by Y. A. Love
I don’t answer. Things aren’t going the way I planned. Never in a million years did I think he would fight off my kisses. I become more insistent.
And change tactics.
Seductive, Brandy, I remind myself.
As I run my fingers through his awesome hair, I see his eyes go dreamy. Like this is a dream come true for him or something. (Ha!) (Sooo not gay!) I can work with this. Slowly, slowly I bring his hesitant face down, drawing his mouth near mine, then—wham! I crash my lips on his. I feel his intake of breath and his heart speed up and his hungry mouth give in to mine, surrendering. For a glorious moment he’s kissing me back yummily. But only for a second. Then he makes a tortured groan noise and drags his awesome mouth from mine.
“Bandy, I can’t do this. I want to—bad. But you’re drunk.”
I pout. “Only a little. It’s Mallory’s fault,” I explain to him inanely. “She gave me this fruity drink because she said I’m uptight. So she gave me a drink to relax me when she let me borrow clothes she said you would like.”
I tilt my head up at him. “Do you like them?”
He peeks down at me a second, then nods slowly, his eyes looking hungry. “I do. Yeah,” he murmurs.
Then he squints at me. “Wait—you’re dressed like this for me?”
“Uh-huh.”
While he looks stunned, I start kissing him again. This time he doesn’t keep me at arm’s length. Instead, he tangles his hands in my hair, kissing me back with fervent passion, sending me into a furnace of heat.
Holy smokes!!!
I’m on fire.
And in heaven.
He edges me towards the bed.
CHAPTER 21
I wake up confused, my head throbbing. Great, I’m sick.
I crack my eyes open (ouch!!).
Whoa!! Where am I?? I blink and gaze around the room. Weird. Seriously, where am I???
I have no idea.
The sun is peeking through the curtains of the windows, sooo … at least I know that—it’s not night. That’s the only clue I have about … anything.
I rub my eyes, trying to form a coherent thought.
Then—wham!
My heart slams against my chest. Hard. ‘Cause it dawns on me, I’m freakin’ naked!!!!
Oh my gosh!!! What is going on?
I scramble out of the bed, and quickly throw on the dress laying in a heap on the floor, starting to piece things together. Mallory had loaned me this dress, and she’d given me a drink, and led me here—to this room, and—and I was kissing Garrett all passionate, and his hands were in my hair—and—and—
Nothing.
That’s all I remember.
I’d been with Garrett, kissing him—
And now it’s morning, and I’m naked!!!
My heart ricochets off my ribcage, ‘cause I hear someone on the phone in the attached bathroom. Oh my gosh!! It’s a guy’s voice.
My heart thumps wild.
I was laying here naked, and there’s a guy??!!
I want to just dash out of the room—disappear—forever. But I have to see who it is. Who was here with me.
I swallow. Who saw me naked?
I assume it’s Garrett (!!!!)
The thought fills me with a jumble of emotions that I can’t even begin to sort out or process. It just makes my heart pound and my knees week, and my body ignite with heat and tremors.
I’m so filled with overpowering emotions I can barely move. But I have to see who it is.
The door to the bathroom is open a crack. As I shuffle closer to it I can start to hear the actual words being uttered, though the person is obviously trying to be quiet—you know, so I can sleep. Undisturbed. Naked.
Shivering, I peek through the crack in the door. It’s Garrett!!! Seeing him, my body goes up in flames. I was naked in front of Garrett??? My cheeks burn like they’re on fire.
I shudder. What did we do???
Trembling, I peek through the door again.
He’s on his cell phone, sitting on the bathroom counter with the back of his head pressed against the wall, thumping it slightly.
He squeezes his eyes shut and I hear his words, “Look, I have a regretful situation here that I have to deal with somehow, then I’ll be right there.”
Pain slices through me.
Regretful situation? What, banging his stepsister?
It was regretful???
All the air whooshes out of me. I feel like I’ve been slugged in the stomach. Hard. By Garrett.
Oh, he does not have to deal with it.
I grab my shoes and run out of the house.
CHAPTER 22
I didn’t talk to Garrett for the rest of the semester. If we chanced to pass each other in the school hallway, I’d look the other way. The thing was, though—he’d wince and look the other way too.
I swear, he literally winced whenever he saw me. It killed.
I hated him … but unfortunately, I ached for him too.
It was so stupid.
He ruined me.
In more ways than one.
I mean, we friggin’ SLEPT together. That is a huge deal—like major. Like there’s nothing bigger. And yet I don’t even remember it. Not a thing. I was drunk and he took major advantage. It’s so sad because I expected more of him. Wayyy more. (Did I mention I hate him?)
He’s a low-life, creepy, dirt-bag.
I mean, we had SEX!!!
Sex!!!!
That thing I was saving for true love.
Gone.
Given to “The Giver.”
Well, not even really given, he just took it.
… Okay, okay (cringe) I remember now that I had a part in it. Drunkenly planned to actually do it—have sex with him. But he took away my first time. I hadn’t even been present of mind enough to even remember a single thing about it. Not. One. Thing.
And now—now the creep won’t even look at me.
