by Y. A. Love
Then I get a text back: “The best. Thanks for the picture. You look hot in that bikini—even hotter than most of the guys at school probably fantasies. You know they fantasize, right? I’ll post the picture on my webpage for them.”
What?!!!
Oh no! My stomach drops.
I meant to send the picture to my cousin—Amanda Blake. But I accidently sent it to this sleazy guy from the hockey team—Blake Andrews.
Gulp.
I quickly type: “Please don’t post it.”
“Why not? Guys will be glad to see it—I know I was glad to see it.”
“Blake, please don’t. I’m begging you.”
“Wow, begging me. Okay … I guess we can work out a deal.”
“I have no money.”
“That’s okay. I don’t need your money. I need something else from you.”
Uh-oh.
CHAPTER 30
“No,” I text Blake adamantly when I hear his “deal.”
He wants me to go out with a guy that he says has a ‘crush’ me.
Blake coaxes, “Come on Brandy, I owe him money and you owe me a favor.”
“Blake, I’m not going to be pimped out—go ask Mallory for that kind of ‘favor.’”
“No, come on. I’m not going to ‘pimp’ you out, Brandy. One date—just dinner with the guy. That’s it.”
I groan. “Who’s the guy?”
“I’m not going to say. He’s shy.”
“Well, then maybe he won’t even want to go on a date with me—I mean if he’s so ‘shy.’”
“He will—believe me. But I’m not even going to tell him about the date. I’m just going to tell him I no longer owe him. Just be outside the school gym tonight.”
CHAPTER 31
While I’m impatiently waiting outside of the school gym, Garrett comes out.
He raises his eyebrows in surprise when he sees me.
He tilts his head. “Brandy, hi. What are you doing here?”
“Ugh!” I groan, for some reason embarrassed to be caught loitering around the school gym. Or maybe it’s the reason I’m here that is so mortifying. I hedge, “I owe Blake Andrews a favor.”
Garrett’s eyes light up. A slow smile spreads on his lips. “You owe Blake?”
He chokes a soft laugh. “I’m the favor. He caught me staring at you the other day.”
His eyebrows go up pointedly, “He said I’m in love with you.”
My heart explodes.
I quickly press against the wall to keep from toppling over. But I try to act chill, like I’m not having an aneurysm and seeing stars.
Instead, I roll my eyes and mutter dryly, “I’m pretty sure Blake isn’t an authority on love—smut, yes. Love, no.”
“Not usually,” Garrett agrees.
He smiles, “Blake’s a funny guy. The dude owes me money. He didn’t tell me you were out here. He just told me there would be something out here that would make me happy.” His jaw muscles tick. “He’s right. I’m happy. And I guess the dude’s debt is paid since he got you to at least not scowl at me for a second.”
Okay, my brain is in a fog. Actually, it’s floated away, nowhere to be seen. So I’m just kind of like—!!!!!!!!!!
So, the words that come out of my mouth aren’t too bright. I murmur inanely, “Blake said the guy I was meeting here is shy.”
Garrett’s lips twitch. “I am shy—when it comes to you.”
I narrow my eyes. “Look, can you spare me your swoony lines?
He grins faintly, “I make you swoon?”
“You make me angry.”
“Look, I am shy when it comes to you, Brandy. These feeling I have for you are weird. Well, weird to me. Totally new to me. Remember about that coupon? I had bought you that expensive perfume. It was crazy expensive. But I just had to get it for you because I knew you liked it so much—and wanted it. But then after I got it, I felt weird about it. I was supposed to hate you. That was my plan. Before I even got to your house. Yet I was buying you perfume and jealous of your boyfriend. It was making me crazy.”
He shakes his head slightly like he’s trying to shake away the bizarre for him memory.
Finally, he goes on with his explanation, “So, yeah, I gave you the coupon instead, but I did that because,” he runs his hands through his hair destructively. “Look, I know I said I forgot about a gift—that’s what I told you. But it was just an excuse—because I actually wanted to give you a massage.”
‘You could give me one now,’ I think all mushy and warm. But I don’t say it out loud. Of course. Because—well, because there are too many reasons to even name.
So, ignoring the fact that the world is spinning and I’m suddenly seeing stars, I growl, “You are such a player! You say all these sweet, tender heart-melting things, yet you never even apologized about that night. Geez, Garrett, I could have been pregnant!”
His brow furrows. “Really? Wait, not by me.”
I glare at him. “I woke in the bed—naked.”
“Yeah. But that was you, Brandy. I mean, you did that—took off your clothes. And I couldn’t put them back on you—for obvious reasons. I mean, if I would have gotten close to you, I would have done the total opposite of trying to coax you back into your clothes. But I couldn’t leave you in the room like that—drunk and saying the things you were.”
My breath hitches. I jerk my head up at him. “Wh—what was I saying?”
He grins slightly. “Well, not clean stuff.”
“But I woke up naked, next to you.”
“No you didn’t. You woke up naked, yeah. But not next to me. You woke up and I was in the bathroom on my phone—explaining that I was going to be late getting to work. When I came out, you were gone.”
He grins slightly. “You thought we—?”
“Yes!”
