Sinners and Shadows

by Catrin Collier

  ‘Independence, for one thing. Things have been impossible at home lately. I dislike my stepmother’s company almost as much as she dislikes mine. I would have preferred to have moved into my own house but it’s difficult for a single woman to live alone, even when she can afford her own establishment. I knew that if I asked my father’s permission, he would refuse because it would reflect badly on his ability to keep the women in his family in order.’

  ‘Does Geraint know that you’re aware he only married you for your money?’ Sali asked cautiously.

  ‘Of course. I told him that I wanted us to be always totally honest with one another when I proposed to him.’

  ‘You proposed to him!’ Sali repeated in astonishment, wondering what other shocks Julia had in store.

  ‘He said that he intended to ask me to marry him very soon; I didn’t want to wait.’

  Sali smiled as Bella made both toy dogs bark for Edyth’s benefit. ‘You bought them the perfect presents.’

  ‘I am so glad they like them. I have no experience of children, but I hope yours will accept and be tolerant of a trainee aunt.’

  ‘I rather think you’re already accepted.’ Sali fell serious. ‘Julia, you do know that relations between Geraint and I have been strained since Lloyd and I married?’

  ‘No, I didn’t. Geraint’s hardly told me anything at all about you. He’s mentioned your brother Gareth a couple of times, but he’s said very little about you and your younger sister.’

  ‘Llinos,’ Sali murmured absently. ‘Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?’

  ‘Not at all.’

  ‘Do you love Geraint?’

  ‘I don’t even know what love is,’ Julia answered evasively. ‘No, that’s unfair; I do know what it is because my parents were happy until my mother died. My father’s second marriage is a disaster.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ The words sounded trite but Sali didn’t know what else to say in the face of such unreserved honesty. And her compassion for Edward Larch didn’t extend to forgiving him for seducing Rhian when she was at her most vulnerable.

  ‘That’s your husband, isn’t it?’ Julia asked, when a horse and rider approached the house from the direction of the river.

  ‘Yes, and that’s my son Harry, and Robert who works for us riding behind him. Harry’s having riding lessons and, as Lloyd never learned, he decided to join him.’

  ‘You’re lucky.’ Julia looked from the girls sprawled on the rug, to the approaching riders. ‘You have three lovely children.’

  ‘And a wonderful husband.’ Sali didn’t know what kind of husband Geraint would make, but she suspected rather a selfish one.

  ‘It’s strange, Geraint insisted that we make our home in Pontypridd, and yet no sooner do we arrive than he enlists, leaving me to buy a house and furnish it.’

  ‘Geraint told you that he wants to live in Pontypridd?’

  ‘You’re surprised?’

  ‘Frankly, yes.’

  ‘He said something about being on hand to oversee your brother’s investments because he is in the army.’

  ‘Gareth’s just left Sandhurst and is stationed with his regiment in Kent, but he wrote to me last week. He’s expecting to be sent to France very soon.’

  ‘And you don’t want him to go?’ Julia questioned intuitively.

  Sali shook her head. ‘I can’t bear the thought of either of my brothers fighting at the Front.’

  ‘And your sister?’

  ‘Is in a school in Switzerland. We haven’t heard from her for a month, but that’s hardly surprising given what’s going on in France. We hope she’ll stay there and not attempt to come home until the war is over.’

  ‘I’m not quite sure where I am going to find a house like the one Geraint wants me to buy without building one to his specifications.’

  ‘Geraint has given you details?’

  ‘As detailed as an architect’s specifications can be without the drawings.’ Julia opened her handbag and handed Sali a notebook. Sali flicked through the pages, in increasing amazement. Geraint had described the outside and inside of Danygraig House meticulously even down to the type of ashtrays in the study, the china patterns he wanted for the dining and breakfast rooms and the style of furniture; mahogany in the dining room, oak in the library, walnut in the two master bedrooms – and satinwood in the others. Feeling as though she was prying, Sali closed the book and handed it back to Julia.

