by J. L. Paul
“Hello?”
“Hi, Isabella. It’s me, Jenny.”
“Oh, hi, Jenny. How are you?”
“Bored,” she sighed. “Kevin is golfing with Brad, as I’m sure you know, and I have nothing to do. I was wondering if you’d like to meet for lunch.”
Glancing at the already clean living room, I suddenly realized that the walls were closing in on me. I needed to get out of the house.
“Sure, that sounds good,” I said, a smile in my voice. “Where would you like to meet?”
***
I’d passed the little café several times but had never stopped. I was glad that Jenny had suggested it as we sat out at the umbrella-covered sidewalk table, chatting while we sipped sweet tea. Her lively eyes and excited chatter gave evidence that she was indeed lonely and greedy for a friend.
“So, the show last night was exciting, huh?” she asked.
I braced myself for further questioning from her. My heart stilled, wondering if her supposed boredom was a ruse or an excuse to meet with me and perhaps convince me to hook her up with the band again.
“It was,” I said. “Their new stuff was amazing.”
She paused as the waitress delivered our sandwiches. Thanking her, we watched as she zoomed off to check on her other customers.
“Bella,” she said, her eyes suddenly dark. She leaned over the table, dropping her tone. “Tell me that everything is all right. I was a little worried that Brad might have been mad.”
Forcing a smile, I patted her hand. “He was embarrassed because I didn’t tell him that I knew the band, but he wasn’t mad. We talked about it and after I explained, he understood.”
She nodded, although I don’t think she was totally convinced. “And, one of the band members was an old boyfriend – the old boyfriend that you were upset about during the show, right?”
It was no use lying. She’d already figured it out and was only seeking confirmation out of politeness. For a brief moment, I hesitated, worried that she’d mention this conversation to Kevin who would in turn inform Brad, but decided what the hell? Brad wasn’t a fool – he’d figure it out on his own if he was inclined.
“Yes,” I said, dropping my eyes to the wilting lettuce poking out of my sandwich. “Yes, I was involved with Jake during my senior year of high school and most of the following summer.”
She nodded, her lips set. She stirred the ice in her drink with the straw and released a long breath. “But you two broke up.”
I gazed at the sidewalk, watching as the people walked by, busy with their errands and not noticing us. I longed to be one of them – a person who had never met Jake Johnson and hadn’t had her heart ripped out by him.
“Yeah,” I said, fighting tears. “Things turned sour and we decided to split.”
Again she nodded and I waited for more questions but she seemed to sense my reluctance to talk about it and changed the subject. Instead, she asked me about the area and what there was to do. I relaxed as I talked about the little town and what it had to offer. Once we paid the bill, we left the café and walked to our cars.
“I appreciate you having lunch with me,” she said, slipping sunglasses over her eyes. “Like I said, I get bored and lonely. We don’t know anyone here.”
“Well, you know me,” I said with a smile. “And you can call any time.”
“Thank you,” she smiled. “I guess I’d better get home. We’re having dinner with George and Mildred tonight.”
“That sounds fun,” I teased.
She shrugged. “They’re nice people but they have such old fashioned views. George and Mildred raised Kevin when his parents died and they think of him as a son. They think that I should stay home and raise babies while Kevin works to support the family.”
I held my tongue. I didn’t want to criticize other people’s views.
“I don’t want to stay home, though,” she said, leaning against her car. “I like being out with people. I mean, we’re not even pregnant yet. We haven’t decided when we want to start our family.”
“So, you’re still not working full time?” I asked.
“No,” she said, sighing again. A slight breeze lifted the hair off her shoulders as she adjusted her sunglasses. “No, just a few hours a week and I’m so bored all the time.”
My eyes grew as I stepped closer. “Why don’t you volunteer at the Children’s Center? We can always use help and you can come in whenever you have time.”
“That would be great,” Jenny said. “What do I have to do?”
“Call me tomorrow and I’ll get the volunteer forms ready for you,” I said, excited by my idea. “The Board has to approve all volunteers – it’s a safety thing. But they meet on Thursday so we could present you this week.”
“Wonderful,” Jenny said. “I would love it. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “You may change your mind once you spend some time with the little darlings.”
Laughing, she squeezed my arm, making me wince. She didn’t notice, though, so I was spared the need to explain. “I love children. I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“Okay,” I said as I took a step back. I didn’t want her to touch the tender, bruised spots on my arms again. I wasn’t sure that I’d totally convinced her that Brad hadn’t been mad. I’d had to dress in a thin, three-quarter length sleeve t-shirt to hide the purple rings on my upper arms so I wouldn’t have to lie or make up some excuse. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
With a wave, I hurried to my car.
***
The next two weeks passed without incident. I’d managed to get Jenny approved for volunteering and she’d started coming in three times a week. She’d even confided in me that, although the children could be a handful, volunteering had filled in the boredom and loneliness in her life.
I was happy to have recruited her. The Children’s Center was something that I took great pride in. When I’d started, the place was struggling financially. But, with Brad’s influence over the Board and some imaginative programs of my invention, things were on the upswing. The Center not only housed preschool and kindergarten, but a full day care program as well. It also provided resources and information for single parents and struggling families.
