No Ordinary Man

by Suzanne Brockman

  The Sarasota Serial Killer is white, male, twenty-five to forty-five years old, upper middle class….

  Jess shook her head, willing the echo of Parker Elliot’s voice from her head. Rob wasn’t the man the FBI was looking for. He couldn’t possibly be.

  “Tell me,” she said, her heart in her throat. What had Rob done that was so terrible?

  “I can’t.”

  Another “can’t.” “Yes, you can,” she said in frustration. “Just open your mouth and tell me—”

  “I can’t!” Rob’s voice rose in a flare of desperation and anger. Jess couldn’t help but flinch. “I’m sorry,” he said right away. “I didn’t…mean to shout. I just…can’t stand this any more than you can. It’s killing me, Jess.”

  He travels frequently, keeps a low profile, blends easily into a crowd…. Parker Elliot’s description was of Rob. It fit him perfectly.

  Rob leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He held on to the top of his head as if to keep it from flying off. His shoulders were tense, his entire body tight. He looked miserable, a picture of anguish.

  But he wasn’t a serial killer. Jess didn’t believe that. She couldn’t believe that. Still, he was a man in pain. Whatever it was that he’d done in the past, it was clearly tormenting him. Jess felt her eyes fill with tears. Whatever it was that he’d done, how could he absolve himself unless he talked about it?

  Jess touched Rob lightly on the shoulder. “When you’re ready to talk about it,” she said softly, “I’ll be ready to forgive you.”

  He turned to her with a sound that was half laughter, half sob, and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. “God, what did I do to deserve you?”

  Jess held him tightly, stroking the softness of his hair, rocking slightly, trying as hard as she could to comfort him and to take away his pain.

  But he pulled back. “But that’s just it, isn’t it?” he said. His eyes looked red and tired. “I don’t deserve you, so I have to give you up. I’m paying for my sins. I can leave and hate myself for the rest of my life, or I can stay and put you in danger.”

  “Danger?”

  Rob gazed at her, as if debating whether or not to explain. “There are people looking for me,” he finally said. “I can’t let them find me.”

  Serial killers often feel inadequate, and as a result are paranoid. Someone or something is out to get them.

  Jess’s heart was back in her throat. Paranoia wasn’t quite so easy to shrug off as those other, vague descriptions. For the first time, she couldn’t simply dismiss the FBI agent’s words.

  “Who are these people?” she asked Rob. “Why do they want to find you?”

  He just shook his head.

  “You’re a computer programmer, Rob. That’s not exactly a hazardous job these days. I don’t understand—”

  “I’ve already told you too much.” His voice was clipped, his face closed.

  “Please—”

  He stood up, his back stiff and angry. “Look, I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, as he rubbed his neck in an attempt to release his tension. “I’m leaving town,” he said.

  Jess felt as if she’d been punched in the stomach. “Another business trip?” she asked, hoping, praying she’d misunderstood.

  But he shook his head, no. “I’m giving notice at work tomorrow. I’ll leave as soon as they can replace me.”

  Jess’s heart shattered. “Just like that?” she asked. “It’s that easy for you to walk away?”

  “No,” he said. “It’s not easy. But it would be far harder to stay. Jess, I can’t explain.”

  Rob wasn’t a serial killer. He was just a man with too many secrets—a man who had made her fall in love with him, someone who now was going to leave without telling her why.

  “Why?” she asked, the word slipping out along with the single tear that rolled down her cheek. She wiped at the tear, but she couldn’t make the question she’d asked disappear. It didn’t matter. Rob wouldn’t answer it anyway.

  But he did. He turned to her, and with tears in his own eyes, he told her why.

  “Because I love you,” he said quietly. “I have to leave because I love you, Jess. I won’t let you be hurt…or killed.”

  Hope flickered to life and began to thaw the frozen ache in Jess’s heart. He loved her. Rob loved her, and Lord help her, she loved him. When there was love, there was always a way.