He took my virginity, and now he winces at the sight of me.
That is so painful.
It’s like a slug in the gut every time I see him. Wham, wham, wham.
I guess what he had meant that day—when he said he’d done something “bad”—what he meant was, he purposefully seduced me when he blindfolded me. Seduced me for the single, sole purpose of breaking my heart. I guess it was his revenge for his mom somehow. In his bitter mind, my mom had hurt his mom by marrying his dad, so he purposefully hurt me (my mom’s daughter) to get revenge on my mom. Crush her daughter.
Make her ache and pine for him … then leave. Move out of the house, right after making her think she was cherished and loved. The dude moved out right after. It was like a slap in the face.
Man, he sucked.
I guess that’s what he meant when I told him he ruined my life—he informed me, “You have no idea.”
I didn’t realize the pain would go on and on—but he did.
He knew.
CHAPTER 23
A month into the new semester, Garrett transfers into my chemistry class. Not voluntarily. Obviously. I mean, that becomes apparent quickly. ‘Cause I see him wince when he notices me in the class. He actually blanches at the sight of me. Like: Oh no, I’m going to have to see her everyday.
Yeah well, I’m not exactly going to dance a jig seeing you everyday either, Garrett. So get over yourself, demon from hell. (In fact, go back there.)
I see him give me another tiny (involuntary) peek before he hesitantly goes and sits at the back of the class with a pack of mean girls that I hate. Well, more like they hate me—so I hate them back in defense.
The leader of their pack wants me dead, apparently. But I’m innocent! I swear!! Her name is Carly. Her boyfriend (well, now ex-boyfriend) had some weird, bizarre crush on me last semester while they were dating. She blamed me for it. But I was totally, totally innocent. I was busy dating my gay boyfriend. I didn’t even look at other guys, let alone flirt with them.
Carly gives me a smug look when Garrett slouche
s into the seat next to her. She does it like she knows I’m pining for him. I want to flip her off. And him off. And the whole frickin’ world off.
I turn back around and glare straight ahead.
This is going to be a really fun semester.
CHAPTER 24
After class, while I’m loading up my mess of books, someone slides into the seat next to me. I do a double-take when I see who it is: Garrett.
His lips quirk with amusement at my stunned expression.
He ducks his head slightly, then glances back into my eyes. “Look, I know you hate me,” he says. “But you still have coupon from me. You could use it and still hate me.”
I spit out angrily, “I don’t want you to even touch me.”
He smirks, “Somehow I don’t think that’s true.”
I growl and get up from my seat.
He follows.
“Brandy, I really did give you the coupon because I’m a good back massager—and right now you look like you could use it—me.”
I turn and glare at him.
He raises his eyebrows and smirks. “I mean the massage.”
I roll my eyes. “You did not give me the coupon because you give good back massages. You gave me the coupon because you didn’t buy me a gift.”
He twitches a sheepish grin. Slowly he shakes his head. “You’re wrong. I did buy you a gift—extremely expensive perfume. That stuff you always came home wearing after you went to your rich friend, April’s, house. I bought it … but then I gave you the coupon instead. I wanted an excuse to give you a massage.”
Man, he’s such a player. Dog!
He really expects me too believe that??
I roll my eyes incredulously. “You bought me perfume.”
His answer is a slow nod.
I huff incredulously, “But you decided to give me a coupon instead?”
He nods slightly again, then adds, “I gave you the perfume, though.”
I tilt my head. He did give me perfume—the perfume I love. The perfume I could never, ever afford, so I used to douse it on me every time I went to April’s. I LOVE that perfume.
Garrett looks into my eyes, and murmurs softly, “Remember?”
I do remember him giving it to me now. The day after my birthday he had knocked on my bedroom door and said, “Hey, do you want this?” causally holding up the fancy bottle for me to see.
When my eyes lit up, he shook his head, “Don’t get all mushy about it—a girl forgot it in my room … and I’m hoping not to ever see her again.”
“Romantic,” I muttered.
He’d grinned at that. Then offered softly, “Do you want it?”
The world kind of spins now as I peek up at him. “There wasn’t a girl?”
He shakes his head slowly, “No girl.”
He murmurs, “Just you.”
My knees go weak.
“Hey Garrett,” the hockey coach says loudly, breaking us from our spell. (Well, I was under a spell—Garrett might have just been being a player.) The coach teases, “Stop flirting with girl and get to gym.”
‘Yeah,’ I think, trying to shake my mushy daze and get a grip, ‘Stop flirting with the girl, Garrett.’
Garrett grins at me, “Okay, well, remember, the coupon is good for anytime—you can use it and still hate me. Girls do it all the time.”
“I bet,” I murmur.
Then I wobble shakily to my next class.
Breathless and dizzy.
CHAPTER 25
Garrett’s been in my chemistry class for two weeks now. It’s been super fun. (Not.) Anytime I peek to the back of the classroom at him, a small smile spreads on his lips and he winks.
He catches me every time.
Groan!
I really wish I could control myself and not look at him. But he’s like a magnet to my eyes. A very hot magnet. One that I’d like to throw into the garbage disposal, yet tongue-kiss really, really hard before I do it.
