Heart Trouble

by Jae

  Shit. Maybe her brothers were right. Last year, they’d been bitching to each other about their wives, who told them they weren’t expecting anything special—and had then complained when they hadn’t done anything.

  Being in a relationship with a woman was definitely more complicated.

  Hope ran her hands through her hair, giving it that sexy tousled look that Laleh loved. “I guess I might as well tell you now. I know you can’t take a weekend off without giving your aunt some notice.”

  Take a weekend off? Laleh’s breath caught. What was Hope planning?

  “Well, with your work and my work, we don’t get a lot of uninterrupted time together, and we’re both working on Valentine’s Day, so I was thinking maybe we could do something the weekend after.” Hope reached beneath a stack of medical journals and picked up several pages from the coffee table.

  It was a printout of a website. Pictures showed a cabin nestled between pine trees, a cozy fireplace, and a hot tub that looked big enough for two. A hot tub for two… And a king-sized bed, with no other sleeping accommodation pictured anywhere.

  Her heart started beating faster. Well, what did you expect? It’s a romantic little getaway for couples. You think they go their separate ways at night? Of course Hope would want to end a wonderful, relaxing day by making love. It was what couples did on Valentine’s Day weekend, after all. And a big part of her wanted exactly the same. Still, the mere thought made butterflies take flight in her stomach.

  “It’s only an hour and a half from LA. If you can get next weekend off, we could drive up on Saturday morning and stay until Sunday evening.” Hope searched her face, looking as if she had just proposed. “So, what do you think?”

  Her mouth was dry, so she had to smack her lips before she could speak. “Wow. That… I didn’t expect that. When you said you had to work on Valentine’s Day, I thought you weren’t big on celebrating V-Day. And, you know, that would have been okay. I don’t need you to do anything special, just because the calendar says you’re supposed to—”

  “I want to,” Hope said. “Not because it’s Valentine’s Day but because…just because.”

  Laleh beamed. For a woman like Hope, who was usually careful with emotional declarations, that was big. “I’d love to spend the weekend at the cabin with you—just because.” Her gaze went to the picture of the cabin’s only bed, and heat shot through her body at the thought of what might happen there next weekend. “It…” She cleared her throat. “It looks like a great place.”

  “But?”

  “No but.” She fiddled with the sheets of paper.

  Hope lightly tapped her knee. “Now who’s faking it?” She peered at her even more closely. “You know, at moments like this, I really wish our link was telepathic.”

  A flush rose up Laleh’s neck. Oh, heck, no. She really didn’t want Hope to read her thoughts right now.

  “Hey.” The simple tap turned into gentle rubbing.

  Not helping. The touch to her leg made her want to drive to that cabin right now—or forget about that king-sized bed and make love to Hope right here on the couch. But another part of her felt that it would have been moving too fast. She wanted this to be right, with no hesitation or regrets for either of them, and she wasn’t sure she was there yet.

  Directing her gaze at the website printout—anywhere but at Hope—she whispered, “I’d love to go to the cabin with you, but I’m not sure I’m ready.” Boy, she sounded like a sixteen year old virgin, not a twenty-seven-year-old woman. She cringed.

  “Ready? For a weekend away? What do you—?” Hope’s eyes widened. “Oh! Because of…” She gestured to the picture of the king-sized bed.

  Her cheeks heating again, Laleh nodded. She peeked over at Hope. “Didn’t you…? Isn’t that what you wanted?” How embarrassing! Had she misunderstood?

  “Wanted? God, yes. Of course I want that.” Hope’s voice was hoarse. A blast of desire hit Laleh through their link, leaving no doubt about how much Hope wanted that—wanted her.

  Then the desire was muted by a gentler emotion as Hope took Laleh’s hand and tugged until she looked up and into her eyes. “But that’s not why I rented the cabin. This isn’t a romantic setup to get you into bed. Don’t get me wrong. If we end up having…making love, it would be…” She gestured with her free hand, then dropped it into her lap. “I don’t have the words to tell you how wonderful it would be. But even if you’re not ready yet, it’ll still be the best Valentine’s Day weekend of my life.”

