Heart's Passage

by Cate Swannell

  "And she's just given them that opportunity," Jo murmured.

  "Yes," Cadie quietly agreed. "It could get very ugly."

  "Ugly as a hatful of arseholes." Jo grinned at the belly laugh that erupted from the blonde. Cadie quickly tried to stifle it as heads popped up in the cockpit. "Sorry, love," Jo said. "Didn't mean to do that to you."

  Cadie wiped away a tear as she finished giggling. "God, I adore the way you talk," she said, beaming back at the tall Australian, who arched an elegant eyebrow in reply.

  "Perhaps you'd better back off a little, darling," Jo said softly. "Last thing we need right now is Naomi going off on another rant."

  Cadie sighed and turned around again to lean back on the rail. "Well, the good news is she's got way too much on her mind right now to worry about what I'm doing," she muttered.

  Jo sensed the change in mood and saw the look of quiet resignation in the blonde's eyes. "And the bad news?"

  Cadie's head dropped and she fiddled nervously with the gold band around her ring finger. "The bad news is I still have to go back with her, Jo-Jo."

  Jo smiled quietly, unsurprised by that. "I know, honey." She resumed gently circling her fingers between Cadie's shoulder blades, feeling the tension rippling under the surface of the soft skin. "Just to set your mind at ease a little, Paul and Jenny didn't find any drugs anywhere aboard."

  Cadie straightened up and Jo saw her jaw muscles working as she ground her teeth together. "So she was just trying to bluff me," the blonde growled. "And I let her."

  "Ssshhh. Don't be so hard on yourself. She can be bloody intimidating." That drew a smile from the American. Was wondering if I'd see that again.

  "This from the Queen of Dangerous." Cadie was pleased when she felt the rumbling laugh from the tall woman behind her. And I'm going to give her an hour to stop that rubbing.

  "Like I said before, I've seen a lot worse than Naomi Silver-berg," Jo said quietly. Cadie nodded silently and Jo felt a wave of sympathy for the younger woman. "You have a lot of history with her, Arcadia. I understand that you feel a need to support her through whatever happens next."

  "It's not just that, Jo," the blonde replied. "There are so many loose ends."

  "I know. I'll be here when you're ready, sweetheart."

  Cadie turned to face her, sliding a hand over Jo's nearest knee and squeezing softly. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" she asked softly, feeling a thrill as their eyes met, a solid jolt of desire warming her belly. Blue eyes blazed into hers and she knew Jo felt it too. A long thumb slid gently back and forth across the skin of the back of her hand.

  "No," Jo replied, teasing, "but feel free to tell me as often as you like from now on."

  "Okay." Another long smiling moment passed between them. Crisis? What crisis? "I love you more than air," she said tenderly, lifting Jo's hand to her mouth and brushing her lips across the palm gently.

  A shiver unbalanced Jo momentarily and she quickly grabbed on to the bowsprit with her free hand, the strength of her physical reaction to Cadie's touch surprising her. She exhaled on a long, ragged breath.

  "Wow," Jo muttered. They blinked at each other for a few seconds. "Did you feel that, too?"

  "Oh yes."

  "More than air, huh?" Jo asked. Cadie nodded solemnly. "Oh, we are in so much trouble."

  They'd decided on a late supper, and by 10pm everyone was starting to mellow out just a little. Soft music drifted up from below decks and though the moon was only about half full, phosphorescence shimmered in the water around the boat. The air was still and the sounds of the open ocean half a mile away could be clearly heard in the background. There had been no sign of any media either by sea or air.

  Cadie sprawled across the cockpit cowling, her belly full of fresh seafood, including lobster caught by Paul and Jo just that afternoon. She looked up into the blanket of softly twinkling stars. There must be more stars in this southern sky than back in Chicago, she thought wistfully. Here, away from the masking lights of any big cities, the inky sky seemed crowded with twinkling pinpoints. Beautiful.

  She shivered as the slight suggestion of a breeze brushed coolly over her bare arms and shoulders, making the ever-present sunburn tingle in response. Cadie heard a movement to her left and started as a cream-colored sweatshirt landed in her lap.

