by J. L. Paul
I parked in front of the old pole barn and before I could open my door, I spotted Jake standing on the porch. My heart slammed into my ribcage in an effort to get to him.
I exited the car, shut the door, and leaned against it for support as a wry smile graced Jake’s lips.
“Nick said you might come,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m here,” I said in what I hoped was a nonchalant voice.
He stepped down one step. “Why’d you come?”
Pushing away from my car, I walked toward him. “Free food. You know I like to eat.”
His smirk widened into a smile as he took the next step. “Sure you didn’t come for the company?”
His musky scent filled my nostrils and I longed to fall into his arms. But I kept my composure as he continued down the steps.
“Maybe I did,” I whispered as he stopped right in front of me. My pulse pounded in my throat as I craned my neck to look into his eyes.
His face softened into I look I recognized from our happier times, making my eyes mist. He inched closer, reaching for my hand, as he opened his mouth to speak.
But I never got to hear what he had to say. Someone stepped onto the porch, breaking the magic.
“Jake, your dog took my shoe and chewed it up.”
He released a huffy breath as his head fell.
Glancing over his shoulder, I recognized the newcomer as the blonde from the show. And she was not happy.
Lifting his head, he rolled his eyes in that old, familiar way, and took my hand.
“Come on, Iz. I’ll show you around. It’s changed a bit since the last time you were here,” he said.
I attempted to jerk my hand out of his but was unsuccessful. “Don’t you think what’s-her-name with the chewed up shoe is going to be upset that you’re holding my hand?”
He shrugged, a grin toying with his lips. “Let her. She’s just a girl.”
Anger clouded my eyes as I put more effort into freeing my hand. “Just a girl? That’s kind of cruel, don’t you think?”
His hold tightened as that smile exploded into a smirk. “So? She knew the deal when she came here.”
“The deal?” I asked, outraged. “Meaning what? You’ll sleep with her but she shouldn’t expect anything more?”
“Something along those lines,” he said as he tried to lead me up the steps.
I wouldn’t budge. “So, what? You expect me to hang around here, watching you two make out or listening to you screw her?”
He turned to me, amusement dancing in his eyes. “She can sleep on the couch and you can room with me if you want. As a matter of fact, I’d prefer it.”
Anger turned everything inside of me red hot. I raised my free hand to slap him but he was expecting that and caught my wrist.
“You’re still so easy,” he said, grin widening at the shock in my eyes. “Easy to annoy, remember?”
“Jake, are you going to do anything about my shoe?” the girl asked, stomping a foot.
Eyes still on me, Jake answered. “I’ll buy you a new pair.”
He twined his fingers through mine as he pulled me up the steps. I stood before the irritated girl, unsure what to say to her.
“Cyndi, this is Iz, my ex,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Iz, Cyndi the dancer. Chill out about the shoe, Cyndi. I’ll take care of it. For now, I’m going to show Iz around.”
Without another word to the girl, he dragged me into the house, pointing out the differences in the living room. Not much had changed there except for new paint and a couple of art prints on the wall. We walked to the kitchen and Jake showed me the addition he’d added that contained a guest room and a bathroom.
“Nick’s crashing in that room for the time being,” Jake explained. “He just went through a messy divorce and doesn’t want to buy a place of his own yet. That’s his excuse, anyway. I think he’s just trying to babysit me.”
“Nick was married?” I asked.
“Iz,” he sighed, clicking his tongue. “Keep up, huh?”
I didn’t say a word. I was still ashamed that I hadn’t kept up with what was going on in their lives. Some friend I was.
He yanked me down the basement steps to show off the finished rec room complete with a bar, pool table, and huge flat screen TV.
“This is great,” I said, admiring the black and white photos on the wall. They were mostly of the band but there were quite a few with Greta and who I assumed must be Ronnie’s new wife. And a couple of old ones with me and Jake, wrapped in each other’s arms.