  And she had thought Hope wasn’t a romantic! A lump formed in Laleh’s throat. She didn’t know what to say and hoped their connection would let Hope know how touched she was. “I… I don’t know if I am ready or not. A big part of me is shouting, ‘God, yes, I am!’ And that part is growing by the minute.”

  Hope laughed. “If you were a man, I’d have a pretty good idea which part of you you’re talking about.”

  “Eww!” Laleh backhanded her across the shoulder, but she had to laugh too. “I don’t want you to think that I’m hesitating because I have any doubts about us.”

  Hope nodded, her gaze intent.

  Laleh trailed her thumb across the back of Hope’s hand. The touch sent tingles through Hope’s body, and Laleh felt each of them. “I want you.” She forced herself to look up and into Hope’s eyes as she said it, even though she wasn’t used to voicing her desires so openly. “I’m not hesitating because the physical desire isn’t there. For the most part, the why has stopped mattering. It’s just all pretty overwhelming, and sometimes, I feel like I’m barely keeping up with what’s happening. A few months ago, I assumed I was a hundred percent straight. I had no idea you even existed or that something like our connection existed and now…”

  Hope squeezed her hand. “I know. I never thought I’d have a relationship like ours either, so I get why you’d feel a little overwhelmed. But there’s no rush and no deadline on sex, okay? If…when, hopefully, we sleep together, I want you to be sure. Until then, that bed,” she tapped the printout, “will see some snuggle action. If you are comfortable with that. Or I could sleep on the pull-out sofa the website mentioned.”

  Laleh shook her head. She wouldn’t let that happen. The thought of sleeping with Hope—even if it meant just holding her while they slept—made her close her eyes so she could imagine it better. With the intensity of their connection, she wasn’t sure they’d be able to keep things platonic once their bodies pressed together beneath the covers. The mental image made her want to fan herself. But she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

  Hope lifted her other hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles. “So, it’s settled, then? We’ll spend next weekend at the cabin. No expectations. Whatever happens, happens—or it doesn’t.”

  Laleh met Hope’s steady, reassuring gaze. Incredible how liberating it was to be with her. A smile inched onto her lips. “No expectations?” She gave her voice a teasing tone. “None at all?”

  “Well, maybe a kiss or two since it’s Valentine’s Day weekend and all.”

  Laleh tugged her closer by their still-joined hands and met her lips in a long kiss. “Or two hundred,” she whispered when they came up for air.

  “Or that,” Hope said before they both fell silent and focused on getting a head start on the two hundred kisses.

  * * *

  Freshly showered, Laleh slipped beneath the covers. The slide of cool satin against her warm skin gave her goose bumps. Finally, it was time for her favorite part of the day. She reached for the phone on her bedside table. Two taps and it was ringing.

  Hope picked up on the first ring.

  For the past few weeks, calling each other before going to sleep had become a daily ritual. When Hope worked the night shift, she called when she got a break at work, but she would be covering the day shift tomorrow, so Laleh looked forward to a longer conversation and she sensed that Hope did too.

  “Are you in bed?” Laleh asked.

  It took Hope several seconds
to answer. “You know,” she said, her voice husky, “that’s usually how phone sex starts.”

  Heat spread through Laleh’s body, and she couldn’t even tell if it was embarrassment or arousal—probably both. She swallowed against her suddenly dry mouth. “Well, I’ll have to take your word for it.”

  “So you never…?” Hope cleared her throat. “You never had phone sex?”

  Her cheeks flushed, Laleh shook her head before realizing that Hope couldn’t see it. “Um, no.” She could honestly say that the thought had never even crossed her mind. After a moment of hesitation, she gave in to her curiosity, despite her burning cheeks. “And you?”

  “A few times.”

  How matter of fact Hope sounded, as if it were no big deal. No hint of embarrassment drifted through their link. Laleh didn’t know what to say.

  “You seem surprised,” Hope said.