  "It gets cool quickly out here," a familiar, warm voice said softly from below her. Cadie glanced down and saw two night-darkened eyes blinking back at her.

  "Thanks," the blonde replied quietly, flicking a glance at Naomi who hadn't moved from the same spot in the corner of the cockpit all day. The senator didn't even give them a second glance. Cadie let her eyes drift back to Jo, a smile flirting between them.

  "My pleasure," the skipper murmured before she moved away again.

  Cadie pulled the sweatshirt over her head. Her senses tingled when she recognized the cinnamon-tinged scent as a combination of the soap Jo used and the tall woman's own distinctive aroma. And something else, she pondered, breathing the comforting essence in deeply. Sunscreen, she realized, smiling. God, I hope she doesn't plan on getting this back any time soon...if ever. She giggled softly at herself.

  From where she sat in the crew cockpit, playing random notes on Paul's guitar, Jo watched the blonde affectionately. That thing's way too big for her, she thought as Cadie pulled the sweatshirt on and wriggled around in it till it was sitting comfortably. She could wear it as a dress. She found herself grinning as she caught Cadie pulling the front of the garment up to her nose and apparently sniffing it. What is she... She tilted her head inquiringly but all she got back in reply was a silly grin. I'm guessing that's the last I'll see of that shirt, she thought affectionately.

  The music piped up from below ended and Jo began humming softly as she plucked the guitar's strings, letting her voice and the instrument find their own path together. She felt rather than saw Cadie's eyes fix on her and she tried to make the music just for one person, weaving a slow, melodic counterpoint around the guitar's notes.

  That's magic. Cadie stretched out on her side, head propped on her hand as she listened intently. When I get back I want to hear a lot more of her singing. Need to get her out here on the water and relaxed. Just the two of us. Because any minute now...

  "What time is it in DC?" Naomi interrupted. Jo, who didn't know, ignored the question and continued playing.

  Toby came up from below and sat down opposite the senator. "It's 7am, Nay," he said quietly.

  "Jesus Christ," Naomi exclaimed, standing suddenly and beginning a restless pacing up and down the length of the cockpit. "I can see it now. They're all choking on their muesli as they watch Good Morning America."

  "I can't see Trent Lott eating muesli," Toby muttered incongruously. "He's more of an eggs Benedict kind of guy."

  Jo laughed quietly between codas, ignoring the evil glare she got from the senator as she resumed singing softly. Suddenly a cell phone rang somewhere below decks.

  Naomi swung on Toby. "I thought we didn't bring any phones," she snapped. He put his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

  "It's mine," Paul shouted from below. The ringing stopped as he obviously answered the call.

  "But the GOP does know where you are, right, Naomi?" Toby asked as the senator resumed her seat.

  She snorted. "It was all I could do to stop them from turning this into a diplomatic mission instead of a vacation," she answered grumpily. "They were all for me giving some stupid, pointless speeches every other day. As if we give a damn what anybody in this backwater thinks of us." Cadie winced and flashed Jo an apologetic look. "We compromised. I gave them all the details of where we'd be, including the company's phone number, and I agreed to answer them when they called."

  "Which is exactly what they want you to do," Paul said from where he stood at the top of the companionway. He reached out to Naomi with both his cell phone and a piece of paper. "That was Ron," he explained. "There's an urgent message for you, Senator."

  Nice
to see her intimidated for a change, Jo couldn't help thinking as she watched Naomi tentatively take the phone and message from her crewman.

  "Fuck," the politician growled as she read the note. "It's from Lott," she told Toby and Jason. "Wants me to call him immediately."

  The two men sat silently, neither willing to give any advice. Jo watched as she continued to play, humming softly now. Cadie sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the cowling.

  Feels like everyone is just holding their breath, Jo thought, catching Cadie's slightly shadowed eyes. Water slapped against the hull softly as everyone on board waited for Naomi to make a move. She sat still for several seconds, turning the cell phone over and over in one hand as she tugged at her bottom lip with the fingers of the other.

  "So..." she finally said. "I guess I'd better call him." She stood and climbed up out of the cockpit, picking her way forward to find a little more privacy.

  Cadie wondered briefly if she should follow, but thought better of it. She'll be letting us all know exactly how it went, if I know her.