Yesterday after he caught me staring he sent me a text: ‘Fantasizing a back rub?’
‘You wish.’
‘Yeah, Brandy. I do.’
Why is he suddenly like this? He went from wincing at the sight of me, to totally flirting with me again.
Talk about a game player—the dude is totally messing with my mind. And heart. On purpose.
I hate him!!!
(I just wish I could convince my stupid heart of that.)
CHAPTER 26
Today in chemistry our teacher announced we’d be having a huge test tomorrow. I groaned. Loudly.
There’s this big study group I’d like to be a part of—I could definitely use the help. But Evil Carly always has the group meet at her house, and she’s made it more than clear I’m not welcome—in fact she came right out and said it.
So, it’s quite shocking when she and her friend come up to me as I’m at locker and say: “Brandy do you want to come to our study group tonight?”
My jaw drops. Literally.
I blink and tilt my head. “Really?”
I squint at her. “I thought you said I could only come to your study group if ‘hell froze over.’”
“It did,” her friend, Olivia, laughs teasingly. “The guy she likes said he won’t come to the session unless we let you come.”
I squint again. “Really? Who’s the guy?”
Olivia smiles mischievously, “Your ex-stepbrother, ‘The Giver.’”
My breath hitches and my stomach drops and my heart gets all spazzy.
But I try to get a grip and remind myself—the guy is a total player. This is just another of his head games. He’s trying to torture me—one minute being all hot and passionate, the next freezing cold. He’s been like that from the first moment he got to our house—glaring, then flirting.
Besides, Carly is a witch. I in no way want to help her out.
Through gritted teeth I tell her, “Can’t. I’m busy.” (Doing my nails.)
“Oh come on, please come,” Olivia coaxes. “He said he won’t come unless you’re there.”
My stomach drops again and all kinds of strange things happen to my insides.
Olivia goes on with her desperate-ish coaxing, “He’s a brainiac, we actually need the guy—you do too. He’s our only hope to pass the test. Please come, Brandy. Pleeeease.”
Ugh! I really do need the help.
I draw out a breath. “Okay, fine. I’ll come.”
CHAPTER 27
In the end I don’t go to Carly’s. I chicken out. I don’t want to see Garrett. I mean, I had sex with the guy. SEX!!! And then he never even talked to me. No apology. No nothing. Just winces and blanching and looking away. And then—then an offer for a back massage. (???) Really? Is that how guys handle unappreciated sex?—‘Here, have a back massage.’
Well, no thanks.
I can’t handle a night with him and Carly. No way. Talk about torture! I’d rather poke out my eyeballs.
A little after seven, I get a text from Garrett. He’s obviously at the study group. “The witchy girls that were mean to you about boyfriend drama said they invited you here.”
I blink. Then text: “How did you know they were mean to me?”
“Thin walls. Phone calls to best friend … same way I know most of the stuff about you.”
Embarrassment slices through me. He had heard me whine to April while he lived here?
The dude knows way more about me than I realized.
Still, no way. As was just made even more clear, the dude knows wayyy more about me than I’m comfortable with. Like, what I look like naked. And … other humiliating stuff.
… and it left him “regretful.”
So he can go fork himself.
I text back: “Not going.”
Garrett: “Come on, you’d rather flunk than be in the same room with me for an hour?”
“That about sums it up.”
“Ouch.”
Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
CHAPTER 28
“T
hanks a lot for not showing last night, Brandy,” Olivia says all bitter-like as she passes my desk in chemistry. She huffs, “Garrett bailed on us as soon as he found out you weren’t coming.”
I glance back at Garrett. He raises his eyebrows at my stare, Like, ‘Oh, you won’t be in the same room as me, but you’ll sure stare your eyes off.’
I quickly dart my gaze away from him, and glance back at angry Olivia. I draw out a breath, “Look, Carly is really mean to me.”
Her eyes soften a little. “I know,” she grumbles.
Then she adds, “But the rest of us needed his help too.”
“Well, the ‘rest’ of you aren’t that nice to me either.” I don’t tell her this out loud though. I know it’s Carly’s fault they usually ice me out. But geez, it would be nice if some stood up for me sometimes.
… like Garrett did.
CHAPTER 29
I’m almost positive I bombed my chemistry test. Or anyway, did really, really bad. (Like, got a ‘C.’)
As I’m wallowing about it (okay, listening to sad music—which I do a lot these days anyway, ever since I was blindfolded and kissed passionately, then promptly slapped in the face, by the kisser immediately moving out of the house, and then having SEX with me, then immediately wincing about it, THEN offering me a back-rub)—anyway, while I’m wallowing about that stuff, I decide to text my cousin, Amanda Blake.
I love Amanda, but I haven’t seen her in ages. She’ll make me feel better though, she always does.
I give her a quick update: “My mom’s second marriage officially went up in flames last week.”
Then I add, “Speaking of flames … ” I send her a picture of the two of us in bikinis. We had a passing stranger take the picture of us at the beach last year—because there was a famous kid celebrity in the background. We were goofy and thought we were hilarious.
I add with the picture: “Good times!”