  ‘You are right; it is going to be difficult to find a house like that. Perhaps you ought to look at the ones that are being built just outside town on the Common. One of the builders might be prepared to adapt an existing design.’

  ‘That’s a good idea, thank you, I will.’

  ‘Would you like to meet Lloyd and Harry? They’re riding into the stable yard.’

  ‘I’d love to,’ Julia said enthusiastically.

  ‘Mari, would you keep an eye on the girls for me, please?’ Sali asked the housekeeper.

  ‘Their dogs are guarding them,’ Mari joked.

  Sali led the way around the side of the house. Julia was so forthright and open, she felt as though she had known her for years. And, although her new sister-in-law was undoubtedly plain, what she lacked in looks she more than made up for in integrity and honesty. Whichever way she viewed Geraint’s marriage, she couldn’t help feeling that, given his recent behaviour, he had definitely married a woman a great deal better than he deserved.

  *…….*……*

  ‘I hate having to leave you here, Rhian, but for the sake of my practice we’d better keep up the pretence of employer and employee.’ Edward left his seat and retrieved his suitcase from the overhead luggage rack. ‘You have enough small change to tip the porter to carry your cases from the Cardiff to the Tonypandy train, and to pay a porter and a cab in Tonypandy?’

  ‘I do.’ Rhian removed her glove and pulled off the wedding and engagement ring he had given her when he’d met her on Cardiff station at the outset of their holiday. ‘You’d better have these back.’

  He folded her hand over them. ‘I promise you that you will need them again and soon, so keep them safe.’ He lifted down the set of matching green leather luggage that he had bought for her and stacked it together with her two new hatboxes next to the door.

  She opened her handbag, and tucked the rings into an inner pocket. ‘You should never have given me so many things. I feel guilty for accepting them.’ She felt more than guilty, she felt as though Edward had ‘paid’ her with his lavish and extravagant gifts. And that put her in the same bracket as the women who plied their trade at the back of the Empire Theatre.

  She had spent a week doing things a woman of her class and station in life could only dream of on a maid’s wage. Travelling first-class on a train, spending a week in the best hotel in Brighton and acquiring more clothes and jewellery than she could possibly wear in a year. Edward had also insisted on opening a bank account in her name and depositing a hundred pounds of ‘just in case’ money. All of which compounded the feeling that she had accepted payment for ‘services rendered’.

  ‘I bought you no more than you deserve. That was one of the best and certainly the most relaxing weeks of my life.’ It was true; he hadn’t felt so well or rested since Amelia had died. He lifted a corner of the blind that he had drawn on the window and eyed the backs of the buildings coming into view. ‘Another few minutes and we’ll be in Cardiff. I’ll go out ahead of you and send a porter for your luggage. Don’t bother to cook tonight, order in dinner from the White Hart. We’ll have a quiet evening.’

  ‘You’re not staying in Llan House?’

  ‘After this week,’ he stooped down and kissed her, ‘I never intend to spend a night there again. And you should rest while you can. Don’t forget that you’re going to be busy next week getting the shop ready for the opening.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to working again.’

  ‘I’m not sure that I am. Another week like last week would have been perfect. Nex
t year we’ll go away for a fortnight.’

  ‘That would be greedy.’ She smiled.

  ‘It would but it would also be rather wonderful. Have a bath when you go in and dress in the white silk gown and robe, and,’ he lifted his eyebrows, ‘no underwear.’

  Rhian suspected that Edward derived more pleasure from buying her clothes, and choosing what she would wear, than she did. Especially the outfits she wore in the evening when they were together in private. ‘Have you any preference for dinner?’

  ‘You know my tastes, the simpler the better.’ The train began to slow down. ‘Don’t open the blinds on the window or the corridor. Someone who knows me may see me walking out, look in and see you.’ He jammed his trilby on his head, draped his coat over his arm, picked up his suitcase and left the carriage, sliding the door shut behind him.

  A few minutes later the train juddered to a halt. Rhian slipped on the brown silk coat that matched her skirt. When she judged it safe, she went to the window and peered through the side of the blind. She saw Edward leave the train and watched his tall, slim figure stride assertively through the crowd. He hailed a porter and waved him in the direction of the carriage. Then she spotted Harris walking up the steps on to the platform, and ducked back out of sight.

