Four Page Letter: New Year Bae-Solutions

by Seals, Angela

  I tried not to smile, but the way he was describing my ass was turning me on. I still stood my stance, arms folded against his chest and lip poked out. “Ugh, you nasty.”

  He chuckled. “You know you can’t be mad at me for long.” He kissed my bottom lip. “You going to come all this way and be mad the entire time?”

  He made a good point. I didn’t come all this way to be mad, I came all this way to see my man and get some good dick. I made a mental note to talk about Pocahontas’ ass later. “You can show me how it went down in your dream,” I teased. “I bought that favorite nightie you like.”

  He lifted me over his shoulder. “Let’s get you in it.” He laughed, while marching down the hall, smacking my ass.

  &

  Dale

  I was happy to see my baby standing in the doorway. Her smiling face ceased when she saw Jamie. Truth was, Jamie was just a friend, who I knew liked me in other ways. A man knows when a woman wants to be more than friends. That’s why I always brought our conversations to Eve and I, reminding her I had a girlfriend back home and she was the center of my world.

  “Oooo,” Eve moaned underneath me as I stroked her from behind. I was an ass man, and the feel of it against my hands always did something to my libido. This woman had rocked with me through my darkest times, and not only that but remained faithful to me while I pursued my career. I think that was a rare attribute to find in most women nowadays. Those thoughts made my dick get harder.

  “Pleeaese don’t come,” she begged me, while gripping my thighs.

  It was hard for me to hold my seed; I’d been waiting so long to feel her warmth wrapped around my dick. She was soooo tight that the thought of busting inside of her made me moan out loud.

  “Oh, oh,” I yelled, tugging on Eve’s hair.

  She let out a scream, and I’m sure my Korean neighbors heard her from across the street. We collapsed onto the bed, both of us breathing hard, trying to capture our breaths.

  Eve tucked her head under my armpit, while my eyes ran the length of her butterscotch legs, that seemed to go on forever. Her ample breasts stood perky and ready for sucking. My eyes slowly drifted to her full lips. They were slightly swollen from being thoroughly kissed minutes ago.

  She peered up at me. “What are you looking at?”

  “You,” I simply replied.

  “Round two?” she asked.

  I grinned. “I thought you would never ask.”

  &

  Time. That was what I wished Eve and I had. Two weeks was not long enough to spend with my babe. When I finished up at the orphanage, our evenings and weekends consisted of us sleeping and then fucking. We watched YouTube movies and scrolled through Facebook to watch The Red Table. We argued about Jamie and then we had sex again. We went out to the movies, shops, and clubs. We toasted in the New Year with a few teachers from my school. We rode bikes and laughed a lot, she cried at Hallmark movies. Oh, how I hated watching those sappy romances.

  We talked about her cousin, Quinn, and how she was so gracious that she bought her a plane ticket. We talked about our months apart and the possibility of me coming home to stay permanently in a year or two. The only thing that rooted me to Chicago was my mom, sister, and Eve. I had nothing left there, and the possibility of Eve moving to Korea seemed impossible. What would she do here? Would she be happy? Too many unanswered questions that I was afraid to ask.

  Now we stood outside the airport saying our good-byes. “I’ll miss you,” she uttered in my ear. I held her tighter as she kissed my neck. “Make sure you stay away from Pocahontas,” she said jokingly. However, I knew she wasn’t joking. Jaime was a problem for her and that didn’t sit well with me. I was big on trust.

  “You have to trust me, Eve. She’s just a friend,” I reminded her for the hundredth time since she’d been here.

  “Uh uh, trust is earned.”

  I frowned. “Have I ever given you a reason you can’t trust me?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I’d rather not get into this now, Dale. I’m leaving and all I want to do is think happy thoughts.”

  I agreed, knowing this conversation was far from over. I kissed her, and we both moaned at the same time. We were feeling that connection that linked us together every time.