He runs a hand over his face, trying to hide his grin. He groans, “So that’s why you wouldn’t look at me.”
“Yeah. You were a creep.”
“Only, I wasn’t. You get that, right?”
“Well … now.”
He leans the back of his head against the wall. “This explains so much.”
He stares up at the ceiling a second, grinning huge. Then he looks back into my eyes. “We didn’t do it, Brandy. We didn’t do anything. You’re as virginal as the first day I laid eyes on you—which was a glorious day for me, despite how I may have acted.”
He grins, and recaps it—like it’s this puzzle that he was unable to put together, and he’s amazed that it’s suddenly assembled, and he kind of can’t believe it. “You thought I had sex with you? That’s why you were so cold to me?—I mean, I thought I was going to freeze to death just walking past you in the school hallways.”
“Well, you weren’t exactly all warm and fuzzy to me either.”
His hands go still for a second, then he runs them nervously through his hair. “Yeah, but that was for a different reason. You know that now … right? I felt guilty.”
Confused, I tilt my head up at him. “About what?”
He winces and looks away from me. His eyes look tortured. Haunted.
Seeing him look like that—so somber—everything inside me winds tight. “Garrett, what is it? What did you do?”
He shakes his head slightly. “I can’t tell you, Brandy. It’s not my place to tell you.”
When I just stare at him, confused, he draws out a breath and runs his hands through his hair. He says softly, “Brandy, you frowned every time you saw me. And you’d look away. I figured you hated me.”
My head pounds. “Why would I hate you?”
His jaw muscles tick as he stares at me. It’s like he’s negotiating in his head what to tell me. What comes out of his mouth isn’t exactly the truth. He hedges guardedly, “I don’t know, I blindfolded you, and our parents got a divorce.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t your fault.”
He winces. “Actually … it was.”
CHAPTER 32
My stoma
ch clenches. “Garrett, what did you do?”
He shakes his head slightly. “I can’t tell you, Brandy. I mean, it’s not really my place to tell you. And I don’t want to tell you anyway, because it’s going to make you hate me.”
Anxiety crashes through me. “Why?! What did you do?”
His eyelids slide shut. “Brandy, I feel really bad about it. It was a messed up thing to do. I was just … I was so mad at my dad. And at the time, I swear, I didn’t think about who I was hurting.”
The muscles in his jaw tick. “Look, go home, okay? I don’t deserve you, Brandy. I want you—but I don’t deserve you.”
My lips part slightly, but I don’t know what to say. He seems tortured. In agony about what he did. With all of my heart, I want to help him feel better. I do. But I don’t know what he’s done, and he’s obviously not going to tell me. But since it has him so miserable, I know it’s really terrible and I’m not really going to want to hear it. I mean, he said it will make me hate him.
Garrett draws out a ragged breath, “Brandy, go home okay? Go before I blow my good-guy resolve, because I’m not really known for being a good guy or for my awesome self-restraint. I’m known for being a selfish dirt-wad—I think you called me that. You were right. So go, okay?”
CHAPTER 33
Totally bewildered, when I get home, I march upstairs planning to ask my mom what Garrett was talking about. What did he have to do with the divorce?
But Mom is in the shower—so she dodged that bullet. For the moment.
As I turn to leave her room, her cell phone rings. Normally I’d let it go to her voice-mail, of course. But it’s probably my aunt. Mom’s been talking with her a lot lately, commiserating with her about their recent divorces. I figure I’ll just let her know Mom is in the shower.
But when I pick up her phone, I see her messages from my aunt. She had texted her things like: “It wasn’t your fault.” “You were in a vulnerable place.”
I scroll further down and almost drop the phone from shock.
Oh my gosh!!!!
Mom had slept with Garrett!!!
CHAPTER 34
Garrett winces when he sees me sitting on his doorstep.
I choke out, “You slept with my mom?”
He does a little groan-thing, like he was afraid I was going to call him out on that. He nods slightly.
He glares up at the ceiling and runs a hand over his face. “Look, when I had to move in your house, I was mad about the situation. Mad about everything. I had this plan before I even showed up there: I was going to seduce you—the beautiful, stuck-up cheerleader. Seduce you and crush you—break your heart. But then I met you—and you weren’t stuck-up. You were the total opposite of stuck-up. You were innocent and sweet and had absolutely no idea you were beautiful.”
He stares into my eyes, “The most beautiful thing I ever saw.”
The way he’s looking at me—and the way he said that, so tender and sweet and sincere—my heart actually starts to melt.
But it’s crazy!
Totally demented.
I look away, not wanting to be hypnotized by his tender words and seductive eyes. I need to be strong … because apparently I’m a total sap. (I mean, come on. He slept with my mom!)
Garrett watches me a moment. Then squeezes his eyes shut. He cagily goes on, “I had to make a new plan because there was no way I could go through with the one I had—to seduce you, then break your heart.” He draws out a painful breath, “So … I did it to my dad’s new wife instead.”
CHAPTER 35
I stare at Garrett, barely able to breathe. “You did it just to mess up their lives?”