  “Please,” she said, holding out her hands to him. “Stay with me tonight. Stay with me…until you have to leave, until they replace you at work…”

  He smiled, but it was another sad smile. “You think you’ll be able to change my mind.”

  “I’m going to try.”

  Rob shook his head, his smile fading. “It’s not a good idea.”

  “You think maybe I’ll succeed.”

  “No. You’ll be disappointed. I’ll be gone and—”

  “You’ll be gone and at least I’ll know I tried in every way that I could to convince you to stay,” Jess declared. “At least I’ll know I did all that I could, instead of just curling up and letting you walk away!”

  Rob was silent.

  “At least I’ll have this time with you,” she said, softer now. “At least I’ll have the memories of that.”

  She could see the indecision on his face. Indecision and heartache.

  “You told me you couldn’t make me any promises,” Jess continued, “but you were wrong. You can. You can promise me two things.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Promise you’ll stay here with me and Kelsey until you have to leave,” she said. “Three or four days, Rob. A week at the most, right? That’s not too much to ask, is it?”

  He was silent for a long time. Finally he nodded. “No, it’s not.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  “I promise,” he said. “If you promise no more questions. No asking why.”

  Jess hesitated only a second. “All right. I promise, too.” She paused. “The second promise is just as easy.”

  “That first promise isn’t easy,” Rob said hotly. “I can’t promise you anything else.”

  “Promise me that if you do have to leave—”

  “Jess, I’m going to leave. Whatever you think, you’re not going to talk me into—”

  “Promise me that if whatever you’re running from, whatever this danger is that you’re afraid of… Promise me that if it ever gets settled, if you’re ever free… Promise you’ll come and find me.”

  Rob pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely. “That’s something I’ll promise you with all my heart.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Jess woke up with Rob’s arms still around her. She didn’t move for many long minutes, didn’t even dare to open her eyes. She simply lay there, listening to the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against hers, the weight of his arm thrown possessively across her.

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. The shades were pulled down, and her bedroom was dim. But the morning light outlined the edges of the shades, and her digital clock switched from 8:16 to 8:17, a not-so-subtle reminder that the night had ended, and a new day had begun.

  She had expected to wake up alone.

  Despite his promise to her, she had expected him to sneak off like a thief in the middle of the night. And this time she had expected him to disappear for good.

  Jess turned and looked at Rob. His face was serene and carefree in sleep. His long, thick lashes lay against his tanned cheeks and his lips were parted slightly. Lord, she wanted to kiss those lips.

  What had he done that was so terrible? What had he done that made him so afraid? His face looked so innocent, so young as he slept. She tried to picture him robbing a bank, or burglarizing a house. She tried to imagine him in over his head, committing a crime through ignorance or desperation. But she couldn’t do it. The images didn’t fit.

  What could he h
ave possibly done?

  The bedroom door swung open, and Jess turned, startled, to see Kelsey standing there.

  “I have to get ready for the bus,” Kelsey said, her wide, curious eyes missing nothing.

  Jess put her finger to her lips. “Close the door,” she whispered. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  She slipped out from Rob’s arms without waking him, and pulled on her robe, opening and closing the bedroom door gently behind her.

  Kelsey was in her own room, getting dressed for school.

  Jess leaned in the doorway. “Kelsey, do you remember what I told you about other people’s privacy?”

  Kelsey nodded.

  “That door was locked. That should have been a clear signal to you that I wanted privacy,” Jess said sternly. She hesitated slightly, but then curiosity got the best of her. “How did you unlock it, anyway?”

  Kelsey crossed to her dresser and picked up a paper clip that had been unbent most of the way. “I just stick this in the little hole in the doorknob,” she said, “and the lock pops open.”

  Jess shook her head. Her daughter, the six-year-old lock picker. “Kelsey, you saw Rob in my room. You know he spent the night with me.”