  Sure enough, it wasn't many minutes before Naomi's fate became obvious to all. Subdued talking was followed by a protracted pause. Jo, the only one with an unobstructed view of the front of the boat, watched the senator's silhouette. After being almost rock-still for several minutes, Naomi suddenly exploded into motion, letting loose a long ragged howl of frustration and tossing the cell phone high and far.

  The ensuing silence was punctuated by the distant splash of the electronic projectile.

  "Tell me that wasn't my phone," Paul muttered.

  "Okay, that wasn't your phone," Jo lied grimly.

  Further conversation was prevented by the return of the senator who stomped back down into the cockpit and slumped in her usual corner.

  "What's the news?" Toby asked quietly.

  Naomi sighed. '-They want us back there as soon as possible."

  It's always "us" when she's in trouble, Cadie thought ruefully.

  Toby grunted and turned to Jo. "Don't suppose you know the airline schedules off the top of your head, Jo?" he asked.

  Jo nodded. "I know enough to know the first plane to Sydney's at 9.30am tomorrow," she replied. "That will get you there in time to connect with the outgoing lunchtime flights to LA or San Francisco."

  "And you can get us back to the airport in time for that?"

  Jo did some rough calculations in her head. "Not unless we sail at night, which isn't the best plan. But there's no problem. We can organize a water taxi to get out here by, say, 5.30am. Early enough to get you to Hamilton Island in plenty of time."

  Toby nodded. "Then I suggest we all start packing," he said quietly.

  Larissa piped up from where she leaned against the starboard rail. "Why do we all have to go back now? There are still a few days to go," she whined.

  Naomi stopped her progress towards the companionway and Cadie watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Ohhh, Larissa, that was not a good move, the blonde thought with a guilty feeling of relief that the oncoming blast wasn't going to be directed at her.

  The senator turned, walked over to the lanky brunette, and leaned down so she was inches away from Larissa's slightly startled face. "I'll tell you why, Larissa," she hissed. "Because I paid for the whole damn thing. Because it's my reputation that got you out of jail in the first place." Jo and Cadie exchanged glances, the blonde smiling slightly at the skipper's eloquently arched eyebrow. "And because I goddamn well said so. Is that all right with you?" Larissa nodded mutely, shrinking away from the senator's intimidating presence. "Right. Let's get on with it then, shall we?"

  The senator stomped down the companionway and disappeared below. For a few seconds the other passengers just sat in silence, absorbing their changed circumstances. Then, one by one, they stood and trailed down after her. Cadie was the last to go, jumping down off the cowling and casting a find smile in Jo's direction.

  Unexpectedly Jo found it hard to swallow for the tugging ache in her throat. She tried to smile back at the blonde before Cadie turned and headed below decks, but she knew her response had been wobbly at best. Damn. I thought there would be more time before I started feeling like this. She was aware of Jenny watching her quietly from the top of the companionway and she turned away from the crewman's scrutiny. I refuse to cry. If I cry now, how the hell am I going to cope when she leaves in the morning?

  "She threw my goddamned phone into the ocean," Paul lamented from where he stood near the boom. "Can you believe that?"

  Perfect end to a perfect day. She reached around and undipped her own cell phone, keying in the Cheswick Marine office manager's home phone number. "Hi, Doris, it's Jo," she said when the woman answered. Jo glanced down at her watch, grimacing at the lateness of the hour. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about disturbing you at home this late. But we've got a bit of a problem and I need you to make some quick arrangements for me..."

  Cadie moved quietly around the cabin, collecting odds and ends that still needed to be packed, and sliding them into nooks and crannies in either her or Naomi's bags. Normally she wouldn't have worried about who ended up with what, but a little voice in her head told her to keep her stuff close by.

  I've already started separating our lives, she realized with a rush. She thought about all the logistics leaving Naomi was going to entail and the complexity of it felt overwhelming. She fought down a slightly panicky feeling. Make like Scarlett O'Hara, Arcadia. Think about today, today and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. She glanced over to the bed where Naomi was sprawled untidily. The senator had fallen asleep not long after they had started packing, preferring, as usual, to let Cadie do the work.