  ‘You wanted a porter, madam?’ The porter knocked and opened the door.

  ‘Yes, please.’

  He gazed in dismay at the pile of cases next to the door. ‘Are all these yours, madam?’

  ‘Six cases and two hatboxes,’ she confirmed.

  ‘I’ll need help with this lot. Where you going, madam?’

  ‘Tonypandy.’

  ‘All I can say is that I hope someone is meeting you the other end.’

  It was then Rhian realized that while she remained with Edward and he insisted on remaining ‘respectable’, there’d never be anyone meeting her. So far as the world was concerned, she was a single woman without family. And, given her secretive relationship to Edward, which she didn’t doubt would eventually lead to gossip, estranged from her friends.

  Edward adored her. He couldn’t get enough of her company – now. But after Joey she knew what it was to be in love and she was realistic enough to accept that Edward was no more in love with her than she with him. Their relationship was purely physical, rooted and based in lust. They both derived enjoyment from it, but it was also fraught with guilt; his for using her, which was why he insisted on showering her with expensive presents, and hers for accepting them because it made her feel like a whore.

  She wondered what he would do if he tired of her. He’d made no secret that there had been others before her. If another girl caught his eye, would he ask her to move out of the rooms so he could move her successor in? Would she lose her position as manager of his shop?

  The uncomfortable thought occurred to her that should Edward ever discard her, she would find herself more alone than she had ever been in her life. Without Sali, Megan, Mrs Williams or, given that she was Edward’s daughter, even Julia to turn to. Her position as Edward’s mistress had effectively isolated her from her previous life, as much as a move to the colonies of Canada or Australia would have.

  Lloyd refilled Julia and Sali’s wine glasses and then his own. ‘Will you carry on working for the suffragette cause, Julia?’ he asked.

  ‘Now that the King has given a complete and general amnesty to all suffragettes being held in prison, as well as all strikers convicted of assault, I think the war has temporarily pushed both the suffragette and workers’ rights campaigns into abeyance. Besides, my first priority must be to look for a house. I can’t live in the New Inn for ever.’

  ‘Why don’t you move in with us?’ Sali asked impulsively. ‘We’d love to have you, wouldn’t we, Lloyd?’

  Lloyd shot her a warning glance and Sali knew what he was thinking. Julia was delightful company but unless she found a place and quickly, Geraint would be likely to spend his leaves with them and that would put them all under enormous strain.

  Knowing what they were thinking, Julia asked, ‘Is it possible for me to find a house in six weeks? Geraint may or may not get leave then, but he certainly won’t get any before.’

  ‘If you don’t, you could always move back into the New Inn for however long Geraint’s leave lasts, and back here when he returns to his regiment,’ Lloyd suggested.

  ‘After getting to know both of you this evening, I am sorry that things are strained between you and my husband.’ Julia handed her empty plate to Sali.

  ‘So are we,’ Lloyd replied deprecatingly. ‘You do know that things between my younger brother and your husband are even worse. On occasion they have become shall we say – somewhat physical?’

  ‘Geraint did mention it.’ Julia allowed herself a small smile.

  ‘So, what do you say, Julia?’ Sali asked. ‘Would you like to stay with us?’

  ‘I warn you that our service isn’t up to the standard of the New Inn but it is cheaper if you don’t persist in buying the children toys.’ Lloyd smiled.

  ‘Yes, please.’ Julia returned his smile, feeling as if she had found herself the second family that she had been looking for.

  ‘Home, sir.’

  Edward woke with a start, opened his eyes and to his amazement discovered that his carriage was outside Llan House. ‘We’re here already, Harris?’

  ‘You fell asleep before we left Cardiff, sir.’ Harris opened the door and folded down the steps. ‘I’ll bring in your luggage.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Sir?’

  ‘Yes, Harris?’ Edward’s limbs were heavy from sleep and he moved awkwardly as he stepped down from the carriage.

