Nick's Baby

by Hestand, Rita

  "Thanks Nick. I won't need anything, but if you'd like to call from time to time, you can. I know we agreed on no contact, but it is your baby. And I can't in all consciousness keep everything to myself. I'm glad we have the contract behind us. But it wouldn't be fair not to share something with you Nick."

  Nick's throat tightened. There it was a contract, about his kid. It always came back to that, an iron-clad contract. The woman didn't deal in emotions. She needed a contract for everything. This was his kid. A kid he had vowed he'd never desert. Now he felt as though he deserted both Kelsey and the baby. "I'd like to come by, I mean. In the meantime, take care."

  Nick hung up wondering why he felt so suddenly lost. He was going to be a father and yet he'd never be there to enjoy it. Damn! What a fool he'd been. The rain coming down outside seemed to echo his dark feelings. A sound all of New York was probably celebrating again.

  When he got home from work late that night, he noticed as he pulled up that his house was dark, everyone was asleep. Somehow coming home would never be the same again. He felt as though he belonged somewhere else. But where?

  Sitting in his car, he watched the big drops of rain that splashed musically against the windshield in some offbeat tune. He listened for a long while, hoping the rain might soothe his overwrought nerves, like it usually did, but it didn't.

  Then it hit him. As though he suddenly had come in out of the dark, he had the spark of an idea. He banged his palm against his forehead and stared at himself in the rear view mirror.

  Suddenly jerking the transmission into drive once more and speeding off in the direction of Kelsey's apartment he cursed himself for not thinking of it sooner. He was a man with a mission. A mission he was sure Kelsey wouldn't like.

  Just like before, letting his anger ferment before he barged in on her, he sat quietly staring at the complex. He needed to think it through before he put his plan in motion. It could work. It had to.

  Minutes later, he stormed up the stairs to Kelsey's apartment door, as the housekeeper let him in with malevolent reluctance.

  "You again? Now see here, this isn't the time . . ."

  "No. It isn't, you are absolutely right about that Dorothy, but will you be a doll and put the coffee on. And I'm sorry I had to wake you. This is important though. I'll just let myself into her room. We'll be fine."

  "But you can't!"

  "Look, trust me, on this one, will ya?" Nick smiled, and turned the housekeeper on her way to the kitchen. He was winning points with Dorothy he saw that in her half smile.

  Nick didn't barge in this time; instead he crept up to the side of the bed, staring down at Kelsey. She was on her stomach, her hair was in her eyes, and her gown hunkered down over one shoulder. He feasted on her for a few seconds, letting the rush of adrenalin wash through him. He still wanted her, maybe more now than ever. His insides ached to hold her in his arms again, but on his terms, this time. Yes, he'd have to take control, whether she liked it or not, and he'd have to be strong and resist the temptation she offered so innocently.

  "Hey," Nick called to her softly, his voice lowering when his body refused to obey his mind.

  She didn't move.

  "Hey, babe," he called softly, scooting her body over so he could sit beside her on the bed.

  At first she just rolled over and piled the pillows around her head. But he slowly reached to uncover her head, and turned the small lamp on beside her bed.

  She whirled about, and nearly pounced on him, till her eyes opened and she realized who he was.

  "N-Nick?" She gathered the covers about her at first, then must have realized how silly it was and relaxed her hold on them.

  "Hello to you too," he smiled.

  Pulling the covers up slowly again, she adjusted her gown, and straightened her hair. She couldn't' possibly know how gorgeous she looked at this moment, Nick thought to himself, steeling his emotions.

  "What are you doing here, at this hour?" Her head nodded toward the bedside clock. It was twelve-thirty.

  "We've got to talk," He said not sure how far to take it at this moment.

  "Talk? Again, and at this hour?" She grabbed the clock by her bedside and shoved it in his face. "Do you know what time it is? Don't you ever talk during the day?"

  "Best time for talking is when things are clear in your head. Don't you think?"

  "Well, I'm certainly not clear in the head at the moment. Honestly Nick, don't you ever sleep?"