  “Yes. No. I mean, my upbringing was probably very different from yours. Until I was about eighteen, my parents didn’t even like me talking to boys.”

  Hope’s chuckle reverberated through the phone. “It turns out they should have been worried about girls too.”

  A smile crept onto Laleh’s lips. “Girl,” she said quietly. The only person her parents needed to worry about right now was Hope.

  “Girl,” Hope repeated.

  Her happiness at the thought washed over Laleh. Then it faded away and was replaced by nervousness.

  “Can I ask you something?” Hope said. “What we talked about the other day… You know, about sleeping together…having…well, sex. It made me think.”

  “Um, okay.” Hope’s sudden apprehension made her tense too.

  “We haven’t talked about this before, so I’m not sure if you…” Hope cleared her throat. “You’re not…? I mean, what you just said about your parents and your upbringing makes me wonder… Did you…? Have you…?”

  The stammering of the usually so confident woman put a smile on Laleh’s face despite her embarrassment. “Did I what?”

  “Have you slept with your boyfriends?” Hope blurted out. “You aren’t a virgin, are you?”

  Laleh pressed the cool covers against her overheated cheeks for a moment. “No. No, I’m not.”

  A loud exhale echoed through the phone. “Oh. Good. I guess. I thought it might be part of the reason why you’re not ready yet.”

  “No. It has nothing to do with that. I admit I’m not the most experienced when it comes to…to that, but even if I were, I’m not sure it would help much. With Al—”

  “No names,” Hope said quickly. “It’s stupid, but that would make it too real. On the one hand, I’m kind of glad that I won’t be your first, but on the other hand, I don’t want to imagine you with anyone else.” She chuckled, but it sounded forced. “How’s that for a contradiction?”

  Her fierce possessiveness engulfed Laleh like an embrace. “You’ve got nothing to worry about,” she told Hope. “It was different with them. I mean, I’m pretty sure it will be. That’s what makes me a little nervous.”

  “Because I’m a woman?”

  “Partly.” Laleh marveled at her ability to talk about this with Hope. Yet another thing that was different from her two previous relationships. “I mean, I’ve never been with a woman, and I don’t know the first thing about how to please one.”

  “You do,” Hope rasped. “You know how to please yourself, don’t you? You know what you like.”

  Now they were talking about that? Laleh rubbed her face with her free hand. Jeez, her blush might become permanent. But, embarrassment aside, she had to admit that it was also kind of hot—and from what she sensed from Hope, she thought so too. “Um, yes.” She wrestled down two decades of being told that good girls didn’t talk about this. She trusted Hope. And when the time came, she wanted to make sure she could satisfy her. “How about you? What do you like…in bed?”

  Hope sucked in an audible breath. “Are you trying to turn this into your first phone sex experience?”

  “No!” Or was she? Her skin tingled with excitement, and a heaviness started low in her belly. She knew Hope could feel it, just as she could sense Hope’s growing arousal, and that intensified the tingling. Maybe taking this baby step would make her more comfortable and confident in her ability to please Hope. If that little episode in the grocery store, when Hope had masturbated, was any indication, touching herself while Hope did the same on the other end of the line would be almost like them touching each other. But with Hope, almost wasn’t enough. “No,” she finally said. “Maybe with you, I would be brave enough to try it, but I want to see your face and look into your eyes the first time I touch you.”

  A groan vibrated through the phone. “God, I want that too.” Hope inhaled and exhaled several times, and Laleh felt her trying to tamp down her desire. “So…” She stopped to clear her throat. “You said partly—part of what makes you want to wait is that you’ve never been with a woman. What’s the other part?”

  “Our connection.”

  Hope sighed. “That you still can’t be sure whether you really want this for you or because I want it?”

  “No. I accepted that we will probably never get a clear answer on that. I’ll just have to trust my feelings.”

  Hope’s relief made Laleh feel as if a boulder had been lifted off her own shoulders.

  “What is it, then, that makes you so nervous?” Hope asked.

  “It’s that the connection between us makes everything feel larger than life.” Laleh paused. “Does that sound stupid?”