  Cadie watched the familiar outline of her partner's face for a while. She was again struck by how much the woman had changed from the young college activist she had connected with 12 years earlier.

  I should feel sadder about the prospect of leaving you, Naomi. She lovingly tucked a certain cream-colored sweatshirt into the corner of her suitcase. But I don't. I'm scared, and I don't know when it's going to happen, but I don't have any doubts about it anymore. Being with you hasn't been what I've wanted for myself for a long time. And it only took a couple of weeks around Jo to make me see that. She snorted quietly at herself. Hell, truth be told, it took about two hours.

  She shivered slightly, rubbing her arms to chase away the predawn chill. She knew the water taxi would be coming for them soon.

  I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave Jo. She leaned over the suitcase, hands pressed onto the top of her clothes, eyes closed as a wave of melancholy threatened to unbalance her. Oh God, Jo-Jo. I don't want to go, because I don't know when I can come back again. And the truth is I don't want to spend another minute without you. I've gone from being someone else's partner, to being totally and utterly yours. Lock, stock, and barrel. A picture of the tall skipper's sexy, lopsided grin floated behind her eyelids and Cadie felt herself smile. Not that you would put it that way, my love. But that's how it feels to me.

  A light knocking on the door tore at her attention.

  "Come on in."

  She looked over as Jenny stuck her head around the door. "Water taxi will be here in about half an hour, Cadie," the hostess said softly.

  "Thanks," the blonde replied. She glanced over at her slumbering bedmate. "We'll be ready, despite all appearances to the contrary."

  Jenny smiled back before disappearing again and Cadie sighed. She walked over to the bed and reached down, shaking the senator's shoulder gently. "Come on, Naomi, time to face the music."

  Jo hugged her knees up to her chest and stretched her sweatshirt over them to fight off the pre-dawn chill. She gazed out to the east where pale pinks and yellows were starting to tint the sky. A long, thin line of cloud banded the horizon, its underside glowing orange as the sun threatened to peek above the waterline.

  The dark-haired skipper rested the back of her head against the mast, content to let the growing activity below decks carry on
without her. Jo hadn't slept at all but she felt strangely alert, her senses were buzzing.

  I don't want to forget any of this. I don't want to forget a single detail of the last time I see Cadie. If she manages to get back here someday I want to have something I can compare that happiness to. The perverse logic of that tickled her sense of humor. If she manages to get back here.

  She could feel and hear the passengers start to move around below. Jenny had done the rounds, warning everyone the water taxi was closing in, and already Paul was helping to move luggage up on deck.

  Jo glanced down at her watch. Barely 5.30am. They should get back to the island in time to pick up their spare gear and get to the airport, she mused.

  Doris had made some hasty phone calls late the night before and managed to book the Americans onto flights all the way back to Chicago.

  Almost 9000 miles away. Nine thousand miles and one enormous goddamn ocean away. Jesus, I don't even have her phone number. As the sun breasted the horizon, bathing the tall woman's angular face in pale warmth, Jo fought the panicky knot of tension in her stomach.

  "Jo-Jo!"

  The skipper looked back over her left shoulder to see Jenny waving from the stern. The hostess pointed towards the mainland and Jo squinted. There in the distance was a large yellow motor launch churning through the waves towards them.

  "Water taxi, Skipper!"

  Jo waved back in acknowledgement and picked herself up off the deck. As she brushed off her shorts she noticed the Americans making their way up on deck. Everyone stood silently watching the approaching vessel. Therese and Sarah had their arms around each other. Toby, taller than his partner, had one arm draped over Jason's shoulder, his chin resting on top of the shorter man's head. Larissa and Kelli, as usual, slouched indifferently away from the rest of the group. Naomi was pacing again, up and back in a tight arc that wore Jo out just looking at her.

  Damn she's wired tighter than the rigging, Jo thought.

  Last one up on deck was Cadie. Unlike the others, the blonde was not looking out towards the water taxi. Instead she turned to find Jo. Their eyes locked and like so many times in the past two and a half weeks, the pair felt the world contract around them. Jo slowly began walking towards the stern, while Cadie stood silently in the cockpit. The skipper crouched down on the cockpit cowling, clasping her hands in front of her as she leaned her forearms on her thighs.