  "No, not much anymore. That's why I'm over here, instead of home in bed. Now, sit up and let's talk." He had her at an advantage and he knew it. He'd have to keep her this way if his plan was going to work.

  "I will not. Wait for me in the living room…"

  "Not this time. This will do just fine. I don't want any rehearsed speeches you might throw at me. I just want to sit and talk sensibly."

  "Sensibly, at this hour?" Her voice rose, her eyes burned into him. She must have realized he wasn't going to leave because she weakened almost instantly. "I'll need some coffee."

  "I'm sure Dorothy is already making some." Nick chuckled.

  "Would you at least hand me my robe?" She gestured for her closet.

  "No. You don't need one. Relax. I've seen you in less, remember?"

  She turned scarlet and he laughed aloud.

  "So what's on your mind?" She frowned, looking at him.

  "A lot. I've been doing some pretty heavy thinking as a matter of fact and there are some things still bothering me. I think we need to settle them." He tried to keep his mind on the issue, but every time her gown strap wandered so did his mind. He tried to keep his eyes glued to her face.

  "Things? What things?" She fumbled with her gown.

  "When I first approached you, you said you wanted a baby. You told me about your marriage, your divorce, and your losing Ralph's baby. But, it occurred to me that we haven't discussed a few things."

  "Such as."

  "Your qualifications."

  "My qual—"

  "Yes, your qualifications—as a mother." He smiled, enjoying the way her face turned such a bright red. She was instantly angry, as though he'd pushed some kind of button in her brain. Good. Angry people didn't always think straight, he was counting on that.

  "What's to qualify? I'm a woman, aren't I?"

  "That's not enough. Being a woman doesn't automatically make you good mother material, especially these days, when a woman assumes the role of a man in business. I can count on my hand a number of bad mothers in my old neighborhood. They were women too. I don't want that for my kid."

  "Nick—you're out of your mind. You can't possibly compare me to—to them." She sat up on her knees and looked at him.

  "Am I? And can't I? Actually, I think I'm thinking very clearly. You were an only child, rich, spoiled, those papers told me that much, even if I hadn't gotten to know you a little. You've always gotten your way about things, one way or another, as you have this time, too. Your parents weren't around much. You said so yourself. Bad examples. It's not your fault. You haven't had much family life. How could you possibly know how to handle a baby, by yourself? So, I've got some questions for you."

  She unfolded her feet now and let them dangle on the edge of the bed as she eyed him carefully. "What kind of questions?"

  "You want a job being a mother, don't you?"

  She nodded numbly.

  "Okay, so have you ever babysat?"

  "Well, no, but…"

  He shook his head, "Not good. Have you ever carried that kind of responsibility around with you? Do you know what the colic is, and how to treat it? Do you know how to change a diaper, when to burp it, lull it to sleep? The burping can be a real experience with a newborn. Mrs. Polasky's baby took nearly an hour sometimes and would cry all that time."

  He watched Kelsey's brow go up skeptically.

  "So you think you know when to take it to the doctor, and when to simply rock it to sleep. Do you know the measles from the mumps? There's a lot to learn about kids, Kels
ey."

  Kelsey's face turned white, then red, "Now see here. Who do you think you are? I'll learn all those things. Every new mother has to learn things. I'll adapt."

  "How? Who's going to teach you? How you gonna have time to adapt and work too? I bet you don't even know a lullaby."

  "I most certainly do!" She shouted, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him. "And if, I find it necessary, I'll take a class or something. But I'm sure I can manage just fine, thank you."

  "That's not good enough, for my kid." He saw her roll her eyes and her pert little nose go up an inch. He smiled with satisfaction. "Up 'til now, everything has been your way, hasn't it? You want a baby, so you hire a guy. A real dope of a guy. Because none of your high and mighty friends would be stupid enough to do something like this. Would they? No. But the truth is, you don't know one thing about being a mother, do you?"

  Turning her hands together in her lap, she hesitated. "Well—no, but, no one does till they experience it. I can read up on it. In fact, I've already bought a couple of books on the subject. I just haven't gotten around to studying them yet."