  Pulling back from the kiss, she stared into my eyes as if there was more, she wanted to say. Or was it that there was more I wanted to say? Either way, neither of us said anything. I handed over her duffle bag, and she turned and strolled through the gates.

  A heavy sadness came over me at that moment. It was the same feeling of loss I felt when my grandfather died. The only question I had now was why did I feel that way about seeing Eve walk away? As if I would never see her again.

  Chapter Four

  The Argument …

  December 29, 2019

  Dale

  Dear Dale,

  As I wrote in my letter last month, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come to town this year. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I know you have family here, so maybe I should say I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other anymore. I didn’t like how we left things when I was in Korea last year. As you probably noticed over the past months my letters to you have been few. I can’t bring myself to be a fool again. You know I have trust issues from my past relationships, and I tried not to bring them into our relationship, but you opened the door. If Jamie was just a friend, why didn’t you tell me about her in any of your letters? You were quick to talk about all your male friends and even mentioned the teacher, Justine, that works across the hall from you. But nothing about Jamie. … now is that a coincidence or what? You claim I keep beating a dead horse but, in my heart, I know that woman wants more from you.

  I can’t deal with a liar or a man who refuses to tell me the truth. I’ve been nothing but honest with you about all areas of my life. Every man I have been with cheated on me. You know this, and yet you still refuse to be honest with me. What do I do with that? Where do we go from here? For me, I can let it end here. We knew this long-distance thing would be hard and I was up for the challenge, but you weren’t.

  A wise man once said, you should know when the ride is over. This is where I’m getting off, Dale. I can no longer ride this wave. I love you, but I love me more. I know we never expressed our feelings toward one another, and in some ways, I think that’s another issue I have. I’m known to move quick in relationships, but I think I’ve given this one ample time to progress into something more. Yet, you have not expressed how you feel about me. I’m not trying to pressure you into something or make you say something you don’t feel, but it’s a problem for me.

  So, that’s why I’m letting you go, us go, and the love I have for you go. I can’t compete with another chick, and especially a broad who you refused to talk about. Maybe I’m letting my insecurities get the best of me. Hell, who knows, I’m tired of trying to figure it out. I hope you get everything your heart desires.

  Love,

  Eve

  I had just arrived at my mom’s house moments ago, and this letter from Eve was placed on top of the stack of mail left for me. I scratched my forehead, as I sat the letter down on the white countertop. I was so confused on what just happened. “Did she just break up with me?” I asked to no one in particular.

  “What did you say?” Dedra asked, stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup on the stove.

  “And she loves me?” I frowned.

  “What?” Dedra asked again.

  I shook my head. “I think I’m going crazy,” I said more to myself.

  “Are you talking to me?”

  “No … I mean, yes. Shit, I don’t know, Dedra. Eve just fucked my head all the way up.”

  “Damn, I can tell,” she said, coming out from behind the counter. “Bro, you were focused on whatever you were reading for a while. It looked like you were reading a long letter, but you were staring at that one-page paper for at least an hour.”

  “She still tripping on
that Jamie shit.”

  “I thought you took care of that, boy.”

  “Shit, I thought I did, but she wouldn’t let up, and after a while I just told her to believe what she wanted to.”

  Dedra threw a wooden spoon at my head. “Ouch, what did you do that for?”

  “Because you’re stupid! That’s the last thing you say to a woman who has trust issues.”

  I rubbed my head where the spoon hit me. I had told my sister everything about the continued arguments between Eve and I. She wanted me to say what she wanted me to say. I told her the truth and that wasn’t good enough. She was making me suffer for another man’s wrongs. I begged her numerous times to let me make my own bed and not her make mine for me. I’d never cheated on a woman and I didn’t cheat on her.

  “I haven’t given her any reason on not to trust me,” I confessed to my sister. “And her trust issues are something she has to deal with. She can’t project them on to me.”