“Greta wasn’t sure if she should put those up,” Jake whispered as he walked up behind me. I couldn’t resist the urge to lean into him as I stared at a picture of him and I on the dock behind this house. How happy we’d been. “But I told her that I wanted them. I wanted to always have you here, as part of my life, no matter what.”
“Oh, Jake,” I whispered as his arms wrapped around my waist.
“You’re staying with me this weekend, huh?”
“I’m staying in a hotel,” I said, although I knew if he persisted, I’d relent.
“You can stay in the guest room, Iz,” he said, his mouth so close to my ear. “You don’t have to stay in a hotel. I promise that I’ll be good.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I protested rather weakly.
“Of course it’s not,” he said. “But we both want you to stay here.”
He was very right so I didn’t argue. I’d worry about it later. For now, I was going to enjoy being with my friends again.
“Let’s go out to the deck,” he said, withdrawing his arms, leaving me cold. “Everyone is out there and will want to see you.”
“Okay,” I said. I wanted to see them, too.
“I’ll show you the music room and the weight room later,” he said, pointing at a closed door.
As soon as we stepped onto the deck, which had expanded since I’d last been there –lining the entire length of the house with a walkway stretching to a tiny dock in the little lake – my eyes burned with tears that I vowed to keep from falling. Everyone was there, sitting around, sipping water, beer, or lemonade. It was almost like I’d never disappeared from their lives. The only difference was Cyndi and an unfamiliar brunette with a sweet face and a swollen belly.
“Iz!” Ronnie exclaimed as he bounded across the deck toward me. In true Ronnie fashion, he lifted me off my feet in a bone-crushing hug. “I knew you’d come!”
“Thanks, Ronnie,” I gasped as he set me on my feet. I greeted Matt, Nick, and Greta in a more subdued manner while Ronnie rolled on the balls of his feet.
“Come here,” Ronnie said, taking me by the hand. He led me to the brunette who struggled to her feet. “This is my bride, Carly.”
She smiled so brightly her entire face lit up. “Hi, Iz. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, as I shook her hand. “And congratulations. When are you due?”
“July,” she said. “But that feels like an eternity.”
“I bet,” I said.
I looked around, trying to spot Matt’s wife. There were no other strange women, well, besides Cyndi who was still pouting over Jake’s lack of concern for her shoe.
Jake had taken his place by the grill with Greta right beside him.
“Matt,” I said, brow furrowed. “I know you got married. Where’s your wife?”
Everyone exchanged amused glances, making me feel a little stupid. What was the joke?
Then, all eyes turned to the grill. My eyes widened.
“Hang on,” I said. “You married Greta?”
Greta held up her left hand, wiggling her fingers and making the large diamond on her finger sparkle in the sun. “He sure did.”
“Wow,” I said as my gaze landed on Jake. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Sure,” he said with a shrug as he dropped hamburger patties on the grill. “He took care of her when I couldn’t. I knew I could trust h
im.”
“But,” I said, still grappling with this new information. “The business card you gave me had Johnson as your last name.”
“Yeah,” she said with a wave. “I had those printed before Matt and I married. I rarely hand them out so I haven’t had new ones made yet.”
“Well, this is really cool,” I said as a black mass of fur charged onto the deck, stopping before me to drop a tennis ball at my feet. “BK! Look at you, you crazy mutt!”
I patted the dog, bending over him and taking the chance to regain some composure. Although everything looked like old times, things had changed.
After gorging on burgers, everyone sat outside in the pleasant air, talking and drinking – except for Jake. He’d started with water and later switched to soda.
I lounged in a comfortable chair, sipping on a soda, listening to the conversation around me. It felt normal and right. I was more in place here than I’d ever been at Brad’s snobby country club.