  Kelsey nodded slowly.

  “I love him,” Jess said.

  Kelsey nodded again. “I know,” she said solemnly. “I do, too.”

  JESS PULLED HER ROBE more tightly around her as she watched Kelsey’s bus drive away.

  Turning, she closed the front door and locked it, then stopped.

  Rob stood at the entrance to the living room, watching her. His hair was tousled, his face unshaved. He’d pulled on his pants, but nothing else.

  He stood perfectly still, except for the rise and fall of his bare chest as he breathed. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and his brown eyes were guarded.

  He had secrets he wouldn’t share with her. But Jess had her own secrets, too. She wondered if he could see her secrets as clearly—shadowed mysteries and doubts lurking in her eyes.

  “I have to go,” he finally said.

  Jess took a step toward him. “I was hoping…with Kelsey at school…” She nervously moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and saw Rob’s eyes drop down to her mouth. A flare of desire on his face gave her courage to go on. She closed the gap between them, moving so she stood only inches in front of him. But no matter how close she got, all those secrets—his and hers—would still be between them, keeping them apart. Even if they made love, it would be make-believe, their intimacies not completely honest. Still, it didn’t make her want to give up that pretense of closeness. “I thought maybe we could make last night go on a little longer,” she said. “I thought we could give ourselves this morning.”

  Standing so close to him was intoxicating. With each breath, she could smell his rich, male scent. She wanted to press herself against him. She wanted to close her eyes and forget about all of the secrets.

  “I should be at work,” he told her.

  “Why?” she asked. “So you can type up a letter of resignation? Can’t that wait?”

  Their eyes met, and his were hot. Slowly, Jess untied her belt and slid her robe off her shoulders, just like last night. Rob’s eyes swept the smooth expanse of her body. With a hand, he reached out and cupped one full breast, his thumb caressing the dark nipple that peaked to a hard bud quickly at his touch.

  “I’m already late,” he said, his voice husky. “What difference is another few hours going to make…?”

  Jess closed her eyes, feeling his lips against hers, his arms around her. With her eyes still closed, she felt him lift her and carry her into the bedroom, placing her gently on the bed. At the sound of his zipper being pulled down, she sat up and watched him, wanting to remember the sight of his pants pushed off his muscular thighs, wanting to see the evidence of his desire for her.

  He covered himself and came to her, touching, kissing, caressing, and she pushed him back on the bed, kneeling over him. She could see the pulse in his neck, feel the rapid beating of his heart as he gazed up at her. Did he know that she was hiding her own secrets from him? Did it show in her eyes?

  Jess didn’t believe that Rob was a serial killer. How could she be here with him, make love to him this way if she thought he was? But why, then, didn’t she tell him about her visit from the FBI? Why didn’t she tell him that his connection to her automatically made him a suspect?

  His hands held her hips, moving her so he could enter her, but she pulled away. So much of her life seemed so crazily out of control, right now she wanted at least the illusion that she was in charge. Rob was going to leave, and when he did, he’d be able to walk away as quickly or as slowly as he wanted. Right now, she was going to set the pace.

  Last night, each time they’d made love, it had been with explosive, barely restrained passion. This morning they were going to take their time.

  She leaned across him, her lips, then her tongue, brushing the soft, round nipples in his muscular chest, making them spring to life at her touch. She could feel his erection against the softness of her stomach, pressing into her, seeking her.

  Her mouth moved up his neck, gently, lightly kissing him, and he growled, low in his throat. He took her hips in his hands again, but once more she stopped him.

  He looked up at her, and laughed, his smile still not hiding the sadness that never left his eyes. Despite the air-conditioning, sweat gleamed on his forehead, making his hair stick to his face. “You want to hear me beg, don’t you?” he whispered, catching his breath as she touched him most intimately.

  She smiled back at him. “It couldn’t hurt.”

  He pulled her to him, cupping her face in his hands, bringing her lips to his, kissing slowly, deeply, filling her mouth with his tongue.