“Look, they ruined my mom’s life. I hate my dad for that. My mom was sweet—now she’s broken. He broke her, and threw her away. I didn’t want him to be able to get away with that. Him being all happy and her being hurt.”
His voice turns gentle. “Look, I’m sorry now. I didn’t want you to get hurt or know anything about it. And I actually like your mom, so I feel bad.”
I close my eyes, shuddering.
I know he’s not talking about liking her—like liking her.
But my mom is gorgeous. Everyone always thinks we’re sisters. Always. Everyone. They’re always shocked when they learn she’s my mom. “But you’re so young!” they always gasp, then tease, “Did you have her when you were eight?”
Actually, she had me when she was eighteen. I was a “honeymoon baby.” She and Dad used to always tell me that. Back when they were in love. And married.
And not insane.
Garrett is staring at me, seeming to hold his breath, waiting for me to speak. When I don’t, he scrubs a hand over his face. “That’s why I moved out. And why I tried to stay away from you. I felt bad about what I did. I mean, it wasn’t nice—messing with your mom like that. I felt guilty.”
“Yeah, well, you should.”
He nods. “Man, Brandy—I do.”
He sounds so sincere my heart aches a little.
I quickly get up before I start falling for him again.
“Where are you going?”
“Away.”
To be darkly sardonic—that’s the only reason—he says total deadpan, “According to Blake you owe me a date.”
I turn back to him and glare. “Well, you owe me a lot of things—so we’ll just call us even. Though we’re not. We’ll never be even … or friends.”
He winces, then nods slightly, running a hand over his face, like he’s resigned to accepting that. “Okay Brandy,” he murmurs softly. “Whatever you want.”
What I want??? I want him to have not slept with my mom.
CHAPTER 36
Monday even before first period, there is a huge buzz going around school. Blake Andrews has been arrested. Apparently he was secretly running a website that featured people from our school having sex at parties. He secretly recorded them without them knowing, as he would set up a webcam in bedrooms and have them going before the party started.
The website was shut down immediately, but apparently tons of people from our school were on it.
Phoenix stops me in the hallway, “Brandy, can I talk to you for a second?”
He leads me out of the student traffic, off so we can be alone and not overheard. He looks all sympathetic, and like he’s finding it hard to say what has to tell me.
It makes my stomach knot. “Phoenix, what is it?”
He grimaces. “You were on that website.”
I gape at him, then let out a breath of relief. He’s wrong.
With a relieved smile, I shake my head. “I couldn’t be. Trust me, it must have been someone else that looked like me or something. Phoenix, I haven’t had sex yet.”
He nods, his eyes looking pained. “I know—anyone, that saw the website knows.”
Oh my gosh! That party!—the party where I threw myself at Garrett and apparently begged him for sex—it got video taped????
Anger and embarrassment and complete humiliation crash through me all at the same time. But there is only one of those emotions I can do anything about, and she’s walking right this way.
“Phoenix, I have to go.”
I dart after Mallory and whip her around to face me. I yell into her stunned face, “You sent me into that room!”
Apparently, she knows exactly what I’m talking about, since she doesn’t ask for clarification.
She reddens. “Yeah, but I didn’t know Blake was doing that—recording or whatever. Come on, I wouldn’t do that to you, Brandy. I just heard it was a good room for hooking up.” She huffs, “Look, I was doing you a favor.”
“By getting me drunk and sending a guy up to take advantage of me?”
She huffs, looking defensive. “No! It wasn’t a “guy” it was Garrett, who you were all giddy about. And you’d just been dumped by your gay boyfriend. I wanted you to loosen up and have some fun for once. And it was Garrett, ‘The Giver.’ You were guaranteed to have fun.”
I storm away fr
om her. “Never talk to me again!” I shout.
“Brandy!” she calls after me all impatient-like.
Like I’m being childish.
I hate her so much!!
CHAPTER 37
During first period I get a text from Garrett, “Brandy, I didn’t know about the website.”
I read it and want to chuck my phone across the room. And chuck my desk along with it. “Yeah, right. Whatever. He’s one of your best friends. And I hear you were in thousands of episodes.”
“Brandy, I swear I didn’t know.”
“Never talk to me again.”
CHAPTER 38
When I got home from school I took a super long bubble bath, trying to chill.
But it was hard. Like impossible.
I felt so betrayed.
By everyone.
Everyone sucks.
CHAPTER 39
As I’m getting ready for bed, I get a text from April. “Turn on the local news—Blake is making a statement.”
I quickly click on the television—and whoa! There’s Blake. He says into the camera, “I wanted to make a statement here, on television—so a certain girl can hear it. There has been speculation that my friend knew about the website, or even helped with it. He didn’t. He didn’t know a thing about it. I’m only confessing this because he’s my best friend. And he loves a girl—really loves her. I betrayed him, my bro. But I’m trying to make it right. Okay, I betrayed other people too—innocent girls. I’m sorry. No one knew about the sight. Only me. It was all me—well, me and innocent people. I’m sorry.”
Then he adds, “But Brandy, I’ve never seen Garrett like this about a girl before. Ever. He loves you. Please forgive him. It’s all my fault. The dude loves you. Like—really, really loves you.”