But as the night grew older, Cyndi consumed more than her fair share of drinks. With courage from the bottle, she climbed into Jake’s lap, toying with his hair, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
Having decided earlier that I would stay at Jake’s – I didn’t want to chance Brad somehow finding out that I’d rented a hotel room in this area for the night – I excused myself to fetch my bag. Nick jumped out of his seat, offering to show me to the guest room, knowing all along that I was aware of where it was.
“Don’t pay them any attention, Iz,” he said after I’d retrieved my bag. He walked beside me up the stairs and to the room across from Jake’s. “Cyndi is threatened by you but Jake won’t put up with it.”
“It’s fine, Nick,” I said, lying through my teeth. “We aren’t together any longer and he has every right to be with whatever girl he wants.”
“Maybe so,” he said as I opened the door and tossed the bag on the bed. “But Jake won’t tolerate her acting that way in front of you. He doesn’t want you hurt or upset.”
My heart quivered but I ignored it. “I know he doesn’t. I know Jake’s not the type of person to flaunt something in anyone’s face. I respect that about him. But this is his home and he has every right to do what he wants. I’m just tired, that’s all. I’ll see you in the morning, right?”
“Yep,” he said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “Get some sleep, Iz. I’m really glad you’re here.”
He left, shutting the door behind him. I sank to the bed, taking deep breaths, wondering if I would truly be able to sleep knowing Jake was right across the hall.
And not alone.
Six
I tossed and turned most of the night, unable to sleep as my mind constantly played scenario after scenario of what might be happening across the hall. Finally, shortly before dawn, I crept out of bed and sat in the window seat overlooking the front of the property.
The moon was beginning to dim as I opened the window and the crickets had given up their nightly concert. The cool air drifted into the room, lulling my fuzzy mind into old memories.
“Jake, Iz and I need to talk to you,” Nick said, as we sat at the table.
I could hardly look at Jake. How he’d changed in such a short time. His once vibrant eyes were dull and bloodshot, his skin a sickly pale.
“What’s up?” he asked, slumping in his chair. His hair was getting long and shaggy, his clothes a mess. “Wait, let me guess. You two are eloping or something.”
His laugh was hollow and void of humor. It cut me deep.
“Jake, you’ve changed,” I said, my voice hoarse. “And it’s not good.”
“Angel, we can’t stay young and immature forever,” he said, lifting a brow.
“Jake, man,” Nick said, desperation leaking into his voice. “What are you using and how bad is it?”
He chuckled as he attempted to straighten. “What makes you think I’m using? Do you really think I’m that stupid?”
My heart cringed to see him so reckless about something so serious. I bowed my head to hide my tears.
“Come on, man, don’t lie to us. We want to help you,” Nick pleaded. “We love you, man.”
Leaning back in his chair, he held up his hands. “Nothing. Not a damn thing. Want to check me for track marks?”
“Do I need to?” Nick shot back.
“If you feel the need,” Jake said, shooting a wink in my direction. “But I think my woman would have noticed by now.”
I reached across the table for him and he let a hand fall on top of mine. “Jake, please let us help you.”
“Is it crack? Coke? Heroin?” Nick persisted.
Jake kept his eyes on me, ignoring Nick, as he got up and walked around the table. Pulling me into his arms, he kissed the top of my head.
“I love you, Iz,” he whispered before turning to Nick. “It’s nothing man. Not a thing. Don’t worry yourself.”
He released me to stomp down the basement steps, leaving Nick and I to exchange worried, defeated glances.
The memory movie stopped as I realized that the sun was peeking over the horizon. Gathering some clean clothes, I tiptoed out of the room and to the bathroom to shower.
When I walked down the stairs, eager to find coffee, I was surprised to see Greta in the kitchen.
“Hey, when did you get here?” I asked.
Turning to smile, she pointed at the coffee maker. “Want a cup? I’ll pour us each one and then I’ll tell you.”
“Sure,” I said.
Once we both had steaming mugs of caffeine in front of us, Greta’s smile widened.
“Well, I sent Matt home last night, telling him that I wanted to stay in case you needed a shoulder,” she explained. “I was lucky enough to get front row seats to the blowout between Jake and Cyndi.”