  “Y’all men are stupid,” Dedra stated. “You have to make her feel comfortable in you and what y’all have together. See, Jamie is a threat, and you responded just like a typical male. ‘I’m with you, not her’.” She tried to imitate my voice.

  “Whatever, I don’t even sound like that.”

  “Uh huh. So I guess you’re not going to do that one thing? You know Momma has been looking forward to it since you told her about it last year.”

  I knew what Dedra was referring to. I was all set to do it, but now the rules had changed, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I never understood how women controlled the flow of a relationship. They decided when it started, when it ended, and who did the breaking up. That was just too much power for one person to have. But this relationship right here, I wasn’t prepared for it to end. I didn’t quite see it coming. However, I knew sooner or later Eve would want more from me.

  The truth of the matter was I loved Eve with every bone in my body. I loved her more than any woman I’d ever dated. Yet, I didn’t want to tell her in our letters, and on FaceTime just didn’t seem like the right way to tell a person for the first time. Arrogance was the reason I was here now. Foolishness was the reason I was probably never going to get a chance to tell her how I felt.

  “Dale,” Dedra yelled from the recliner chair.

  “I’m sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. Let me go figure this all out,” I replied.

  “Don’t take too long,” she suggested. “You can’t let too much time pass on stuff like this.”

  Nodding, I trudged off to my room, located at the back of the house. After closing the door, I reached inside of my rollaway bag laying open on the floor and retrieved the square, velvet box. I opened it, and the four-carat ring shone bright at me. A flash of myself getting on one knee was something I always wanted to do once. I would dream about this moment but could never see the woman’s face until now. Her face was as clear as the silver moon. I hadn’t been sure about much in my life, but this step I was sure of.

  Even my mother was ecstatic about my decision, and Dedra felt like I was an idiot for not putting a ring on Eve’s finger sooner. But a man had to do this on his own time and not other’s. Deep down I wanted it to be the right time for me. I only could hope this was the right time for Eve. However, I wasn’t entirely sure. Lately, I hadn’t even been sure about myself. My heart was having a fist fight with my mind. I thought things out before I acted upon them. I only could do this once. I didn’t think my heart could take the rejection. I dropped my head in my hands as the revelation hit me hard. That there would never be anyone else for me but her.

  &

  Reflection …

  Present Day

  Eve

  It’s four days before NYE and our yearly letters have stopped. Did I freaking imagine it all? Did those hot, winter nights we shared together mean nothing to him? This can’t be it! I thought, while slowly sliding my way toward the foyer of my home as my pink slippers dragged across the hardwood floors. Opening the white screen door that led to the front porch made an annoying squeaky noise, alerting me that maybe I’d rattled this door too many times today.

  Shivering, I gathered the collar of my robe around my neck to knock off the chill of the brisk Chicago winter. I said a silent prayer as I reached my hand in the black mailbox mounted on the side of the house and pulled out a sales paper. My eyes fluttered shut briefly, as my shoulders slumped forward at the sudden heartache that came over me. Dropping the paper back inside of the box, I literally wanted to burst into a flood of tears.

  I’m sure to anyone I knew I looked pathetic, but I didn’t give a damn. When it came to the matters of the heart, there was no rule book to tell you how to feel or how to act when a man cut you off or when you cut them off. Maybe I should see a therapist? Naw, I ain’t that fucked up yet!

  “Eve!” someone yelled in the distance.

  I lifted my squinted eyes toward the female voice, and from behind a black car out popped the last person I expected to see. My crazy ass cousin, Quinn Jacobs-Wolfe, with her husband, Paxton, in tow.

  “Hey, cuzo,” she screamed, while swaying to the side from the heavy bag hanging from her shoulder.

  “Oh my God! Quinn, what are you doing here?” I asked, surprised.

  She reached the front porch and embraced me in a long, tight hug. “I came to see my favorite cousin.” She huffed. “You sounded so sad on the phone, and I hopped on the first plane out here to cheer you up.”