  “Please,” he breathed, his lips against hers. “Please, Jess. I can’t wait another second….”

  She moved then, on top of him, but slowly, oh, so slowly. She set a rhythm that was languorous, then smiled at the look of intense pleasure on Rob’s face.

  Like the night before, Jess wouldn’t say the words, I love you. At least not aloud. But as their eyes met and locked, she was sure that he knew. And for those moments, all of the secrets between them vanished. Her heart merged with Rob’s as completely as their bodies were joined, and she knew without the shadow of a doubt that he loved her as she loved him.

  He pressed deeply up into her, filling her until they both cried out, their bodies racked with the turbulence of their release. Jess collapsed on Rob, and he clung to her, long after the rush of their pleasure had abated.

  With a long sigh, she pushed herself up. He looked at her in silence. She just watched his face, memorizing every little flicker of emotion that appeared. He waited, motionless, as if he, too, were trying to burn her face into his mind’s eye. Finally she spoke.

  “If you leave,” she said softly, but almost defiantly, “I’m going to haunt your dreams.”

  Rob closed his eyes, but not quickly enough to hide the pain that flashed there. When he looked back up at her, his brown eyes were filled with sorrow. “Oh, sweet,” he whispered. “You already do.”

  WITH A SCREECHING of its suspension system and a hiss of the air brakes, the school bus pulled up to the front of the house. Jess looked up from her guitar, bracing herself for Kelsey to come bursting through the front door, shouting that she was starving and sweating to death and could she have an ice pop, please?

  But Kelsey didn’t come inside. One minute passed, and then two, and Jess set down her guitar and went to the front door.

  It was a breezy day, and she had the air-conditioning off and the windows open. She looked through the screen door and saw Kelsey standing on the front lawn.

  Talking to FBI agent Parker Elliot.

  “Hey!” Jess said, her voice thick with indignation.

  Elliot looked up from where he was squatting next to Kelsey.

  Jess pushed open the screen door and came outside. “If you have any question
s for Kelsey, you have to ask them in front of me. Isn’t there some kind of law about that?”

  “We’re under certain time pressures, as I’m sure you can imagine,” Elliot said, standing up.

  “And that gives you the right to break the law?” Jess asked. She turned to Kelsey. “And you, young lady—have you forgotten our rule about talking to strangers?”

  “He said he met me at the Pelican Club,” Kelsey protested. “He said he wasn’t a stranger.”

  Jess shot the FBI agent an incredulous look. But Parker Elliot didn’t even have the good grace to look abashed.

  “Go inside the house,” Jess told Kelsey in a calm voice that belied the fact that her blood was boiling. “Get washed up, and get yourself a snack. I’ll be in, in a moment.”

  “I wanted to talk to you,” Elliot started, but Jess didn’t let him finish. As soon as the door closed behind Kelsey, she lit into him.

  “What could you have possibly been thinking?” she asked. “Don’t you know how important it is that a child learns to stay away from strangers? Kelsey does not need to think that just because she meets someone once, that he’s not a stranger—”

  “What was I thinking?” Elliot said, his lean face hard. “I was thinking maybe this little girl knows something or has seen something that can help me catch the sonuvabitch who’s been killing women in Sarasota for the past six months.”

  The serial killer.

  Since Rob left for work late this morning Jess hadn’t thought about much else besides Parker Elliot and his suspicions that the Sarasota Serial Killer was somehow linked to her. She stared at the FBI agent now, silenced by his vehemence.

  When he spoke again, his voice was softer. “I apologize for overstepping the boundaries,” he said.

  Jess nodded. “Apology accepted.” She turned to go inside.

  “Ms. Baxter.”

  Jess looked back at Elliot. He was wearing a dark blue business suit. Again, as it was yesterday, his hair was neatly combed, every lock perfectly in place. Dark glasses covered his eyes.