  "That's not good enough." He shook his head. "You told me the baby would be your first priority. Remember? That remains to be seen. Haven't read 'em yet, huh. You haven't gotten around to a lot of things. I'm afraid it isn't good enough, Kelsey."

  Dorothy arrived in time to serve them both coffee and leave with a strange look of compliance on her ruggedly handsome face.

  Kelsey welcomed the reprieve.

  Nick winked at Dorothy.

  Kelsey seemed to recognize the fact that Nick had already won over her housekeeper. "Now look Nick, I appreciate the fact that you are concerned about the baby. Really, it's touching. I'm actually very glad you are. It's commendable of you. But don't you think you are going a little overboard?"

  "Nope!" He took a sip of coffee and smiled. "Not in the least. I'm here to tell you to your face, that I'm going to teach you how to take care of the baby."

  "Well thanks loads, but I don't need your help. Besides, what makes you think you're such an expert?"

  "Nevertheless, you're gettin' it. And, no, maybe I'm not an expert, but I've taken care of Tony, and babysat quite a few in my neighborhood. I've been through colic, teething, and ear aches. Have you?"

  She shook her head.

  "It's no picnic. You don't get much sleep the first few months. Your nerves are on edge."

  "I'm sure it isn't but—."

  "You don't sound too happy about all of this, Kelsey. Is something wrong? I thought I'd find you on cloud nine. This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

  "No. I mean, yes, of course it is." Kelsey responded with a heavy sigh. "But you have a habit of storming me, of catching me unaware. I suppose I'm just a little tired. I've had a lot of morning sickness as I explained to you on the phone."

  Nick chuckled to himself. She wanted sympathy, and in truth, he did feel sorry for her. He could tell by the circles under her eyes she had been miserable, but he couldn't give in.

  "I'm sorry. Maybe working is too much for you. Maybe you should take some time off. You need to conserve your energy more."

  "Not just yet. The doctor said I'm healthy as a horse and should have no complications. Besides, working keeps my mind off feeling bad."

  "So you've gone to the doctor? I mean you have a confirmation."

  "Yes, I went today after I spoke with you on the phone. According to him, I'm two months pregnant. I'm healthy, the baby is fine and I'm taking vitamins."

  Taking vitamins? Why? Was she lacking something? Why did she have to take anything? Two months! Two months, not six weeks. He hadn't realized it had been that long since he'd touched her, smelled the lilacs, and tasted her creamy skin. And he was hungry for more of her right now, but this time he was going to be strong and resist her, and that probably would kill him, because keeping his hands off of Kelsey was the last thing he wanted to do.

  But there were other things to consider right now, and he had to keep that in his head.

  The baby would be due in February, if his calculation was right…even more months of waiting…of agony.

  "I came here tonight to tell you, I'm not giving this kid up, yet." Nick let those words settle into her brain. He was sure he'd here an explosion any minute.

  "You what?" Kelsey gasped.

  "That's right. Maybe never. I don't know. But I'm not putting out until I know you are capable of taking care of her."

  "But we had an agreement! And just what do you mean, capable?"

  "Agreements are meant to be broken. And yes, capable."

  Kelsey sat up straight suddenly, realizing Nick was serious.

  "I can sue you for breach of promise, you realize that don't you?"

  "Go ahead. At this point I don't care if I lose the garage or not. This is more important. I've thought this through Kelsey, and I'm not putting out. Not yet anyway. Take my garage, take everything I own. This is my kid too. I have a few rights left. I aim to see this thing done right, Kelsey. No half measures for my kid."

  When she said nothing but stared open mouthed at him, he smiled and asked, "So when can you start practicing with me?"

  "Practicing?" Her voice raised an octave. His words seemed to have stunned her. "What are you talking about?"

  "I'm talking about you learning to be a good mother."

  "To be a good mother?" She repeated dully. Her eyes blazed with pure fury. Kelsey stood up now, and paced the floor in front of him. It no longer mattered that she wasn't dressed properly. "I can't believe what I'm hearing."

  "I know, but we'll just have to start on a weekend, while you're not working."

  "You're serious?" She glared at him her anger flashing at him.

  "You thought I was joking?" He moved about her easily.