The school year was dwindling as the long, Memorial Day weekend approached. I was busy with summer program registration and everything that went with it, such as food, activities, and proper staffing. I sat in my office the Wednesday before the long weekend, going over numbers, when Addy knocked on the door before peeking inside.
“Hi, Addy,” I said with a smile. That smile slipped when I noticed her pale, shocked face. “Is something the matter?”
“There are two people here to see you,” she said, her voice matching her stunned expression. “Can I send them in?”
“Sure,” I said, puzzled. Standing, I walked around my desk, curious to see what had Addy so rattled.
“Hey, Iz,” Nick Collins greeted with a smile, a rather subdued Ronnie Stone in his wake. “How’s it going?”
“Great,” I said as I hugged them both. “What brings you here?”
“Checking out preschools for Ronnie’s kid,” Nick said with a wink.
I had to blink several times to somehow get past that comment. “Ronnie, you have a kid?”
He grinned, a little sheepish. “Not yet but he’s due any day now.”
“Wow,” I said as I sank to the corner of my desk. I pointed at the chairs in front of me and the guys sat. “That’s cool.”
“It’s way cool,” Ronnie said, coming back to himself. “That’s part of the reason we’re taking time off this summer. I want to spend some time with the little dude. But man, is he going to be like those kids out there?”
I laughed. “If he’s anything like his father, he will be. So, who’s the lucky girl?”
“Her name is Carly and you’ll love her,” he said. “We were going to get married after the baby is born but we went ahead and got hitched a
few weeks ago.”
“Wow, congratulations, Ronnie. I’m very happy for you.”
“Me, too,” he said.
Clearing my throat, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Now, tell me why you’re really here and how you found me.”
“Geez, Iz, it wasn’t hard,” Nick said as he leaned back in his chair. “It’s not like you’re in the Witness Protection Program.”
“Yeah, we just looked you up on the Internet,” Ronnie said with a smirk.
Easy enough, I suppose. I did have a landline number at my apartment that was listed. And I was pretty sure I’d told them that I worked at a Children’s Center. Wouldn’t take a private investigator to find me.
“So, what’s up?” I asked.
Nick shrugged. “Memorial Weekend is upon us. Jake’s having a big bash. We’ll start on Saturday and end on Monday.”
Frowning, I did my best to appear nonplussed. “Do you think that’s wise for Jake to party like that? Didn’t he just get out of rehab?”
“He’s been out for awhile,” Ronnie said. “And he doesn’t drink. He’ll have drinks for those who want to drink but he won’t.”
I looked at Nick for confirmation. He nodded.
“You can even bring Brent,” Ronnie said.
“Brad,” I corrected.
“Him, too,” Ronnie grinned. “Come on, Iz. You never called us. We miss you.”
“Greta and Carly will be there,” Nick said. “Everyone wants to see you.”
My heart jumped at the chance but, although my bruises had healed, my mind wouldn’t forget the incident. “I’ll have to see what we have planned. Brad usually goes on a fishing trip that weekend with his father and I spend time with my family.”
Nick frowned, a groove appearing on his forehead. He got up and stood before me. “Sure, Iz. We understand. But just so you know, he worked hard to get better. And not for us. Not for Greta. Not even for his dad. He did it for you.”
A huge lump formed in my throat. I swallowed but it remained lodged. “He shouldn’t have done that. He should have gotten better for himself, not for me.”
“Yeah, right,” Ronnie said as he got up to kiss my cheek. “But when has anything or anyone come before you?”
I couldn’t reply.
Nick hugged me before walking to the door, Ronnie in his wake.
“We hope to see you there this weekend. It’ll be fun – like it used to be,” Nick said. “Take care, Iz.”
I nodded as they walked out the door.
Five
I fretted over Nick’s invitation for the next two days. I wanted to go but I didn’t know if I should chance it. Yes, Brad would be in Wisconsin, which would make it easier, but did I really want to lie?
No, I didn’t.
I didn’t want to be that person. I’d already lied to Brad about the whole Jake thing. But my heart was begging me to go. I could hang out with everyone Saturday and stay in a hotel that night. I could go home Sunday and pretend like everything was fine.
I paced my apartment, pondering what to do, when Brad knocked on the door. With a long breath, I strode across the living room to answer, allowing Brad to enter.
“Good evening, darling,” he said as he kissed my cheek. “Are you ready for dinner?”
“Yes, just let me grab my purse,” I said, heart pounding for no apparent reason. Maybe it was guilt over thinking about Jake.
I returned to the living room, purse over my shoulder, and smiled a faux smile. “Ready.”
He drove to his country club on the outskirts of town. Even though twilight had set in, the beautiful, manicured grounds were still somewhat visible due to the subtle landscape lighting. Neatly trimmed hedges and Rose of Sharon trees lined the drive and Wave Petunias filled baskets and beds. The clubhouse was lit up with soft, yellow lights, planters filled with fragrant Impatiens sat on the steps, offering color to the gray, brick building. Once we parked, I took Brad’s offered arm and walked with him up those steps, wishing I had a house of my own that I could tend to the yard and a flower garden.
