. Finally Jo broke away, resting her forehead against Cadie's. She closed her eyes and felt her heart nestling into a very safe place. "What's going on, sweetheart?" she asked quietly.

  Cadie touched a fingertip to the soft lips just inches from her own. "Don't ask, please?" Blue eyes flickered open and caught her own, the gaze intense. "Please, Jo?"

  Jo stood up tall now, tipping Cadie's chin up with gentle touch. She felt the blonde snuggle closer. "Is she threatening you?" Jo asked, fighting to keep a rein on her growing anger.

  Cadie remained silent, dropping her eyes to escape Jo's scrutiny.

  A light came on in the skipper's head. Ah. Now I get it. "She's threatening me, isn't she?" she asked, reading the acknowledgement in the blinking green eyes that quickly tracked back to hers. "Cadie, she can't do anything to hurt me."

  "Yes, Jo, she can." Cadie pulled away from Jo and began putting together two cups of coffee. "You don't understand how powerful she is. She can hurt us both." She clattered cups on the counter, frustration making her hands clumsy.

  "Arcadia," Jo said calmly, stepping forward and taking the shorter woman's hands in her own. She waited until the blonde turned back and met her gaze, tears welling in her eyes. "Listen to me. I can handle anything she can throw at me. I've come up against a lot worse than her, I promise."

  They both startled at a noise from the direction of Cadie's cabin.

  "Jo, please just trust me with this," she said hurriedly, pleading with her eyes. "She can do a whole lot of damage to you, the company, all of it. Just let me get her back to the States and she'll soon forget all about you."

  Jo couldn't argue. She leaned forward and again rested her forehead against Cadie's. "I do trust you," she whispered, feeling tears close to the surface. "But this hurts. It hurts seeing the way she's treating you, and not being able to do anything about it. And," she swallowed, "and it hurts that you're leaving with her. I know that was always going to be the case, but the way she's being...just makes it worse."

  Cadie cupped her hands around Jo's face. "Nothing's changed in my heart, Jossandra," she said fiercely. "I will come back. I need to come back. But for now I need to keep you safe. And if that means staying away from you and putting up with her touching me..." She shuddered involuntarily and Jo tightened her arms around her waist.

  "I hate her touching you," she muttered, squeezing Cadie gently.

  "I know. And I hate the way she touches me. But if it means doing what she tells me to do for a while...then I'll do it. Gladly."

  A tear overflowed and tracked down Jo's cheek. Cadie caught it with the pad her thumb and brushed it away. "H
ave you noticed we never seem to cry at the same time?" she asked with a weak smile, leaning in and kissing the tip of Jo's nose. "One of us is always being the strong one."

  "Just as well," Jo sniffled. "Otherwise we'd never get anything done." They both laughed softly and then got lost once more in their connection. "Has anyone ever told you, you have the most beautiful eyes, Miss Jones?" Jo murmured.

  "Nobody whose opinion ever mattered to me like yours does," Cadie replied, pulling the skipper's head down again for another long, lingering kiss. Louder noises from the direction of Cadie's cabin broke them apart, breathless and hungry for more.

  "You'd better get back in there," Jo whispered into the blonde's ear, feeling Cadie's arms tighten around her in response. "I'll be here waiting for you, darling. Always."

  "I love you." Cadie disengaged quickly, grabbing the two coffee cups and heading back to the cabin door. She looked back over her shoulder and met an encouraging smile with one of her own, before she pushed open the door and disappeared inside.

  Damn. Jo rubbed her eyes with one tired hand. This isn't getting any easier.

  Twenty minutes later Jo was sitting up on the cockpit cowling with Paul, the spare mainsail gathered around them in large, cream-colored ruffles. They were going over the kevlar with a fine-tooth comb.

  "I guess this means we're going all-out tomorrow, eh boss?" Paul asked with a grin as they painstakingly stitched a patch to a needy bit of sail.

  Jo cocked an eyebrow at him. "Well, I called Ron, and the prospect of $11,000 on top of the $2000 we've already won has him drooling," she said. "So he said go for it. It'll be a boost for the company if we can win that trophy."

  Paul snorted. "It won't do us any harm either," he replied.

  "I thought of that," Jo said, beaming.

  Just then she caught sight of Naomi and Cadie dressed up for a night out emerging from the main cabin. The blonde was in a shimmering green mini-dress that managed to accentuate both her eye color and her shapely legs. Jo had a hard time tearing her eyes away.