  "Nick—"

  "Saturday," He said standing and coming up close to her. He smelled the lilac. He inhaled slowly, savoring it for memory. "We'll start this Saturday, here." He announced, and suddenly pulled her into his arms, and kissed her fully on the lips. A kiss he would have liked to carry further, but didn't. Kelsey lips seemed to melt against his, despite her anger. But Nick wasn't wooing her. He broke the contact before it went too far. And he knew from her response, it could have gone a lot further. He liked that.

  She looked astonished.

  He had turned her loose and walked toward the door. "Don't forget, this Saturday, say twoish."

  And then he was gone, just as quickly as he had arrived.

  ~~~

  Later in the week, he came home early and found his mother watching his every move.

  "Nicky?" Mama's voice broke his reverie.

  "Yeah Mama?"

  "Your home so early. Is something wrong?" His mother eyed him with perception.

  How did she manage to pick up on his moods so easily? It was as if she had another sense that others didn't.

  "No Mama, nothing is wrong. I just didn't go to the garage today. How was your day?" He asked grabbing a cold biscuit from the back of the stove and sitting at the kitchen table as he watched her prepare supper. It was a ritual he'd never tire of.

  Although, he should be watching Kelsey prepare supper, his mind drifted as Mama went on and on about Mrs. Peabody. Nick listened with a third ear, as he glanced about the place and his mind wandered. Did Kelsey ever fix her own supper? Could she cook? She'd have to learn. Kids needed a good family atmosphere at mealtime, and nothing was as good as sitting around a table watching supper being prepared. He should know.

  "Do you think so, Nicky?"

  "Yes, Mama, of course." Nick answered, not knowing what he was agreeing with.

  "I think some girl has you tied in knots, Nicky." Mama said, turning away from him as she placed bacon in the skillet.

  "Girl?"

  "You have all the classic symptoms. You never hear me anymore. Never see me, either. You don't eat right. You work too much. Why don't you tell your Mama about it? You know I'm always here for you Nicky. Yo
u've always confided in me."

  Nick stood up, whirled his Mama around and stared at her, enjoying the peace in her face at last. Yes, this move had done wonders for her. Years of worry had been erased; she looked younger, more vibrant. For that he was glad.

  At least one responsibility was taken care of. And he was happy about that. He kissed her forehead. "I love you Mama, and I'd like to. I really would, but I'm afraid I can't, just yet. Maybe some other time."

  "Is it the O'Sullivan girl?"

  "Yes, I might as well admit that much to you or you'll bug me forever." He smiled at her.

  "My poor Nicky," she fretted, her eyes going serious as she patted him on the cheek. "You are in love, aren't you?"

  "Don't start, Mama—" That was all he needed his mother pairing him off with Kelsey when he needed to stay at a distance from her if this idea of his was going to work.

  "Start?" Her eyes danced as she moved about the kitchen in a lively step. "I'm not starting, as you put it. But it's written all over your face to read. Can I help it? I'm so happy for you Nicky. For you and for her."

  "No Mama, you can't ever help that vivid imagination of yours. So let's leave it for now."

  "But you always confide in me, Nicky." His Mama made a mock frown. "You know I like her. She's the first girl you've brought here that I really approve of. There's something about her. She will make fine children for you Nicky, I can see that much."

  "No more, Mama, please." Just the word, children had Nick's head spinning. If she only knew. "We'll have a long talk, soon. I promise." Nick begged her and strolled out of the kitchen and into the living room where Tina was helping Tony with his lessons.

  "Well, this is what I like to see. Big sister helping with homework. Nice, I like it." Nick smiled at the two of them as he eyed them with idle curiosity.

  "She's been helping me with my English so I can stay on the team, Nick." Tony beamed up at him, brushing a strand of his black hair from his face.

  Tina cast Nick a quick smirk, pretending an indifference she obviously didn't feel. "Well, someone has to see this kid gets off to the right start. I don't want everyone asking me if I'm related to the English flunky. Besides, we've got a chance at the pennant, for the first time in over five years they say, and Tony's irreplaceable on the team." Her voice beamed with pride.