“Blowout,” I asked, cup halfway to my mouth.
“Yep,” she said, positively gleeful. “He was pissed because she was all over him in front of you. She accused him of still having feelings for you which he didn’t deny. He told her she was just using him for his fame and his money which pissed her off. She stormed out of the house, yelling at him that he still owed her a pair of shoes, and then left.”
“Wow,” I said, sipping my coffee. “I’m really glad I missed that.”
“I kind of wished I’d had,” she shrugged. “But whatever. He was right. She was just using him. But to be honest, I think he didn’t care. He hasn’t gotten close to anyone since you left.”
I let the comment slid, not wanting to add any hope to what was already in her heart. My situation wasn’t something I cared to talk about.
“So, tell me about you and Matt,” I said.
Her smile widened. “I’ve always had a crush on him but I don’t think he ever saw me as anything more than Jake’s little sister. But when Jake got really bad, Matt was there for me. He would sit with me some nights and just let me cry. Ronnie was trying to deal with the band and the record company while Nick was trying to deal with Jake. Matt stepped in to help me out.”
“I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that,” I said. “But I’m glad Matt was there for you.”
“I know,” she said, patting my hand. “When Jake finally went into rehab, Matt admitted that he had feelings for me. We dated a little, but it was totally innocent. He said he didn’t want to let things go very far with Jake not in his right mind. He wanted Jake’s approval.”
I nodded. It was just so Matt.
“When Jake got out, Matt sat down and talked to him. Jake was actually happy. He said there was no one in the world that he’d rather see with his sister than Matt.”
“How long have you been married?” I asked.
“Only a few months,” she said. “I wanted Jake to be a part of it so we waited until he was strong enough. He walked me down the aisle.”
“Aw,” I said, touched. “Greta, I am so happy for you. And I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here for you when you needed me.”
“Iz, don’t be sorry,” she s
aid. “It was very important for you to leave. If you wouldn’t have, you would not have gotten on with your life.”
“I suppose,” I muttered.
“Don’t suppose,” Greta said, firm. “It’s the truth.”
“What’s the truth?”
Both of us looked up to see Jake stumble into the kitchen, his hair in disarray.
“We were just chatting,” Greta said.
“Um, hm,” he said as he helped himself to coffee. “Imagine that. Did you tell her about Cyndi? Don’t deny that you know because I’m sure you were listening to the whole thing.”
“Of course I was,” Greta said. “If that bitch would have started anything then I would have had to step in.”
Jake grinned as he leaned against the counter. “My sister, the boxer.”
I only smiled. It was so nice to see them like this. It reminded me of Seth before our big argument.
“So, Greta, did Matt leave you a car or do I have to go wake up Nick?” he asked. “I need to run to the store and I can’t haul everything on my bike.”
“Matt took the car,” she said. “Wake up Sleeping Beauty.”
“Where’s your Mustang?” I asked.
Jake lifted his cup to his lips.
“He totaled it,” Greta said, narrowing her eyes in her brother’s direction. “Drunk.”
“Jake,” I sighed.
“Hey,” he said, setting his cup on the counter to lift his hands. “It was stupid, I know. I haven’t gotten around to replacing it yet. Nick’s been staying here since I got out of rehab so he drives me around unless I get on the bike.”
Shaking my head, I turned to Greta, but she was still staring at Jake with a soft, grateful expression on her face. I read her like a book – she was mad at him for his recklessness but so happy he was still around.
“Guess I’ll have to go wake up the beast,” he said as he strolled out of the room and to the new addition.
“So, what’s this about Nick and divorce?” I asked Greta.
Grunting, she rolled her eyes. “She’s another Cyndi. She just basically used Nick and he let her. He was devastated by Jake’s addiction so he hung on to her like she was a prize. He later found out that she, too, used but wasn’t nearly as bad as Jake.”