Once you marry Brad, you’ll have that.
The thought caused a shiver to scurry up my spine. My desire for a home didn’t outweigh my reluctance to marry. I just wasn’t ready.
Soft piano music floated in the air as we strode across the plush carpeting to the dining room. Although the club was beautiful, I hated coming here. I didn’t like mingling with fake people who were more concerned with what you did for a living or how much money you made than real issues. None of them cared that the Children’s Center was flourishing – any donations were just a tax write-off.
Brad steered me toward a table where George and Mildred Tharpe sat and I was thrilled to see Jenny and Kevin sitting there, too. I waited impatiently for Brad to pull out my chair, glad that he’d chosen the one next to Jenny.
“Hey, Bella,” she said, looking lovely in her deep blue cocktail dress. “I’m so glad you could make it tonight.”
“Me, too,” I said, tugging on the skirt of my black dress. “I’m happy to see you.”
We all exchanged pleasantries as the waiter filled our drink orders – whiskey sour for Brad and a white wine for me.
The men talked business while the women sipped their drinks, waiting for the salads. All around us, the hum of polite conversation buzzed while suit-clad waiters carried trays from table to table.
I longed for something more lively. I yearned to sit in a pub full of laughing people, listening to a local cover band play popular hits. I wanted to see friends gathered in booths, commiserating about a rough week of work while sharing a pitcher of beer.
Finally, dinner was done – a rather painful event of more false back-slapping and bogus compliments. As the dessert cart made its rounds, I watched the six piece band set up their instruments, my mind immediately going back to Jake.
“So, Isabella, have you set a wedding date yet?” Mildred asked, her cheeks flushed from several glasses of wine.
“Not yet,” I said with a smile I didn’t feel. “We haven’t decided when we’d like to have the ceremony.”
Brad draped an arm over the back of my chair. “It won’t be long, though. I want to get a ring on her finger before she finds a younger man to whisk her away.”
George and Mildred chuckled at Brad’s stupid humor. I just pasted a smile on my face and ignored the pained look on Jenny’s.
“Oh, she would never find a more charming young man than you,” Mildred said. Her bold flirtations did nothing for me. I could actually care less. But, I knew I was expected to play along. So I did.
“That’s right,” I said as I placed a hand on Brad’s chest. “I’d never be able to find anyone more suited for me than Brad.”
Beside me, Jenny squirmed. Perhaps I’d revealed too much to her. Maybe I should have never told her about Jake. I didn’t need her adding fuel to a fire that I’d pretty much tamed.
When dessert was finished, the band started in on a slow, dreamy tune that reminded me of old black and white movies. George stood and offered a hand to his wife. Giggling like a teenager, she took it and followed her husband to the dance floor.
It was sweet watching them dance, looking so in love. I’d once thought that Jake and I would be the same way after being together our entire lives.
Boy, had I ever been wrong.
“Would you like to dance, darling?” Brad whispered in my ear.
“Yes,” I said with another of my award-wining fake smiles.
He led me to the floor, holding me properly, moving his body in time to the music. As we danced, my mind drifted back to Jake and the Fall Festival dance during my senior year of high school. He’d rescued me that weekend when my date backed out at the last minute, accompanying me to the dance.
“I think that we should set a date,” Brad said, his eyes scrutinizing my reaction, prying me out of my memories.
I had no choice at the moment but to concede. “Okay. We should sit down after the holiday and figure out when t
o do it.”
His smile widened as he held me a little closer. “I’m glad that you agree. I thought that after the little…mishap, that you might have second thoughts.”
I shook my head, my heart falling to my feet. I fixed my face in a happy expression. “I told you that I knew them long ago. We haven’t kept in touch. They’ve probably forgotten about me again.”
“Good,” he said as his gaze roamed the room. “Because this is where you belong. These are the people that you need to surround yourself. This is where you will blossom.”
I nodded, sham smile curling my lips. The entire time, as we danced among the wealthy and privileged, I plotted how I would get to Jake’s on Saturday. If I was going to truly marry Brad and live the rest of my life among these people, then I’d have one last slice of my former life. Then I’d give it up for good.
My heart sighed.
***
That Saturday, I drove to Jake’s house on the outskirts of Chicago. The lovely spring weather urged me to roll down the windows and enjoy the wind whistling through my loose hair.
As I grew closer to his place, my heart thumped in nervous anticipation. What would happen?
“Nothing,” I said as I turned into his drive and stopped at the gates. I pressed the buzzer.
“Yeah? Who is it?”
I wasn’t sure which one of the guys it was but I wasn’t about to let him get away with talking to me like that.
“This is a reporter from the local tabloid,” I said. “I was wondering what sort of party is going on and if Ronnie Stone is truly going commando.”
Corny, sure, but the guys always got my dorky humor.
Pause. Then, “who the hell is this?”
“Um, maybe you should install cameras. I hear all the drive-thrus have them these days.”
“Oh, hell, Iz, come on up,” the voice, who I thought was probably Ronnie, said.
The gates swung open, causing my heart to patter a nervous beat. I was about to be face-to-face with Jake again – without Brad.