  I pulled back from the hug. “Where are your kids?”

  She chuckled. “Girl, I left the twins with my mother, and Pax and I hightailed it out of town. I told him we had to check on you. So, guess what?” she squealed. “We’re all yours for the weekend.”

  Pax marched up the steps and said, “Hey, Eve, we’re sorry to intrude, but Quinn wasn’t going to be happy for the holidays until she saw you were okay.”

  I smiled. Pax looked and sounded like he did not want to come but came anyway because he loved his wife. The thought made me want to cry again. When I wrote that letter to Dale last year, I expected him to be on my doorstep, confessing his love and begging me to give him another chance.

  Instead, he stopped writing and the calls ceased as well. I heard from his mother a few times; she called to check on me, and I did the same. Neither one of us mentioned her son in our conversations. We talked as if he didn’t exist. That made me think he was really done with me. Maybe I blew that Jamie situation up more than I needed to. I guess that’s what I always did—ruined the good things in my life.

  Pax slid passed me carrying two oversized suitcases, and my eyes bulged outward at the sudden realization that I would be dealing with Quinn for a full weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my cousin, but the girl was missing a few screws upstairs. My mother used to say that Quinn and I together were double trouble. And I figured her time here should be for the good, but the sick feeling in my stomach was telling me that Quinn was going to get me tangled up in something I’d rather not be in.

  “Girl, you should have called first,” I said, stepping aside, as Pax pulled the luggage farther into the house.

  “No time,” she tossed back and flopped down on my bean bag. “If I had called, you would’ve said don’t come.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “Right, so that’s why I didn’t call. You need me.”

  She said I needed her, like I was a charity case, and she was my guardian angel, whisking in to save the day. Folding my arms, I scratched the crown of my head beneath my bonnet and angled my head to the side as I asked, “How do you think I need you?”

  She sat forward. “For one, I just saw your ass check that mailbox again, and remember on the phone you told me you check it several times a day? That’s not normal.” She pointed her index finger at me. “The mailman only runs once a day.” I gave her the side eye. “And secondly, I’m here to help you get your man back from that hussy.”

  I snickered. “Hussy! Who are you talking about?”

  Pax rai
sed his hand. “I’m going to go out and grab a pizza for dinner.”

  I nodded, knowing Pax would rather be anywhere else than here, listening to Quinn and I argue about my love life and her interference.

  Quinn crossed her legs. “Okay, babe.”

  When we heard the door close, Quinn added, “I have a little knowledge when it comes to men.”

  I twisted my lips, remembering there was a time when Quinn was all around town misinterpreting men’s feelings for her. I was so happy when Pax came along and got her head out of the clouds, but even happier when she stopped buying those stupid Cosmo magazines. I could’ve done a church dance, but I decided to indulge in her delusional nonsense. “Do tell,” I prompted.

  “First, we’re going to get you out of that dusty ass robe.” She scrunched her face and asked, “Have you even showered?”

  Rolling my eyes downward to my unmanicured nails, I popped my mouth and sniffed my armpits under my robe. Crinkling my nose, I noticed the stench was a little overwhelming. “Maybe or maybe not.”

  She stood and gripped my wrist, pulling me down the hall toward my bedroom.

  I stumbled over my feet in protest. “Stop! What are you doing?”

  “Look a here, chile,” she yelped, discarding me on my queen size bed. “I’m going to give you the inside scoop.”

  I folded my legs underneath me and propped my elbows on my thighs, waiting for Quinn to spit this knowledge she so called had. “Do tell, hunny.”

  “So,” she started, “it must be another woman occupying his time and space if he stopped writing and calling. All you have to do is show him you’re the better choice.”

  I didn’t tell Quinn about Jaime, so for her to say that’s the only reason a man wouldn’t be calling or writing was making my stomach hurt. To picture him and Jaime together made me want to vomit. What if he was kissing her the way he kissed me? What if he stroked her the way he did me? I gagged.