  ‘I would like to hand in my notice so I can enlist, sir. My brother’s going and we want to join up together.’

  ‘This rather leaves me in the lurch, Harris,’ Edward said irritably.

  ‘I did wait until you came back, sir. If it had been up to my brother we would have signed up last Monday.’

  ‘Isn’t this a sudden and irresponsible decision of yours, Harris?’

  ‘I don’t think so, sir. I’ll be sorry to leave Llan House, you’ve been a more than fair employer, but well, the way my brother and me see it, our country needs us more than anyone else right now. So, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to pack right away and leave tonight.’

  ‘And the horses, have you thought what’s going to happen to them?’ Edward was furious at being saddled with practical problems the minute he’d returned to Tonypandy.

  ‘I’ll stable them as usual tonight, sir. The oldest Jones boy said he’d see to them in the morning and I’ve made enquiries. There’s room in the stables in town.’

  ‘You’ve taken a lot upon yourself, Harris.’

  ‘I wanted to make sure that they would be all right, sir. About my wages …’

  ‘Come into the house after you’ve packed.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’

  ‘Just one thing, Harris. I know that some people would see what you’re doing in a heroic light, but I have to be practical. I can’t pay your wages while you’re in the army.’

  ‘I wouldn’t expect you to, sir.’

  ‘And I can’t guarantee that you’ll have a job to come back to. I’ll need to employ another coachman and I can hardly fire him when the war is over, especially if it lasts any length of time.’

  ‘I understand, sir.’ Harris returned to the box and drove the carriage around the back of the house.

  Edward walked up the steps and Mrs Williams opened the door.

  ‘I trust you had a good journey and a successful trip, sir?’

  ‘I did, Mrs Williams.’ Something in the expression on her face made him uneasy. ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Not exactly, sir. I was hoping to have a word with you.’

  Sensing trouble of his wife’s making, he braced himself. ‘I’ll see you in my study in ten minutes, Mrs Williams. Is my wife in?’

  ‘She’s at church, sir. Can I get you anything?
’

  He shivered, suddenly cold after his sleep although the evening was warm. ‘Hot coffee, please, Mrs Williams. My letters are in my study?’

  ‘On your desk, sir.’

  ‘Most of the clothes in my suitcase can be sent to the laundry.’

  ‘I’ll see to them, sir.’

  Edward retreated to his study and poured himself a brandy. He checked the time. Seven o’clock. With luck, Mr Hadley would preach a long sermon, in which case Mabel wouldn’t leave church for another half-hour. And as she usually spent another ten minutes gossiping outside afterwards, it would give him ample time to go through his mail, pack clean clothes and be long gone by the time she came home.

  A pile of envelopes had been stacked neatly to the side of his blotting pad on his desk. Taking his brandy, he sat in his chair and flicked through them before picking up a silver sword letter-opener that had been a gift from Amelia.

  ‘Your coffee, sir.’ Mrs Williams brought a silver pot and porcelain cup in on a tray.

  ‘Bills, bills and more bills.’ He studied the grocer’s invoice. ‘Ground almonds, salted almonds, French cheeses, eight pints of fresh double cream?’ He looked questioningly at Mrs Williams.

  ‘The mistress has been doing a great deal of entertaining, sir.’

  He opened the fishmonger’s bill. ‘Caviar, smoked salmon, lobster, shrimp, prawns.’ He moved on to the greengrocer’s account. ‘Grapes, asparagus, pineapple, melon … The food bill for the last month is the highest it’s ever been and for most of that time my wife has been living alone.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ Mrs Williams agreed shortly. ‘But if you’d like to see the household accounts, you’ll note that the food bill for the servants has been halved.’

  ‘You don’t follow the same menu?’

  ‘It’s smoked salmon on Melba toast upstairs and bloater paste on dry bread downstairs, sir.’

  ‘Have you complained to my wife?’

  ‘Not only me, sir, but also Cook.’

  ‘And her reaction?’

  ‘She said there has been a great deal of waste in the house, sir.’