  “Not at all,” Hope said immediately. “It makes perfect sense.”

  They were both silent for a while, and Laleh savored the feeling of being understood so completely.

  “So,” Hope said after a minute or two, “since phone sex is out, how about telling me about your day?”

  Laleh laughed. God, she loved this woman. The thought gave her pause, but only for a second. Yes. I really do. It was overwhelming and scary, but mostly, it was wonderful. She settled more comfortably into bed. “Okay. Ready to hear all about my encounter with the whitefish?”

  “Does the story have a happy ending? Because, you know, I like happy endings.”

  “It has one,” Laleh said. “Well, for me. Not for the fish.”

  “Then let’s hear it.”

  CHAPTER 25

  The moment Laleh got out of the car, she breathed in the clean mountain air and fresh pine scent. Leaves rustled, and a small stream provided soothing background sounds right next to the cabin, which was nestled between the pine trees, with no other people or cabins in sight.

  It would be just the two of them for an entire weekend.

  She spread her arms wide and spun in circles, the wind combing through her hair and her laughter echoing through the forest.

  Grinning, Hope set down the cooler she had gotten out of the trunk and caught her. “Looks like I chose the right place.”

  “It’s amazing.” Almost as amazing as being in Hope’s arms. Laleh entwined her fingers on the small of Hope’s back and pressed against her body, savoring its warmth and the way Hope smelled. “How did you find it?”

  A hint of embarrassment came through their link. “I asked Jordan for advice on where to take you for Valentine’s Day weekend.”

  Laleh chuckled. “Taking relationship advice from the woman who avoids them?” She enjoyed the way a hue of red rose up Hope’s neck and couldn’t resist following its path with her lips.

  Hope shuddered in her arms. “Oh, not all of her relationships end the morning after. She just…God, Laleh, I can’t think when you do that.”

  Reluctantly, Laleh stopped nuzzling. She didn’t want to be a tease, but she couldn’t resist when they were close like this.

  Hope cleared her throat. “Jordan prefers to keep her relationships short and fun.”

  “I always thought it was mostly men who were like that, not women.”

  “Oh, believe me, there are plenty of women who enjoy casual sex.”


  Hope’s voice, low and hoarse, sent shivers through Laleh’s body. “Were you ever like that?”

  “Not exactly like that, but I never wanted to be tied down either.”

  That wasn’t really why Hope had avoided serious relationships; Laleh knew that. Getting close to someone meant opening herself up for hurt and disappointment. She vowed not to be the cause of either for Hope.

  Gently, she slid out of her arms and took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go look at the inside.” She picked up the cooler, which was much heavier than expected. “Uff. What do you have in here?”

  “The website said the cabin comes with a grill on the back deck, so I bought some steaks. I didn’t want you to have to cook on your weekend off.”

  Laleh pulled her to a stop at the cabin door. “You,” she tapped Hope’s chest, “are the perfect girlfriend. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  “Um… Nope. You get to be the first.”

  They looked at each other. Their connection tugged them closer, or maybe it was the urge to show Hope how wonderful she was.

  Laleh put the cooler down. If they continued at this pace, they would never make it inside, but she didn’t care. Just as she leaned up to kiss Hope, her cell phone rang.

  No! She had been so excited to go on this weekend trip with Hope that she’d forgotten to turn off her phone. Frowning, she pulled it out and glanced at the screen. A groan escaped her. “It’s my mother.”

  Hope stiffened against her, and the happiness drifting through their link dimmed and was replaced by a gnawing worry.

  The sudden tension in the air made Laleh’s stomach clench. “I’m sorry. If I don’t answer, she’ll send the police or at least my brothers and all of my cousins after me.”

  “Go ahead,” Hope said. “I’ll get the steaks and the suitcases inside.”

  “Thanks.” Laleh watched her go before swiping her thumb across the screen. “Salaam, Maman.”

  “Laleh joon! Where are you?”

  Laleh winced and struggled against the urge to pull the phone away from her ear. “Maman, you don’t have to shout. I can hear you just fine.”